Sugar-Coated Accident
Chapter Twenty-Eight
"What Are You Talking About? This Isn't Awkward at ALL."
The café Len and Kaito found themselves was small, but not oppressively so. The interior was tastefully decorated, the tables set to perfection, and young waitresses flitted by in cute costumes – here, a magical girl, there, a… Wait… Was that a Miku cosplayer?
Yes.
Len and Kaito were at a cosplay café.
Teto had recommended the place to Len a while back, gushing about how 'adowable' the outfits were, and how there had been a waitress dressed up as her. According to Teto, it had been like looking into a living mirror, although the cosplayer hadn't quite been able to get Teto's signature hairstyle right. Then again, Len doubted anyone would. Not unless they had five hours to kill, some super-strength curlers and twenty-seven cans of hairspray. How Teto managed her twin drills every day was a mystery wrapped in an enigma.
As Teto said, the café was very nice. It seemed lively, everyone had a smile, and the sweet scent of jasmine tea hung in the air.
Too bad Len didn't notice any of this.
Instead, his attention had been captured by Kaito.
The silence between the pair was so thick it could drag unsuspecting innocents and pull them under. It was almost like quicksand.
Len yawned.
Kaito said nothing.
Len cast his eyes towards the clock.
Kaito said nothing.
Len endured several painful minutes attempting to ward off a rabid fangirl, who was under the false impression he'd whisk her away to Paris on a white horse. She only left when Len, smiling nervously, had apologised, and informed her he already had a girlfriend.
Kaito's fingers seemed to shake at this comment, causing him to draw his hand under the table. Head hanging, blue bangs obscuring his face, Kaito sat. And, rather unsurprisingly, Kaito said nothing.
Not a word.
Len was under the impression he could have punched Kaito in the face and he'd continue to sit there, blinking; saying nothing, doing nothing.
Rather like a corpse.
After about half an hour of this, the blond finally decided he'd had enough. Screw waiting around for Kaito – it was obvious he wasn't going to talk unless prompted. Len was beginning to wonder why he'd dragged Kaito to the stupid café in the first place.
With a sigh, Len reminisced, and wondered when their relationship had ever been so complicated.
He missed those times he and Kaito would go off together, laughing and joking, and Kaito would say whatever stupid thing that first came into his head, and Len would frown and go, "if you don't have anything normal to say, don't speak," and Kaito would grin sheepishly and apologise. Then five seconds would elapse, and Kaito would say something else stupid, and Len would roll his eyes.
That was the way things were meant to be.
Not this.
This horrible, awkward, never-ending silence.
Len drew a breath (Kaito's gaze flicked upwards), composed himself, and then began.
"Well…"
Kaito's piercing blue eyes focused on the younger Vocaloid expectantly. They seemed morose, almost cloudy, as though Kaito were about to…
Len gulped.
It looked kind of like he was going to cry or something – which would, of course, make Len feel like an evil, baby-eating monster. Len might as well stab himself in the chest with a fork, for all the pain he was feeling. So Kaito couldn't cry, he simply couldn't.
Kaito was usually so happy, what with his cheerful, smiles, corny jokes, and the ability to cheer almost anyone up (the sole expectation being Meiko, who would tell him to go jump off a cliff and die. It seemed to be a hobby of hers, for she said it routinely, at least five times a day. If the constant string of abuse towards Kaito stopped, everyone knew she was sick, and phoned for an ambulance).
Where was that happy-go-lucky Kaito now?
"This is nice…" Len finished lamely. His gaze shifted to the tabletop. He felt uncomfortable looking at Kaito.
Kaito blinked, eyes suspiciously watery, before wiping the back of his arm roughly across his face. Giving a weak hiccup, the older Vocaloid also began to stare at the table.
Thus, silence reigned.
Len could hear the other people in the café. It was an excited bubble of chatter, building and building, creating a throbbing pressure at the back of Len's head.
It hurt.
This headache was enough to make him snap.
"God, this is so stupid!" Len suddenly proclaimed, throwing his hands into the air. The gesture was violent, and Kaito flinched. His eyes continue to water, and he gave a small whimper.
"Sorry," the blond apologised, voice softer this time. "I'm sorry, Kaito…" Gone was the customary 'big brother' honourific. It was enough to make Kaito blink in confusion. "But," Len continued, "you're not acting yourself. Normally you're so…" He gesticulated. "And now you're all…" Some more hand gestures. "You're so unhappy."
"I-I…" Kaito's voice was weak, almost inaudible. Len leant across the table. Kaito shifted in his chair, before continuing. "I'm n-not unhappy…"
…Right.
Now if that wasn't the transparent lie to end all transparent lies.
It was even worse than the time Meiko, hurling into the sink with her eyes tearing up, had reassured Miku, "it wasn't your leek treacle pudding, I swear! It was lovely! I'm being sick because I'm… Because I like to be!"
And Miku, princess of pinheads, believed her.
Maybe because she honestly thought Meiko's soul was so good and pure and untainted with alcohol that she would never, ever, not in a million years ever lie to her.
"Kaito," said Len. He pondered whether he should dare risk physical contact, but then decided against it. Perhaps it was too soon... "Kaito, if you're not unhappy then I'm a leek treacle pudding. Which I'm not. 'Least, I wasn't like time I checked."
Unwittingly, Kaito's lips quirked a little at this poor joke.
Len smiled back, a warm feeling creeping up somewhere in his chest.
"Kaito, please tell me what's wrong. Please," said Len, words laden with concern. He leant forwards a little more, closing the gap between him and Kaito.
Kaito's breath caught in his chest, lashes fluttering shut, before he turned his head.
"It's nothing."
"It's something." Len clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. "It's definitely something. I'm the smart twin, remember? You can't fool me."
"R-Rin-san's smart, too…"
"In a demented, evil way, yes. But we're not talking about Rin here. We're talking about you."
"I…"
"Please tell me what's wrong."
"I c-can't…"
"Please?"
"I… I…" A sharp intake of breath. "Oh God."
Kaito blinked furiously, bit his lower lip, clenched and unclenched his fists, but it was all in vain. A wasted effort. Nothing he did could stop the flow of tears. Not when they'd started. Breathing ragged, face tired, skin much too pale to be healthy, Kaito hung his head and cried and cried and cried.
Hastily, Kaito wiped his eyes with his sleeve, burying his face into his hands. The movements were clumsy and uncoordinated, limbs flailing, shoulders shaking, and still the tears continued.
How was such a thing possible?
Kaito couldn't be sad.
But he was.
It was undeniable.
"Don't cry, Kaito…" Len's voice quivered, uneasy as Kaito's fragile emotions. "D-Don't…"
Kaito shook his head. "C-c-can't h-help it… W-won't…" A hiss. "Won't stop. T-think maybe I'm m-malfun… un… unctionin' or… Or something. Uh huhh…" Hiccup. "S-stupid t-t-tear ducts… S-so embarrassing..."
More tears.
"S-so stupid," Kaito continued to sob. His voice was rife with self-deprecation, a twisted sort of loathing. "I'm m-meant to b-be…" Sniff. "B-be strong."
"I don't think you're stupid."
"Am."
Len leant further across the table, his forehead nearly bumping Kaito's. Gently, as though handing a china doll, Len placed one shaking hand on Kaito's cheek. His touch was feather-light and tentative, allowing Kaito the chance to move away if he wanted to.
"You're not stupid, Kaito. You're not."
The older Vocaloid bit his lower lip, seeming to deliberate for a few seconds, before giving in. With a defeated, broken, half-sigh, half-sob, he leant into Len's comforting hand. He then took his own hand, nails complete with chipped polish, and held Len's hand to his face. His cheeks were red, painted with a light flush that was becoming too much of a habit, and his breathing was uneasy and stilted.
But at least he wasn't pushing away.
Quite the opposite, in fact.
Maybe he needed something to hang on to, for comfort. It seemed Kaito was not a person who could face challenges all by himself.
"I…" Kaito blinked, lashes spiky with moisture. Then, in a whisper, he said, "I can't stand it anymore, L-Len-kun…"
It was Len who remained silent this time. He wanted so badly to ask what he was talking about – what was hurting him so much – but didn't.
"L-Len-kun." Kaito stared at the younger Vocaloid through a haze of tears. They were beginning to run down his face and flushed cheeks, like rain on a glass windowpane. "L-Len-kun, I'm s-sorry to bother you l-like this… Heh… I-I'm s-sorry. Bein' pathetic."
"You're not pathetic. I already told you. Hard of hearing, maybe but not…" A sigh. "You're not pathetic to me. You mean a lot to me, Kaito. More than you think." With his free hand, the one that wasn't holding Kaito's cheek, he began to wipe away the stream of tears. It wasn't like in movies, he thought idly. In movies, when people cried, they only shed a tear or two, and besides, it was all fake. It didn't mean anything. And they always looked pretty when they cried, too; really, really pretty.
It would be a complete lie to say Kaito looked any prettier for his tears.
Instead, he looked weak and venerable, face blotchy, sniffling slightly, eyes puffy, nose beginning to run. However, this harsh reality only made Len's stomach twist even more.
Waving goodbye to any sense of dignity (everyone in the café was staring at them. Literally everyone. Even the Hatsune Miku cosplayer), Len got to his feet, crossed the two steps towards Kaito, and pulled him into a tight hug.
Standing, Len was taller than Kaito (for once). He felt stronger, too, and more in control. Holding Kaito around the middle, pressing him lightly to his chest, Len felt he had a duty to protect Kaito. From what, he wasn't entirely sure. But he had to try.
Kaito remained still for a few seconds, save for the sobs still racking his body. Len wondered whether this really was too much – maybe he'd push away? Or, worse yet, leave – but no. No. All Len's fears were for nothing.
"L-Len-kun…"
Kaito returned the hug in a desperate, needy manner, burying his head into Len's shoulder.
"T-thanks…" said Kaito thickly, voice almost inaudible due to tears. "H-heh… I'm s-sorry for bein' s-such a pain, makin' people stare…"
"It's okay," Len smiled warmly, not that Kaito could see him. "You can't help being an insufferable idiot. Bakaito."
"Y-y-yeah… T-that's me… Stupid. So stupid." Another snivel, a hiccup, and Kaito was back to crying again, shoulders shaking. Tears just bled out of his eyes like blood from a wound, refusing to close up or heal, getting worse as time went on.
And Len felt completely powerless to help.
This was his big brother he was hugging so tightly, the person who was meant to be strong and reliable and dependable and – oh, what the hell, since when had Kaito been any of those things really? Kaito was just Kaito. And Len wouldn't have it any other way.
"L-Len-kun…" Kaito sniffed, attempting to compose himself. "Len-kun, when you say I mean a lot to you…" He blinked his red puffy eyes, and looked up at Len. Moisture was glistening on his cheeks, in his eyes, shining under the lights of the café. "H-how much do I mean to you…?"
Len's heart thumped painfully against his ribcage at the unexpected question, before seeming to cease beating altogether.
How much did Kaito mean to him…?
"I mean…" Kaito continued, not waiting for a response. His eyes seemed to bore into Len's; blue on green. "If you like me as much as you like Haku-san, maybe…
"Maybe you'll cry when I'm uninstalled."
a.n: gasp! the plot thickens xD or the general absence of one, i… er… guess? xD daww, it's so incredibly sappy xD but fluff like this is fun to write. hope you didn't overdose on it here or anything xD
as always, thanks to my epic reviewers =D & the people who fave & put this on author's alert. it makes me smile :3
