A/N: Alright, this was a difficult one to write. I hope that I did okay. Review and let me know? Thanks! Also, thanks so much for reviewing and putting this on your favorites and alerts lists. You have no idea what it means to me.
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.
Bella's POV
Edward stopped in front of a room, and I saw that the name plate read "Renee Dwyer". I took a deep breath and Edward squeezed my hand.
"Um, would you mind if…"I trailed off, but he nodded in understanding.
"Of course, love. I'll just be in the waiting room making calls, come find me if you need me, or when you're ready to leave" he informed me gently, kissing me lightly on the forehead. I smiled in thanks and took a deep breath, reaching for the door. I saw that she was alone, and I was thankful for that, but I wondered briefly where Phil had gone. Her eyes were focused on the TV that hung on the opposite wall of her bed. She looked…different. I opened the door and took a timid step inside. She didn't look as sick as I had imagined. That was the hardest part about it. I've had friends loose parents before, and they said that death was welcomed at the end because their parents had just looked so sick. But she looked fine. Tired and feeble, yes, but not as ill as I had expected.
"Hey baby," my mom whispered. I guessed that her voice was too weak to speak, as was mine. I smiled shyly and continued to walk slowly over to her. I kicked off my shoes and climbed into bed with her like I had when I was little. She wrapped her arms around me and held me for awhile. I had to fight the tears away, not wanting this moment to end. I didn't care, in this moment, that my mother was sick and in the hospital. I didn't care that she had lied to me. I just wanted things to stay like this. I wanted to freeze time. I was, however, torn. I wanted answers. I wanted to know why she had lied and refused treatment. I needed to know. But I didn't want to ruin the moment and upset her. My mom kissed my hair.
"As soon as Phil comes back from the cafeteria, I promised that I would talk to both of you and tell you, honestly, what's been going on. I'm so sorry that I put both of you in this position, but I won't apologize for my decision. I believe it was the right decision for me. If I could go back, I wouldn't change a thing." She told me, breaking the silence. I just nodded. I couldn't speak.
A few minutes later, Phil came through the door with a cup of coffee. He looked exhausted. I gave him a sympathetic smile, which he returned. I scooted as far over to my side as I could, and he slipped in behind my mother, holding her in his arms. This bed was incredibly too small for three people, but it was one of the most precious, intimate moments of my life and I knew that I would treasure it for the rest of my life.
"So, I promised both of you some answers," my mom said quietly. Both Phil and I nodded, but didn't say a word, allowing her to do all the talking.
"I was diagnosed with Stage 1 breast cancer about a week before Charlie got sick." I had to hold back a gasp. "I had gone in for a routine check up and my results were abnormal. I didn't think much of it then because so many of my friends have gotten the 'abnormal results' phone call and it turned out to be nothing. But deep down I knew that it was cancer." She paused, evaluating both of our expressions. We were both shock that this had been going on so long. I couldn't help but wonder how she was still alive.
"I lost my mother when I was sixteen to cancer and I vowed that I would never die sick like she had. I guess I'd known then that I was doomed to cancer…But either way, I saw my once energetic and fun mother slowly die in front of my eyes, and I promised myself then that I would never make my family watch me slowly waste away. I do not want to go through radiation and chemotherapy. At this point, it would only decline my quality of life for the remainder of the time I have left. I went to see an oncologist that I hoped had no connections to the Carlisle. He'd been helping Charlie, so I made sure to drive awhile out of the city. We discussed my options at length, and I explained my reasons for declining treatment. He told me to take a few days to seriously think about it and talk it over with my family, but I never did. I mean, I thought about it, but I didn't tell anyone. I didn't want this getting back to you, Bella. I thought I'd succeeded, but he showed up at your engagement party. I wanted to let him know that I hadn't told my family so he wouldn't tell anyone, but I didn't see the treat. I know that doctors are held to tight confidentiality laws, so I assumed he wouldn't bring it up. I didn't know it, but he was a good friend of Carlisle's and I guess he let my diagnosis slip to Carlisle because not three days later Carlisle came to me and begged me to let them help me, as they had helped Charlie, but I adamantly refused. Things after that were pretty uneventful. I was in a little pain, but nothing aspirin couldn't help. Eventually, a few days ago it became unbearable. I didn't want to go to just any doctor for pain medication, because I didn't want to be lectured again. I didn't want to feel like a bad mother and a bad wife for making this decision on my own. I knew I had two options. Carlisle and Edward. Carlisle would have been the easy choice, but I picked Edward. I don't know why…the psychologist that came in here thinks that my subconscious wanted to tell Bella. I knew he couldn't have kept a secret from you Bella, no matter how hard I begged. He acted as I thought he would. But anyway, Edward sent in Dr. Whitekettle, who was very kind. He accepted my explanation and refusal of treatment and was the first doctor to actually understand my decision. We talked, at length, about how to keep me comfortable. I'm being discharged from the hospital as soon as this 72 hour hold is up." She finished, looking back and forth between Phil and I. I looked up at Phil and he had tears cascading down his face, mirroring my own. I was completely speechless.
"Renee, Bella and I will talk to the doctors. We're taking you off the 72 hour hold. Now that we understand what's happening, we'll help get you released". Phil said, breaking the deafening silence. I just nodded, unable to look at either of them. After another few minutes, Phil shakily broke the silence once again.
"Bella, why don't I go find Renee's doctors and talk to them about getting Renee discharged as soon as we can." Phil said, slipping out of bed. I nodded in thanks, glad to have some time alone with my mother. I slipped out of the incredibly uncomfortable bed too.
"Please do, I don't know how she's in that thing very long," I said with a shake of my head. Phil and my mother laughed weakly. Once he left, I took my mom's hand in mine again. She ran her free hand through my hair.
"My darling Bella," she whispered. I kissed her hand.
"Please don't be mad at me," she choked.
"Mom, I'm not mad at you". I said quickly, my voice breaking. "I understand, Mom, I really do. I just…" I shook my head, unable to finish my sentence. I was unable to hold back my tears any longer and I allowed them to fall freely down my face.
"I'm just really going to miss you, mom," I choked out before letting the sobs consume me. I crawled back up into bed and into the safety of my mother's arms. She held me tightly and cried with me. Several minutes later, when I had gotten control of myself, I looked up at her, wanting to memorize her. Every facial expression, every smile, and every wrinkle. She cupped my face in her hands.
"Baby, I'm okay. I've been reading up on it, and Heaven…it's a really great place." She smiled, thinking she was calming me, but the talk of an afterlife scared me. That meant she'd no longer be here.
"Are you scared?" I choked out, unsure if I wanted the answer to my question or not. She thought for a moment, and I saw a few more tears escape her eyes before she answered.
"I'm only scared of what I am leaving behind, and a little of what I am going to miss." She admitted. "But Bella," she pulled my chin up, forcing me to look at her. "I will always be with you, I'll never be far away. When you get married, and have babies…I'll be there. Maybe not the way I want to be, but I'll still be there." She assured. It was oddly comforting. "Edward is a good man, Bella. When I told him, he was so angry with me. He broke down, begging me to tell you. He didn't want to keep a secret from you. Be good to each other." She commanded, soliciting a laugh from me.
"Actually mom, Edward and I decided to move up the wedding. He said we could do it as soon as we wanted to." I told her. She smiled at the prospect.
"I'd love nothing more."
Edward's POV
As soon as I left Bella, I called her boss and explained the situation. Her boss was incredibly understanding, and said Bella could take all the time she needed. He also said that she could withdraw from the program or write from home if she'd like. I was relieved that he was so great about it. She didn't' need stress from that on top of all of this. Once my phone call ended, I saw my mother and Alice walking quickly towards me, both visibly upset. My mother took me tightly in her arms and held me for a moment. She was shaking, giving away that she was crying. I tried to comfort her, but I couldn't do much, because there wasn't a whole lot anyone could do to comfort me right now.
"How is she, Edward," Alice asked, peering around our mother. My mother released me, leading us over to a few chairs. I sank into one, putting my head in my hands. My mother rubbed my back in comfort.
"She's…I don't know," I said honestly, shrugging my shoulders.
"What do you mean you don't know?" Alice pressed. I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration.
"Because, I don't. She's Bella. She seems fine. She's had a few breakdowns, but nothing major. She's…she's Bella." I said exasperated. How was I supposed to know how Bella was? I couldn't relate to her. This was unchartered territory. My mother was fine and sitting next to me. Bella's was down the hall. Every moment, her mother got closer to death. Renee didn't have long. I knew that from her scans. When my father held it to the light I saw a large tumor on her lung that wrapped around her heart. She had six weeks at best.
Just then, a distraught Phil emerged from Renee's room and sauntered over to us sadly, brushing the tears from his eyes.
"Edward?" he asked, his voice cracking. I stood.
"Yes?" Please let Bella be okay. Well, as okay as she could be in this situation.
"Bella and I have talked with Renee, and we'd like to get her discharged from the hospital as soon as possible." He told me quickly. I nodded in understanding and went off to find Dr. Whitekettle and my father without another word.
"Oh, and Edward?" Phil called quietly. I spun around on my heel.
"Yeah?"
"Would it be alright…if Renee and I, you know, crashed with you? Just until we can figure all this out? I mean…" I cut him off right there. I could tell he felt guilty asking me this.
"Phil. Please do. Stay as long as you want. I'd prefer it actually. Renee shouldn't be traveling, you know, in her condition." I said, wincing at my choice of words. Phil didn't bat an eyelash. He just smiled and nodded in thanks, and then my mother began talking to him softly. I saw Alice huddled in a corner chair, looking scared. She glance my way and I nodded my head for her to follow. Her eyes brightened slightly and she jumped out of the couch and ran over to me.
She followed me to Carlisle's office and I filled her in on what was going on as best as I could. She just nodded and kept whispering "poor Bella". My father and Dr. Whitekettle were surprisingly on board with releasing Renee, especially after I told them that she'd sat down with Bella and Phil and was honest.
"I called Rose and Em. Mom, Dad and I are staying there. They didn't want to come today and overwhelm Bella, but Rose went over and cleaned your apartment really well for Renee. She said the guest room is all ready." Alice informed me. For once, the excitement was missing from her voice and her eyes were wide and frightened. She stopped in the middle of the hallway and grabbed my arm tightly to stop me.
"Edward, promise me you'll take good care of Bella. She's been through a lot, and I feel like once she looses Renee she might try to push her away, but please, please don't let her." Alice begged, tears slipping out of her eyes. I was surprised by her plea. I pulled her close and promised that I'd take good care of Bella. I tried to push away the sudden fear that I felt. Alice always had a sixth sense about things, and it made me nervous that she was this afraid for Bella and I.
Several hours later, we'd sprung Renee from the hospital and went back to our place. We helped Renee change into comfortable pajamas that Alice had brought over and got her settled in bed. I brought her some water and handed her the pills for pain. My father had gotten her samples of medicine to hold her off until we could get her prescription filled in the morning. He'd given her a pain pill and a mild sleeping pill. She took them willingly and ten minutes later she was fast asleep. Phil took a quick shower and went to bed as well. I was relieved to be alone with Bella now. She'd been quiet since she'd gotten to talk to Renee alone, but she truly seemed better after she got out. She was devastated, of course, but not like I thought she'd be. When I found her in our room, she was pacing, still fully clothed. I closed our door softly behind me and went over to her, taking her into my arms. She pressed her head into my chest and held onto me tightly for a moment.
She moved her arms, tightening them around my neck and stood on her tiptoes to kiss me. It started gentle and slow, but it slowly turned into one of the more passionate kisses Bella and I had shared. I lifted her off the ground gently and carried her to the bed without breaking the kiss. I layed down gently on top of her, moving my arms benethe her so I could prop up on my arms so I wouldn't crush her with my weight. She pulled away after several minutes and looked lovingly into my eyes. She smiled softly and played with a strand of my hair.
"Edward, if I tell you something will you promise not to think less of me?" she asked nervously. I smiled and leaned down to kiss the tip of her nose.
"Of course love. You could do nothing to make me think less of you." I told her honestly. She nodded and took a deep breath.
"Edward, will you make love to me? I need to…I need to". I stopped her by kissing her softly on her lips.
"Love, you don't need to give me a reason,"
"But-I don't want you to think…" I cut her off again.
"Shh, love. I know."
And I did know. Bella wanted to be intimate and feel close to me.
Bella moved her legs to either side of my waist. I broke the kiss to lift her shirt over her head. She sat up slightly to unbutton my shirt. Her abdominal muscles strained underneath her creamy skin as she worked down the buttons. Once she'd had it unbuttoned, she slipped her small hands through the shoulders and helped me shrug out of it. Then, she helped me out of my pants, and I helped her out of hers. She laid back down on the bed, but I kneeled between her legs and took in the sight of her. She was breathtakingly beautiful. The longer I stared at her nearly naked, perfect body, the more she blushed. I gently moved to hover over again, holding myself with one arm. The other arm ghoasted across her skin. I ran my hands over the soft skin of her tight stomach, up to her ribcage, brushing my fingers across the underwire of her bra. I traced her bra strap around her ribs and behind her, feeling for the clasp. Once I found it, I unhooked it and pulled it off, discarding it on the floor. I pulled away from the kiss to look into her eyes, making sure this was really what she wanted. All I saw in her eyes at this moment was her love for me, and it was very nearly overwhelming. I ran my hand through her hair and smiled down at her.
"I love you," I whispered, leaning down to kiss her forehead.
"I love you too," she said, running her hands up and down my chest.
"You still okay with this?" I wanted to make sure she was still okay. She just nodded. I cupped her breast in my palm and felt her nipples harden beneath my skin. I kissed along her jaw line and down her neck. She whimpered softly. I hooked my fingers through her black lacy panties and pulled them down her long legs, throwing them on the floor. I crawled back up her body, kissing her clavicle bone. She rested her hands on my shoulders. I slowly slid back down her body. My erection was growing painful now, but tonight was not about me. I kissed down her chest and down the valley between her breasts before working my way over to her nipple. I circled each of them with my tongue before sucking it into my mouth. Her back arched in response. I kissed down her abdomen and spread her legs open further. She whimpered again, this time in anticipation. I kissed up the inside of each of her thighs before finally kissing her clit, opening her with my fingers. She squirmed, trying to hold back her moans. I nipped at her clit and her fingers went into my hair, before falling to her sides. I moved my arms under her legs, placing one hand on each of her hips to anchor her to the bed.
"Edward, please baby…" she cried. My tongue darted into her wet core and she rocked her hips against my face. I moved my hands from her hips to hold both of her hands as I sucked on her bundle of nerves. I licked my way back up to her clit and moved my fingers inside of her, pumping my fingers in and out quickly. I could feel that she was on the edge, so I curled my fingers slightly, sending her over the edge. I stayed where I was, watching her ride out her orgasm. Once her breathing had returned to normal, she smiled seductively, moving her legs slightly. I began to move back up her body and she hooked her toes through the waist band of my boxers and pulled them down. I kicked him off and hovered over her again, kissing her passionately. She wrapped her legs around my waist and pressed her hips into mine.
"Please baby, I need you inside of me…" she whimpered, holding her body tightly to mine. I was only too happy to fulfill her wish. I gently entered her, and we both moaned into our kiss. I pumped slowly, gently in and out of her until she moved her hips with mine. She looked into my eyes and cupped my face in her hands.
"Baby, it's okay, I'm fine…please…faster…" she moaned, her hands going to my shoulders and then down my arms so she was holding each of my wrists that were on either side of her head. My thrusts quickened in pace, and both of us were trying incredibly hard to hold back our moans of pleasure. I wasn't going to last long, I tried my hardest to hold out. I leaned down to kiss her.
"Edward…baby…I'm close…"she moaned against my lips. I felt her walls clench down around me.
"It's okay sweetheart, let go". The moment the words left my mouth, we both reached our climaxes together. I fell into a heap ontop of her, gasping for breath. She wrapped her arms around me, holding me tightly. I went to roll off of her; she was so tiny, I didn't want to crush her.
"No," she whispered in desperation. "Please, don't go," I was alarmed by her plea.
"Baby, I'm not going anywhere, I just was going to roll over; I don't want to hurt you," I comforted. She held me tighter.
"Not yet."
"Okay," I whispered to her in assurance, staying where I was.
After a few moments, her hold on me tightened, letting me know she was okay. I smiled down at her to make sure, and she returned her smile with a slight nod, kissing me quickly on the lips. I pulled out of her and both of us groaned at the loss. I moved us underneath the covers. I opened my arms to her and she settled back into my arms, resting her head on my chest.
"Thank you, Edward. I love you so much." She whispered, kissing my chest.
"I love you too." I kissed her hair. She looked up at me.
"Thank you for today, Edward. You're amazing…with my mom. I couldn't have gotten through it without you." She confessed with a sad smile. I just nodded and kissed her again.
"I love you Bella," I didn't know what else to say. "Now, please go to sleep. You must be exhausted." I tightened my arms around her and hummed to her until she was asleep.
IMPORTANT: So, did I do okay? I wanted to express a lot of love in that lemon, but it was tough. Also, this story is winding down, there are only 5 chapters (ish) left. I need to know if you guys want an epilouge or a sequel. Let me know in a review or PM me. Thanks!
