I'm trying to finish this story, but I'm having some trouble putting words to my ideas.
Chapter 28
Catherine became harder to work with in the time after Sara and Emily's party. Everyone got to feel Catherine's temper. It was faster to flare up than usual. So much so that the lab rats was scarred of saying the wrong thing. And on bad nights that could be anything. There was no way of knowing what would set Catherine off.
At work people tried to stay out of Catherine's way. During her off time, Catherine was the one trying to stay away from everyone she knew.
Gradually Lindsey spend more time at Nancy's and friends.
While Catherine was running away, Lindsey withdrew into herself, the happy child disappeared again.
Catherine was trying to drown her feelings in the companionship of strangers at various bars. Nothing seemed to help and Catherine didn't know how to handle her emotions.
Spending less time sleeping and more time at bars, didn't make work easier. Showing up to work tired and sometimes hungover didn't help Catherine's quick temper. Nor did it make it easier with the increased workload.
In the months after Sara's leaving, Catherine had been heading for a burn out. Her life was slowly spinning out of control. Catherine knew she was in trouble, but she didn't know how to change it. Or even who or how to ask for help. At the same time Catherine stayed away from the people that could actually help her.
rrrr
Lindsey was reverting to the behavior from right after her father died, it worried Nancy more than getting on Catherine's bad side.
Nancy had tried to bring Sara back in Lindsey's life in hope it would help the girl because Sara had helped Lindsey before. But now Lindsey wouldn't even look at Sara.
Nancy hadn't expected Lindsey to have stayed angry at Sara so long, for what Lindsey believed Sara had done. Lindsey didn't know what was happening with her mom, but knew something was wrong. It had started with her mom not wanting to talk to Sara. Therefore in Lindsey's mind Sara had ruined everything with her mom.
Not knowing what had happened, and why her mom didn't want to spend time with her. Lindsey needed someone to blame, and it was easier to blame Sara than her mother.
Lindsey wasn't responding well to anything Nancy did to try to help. Trying to get Sara back in Lindsey's life had only been meet with anger from Lindsey.
Lindsey knew something wasn't right with her mom, but also that she tried to pretend everything was normal.
They didn't laugh together anymore, even the smiles that used to light up her mom's face were lacking. It wasn't that her mom didn't smile anymore, but that the smiles never reached her eyes.
Lindsey tried to be on her very best behavior not wanting to cause her mom any more sadness.
By trying to be perfect the real Lindsey was slowly disappearing inside herself. She became a quiet almost shy girl. Staying alone while in school only talking to her friends when necessary. The quietness didn't last, after having suppressed herself for as long as she could, Lindsey couldn't keep everything inside. That was when it all started to come out as anger. The changes in Lindsey came gradually and it took time before anyone noticed the changes.
rrrr
Emily was thriving with the change in Sara's work hours. She no longer had trouble sleeping, making her more happy and less prone to anger outburst.
Sara had made sure they established a routine when Emily had started school. Sara wanted Emily to feel secure and be able to predict what would happen on a daily basic, but also that Emily would be able to predict Sara's reaction. That was important to Sara, as her parents reaction had been anything but predictable.
So every day after school, the school bus dropped Emily off at the University daycare. Where Emily would spend some time before Sara was ready to leave work. Some days Emily would join Sara in her office.
Sara had made room especially for Emily. They would share the desk, Emily doing homework or drawing, while Sara was doing her paperwork.
Sara made it a habit to not stay late at work. For once in her life she was working regular hours, she left the University no later than 4 p.m. The only exception was Thursdays night when Sara had open office hours, to give students a change to come by with questions. She had an open door policy and every one could come by whenever she was in her office. But her schedule didn't alway match those of her students. It wasn't so bad this semester with her only teaching one course, but it did give Sara time to plan for future courses as well as spend time catching up on what she hadn't had time to in the last six months before stopping as a CSI. Before that Sara had read everything relevant. It wasn't only the obvious journals Sara had a subscription to, but also physics and mechanics. The knowledge from articles had helped her solve cases on occasion. The most bizarre piece of knowledge could sometimes give you the hint to start putting together the evidence for a case.
Even with Thursday night planned for work, Sara made sure to leave in time to get home before Emily's bedtime. Emily still didn't do well spending the night anywhere than at home. But not only that, Sara had to be there to say goodnight, and Emily had to know Sara wouldn't leave.
Sara had tried a few times coming home after Emily was put to bed with Cam babysitting Emily. It had worked well, but Emily had been awake waiting for her mama to come home. It was getting better, but Emily was still scared if Sara wasn't there.
With her new and predictable work schedule, Sara had every weekend off. That quickly became family time. Though Sara's definition of family wasn't just the two of them, but also included Caroline and all her friends.
Sara didn't want to push Catherine and stopped trying to contact her, when the older woman didn't react. Sara didn't want to reach out to someone she thought clearly showed that she didn't want to know her. So Sara did what she always did, she pulled away. Not only from Catherine, but also from Lindsey and Nancy.
Pulling away from Lindsey didn't make much difference as Sara hardly saw the girl anyway. Usually only in passing at Nancy's. And then Lindsey would quickly go to another room if possible, else she just ignored Sara.
Nancy and family was more difficult to pull away from. Sara tried staying away, but that was made difficult because they had slowly become like family. Emily especially didn't want to miss out of what had quickly become a biweekly Saturday breakfast. After their breakfast Jeremy would spend the day and some times the night with Emily and Sara, giving Nancy and Peter some time to themselves.
Both Nancy and Emily refused to let Sara withdraw. Emily couldn't do much, Nancy though, was just as stubborn as her sister, and wouldn't take no for an answer to the invitations.
Sara was uncomfortable, but Nancy for some reason knew how to get through to Sara. Not only did Nancy make Sara feel comfortable, but she also managed to get Sara to talk about why she was pulling away.
Convincing Sara that the need to withdraw from everything connected to Catherine wasn't necessary. And most important not wanted.
Even though Sara wasn't sure what to believe, she was willing to give it a chance, for nothing else Sara would keep coming for Emily's sake.
It was awkward for most of their breakfast. Sara didn't know what to say, without somehow insulting Catherine's family. It didn't help matters that Sara didn't know what she had done to offend Catherine. Though she couldn't figure out what she had done, Sara was certain that it was her that had done something wrong. Not knowing why, was making Sara scared it would also happen with Nancy and Peter, and therefore she preferred to keep quiet.
Emily and Jeremy didn't notice that Sara hardly joined the conversation. They were busy coming up with ideas for Saturday excursions. Sara's silence didn't go unnoticed by Nancy or Peter.
After the look he got from Nancy, Peter tried to draw Sara into a conversation about mechanics. Something they could usually talk about for hours.
That breakfast didn't get less awkward. During the next Saturday's breakfast, Sara gradually became more like herself again.
