Chapter 28

"With my life." Those were the three little words she uttered when I asked if she trusted me. She'd stood there on the lakeshore, blonde hair tumbling down around her shoulders, wearing only my t-shirt. In the moonlight her skin looked more luminous than ever. Her eyes poured out the genuine sincerity of what she said. I knew she meant it. A wave of intense desire washed over me and in that moment I'd grabbed her, pressed her against my bare chest and kissed her with more passion than I'd ever felt before. My fingers entwined in her silky hair as my lips devoured hers. She kissed back with just as much intensity. I move my kiss down from her lips, along her jaw line and onto the smooth skin of her neck. She arches her neck and the softest sigh escapes her mouth. It only fuels my desire, my need for her. The coolness of the lake water, the heat of the dry night air, the glow of the moonlight, the feel of her delicate touch against my skin. It's euphoric.

I've kissed girls but never like this. Never wanted anyone the way I want her in this moment. Who is this amazing girl? I want to know everything about her. Want to be everything for her. It's as if she's the key that opens a part of me that I never knew existed. Everything before her, every girl before her was just superficial and meaningless.

I force myself with all the strength I can muster to slow the moment and pull from the kiss. It's the opposite of everything I want to do but I have too. I didn't bring her here with the intention of this and I know if we don't stop now I won't be able to control myself and things will go further than they should.

"Madge…"

She ignores my voice and brushes her own lips over my chest and tightens her grip on my waistband. My breath catches and I almost forget that we need to stop. But I do remember. I pull her back from me but keep my hands on her arms and my forehead on hers..

"Madge. It's so easy to loose myself with you. I don't want us to get too carried away. Well, I want us too but I know we shouldn't." I say.

I swear she's blushing but in the darkness of night I can't really tell. "Fine." She says with that adorable pouty face she can make. I lean in and kiss her bottom lip, making her smile again. "Ugh, fine, fine, fine. You're right and I know it. I don't like it one bit but I know it."

"Besides, I'm supposed to be teaching you to swim." I say as I go deeper into the water, pulling her with me as I do. I feel her tremble a little as we get out where her feet no longer touch the bottom. " C'mon, I'll teach you how to float. You'll love it,"

She's a natural in the water. You'd never know this was her first time swimming. In less than an hour she's comfortably splashing around and has mastered floating on her back. She's able to tread the deeper water easily and is no longer trembling.

"This is the most fun I've ever had! You can't do anything like this inside the district." She says as she dips her head back into the water.

"Yeah, I love it here."

"I've never been out in the woods before." She says in a low voice.

"Kinda figured that. I wasn't sure I should bring you out here but when you mentioned the heat I thought about the lake and I just had to show it to you. Had to bring you here. Sorry it was such a long walk."

"I'm glad you did. And I didn't mind the walk. I like just being with you. Like today, at your house with your family. I never get to have fun like that. I never get to be a part of things like this."

"You aren't at all who I thought you were. I've had the wrong impression for so long. And I feel so stupid for not seeing you differently sooner."

She shrugs and says "It's not like I can blame you. Part of what I do everyday is put on a façade, create an illusion that shows me only as the Capitol would want me to be seen. And I'm very good at it."

"But why? I mean obviously you have to think about the Capitol, we all do, but why do you care so much? Wouldn't being the mayor's daughter give you a little more freedom than other people?"

"No. It's the opposite actually. You see, I have to set the example. Everyone knows who I am and they pay attention. If I were to do anything that even remotely gave an impression of rebellion not only would I be punished but so would my family and eventually our district."

" I never thought about it like that. Just always assumed you had more leniencies from the rules than the rest of us. Figured you could have anything or do whatever you wanted."

"Sometimes it feels like I have the least freedom of anyone. I don't even get to pick out my own clothes Gale. The Capitol does that for me. In fact, the very first and only outfit I've ever purchased was my overalls for gardening. And I won't be able to wear those in town."

"That's insane. But if it makes any difference, I really liked how you looked in the overalls." I say shaking my head. I always pictured her as a princess of the Capitol but she just their doll, their puppet.

"Didn't think you were paying much attention to me that day." She teases.

"Oh I noticed you. And I'm pretty sure I caught you noticing me a few times that day." I tease right back remembering how she'd stared at me when my shirt was off.

She puts her hands over her face in embarrassment and laughing. "I couldn't help it!"

"Totally understandable." I say with joking arrogance and a giant grin plastered across my face. She responds by splashing me. I loop my arms around her waist under the water and dunk her for it. When she comes back up she's sputtering lake water and laughing like crazy. It's so good to see her laughing.

"It's getting really late. We need to start heading back." I tell her knowing she doesn't want to hear it anymore than I want to say it.

"I don't want to go back. I just want to stay out here forever. Out here everything feels lighter, easier. Like I can actually breathe for once. Like I'm able to just be me."

"I know. That's how I feel out here too. We'll come back, I promise."

She begrudgingly follows me back to shore and out of the water. We sit on the grass for a bit so we can dry off before hiking back through the woods. She's lying back, propping herself up on her elbows. My shirt is long on her but the way she's leaning back makes it ride up a little and shows off her legs. It makes me remember the time in the meadow when I was dreaming about her. Oh how badly I'd wanted to touch her legs that night as she stood there in that short, ruffled nightgown. The mere thought of it causes me to reach over and run the tips of my fingers down the side of her thigh. That same feeling stirs in me now as she lays there in nothing but my t-shirt. She inches closer at my touch and in an instant our lips have found each other again.

Her lips trail off of mine and travel to my neck and collar bone while her hands never leave my chest. I lay back in the grass, pulling her to lay on top of me as I do. My hands run down her back and find the curve of her hips. I can't peel my lips away from her. They press along her cheek and down along her neck. They're just behind her ear when I realize that we're back where we were earlier, that we're about to be going further than we should. I want too, want her so badly but I know we can't. Know we shouldn't. Not now. I force myself to take a deep breath and then move us to a sitting position. Her legs end up straddling me as she's now sitting in my lap, arms around my neck.

"We have to stop." I tell her with obvious remorse tingeing my voice.

"I know." She says quietly as her face falls a little and eyes look to the ground.

"C'mon, let's get you dressed. Still got a long walk ahead of us." I tell her as I pull us to our feet and hand her the blue dress that she discarded earlier.

I turn around to give her privacy to change clothes and once she's finished, she takes my hand and we head back into the woods. I hate that we have to walk so far. The lake was worth the hike but I know she isn't used to this much walking. At night. In the woods. She never seems scared though and keeps a decent pace. As we walk back we talk a little this time. She tells me about her mother and I listen as she describes in detail what few pre-sickness memories she holds of her. I tell her about how my father taught me to hunt and about how scared I was after he died. She tells me about her father, how he stays so busy with work that she barely ever sees him and even then it's either at an official function or just in passing. From what she tells me, it sounds like Mabel is the only person she ever really interacts with. I feel a huge sense of guilt for all the times I was rude to her, all the times I thought she had it made easy. I start to try and apologize to her but she won't have it. Madge and her loving, forgiving heart won't even let me begin to apologize. To her, it's as if it never happened in the first place. This girl is amazing. I am totally falling for her.