I'm planning to edit Chapter Nine: Big News to prevent spoilers for North, the multi-chapter fic I'm writing based on Big News. So, if you need to go copy and paste it into word so you can save it on your computer, I would do that soon. Now would be a great time. If by the time you read this, it's already been edited, and you really desperately need a copy (which would be very odd, but hey, I don't judge) PM me and I'll send you a copy.
Upload Date: January 27, 2013
Chapter Rating: T
Chapter Summary: Castle, Beckett, Jenny and Ryan double date. Jenny tries not to say anything controversial.
She fails.
#42
"Hey, Castle, Beckett, Jenny wanted me to invite you guys out to dinner," said Ryan.
"Oh, like a double-date?" Beckett asked curiously.
"Yeah."
"Like the double-date you guys had with Javier and Lanie?"
"Oh, come on, that was a freak incident. It's not gonna happen again. Jenny promised to stay away from controversial topics."
"See? It's fine, Castle. Besides, so what if she does bring up marriage or kids? I'm not Lanie. I'm not going to freak out. Those are the sorts of things a couple should talk about."
"Well, what if I freak out?"
"Would you break up with me over it?"
"Of course not."
'Then, there's nothing to worry about."
"Don't say that! You'll jinx it."
"Uh... so, what do I tell Jenny, yes or no?"
"Well, I can't speak for Castle, but I'm in."
Ryan and Beckett looked at him expectedly.
He stared back, jaw set, determined not to break.
"Fine," he sighed finally. "Tell her yes. But if we break-up, I'm blaming you," he warned Ryan.
"Relax, Castle, nobody's breaking up." She paused. "But if we do, I'm keepin' the jewellery."
"And then, Kate says, 'Hide!'"
Ryan and Jenny laughed.
"And did he?"
"Of course not!" said Castle.
"But you made her hide!" said Jenny.
"I know, it was totally unfair."
"Well, as I said, the difference was, I had my pants on."
They laughed again.
"So, then, Kate says, 'Act normal, if that's even possible for you.'
They chuckled.
"And did he?" Jenny asked.
"No!" said Ryan. "He was acting very weird, extremely suspicious and I thought it was odd that he was there because I thought they'd had a falling out."
"Well, if that's true, how come you had no idea?" Castle challenged him.
"I was focused on the case, keeping Beckett safe. I didn't let myself get side-tracked. I just figured you two had made up."
"Well..." said Beckett, "you weren't wrong."
"You know, that is just like Kevin. When he is focused on one thing, he's completely oblivious to everything else. The first time I told him, I loved him, you know what he said? 'You have rats!' He didn't even hear me, he was so focused on an extermination plan."
"Which I didn't end up executing, by the way, since my wife is such a softie." He looked at her with deep affection.. "I bought some humane rat traps and we set them free at the park."
"Just what this city needs: more rats running around," said Castle.
"But she told me later, in a little note with my lunch, and it was very romantic."
"Not as romantic as the first time he said it. Actually, he was the one to say it first. It was only a few months into our relationship and we weren't exclusive yet. We went out to dinner, and he seemed really nervous. Then he got all serious and said he wanted to be monogamous. " She smiled. "So, then, I asked him why, and he barely managed to croak out that he was falling in love with me. But it still counts."
"That is so sweet," said Beckett.
"Yeah," said Jenny, looking into her husband's eyes as he smiled sweetly back at her.
"Uh, so," said Jenny, snapping out of it and turning back to Castle and Becket, "how did you guys say the big L the first time?"
Castle and Beckett glanced at each other uncomfortably.
"Oh, I'm sorry," said Jenny, "was that one of those controversial topics I wasn't supposed to bring up?"
"No, no, it's fine, it's just a really emotional story, that's all," said Beckett.
"Uh, Kate, are you sure - ?"
Beckett covered his hand with hers and squeezed it gently.
"It's fine, Castle." She looked back up at Jenny and Ryan, still smiling politely. "The first time Castle told me was the day I was shot."
"Oh," said Jenny, looking mortified, "I'm sorry. I had no idea - "
"I know, it's fine."
Castle squeezed her hand back, giving her a small smile, which she returned.
"Well, I'm sure the first time you told Rick you loved him was probably much happier."
"Uh... actually, I haven't said it yet," said Beckett.
"Oh."
A very awkward silence followed, until Beckett excused herself to use the restroom.
"Oh, my God," said Jenny when she was out of earshot. "I am so sorry! I don't know what's wrong with me. I have a problem."
"Relax,' said Castle. "It's not a big deal. You didn't know."
"I just assumed she would have told you by now. I mean, clearly she does. So, I guess I just don't understand."
"Well..." said Ryan, "Beckett likes to keep those sorts of things close to the vest - "
"Yeah, but he's her partner. He's the one person she should be comfortable enough to confide her deepest secrets in. It's not healthy to keep so much emotion bottled up inside and I'm doing it again, aren't I? I need help."
"So... that happened," Castle said on the drive home.
"Yep," Beckett nodded.
He took a deep breath.
"I don't want you to feel pressured - "
"I don't," she assured him.
"Good. But at the same time, I don't want you to feel like you can't say it, if you want to."
"Ok."
"Ok."
He nodded, keeping his eyes on the road, shooting Beckett the occasional furtive glance.
"What is it, Castle?"
"Nothing."
She raised her eyebrows.
He sighed.
"Do you not feel comfortable with me?"
She looked at him confusedly.
"Castle, I let you see me naked on an almost-daily basis. I think that's about as comfortable as it gets."
"No, I mean... I know how you feel about me, and if you haven't said it yet because you're not ready, that's perfectly understandable. But... if you still don't feel safe enough to just say what you're feeling - "
"No, Castle, it's... not that." She took a deep breath. "I've always believed that the person with the most power in the relationship is the one who cares less. And I'm not saying I want to be the one with all the power but... I feel like, if I say it, then my cards are on the table, and I'm vulnerable."
"Kate, you know I love you."
"Yeah, I do; but what scares me is... I think I might love you more."
They came to a stop light.
He turned to her, smiling in earnest. He lifted her hand to his lips, brushing softly against her skin.
"Not possible."
"You're not in here," she said, putting her other hand over her heart.
"Look, Kate. You said it. And the world didn't end. I'm still here. I still love you. And I'll keep showing up for as long as you do."
Her lips gave way to a small smile.
"Promise?"
"Always."
