A/N: I hope you all don't hate me for this one. It was due time for a little drama. Let me know. Thank you for your patience with this. Life has been hectic. Oh, and, just so you know, I have a sequel in mind if Casandra won't be too miffed about me taking her ideas and running wild. :) (Check your inbox, C). And, Tracer, I hope this wait wasn't "too long." In fact, I hope it was just right. :)

Enjoy. As always, thank you for the reads, reviews, and patience. DMAA

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Freeze Dried

I stood in front of my vanity, staring at my reflection in the mirror. My hair was curled, my make up had been applied. All that was left to do was to slip on my dress, zip it up, and put on my heels. I even had my stockings already in place and a slip covering my body.

Olivia stood behind me, periodically taking my hair and pulling it up. "I still think you would look amazing with your hair up. Come on, Alex. I know you didn't want to be fancy, but it is a fancy affair." I thought about that for a moment. It was. I had been raised in these kinds of situations, made to act the part, play the part, and dress the part. And, I was very good at my role. But, still, I hesitated.

"Do what you like, Liv," I answered, still staring at the reflection. It was not me I was watching so much as the fact that I was staring into my own eyes. It was admittedly unnerving, but it was kind of enchanting as well. I could see why my friend was concerned. Something was off in my eyes, and I could not explain it. In fact, it concerned me as well. I would not have said that I looked sad, but I did not look happy, either, and it was all one massive inexplicable emotion.

"Alex, what's going on?" Olivia asked, spinning me to face her, breaking the spell.

I blinked. "I don't know," I answered. "I just – every time something good happens, something bad comes along to destroy it. Well, Casey is the best damn thing to happen in my life, and I am so afraid that something bad will happen today. I mean, Casey went blind shortly before the legal wedding. What's going to happen now? I don't know how much more either of us can take."

Olivia placed her hands on either side of my cheeks, directing my eyes to hers. "Nothing bad is going to happen that you cannot get through, Alex. You two are the perfect couple. You deserve this. You deserve to be happy with your wife, Alexandra. And, you have several of us who are willing to help you with whatever we can."

"I know," I said. "I want life to be exceptional for us both, but it has not been my experience." She nodded. She knew my history, perhaps not as well as Margaret considering she had known me as a child, but Olivia knew it well. She, more than even Casey, knew about my fears and hesitations.

Quietly, Olivia wrapped her arms around me, and I let myself melt into the hug. Normally, I did not like physical contact, but I had needed it in that moment. "You deserve this, Alex. You deserve the happiness and the love. You've more than proved yourself worthy."

"Thank you, Olivia," I murmured, squeezing her quickly before pulling away. I pulled on the dress that Margaret had helped me to pick out. She was the only person who had known what both Casey and I were wearing, and I was a little worried she may have done something well intentioned but not really me or Casey-esque and picked matching or correlating outfits.

For me, I was wearing all black – Casey had idealized the white wedding dress notion, and I was happy to oblige. Really, it was Casey's day, not mine. My dress was long sleeved and high cut against my chest. The hem of the skirt portion ended mid-calf, and I had a pair of black boots that I wore to complete the look. With my hair down and small sparkles twisted into the strands, I looked a little like an evil queen.

At any rate, it stopped Amanda in her tracks when she came in to pick Olivia and myself up. Her mouth kind of worked a little as her eyes looked me over. With my back straight, my gaze fixed, and my lips set just so, I knew I was a picture of power. It was not my first rodeo. I could manipulate my appearance. And, I needed the cocky power to get myself over the nerves of the day.

I asked Amanda to drop me off at the back of the church. I wanted to avoid Casey's parents for just a moment while I slipped in and added something that was a final touch. One of the sisters saw me approaching the back door and opened it up. "Alex, what are you doing back here?" she asked.

"I needed to do something," I said, slipping in. I glanced around. "Where's Casey?"

"It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding."

I smiled. "Well, she can't technically see me, and we're already legally married."

The sister shook her head. "Well, in that case, she's down the hall, third door on the left. Her mother just walked out. But, if I know Maggie, she'll be back soon."

Nodding, I slipped into the indicated room.

"Ma?" Casey called sitting up straighter. I did not say anything, only crept closer to her. "Alex?"

"How did you know?" I murmured, brushing my fingers through her hair. She looked amazing, as she always did. But, there was something about her as she sat there in her lace and silk dress that just had me captured. The red of her hair stood out phenomenally, and her lips looked like perfect impressions on her pale skin.

"You walk a certain way," she answered, reaching up and taking my hand. "Are you ready? I mean, I know we're already married, but -"

I silenced her with a finger to her lips. "I'm ready. This covers all our bases. But, I wanted to give you something." I took her hand and held it out, palm up. She stayed perfectly still as I pressed a hair clip into her hand. She felt it, her fingers gently working over the polished stone of the petals, the soft feathers of the leaves, and the metal that made up the stamen of the flower clip.

"It's a lily," I whispered, "but, it's blue. It's blue like the sky or a crystalline lake on a perfect day. It's soft but sturdy. And, I know you wanted something blue."

She smiled up at me. "Where did you get this?" she asked, her fingers dancing over it.

"Careful," I murmured, picking it from her fingers and securing it in her hair. "It's fragile. I had it made. I wanted you to have something that belongs only to this day. It's one thing to tell a judge that I want to be with you forever, Casey. It's another thing entirely to tell God."

She flashed me a soft smile. "Thank you, Alex. It's reasons like this that I love you a little more each day."

I smiled, wrinkling my nose, though she could not see it. "I'll see you out there, then," I mused. "I'd kiss you, but your mom would kill me if I ruined your makeup."

Casey laughed. "Yes, she would. Go before she comes back. She'll probably kill you if she finds you back here."

Agreeing, I hurried from the room and rounded back around to the front of the church where I met with Olivia and Fin who were going to stand beside me in the wedding. My uncle had agreed to stand with me as well because I had wanted at least one family member with me and I had thought asking my father might be a little strange. Claire, Elizabeth, and Rachel had all agreed to be Casey's bridesmatrons since they were all married.

"Alex, there you are," Margaret said as she saw me approaching. "You look amazing. We have a few minutes before our guests start to arrive. Do you have any last minute needs?"

I shook my head. "Wait. There's one." I gave her a warm hug. "Thank you, Maggie, for making all of this so special for me and Casey. I can't possibly thank you enough."

Margaret returned my hug. "Oh, honey. It's what we do for family. You'll understand soon enough, especially now that you have such a massive family." I smiled but said nothing, always unsure of what to say. The Cabots had loved me, that was certain, but we were not the traditional family by any means. And, we certainly did not qualify as large by any stretch of the imagination. Speaking of, I turned around looking for my own father and uncle, the only family I had bothered inviting. They had not yet arrived, but I brushed it off, figuring they would arrive later.

"Everything looks great," Fin mused. "I guess we just wait now, huh?"

"Yeah," I mused. Margaret would likely spend the next half hour to an hour flitting around making sure people arriving were comfortable and in the right spots as well as making sure Casey and I were truly ready. In the mean time, Olivia, Fin, and I took the opportunity to sit around one of the rooms at the chapel and talk about everything from work to sports to politics, erring on the lighter side of the latter.

I had no idea what Casey and her sisters were up to, but I could not get the image of her out of my head. She looked like a Victorian doll in the chair, so utterly perfect and beautiful. I found myself regularly smiling at the notion that she was my wife. Smart, funny, compassionate Casey whose beauty of soul was reflected outwardly as well. But then, it was her soul that made her the most beautiful.

Eventually, Casey's mother came in and ushered us all out to the back of the pulpit where we walked through a little door to stand on the side traditionally reserved for the groom. Olivia stood beside me while Fin and my uncle waited to be part of the march. I had not seen my father, though, and I glanced around for him. He did not stand out, but then, it would not be like him to sit in the front row. It was not that he was not accepting of me – he had given me more than enough encouragement when it came to asking Casey to marry me. He just did not like such things. I did not blame him.

Sighing, I gave a quick smile to my friends, my head turning down the aisle as the traditional wedding march began. I watched Rachel walk down the aisle with Maura, Claire's youngest daughter who had so badly wanted to be the flower girl. Maura threw out a handful of flower petals from her basket before getting too nervous and throwing all of the petals out of the basket. She set the wicker down and ran straight down the aisle. I bent down and caught her, holding her in my arms as a few people laughed.

I held her on my hip, whispering for her to watch for her Aunt Lizzy and her Momma, escorted by Fin and Uncle Bill respectively. She brightened immediately when she saw Claire, but she stayed firmly on my hip. I told her to look for Aunt Casey, and when Casey did enter on her father's arm, it was not just my breath she took away. Beside me, Fin breathed a soft, "wow."

"She's pretty," Maura whispered to me.

"Go stand with your Mamma, Maura," I murmured, setting her down. She trotted over to hold onto Claire's skirts just as Tony stopped at the end of the aisle.

"Who gives this woman to be married?" the priest asked, and I suddenly realized I had never been to a church wedding before. I had seen snippets on television as part of a show and heard Casey talk about them, but I had never witnessed one. If it had not been for our rehearsals, I would not have known what to expect.

"I do," Tony answered. "Her father."

The priest nodded, and Tony placed Casey's hands firmly in mine as though her was placing something very precious into my care. And, in a way he was, but instead of a something, it was a someone, and that made Casey even more precious. I rubbed the backs of Casey's fingers with my thumbs. She gave me a soft smile.

"I love you," I whispered. I reached up and pushed her hair behind her ear, gently cradling her face. "Thank you."

She bit her lip, blinking rapidly. "I love you, too," she whispered back.

I tried to listen to the priest talk about what it meant to be married and the kind of devotion a marriage took and how it was not a disposable thing. But, I could not stop thinking about how lucky I was to have met Casey when I did. I could not stop thinking about how she had made me better. In a way, she had healed me before I had even known I was broken.

She gave me this soft smile, brushing her fingers over my cheek. I glanced to the priest as he announced that we had our own vows to exchange. I took a deep breath. "Before God," I whispered. Casey smiled, nodding slowly.

"I was not a great person," I said, addressing Casey but in a manner that said I was addressing everyone. "I was not bad, but I was not great. I would be willing to say I was not even good. I didn't take the time to appreciate the amazing beauty around me, but that changed with a, a dare. When I met you, no light bulbs went off. There were no sirens in my head. I thought when I fell in love, it was going to be instant. But, it wasn't. It was gradual, but it was safe and warm and comforting. It was terrifying, too, when I stopped and considered just how I was falling for an amazing woman who put every ounce of her soul into seeing the beauty, making the world better. I would still be a cold, frigid Ice Queen if it wasn't for you, Casey. You opened up my world, and in so doing, you brought down my walls. You made a space for yourself inside my heart, and there you'll forever stay. I want you to know that no matter what, I will be there for you. I want to be the one you turn to when you wake up in the middle of the night, confused and afraid. I want to be the one you celebrate every little – and every big – success with. I want to be the one you wake up next to every morning. I want to see your smile and and taste your kiss and hear your laughter. And, I want to do anything in my power to protect that sound. So, today, when I say 'I do,' know that I'm saying that I do want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Casey smiled, but I was close enough to see the tears rolling down her face, and I gently reached over and pushed them away. She caught my hand in hers, cradling it to her chest. "When I met you, I thought 'here's the woman who makes me look like Tarzan.' And, then, I thought 'here's the woman that makes me look like the most incompetent counselor in the entirety of legal history.' And, it's true. You made me look like an idiot. I felt inferior to you. But, I was also broken. And, I think the broken in me saw the broken in you, and I just thought 'I want to fix that.' It turns out, you fixed me a whole lot more than I fixed you. And, in the process of kissing it better and applying emotional band-aids and ointments, and holding me, and visiting me in the hospital, I realized that you had seen more than my wounds. You had seen my heart. More than that, you had it. While you were pretending that we needed more meetings for case work, I was appreciating the attention you doted on me, the knowledge that you were there for me and that you supported me. And, eventually, I thought, 'here's the woman that I want to be with forever,' only I never really thought this day would be possible. I am so glad, Alexandra, that we're here today, that this is real. I could not have dreamed of a better person to share the rest of my life with. So, yes, I do, I do, I absolutely do."

The Father took that as a cue. We had already gone over the fact that we did not want to do the traditional 'in sickness and in health' bit. That kind of already came with the territory. "Since you both very much do," he teased with a paternal smile in both of our directions even though Casey could not see it, "by the power vested in me by God and the State of New York, I hearby pronounce you wife and wife. You may now kiss the br-"

Casey had her mouth pressed on mine before he finished, and I pulled her to me, careful of her dress. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I heard the Father finish, but I was too occupied to really care. "I love you so much," she whispered.

"I love you, too," I replied, and she rested her head against my chest. For several seconds, we just stood like that, gaining our bearings. We had already been legally married, but now, her parents would consider it, too. They did not know we had circumvented the legal paperwork already, but they were very devout in their belief in God and that a vow before Him was more meaningful than a legal vow. Casey was a little more like me – we stuck with our legal doctrines. Though, admittedly, sometimes, they made just about as much sense.

Luckily for us, we were afforded the opportunity to change out of wedding attire and into something a little more classy-conventional. The reception was entirely Casey's family's doing, but Rachel and JR had been the main planners. And, they were the party siblings. We had no doubt at all that there was dancing and drinking involved.

Casey still wore white, and I still wore black, though I changed into a pair of slacks and an off the shoulder, long sleeved top. Always just a little more effeminate than I was, Casey still wore a dress, but it was a white number with a swooping neck line that ended just above her knees with sparkles sewn in beautifully. I had no idea where she had gotten the garment, but I found her to be absolutely stunning in it.

"You're breathing hitched," Casey whispered as she stepped out of the car at the reception hall, her hand warm in mine.

"You can't blame me," I answered. "You look gorgeous."

She flushed. I leaned over, gently blowing on her cheek before kissing it lightly. "You're cute when you blush," I whispered. She went an even deeper shade of red.

So much of the night was a blur. I filmed her father-daughter dance on my phone, emailing it to myself. It was amazing to watch because I knew neither of them had been thinking it would be a possibility. Even Tony seemed to absolutely light up. And, for the former military man, that was an impressive feet. It brought to light, though, that my own father still had not approached me.

Confused, I sought out my uncle, finding him foreheads together with the sergeant detective. "Olivia, Uncle Bill," I chimed. "May I?" I gestured to the chair near them.

Olivia stared at my uncle for a brief moment. "Actually, Alex, can we step outside a moment?" she asked, reaching out, her hand covering mine. I felt the bottom drop out of my stomach.

"What's wrong?" I asked, feeling panic rise in my throat. Immediately, I looked to Casey who was spinning gracefully in Nick Amaro's arms. Nothing bad was going to happen to her.

"Let's talk outside, sweetheart," my uncle murmured.

Suddenly quite numb, I followed them both outside where Olivia had me sit down on one of the benches by the door. It was fairly quiet. An artificial stream ran into a man-made pond surrounded by rocks and perfectly groomed bushes, but it was still very peaceful.

"Alex, honey, this is about your father," Olivia started. Instantly, I felt myself tear up. Nothing worth going outside to talk about was ever good news. "There was a car accident."

My heart constricted. I pressed my hand to my chest, leaning forward to relieve some of the pain. "What happened?" I whispered. My first thought was to ask which hospital he was at, but that thought quickly diminished from the looks on their faces.

It was my uncle who answered. "He didn't make it, sweetie. I'm so sorry. The paramedics pronounced him with they arrived."

Breathing suddenly became difficult. My vision blurred and my head swam. "Daddy?" I whimpered. "Oh, God, Daddy." The flood gates opened, and I sat there sobbing as Olivia wrapped her arms around me. "When? Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"Sweetie," my uncle answered, "I wanted you to enjoy your wedding, but I knew at the reception you would start to worry. I'm so sorry, honey. If you need to talk to me about anything, you let me know."

And, so, for the second time in my life, I was orphaned.

"Alex?" Casey's soft voice floated over me. It was warm and soothing, and I reached to her, my fingers closing around hers. "What's wrong, baby?" She carefully sat down beside me, her arms draped around my body.

Trembling, I did not even bother to pretend that I was okay. I moved from leaning against Olivia to leaning against my wife, my arms wrapped tightly around her as I began to cry in earnest. She held me tightly, rubbing my back. "Ali, sweetie?" she murmured, leaning back, her thumbs pushing my tears away. "What's going on? What happened?"

I chewed at my lip. "My dad," I whispered. I saw her brow furrow, and I forced myself to compose myself. Licking my lips, I took a deep breath. I glanced to my uncle and shook my head. As much as I wanted to stay composed, I could not tell Casey that my father was dead. Instead, I buried my face back against her neck, just needing someone to be close to me. And, her scent was soothing.

"Casey," my uncle said, and I felt his hand on my shoulder. "Her father passed away tonight in a car accident." I could hear the tightness in his voice, too. My father was his brother-in-law. Other than me, he was the last person tied to my mother, and I had been adopted.

"Alex," Casey breathed, holding me closer to her. "I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so, so sorry."

"He was on his way to the church," I whispered. "It's my fault he's dead."

"No," Casey said, her voice firm. "No, Alex. Don't you dare go down this road. It is not your fault. Anything could have happened today to cause him to pass, but Alex, nothing would have been because of something you did or did not do. God called him home, baby. And, we're going to miss him down here, but he's going to be okay. Alright. I know you don't believe me, but you could not have stopped this. You could not have prevented this."

I just held her tighter. "I shouldn't have begged him to come. He didn't want to. He wanted to stay away from the church. I told him how much it would mean to us, and that's why he came. And, now, he's dead." I knew I was not thinking rationally. I could feel my thoughts out of sync with my norm, but I did not know how to fix it. This was my fault. I knew it was.

"Alex, he would have come anyway. He's your father, sweetie. He loved you. You wouldn't have even needed to ask him. He would have come because you're his daughter. But, even if he hadn't come, something may have happened to him. I'm sorry, baby, that you've lost him. But, it's not your fault."

I cried against my wife until I could not cry any more. We had not been incredibly close, but the relationship we had had been good. It was killing me inside that I had not gotten a chance to say good bye to any of my parents. My biological parents because my father was a murder and my adoptive parents because I had been too wrapped up in my own life to pay attention to theirs. I tried to think about the last thing I had told my father the previous day. Had I told him I loved him? Had I told him I was happy he had been there? Had I told him how grateful I was to him? I didn't think I had, and that was fueling the fire of my guilt.

When I was too numb to keep crying, Casey wrapped her arms about me, kissing my forehead. "Come on, Ali. Let's head home."

"I'll drive you," Olivia said, and I was surprised to find my friend still with us.

Sitting up, I looked at the other two people there, my uncle with tears clinging to his own lashes and Olivia looking concerned. "Thank you," I whispered. "That would be great. I'm sorry, Casey, but I can't be here."

"I understand," Casey whispered. "I want to be wherever you're going to be most comfortable."

"Home," I answered.

My uncle offered me a hand to stand, and I hugged him briefly. "Thank you. Uncle Bill, if you need anything, let me know."

"Only if you'll do the same, Alex. I mean anything." I nodded. He hugged me again. "You don't have to answer now, sweetie, but think about a funeral. If you want to have one and how you want to do it." He brushed my hair behind my ears. "And, if you don't, I can."

Biting my lip, I nodded. He was right. It was something we would have to figure out quickly. "I'll let you know." I wrapped my arm around Casey's waist, still not willing to relinquish human contact, and followed Olivia to the car, my heart heavy and confused.