Episode 27: Total Drama Couples Aftermath Part 6

Aftermath intro plays, with scenes featuring the eliminated contestants.

Edward and Nora

"You never put the key in the ignition." "Which is too bad, because I already made a spike strip to stop you."

Max and Zidane

"I have an idea. Please forgive me." "Forgive you for wha…WHAT THE FUCK?!"

Alice and Ash

"What's the worst that could happen?" "Why do I feel like those are some famous last words?"

Kathryn and Light

"What happened to you?" "Nothing I'd like to talk about."

Intro finishes, and cuts to Geoff and Bridgette onstage. Both of them look pissed at being in the other's presence.

"Hey guys," said Geoff. "I'm…"

"Oh, there you go again, starting the show off," said Bridgette. "Did you ever think to ask if I wanted to open the show?"

"That's because we agreed when we started this that I'd always start," said Geoff. "That's why I…"

"Well, maybe it's time for a girl to take over," said Bridgette. "LET'S HEAR IT LADIES! GIRL POWER! GIRL POWER!" Much to Geoff's dismay, many women began taking up the chant.

"Ugh, why did I even come in today?" muttered Geoff.

"Good question. It's not like you do anything around here anyway," said Bridgette. "Now, we have a big show for you today. That's Gonna Leave a Mark, some never before seen footage, and of course, our Peanut Galler…"

"You forgot Truth or Bitch, because you're still here," said Geoff.

"Yes, I can see YOU'RE still here," said Bridgette. "Now, let's bring out Total Drama's former contestants, shall we?"

"Introducing, Anne Maria," said Geoff. Anne Maria walked onstage, tripped, and landed on her hair. As it hit the ground, it made a metallic CLANG sound.

"Damn it, now I gotta reapply it," said Anne Maria, walking backstage with a can of hairspray in her hand.

"Cameron," said Bridgette. Cameron walked onstage timidly and took a seat as far from the two of them as possible. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"I'm worried the venom you two are spitting at each other might be contagious," said Cameron, still shaking.

"Aww, don't worry kid," said Bridgette in her sweetest voice. "I only direct it at assholes."

"Why aren't you pointing it at yourself then?" asked Geoff.

"Because it locks on to the biggest target," said Bridgette.

Geoff glared at her before continuing the show. "Izzy," he said. Izzy cartwheeled onto the stage, and saw the bitter expressions the two hosts were exchanging with each other.

"Are you two still fighting?" asked Izzy.

"YES!" yelled both of them at the same time.

"Ooh, fun," said Izzy. "I need some snacks. SLENDY! POPCORN! NOW!"

"He still obeys you?" asked Cameron.

"Of course he does. He's my husband," said Izzy.

"He's your WHAT?!" asked Cameron, as a dark tentacle reached out from backstage.

"Your snack, honey," said a ghostly voice projected into their heads.

"That was…unsettling," said Bridgette.

"For you maybe," said Geoff, still visibly shaking.

Bridgette sighed in frustration, then continues the show. "Lightning," said Bridgette. Lightning ran onstage and took his seat, obviously disturbed.

"Sha-what the fuck is that thing backstage?" asked Lightning.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY HUSBAND?!" yelled Izzy.

"Oh, ah…that he's a lucky man," said Lightning backing away from her.

"Damn right he is," said Izzy. "You are too, because I'm letting you live." Lightning just stared at her in horror.

"Okay…" said Geoff, unsure what the say to what had just happened. He decided the best course of action was to ignore it and continue the show. "Lindsay's here." Lindsay walked onstage waving, before tripping over nothing.

"Damn shoelaces," said Lindsay, getting back up.

"But Lindsay, you're wearing heels," said Bridgette. "They don't have laces."

"I know, that's why it's so frustrating when I trip over them," said Lindsay.

"That's…umm…whatever," said Bridgette. "Lorenzo's here." Lorenzo came onstage playing an air guitar, then took his seat with the others.

"MacArthur," said Geoff. MacArthur came onstage and took her seat. "No hard feelings about losing Ridonculous Race to me, is there?"

"What are you talking about? I beat you in that," said MacArthur.

"Oh, not this shit again," said Bridgette. "Please welcome Mike." Mike walked onstage, when suddenly he had some kind of spasm. "Mike are you okay?"

"Darn it, you dumb whippersnapper, I'm not Mike," said Chester, hobbling towards the seating area. "Now, get off my darn lawn."

"Uh…yeah, sure," said Geoff. "Umm…Miles is here." Miles walked onstage, holding a sign that read 'Meat is Murder'.

"Gosh darn it, now I want a steak," said Chester, getting himself a glare from Miles.

"Noah," said Bridgette. Noah walked onstage impatiently and sat down, looking bored.

"Sam," said Geoff. Sam walked onstage, playing a Nintendo Switch. "Jeez, do you ever put that thing down?"

"Shh, I've nearly unlocked Bayonetta," said Sam, sitting down next to Noah.

"I think that answers your question," said Bridgette. "And now, our final Peanut Gallery member for tonight, because we need at least one more, please welcome Mr. Coconut." A coconut with a face drawn on it was wheeled onto the stage by an intern, when someone from backstage spoke up.

"Mr. Coconut? Really?" asked a purple haired Asian girl wearing a white singlet top and cargo pants. "You could at least have an actual human who appeared in the show, even if it was just a brief cameo in a spin-off."

"Nikki?" asked Bridgette. "But I thought Kieran hadn't seen 6teen."

"Oh? And he can't have watched ninety three episodes and a reunion special in the last eleven months since he wrote that?" asked Nikki.

"…Jeez, he works fast," said Geoff. "Okay, you get to stay."

"Damn right I do," said Nikki.

"Hey, don't I get a say in this?" asked Bridgette.

"Weren't you the one just demanding for more girl power?" asked Nikki. "Wouldn't it be great if you had more girls onstage with you then?" Bridgette looked like she was about to object, but couldn't think of anything.

"Ooh, I like her," said Geoff. "Well, let's bring out our first guests, since the quicker we get through this, the sooner I can get away from her."

"Oh, I'm down to just a pronoun now, am I?" demanded Bridgette.

"Jeez, they're really going at it, aren't they?" asked Noah.

"Who cares? This is gonna be fun," said Izzy, her mouth full of popcorn. "Want some?"

"…Sure," said Noah, grabbing a handful.

"That popcorn better be cruelty free," said Miles.

"Of course it is," said Izzy, offering some to Miles. Miles grabbed a handful and began to eat it. "As in, the cruelty comes free with the popcorn." Miles immediately spat out what she was eating. "Also, there's butter on this."

"I fucking hate you," said Miles under her breath, before turning her attention back to the hosts as they finished their bickering.

"Well, here are our first guests, Edward and Nora," said Bridgette. For a moment, nothing happened, then the two guests walked onstage. "Hey guys, how are you…"

"Can't talk now Bridgette, we're trying to get out of this cave," said Nora, walking right past the two of them and off the stage on the other side.

"They know they lost, right?" asked Geoff.

"If they knew that, they'd know one thing, which is twice as much as you," said Bridgette.

"Wow, this is getting intense," Cameron whispered to the others.

"Sha, Lightning didn't come here for all this drama," said Lightning. "Who would think this show would have something like that?"

"…right," said Cameron, as the two hosts continued the show.

"Well, time to bring out the two human animal freaks," said Geoff. "Max and Zidane, out you come."

"You know, you say that like we had a choice in the matter," said Zidane, sitting down in the guest chair.

"Yeah, The Lab didn't exactly give me a consent form. They just kinda forced this on me," said Max.

"Well, whatever," said Geoff, clearly still pissed. "I suppose I should ask how you two are going."

"Well, I'm…" started Max.

"Yeah, yeah, that's great," said Geoff. "Can we move on yet?"

"Sorry about him," said Bridgette. "Apparently he left his good hosting skills at home."

"HA! You admitted I was a good host," said Geoff.

"Sorry, I meant all your hosting skill," said Bridgette.

"GAH!" yelled Geoff in frustration. "Let's just go to That's Gonna Leave a Mark."

"Oh, I'll leave a mark on you," snapped Bridgette, as the giant TV screen dropped down from the roof.

In the first scene, Kenny was falling down the hole he fell down…and landed on a mattress. Kenny sighed with relief…then a stalactite fell on him.

In the second scene, Annabeth and Peter were planning what to do. "Okay, what can we do?" asked Peter.

"I could try singing in a really high-pitched voice," said Annabeth. "We probably won't win, but I doubt we'd be eliminated."

"Okay, let's hear it," said Peter. Annabeth took a deep breath, and began screaming in a really high pitched voice. Blood started dripping out of Peter's ears. "Okay, let's call that Plan B, shall we?"

In the third scene, Light and Kathryn were still tied up. Finn came up and untied them as roughly as possible, making sure they both fell on their faces.

And in the final scene, Light was just looking for how far he threw his ball…when Timmy's ball came flying out of nowhere and pegged him right in the…well, balls.

The TV went back into the roof, to reveal the two hosts were angrily staring away from each other. "Well, at least they're not fighting now," said Lindsay.

"Is…is that an improvement?" asked Lorenzo. "Honestly, I can't tell at this point."

"BOO! This is boring," said Izzy, throwing popcorn at Geoff and Bridgette.

Geoff ignored the popcorn, then sighed heavily. "Alice and Ash, come on out," he muttered under his breath.

Alice walked out onstage, Ash close behind her, but intentionally staying behind. "Hey, what's wrong?" asked Bridgette.

"He's concerned that your fighting is going to go nuclear," said Alice. "And I don't blame him. I've seen some of the potential futures, and…well, let's say it's not pretty."

"Hey, come on, we're not fighting that much," said Geoff.

"Name one thing you've said to Bridgette that wasn't some kind of insult," said Nikki.

"I…err…shut up," said Geoff.

"Idiot," muttered Bridgette.

"HEY!" I heard that," said Geoff. "Don't make me…"

"Hey, how about we go to the never before seen footage?" asked Alice, stepping between the two.

"Hmpf, whatever," said Geoff, as the TV lowered itself from the roof again.

"What was going to happen if you didn't step in?" asked Ash.

"I don't think you'd want to experience death by ping pong ball, would you?" asked Alice.

"Hmm…probably not," said Ash, as the TV flicked to life…and died on them. "Huh, guess Kieran has no idea what he was going to put there."

"You make it sound like he normally knows what he's doing," said Bridgette. "Speaking of people who have no idea what they're doing…" At this, Bridgette looks over at Geoff.

"I know what I'm doing," said Geoff. "I'm bring out our last guests so we can end this shit. Please welcome Kathryn and Light." Kathryn and Light both walk onstage and sit down across from the two of them. "Okay, they've come out, let's end this…"

"Aren't we supposed to be interviewed?" asked Light.

Geoff heaved a huge sigh of frustration. "Look, I would like to get out of the presence of…"

"ENOUGH!" screamed Nikki. "Look, both of you have been awful, and the sooner both of you figure that out, the better."

"But Geoff…" started Bridgette.

"Got understandably frustrated at a fucking bridezilla, yes I know," said Nikki. Bridgette looked like she was about to object, then seemed to think back to the break-up and realised it was true.

"HA! Knew you were in the wrong," said Geoff, looking smugly at Bridgette.

"Oh, don't think you're off the hook buddy," said Nikki. "I mean, it was your wedding too. Why was Bridgette doing all the work? Marriage is supposed to be an equal share in everything, and that includes the hard work, like, say, planning a wedding."

"Jeez, what makes you such an expert in relationships?" demanded Geoff. "I thought that was Caitlyn's job."

"I have to put up with Drumpf supporter Jonesy," said Nikki. "If anyone's an expert in relationships at this point, it's me."

"Whatever, I'm out of here," said Geoff, getting up to leave.

"Oh no you're not," said Nikki, pulling out a walkie talkie. "Caitlyn, Jen, Jonesy, Wyatt, lock the doors."

"What are you doing?" snapped Bridgette.

"You two are working through your issues. Right. Now," said Mike.

"Wait, you're all in on this?" asked Bridgette.

"Honestly, I don't care either way," said Noah. "But Owen does, and he begged me to tell you cut this shit out."

"Yeah, you're both just being really mean to each other," said Lindsay. "Don't you love each other anymore?" As she said this, Lindsay started making a sad face at them.

"Oh, Lindsay," said Bridgette, getting up to comfort her. "Of course I lo…" Before she could finish her sentence, Bridgette stopped herself, as if she didn't want to say the next word.

"What was that Bridgette?" asked Geoff.

"Nothing," said Bridgette too quickly. "I was going to say loathe, I swear."

"No you weren't," said Geoff. "You were going to say love."

"What? No," said Bridgette, turning slightly red. "You're just trying to make it look like I caved first."

"Oh, come off it Bridgette," said MacArthur. "We all heard you. Come on, give our boy the love he deserves."

"Not until he apologises," said Bridgette, trying to get out of this predicament. "And since there's no chance of that…"

"Bridgette, I'm sorry," said Geoff, stunning everyone into silence.

"…you…you're what?" asked Bridgette.

"I'm sorry Bridgette," said Geoff. "I knew you wanted our wedding to be perfect, and I knew you were stressing over how to make it awesome, and I did nothing to help, so I'm sorry. I love you Bridgette, and I hate that all this has come between us."

"Geoff…" started Bridgette, tearing up a little. "I…I'm sorry too. I can't believe what a bitch I was before. Can you…forgive me?"

"Of course Bridge," said Geoff, bringing her into a hug and kissing her, to the cheers of all the Peanut Gallery and the audience.

"Oh no," said Bridgette, pulling away from the kiss in horror. "The celebrant cancelled after he heard we broke up. We'll have to cancel the wedding…"

"Oh no you won't," said Nikki, pulling out her phone. "Not many people know that Jude is a marriage celebrant…"

"No he's not," said Cameron. "That has never come up in canon."

"Good thing this is a fanfiction where we can say that and people will just accept it," said Nikki.

"Thanks Nikki," said Bridgette. "Though I have to ask: why wasn't Jude helping lock the doors? Is it because he's unreliable?"

"Honestly, this walkie talkie doesn't even have batteries in it," said Nikki, showing the empty battery case on the walkie talkie.

"You mean…oh, you magnificent bastard," said Bridgette. "I love you, but…damn, that was clever."

"Well, you saw it here first folks," said Geoff. "Me and Bridgette are back on, February I believe?"

"That's about when Kieran predicts the next Aftermath will be," said Bridgette.

"And that's when we'll see you next, on Total Drama Couples Aftermath," said Geoff, as the stage cut to black.


…0% power

…0% power

…0% power

…1% power

"Here we go," said Chef.