Chapter 28 - Eric's POV
"Yo Eric, you might want to go to the parlor." Zeke stops me.
"Is it Shane?" I frown and my jaw clenches.
He frowns and shakes his head "Four caught a little something on camera and is causing a big stink over there."
"Fuck of course he is." I growl and head over there. I hear him before I even get in the fucking place.
"You need to fucking leave Tobias. Let her live her life!" Tris is growling to him.
"What so he can just fucking use her? She's too fucking good for him. Why are you taking his side?" He yells.
"I am taking HER side. And if that is who she wants then who are you or I to stay shit? Let her live!" She yells.
"You need to leave Four. Get back to your post." I say coldly.
Four whips around. "What the fuck are YOU doing here? This isn't your business. All you are going to do is fuck and leave her like you do all the other women."
I get in his face. "I wasn't aware you kept such close track of my love life Four. Because if you did maybe you could name the last fucking girl you personally know I had anything to do with?"
"Everyone knows you bang anything that walks Eric." He yells.
"You two! If you aren't going to cut the shit, then move it out of in front of everyone around here." Tris demands and we are herded into Bud's area.
Bud tries to ignore us but Four is just being so fucking unreasonable. I feel myself losing what patience I am trying to keep and then we just start spouting off whatever comes to mind.
I hear the shattering of glass and then Bud gasping.
"Holy Mother of Mary" Bud yells. I snap around to look at him and he is just standing there slack jawed.
"I think you just gave poor Bud a heart attack Raven." Tris said smugly.
I hear the slosh of something and my head snaps around. Holy mother of Mary is fucking right. "It would appear so Tris. Tori, does Bud have a history of palpitations? Do you need to go perform a little mouth to mouth resuscitation on him?" She wiggles her eyebrows and Tori and Bud.
My mind almost snaps. Because I can't process how she is standing there so casually looking like a fucking goddess in this aqua and black lace bra and black lace boy shorts. Whatever image I had of her in a bathing suit doesn't have shit on this. She's just leaning against the doorway with whiskey bottle in her hand and mischievousness in her eyes. The black ink that covers her abdomen, stomach and then swirls in a pattern on her shoulder that looks like the shoulder piece of a knight's armor fits her so well. Going down her wonderfully shaped legs and stopping at her foot. Then the fucking garter with that amazing 3D lace design and the mechanics in the shadows with the gun tucked into the garter is just stunning. She's my perfect match. If I thought I had felt desire for her before I am an inferno right now. All I see is her.
The sound of the world rushing back to regular time happens when I hear my name.
"Or fuck, Eric I think I heard them say you have done tattoos before. Think you can color between lines?" She turns and walks back into the room and I have to follow but for the moment I can only watch her walk away too. The tattoo is fucking amazing but she is even more amazing.
I hear Four still ranting and Tris dragging him off. I also hear Four yelling at George. "I will cut it off George, don't go near her!"
"He is just going to get worse. Maybe I will just go live in a fucking nunnery. But then he would worry what the nuns would be doing to me. Do they even still have nunneries?" She is talking out loud to herself and lying back on the chair as I come in and close the door. I smile slightly still a bit dazed.
"Did you really want me to tattoo you or did you just want to get me out of the way?" I ask quietly and sit on the stool near her.
She shrugs. "I wouldn't mind if you did and I wasn't trying to get YOU out of the way more like make a point to Four."
"Yeah well, point fucking made I guess. Do you mind…" Fuck I need a drink. I pick up the bottle and tip it back, take a few big gulps and then put it down. I shake my head to clear some of the haze of lust away.
"Ok, I am going to try really fucking hard here Raven. But the moment I saw you out there I don't think I know what the fuck was said. So run by me what exactly just happened?"
She smiles with the dimples and the sparkle of mischievousness back and I hold back my groan. I also have to lock down every fucking muscle in my body right now. "I might have called you all boy's throwing tantrums. Then there was the whole ménage trois reference to fuck with Bud…" Nope I can't do that. Can't go there with that conversation because I am about to snap.
I hold up a hand. "Stop! I cannot listen to that word come out of your mouth with you like that. Do you know the things I fucking want to do to you right now?" She swallows and starts to reach for the bottle and I snap out and grab her hand.
"Answer me Raven." I demand.
"Very, very bad things?" She whispers in that voice full of breathy desire and fuck if she is not exactly fucking correct.
I sit in the stool loving the fact that her skin flushes and her mouth dropped open at her own brazen words. But pleased as fuck because she must be thinking the same too. "Couldn't fucking have said it better myself." I murmur.
I had rolled closer and allow myself to take a long leisurely look of her and it doesn't get any less amazing seeing her like this as out there.
I get to her abs and stomach and then I feel the abrupt movement of air and my vest being grabbed as she pulls me in for the most intense kiss yet. I let her take her way before I snap too and I growl and moan into her mouth. I pull her off the chair and into my lap so that she is straddling me. I take over the kiss and bite gently on her lower lip and we both groan when the coppery taste fills us both. I feel her chest pressing against me and my almost painful dick trying to break free.
I pull back and hover my lips, breathing ragged and close my eyes for a second "We have to stop Raven. Not that I don't fucking want too…"
She nods panting. "Four would lose his mind..."
I laugh because that is the furthest thought of my mind. "I don't fucking care about that. I just would rather take my time."
I smirk at her as she swallows. "Sexy as hell one minute and innocent as fuck the next but still while sexy. You're killing me."
"I should be upset by that because?" She blushes and it is killing me to resist her right now.
"You shouldn't." I take a deep breath and close my eyes. "Let's see if I have any amount of self-control before the end of the night." I push up and stand holding her tight to me. Her ass filling my hands and her heat so very close to my dick through the little bit of cloth she has on. "Fuck I did not think that part through."
She laughs a little bit as I lay her back in the chair and then we move to kiss each other again. I force myself to pull away and then collapse onto the stool.
She is laying back, her chest heaving with her bruised lips and beautiful flushed skin. I bite my lip looking at her because this isn't any better either. It looks like I just fucked her but my body is not being fooled by that illusion at all. My entire body has a hard on for her right now.
"Fuck that is even worse because you are laying back there panting, looking for all the world like I just fucked you." I take the bottle and tip it back. "I am going to have to agree with Four and ask that you put at least some pants on for me Raven." God I hate admitting this and she fucking smirks at me.
"A brave man never surrenders Eric." She taunts me and I knew the minute I did that during training it would come back on me. But she had looked so fired up and her normal control wasn't there. I couldn't help myself. I did the same fucking thing I made Four do to Tris. "I knew that was going to come back to bite me in the ass with you."
"Do you really want me to get pants on? I will if you do. I don't see how it would really help I mean I know I have a pretty active imagination and…" She trails off looking over me and licking her lips.
"You what, have imagined me?" I cross my arms over my chest and can't help how fucking pleased I am about that. As much time as I spent thinking about her to know she at least did me too.
"You encroached on my training time in the gym one night and I saw your back but not the rest and you were all…" she trails off and closes her eyes and licks her lips. It's like she is seeing me or whatever she imagine right there. Her eyes open up and she puts her hand on her head as if to clear it.
I narrow my eyes and move closer again. "When was this?"
She shrugs and I smirk at how she is working to gain control of herself again. "It was sometime after capture. I think after we got back. Everyone went to bed but I couldn't sleep, too much adrenaline"
That is funny because I was in there in that gym imagining what would have happened if I hadn't have hid as she snuck back onto the Hancock tower and took her second turn zip-lining. If I had come forward and gotten to see the joy and life first hand instead of stepping back into the shadows and just watching her
"Probably because you zip-lined twice in a row."
She frowns "How did you know about the second time? I snuck…" I could see the light switch go off in her eyes "The sling was already set up because you were there when I made my way up again."
I nod. "Can't really be seen as the asshole leader if I am actually enjoying myself can I?"
"Why do you need to be the asshole. You are a good leader, you aren't the youngest anymore so you don't need the intimidation to make up for the age." She frowns and while it pleases me she thinks that, there is too much in the past I can't change not now.
I sigh I pick up Tori's gun and start to work on the arm that still needs to be filled in. "Maybe I am just an asshole. The tattoo is amazing by the way. I like what you did with the other the garter/gear combo it suits you."
She smiles and closes her eyes and sighs. "Thank you."
"So is your Aunt going to come see you on Visiting day?"
"She wants to and I would like to see her. Eric, do you know who my Aunt is?" She asks quietly and her voice is scared and serious.
"No, should I?" I stop and look at her frowning.
She shrugs and frowns. "Something Tris said worries me. Not many people know she was even my Aunt. My Father had cut ties with her but she started taking care of me and letting me come see her when I was very young. She protected me from my dad and my mom checked out. But to protect me from, stuff I guess, she didn't want to tell anyone. She apparently made enemies but Max, Andrea and Tris know her."
I tense and my breath catches. Please don't let it be who I think it is. "No, they didn't tell me. Did they say why they wouldn't tell me?"
She shakes her head. "No, they just asked me not to have her come for the first few months so people could get to know me. I already knew Max for a while. I sort of idolized him growing up. My Aunt and I knew from the time I was 6 I would be coming here. I ramble when I get tattooed, sorry."
My smile doesn't reach my eyes. "Whiskey and tattoos are a dangerous combination. I can see why you only let Tori or Tris then. It is usually George or Bud for me."
She grins. "George isn't allowed near me, he apparently told Four he was going to ask me out as soon as I was available. He was kidding but" She waved to where Four was earlier. "Four is Four."
I snort. He is something completely different when it comes to Raven. "He wasn't even that overprotective of Tris. I know you are close but how did that happen?"
"You know about his dad obviously, but Marcus used to come on his own to Erudite for meetings with other leaders. He brought Four and I met him in the library. We kind of hit it off, he was surly I needed to piss him off because of his surliness. I recognized signs in him and he of me. So we started a friendship outside of that and would see each other out of school but also at school. When he wouldn't show up I found his house and would take care of him. He tried to help me but it is easier sneaking into abnegation than erudite. It went like that for a few years and when I was 12 his dad had come to Erudite but he was upset about something there. Four had obeyed him and stayed in the library but I was there and he was sitting close to me as we were reading about strategies of the Persian Empire and Phalanx formations."
I stop working and tip back the whiskey, why does she have this effect on me? "Even that is fucking sexy as fuck. Go ahead."
"He yanked him up and Tobias was already in pain because he had been horrible the nights before. The closer it came time for his choosing the worse he got. I couldn't take it anymore and I went for the weakest point on Marcus. I threw my entire body against his knees and he went crashing. I took a book and slammed it into his head and told Tobias to go. He couldn't and wouldn't run until Marcus picked me up by my neck and was about to body slam me over his knee. Tobias came to life and he never let Marcus touch him again. Marcus ended up cracking his own fucking head on a bookshelf and Tobias was so scared for me he just grabbed my hand and we took off. I told him to go home that I would take the fall if Marcus was seriously hurt or we had killed him. I even accessed my aunt's codes and deleted the footage. I packed some clothes and a gun my dad had and I was running away. He couldn't let me do it alone and he insisted going with me. I took him somewhere that we couldn't be found. We did end up being found but only because I went to turn myself in. I snuck away in the night and marched straight up to Candor to turn myself in for a crime they couldn't find anywhere on the books. My aunt just happened to be in the area for a meeting and refused to let me go back for him. I have never struck her or thought of it, but I knocked her out and stole her car to go get him, her still in the back seat. I drove it back to Candor and tried to turn myself back in. They only had Dauntless guards come get me if only to stop me from going out and doing anything else to try and get myself arrested."
I had to stop because I was laughing and trying to imagine this. This fireball so set on protecting Four that she knocks out Jeanine Matthews, steals her car to rescue him. Then she drives herself back to turn herself back in. I could see it all too. The guards taking her in just to keep her from doing something else. "You were fucking determined to be arrested?"
She frowns. "No, not really. I didn't want to be taken from her or Tobias but I had done wrong Eric. That matters to me. I can't help the people around me and what their actions are but I can mine. Maybe I also thought it would be better than to have to pretend I was part of some great family when my father is just evil."
I start to work again because I know what she is trying to tell me about herself. But it just makes me feel worse about what I did. How much I knew what I was doing was wrong but I let myself be talked into it. "What about your Aunt? Is she evil?"
She sighs. "I don't think so. She isn't perfect or even innocent but…" She meets my eyes and she knew she was about to tell me something that would drive me away. But she had to and I didn't want her to. "I volunteered for something. She had been working on a project and it was dangerous. I couldn't let that continue so I told her something about myself and I knew I could be killed."
She looks away when my eyes flash with anger and my jaw clenches. The thought of her as one of those people I took to be tortured. I could see it all in my mind. Her beautiful green eyes filled with pain and the light dying as she is driven insane or her body just gives out. "It's ok if you hate me. They said she did something bad but I couldn't bring myself to find out what. I try to make my own decisions about people and I didn't want to know."
The buzz of the gun is the only thing that is heard as I think of how I can ask this. "Have I been mentioned?" She turns back to me in surprise at the question and frowns.
"No, I knew you were a leader because I learned all the senior staff so I wouldn't make an ass of myself. I had heard rumors about you being a hard ass in training and being cruel. Like I said I don't listen to others though. Perception is clouded by one's owns experiences." She sighs sadly, then starts rambling again.
"Chris did mention something once about you hanging her from the Chasm but I asked her what she expected. I knew about the fights Tris had gone through and she wasn't a good fighter at all but she stayed in there and got hit. My brother beat the shit out of her and she didn't try and beg for mercy. Chris saw all of her friends being hurt yet she couldn't continue? She didn't like that answer. Odd for a former Candor but I told her that she only liked the truth when it served her then. She's on the fence now and I think she knows now. You can't be on the fence and not get it." She whispers pained. That along with the comment earlier has my mind whirling but right now all I can concentrate is on the bitch. Raven is going to hate me. Something I am used to with everyone else, but if….no when...it happens with Raven it will destroy me.
I sigh "I don't like your Aunt very much Raven."
"My guess would be more that you absolutely hate her. I don't know what happened to cause it but I won't ask either. That isn't me being afraid though, it just isn't my business." She turns her head away from me and I know where this is headed. It is killing me. But it is for the best. When she finds out what I did, or when her Aunt comes here and sees me…I can't watch her face fill with hate for me.
I turn her arm over and see we are almost done. Her phone goes off and I see her type something then quickly but puts it down.
"Your aunt really sent you the gauges? She doesn't care you are a Dauntless?"
She nods "She wanted to give me the most Dauntless thing she could to show she still loves me and knows I am where I belong. But also because I think she misses me. I feel like I abandoned her at times and I worry without me there to ground her…"
"She must love you very much to support you like that, to risk coming here." I can't even let her finish I am so full of bitterness and anger at Jeanine and myself. She flinches like I have punched her in the gut and it makes it worse for me. Even Shane didn't hurt her like that.
"I am not here for some kind of plot Eric. I hear the tone in your voice. I wasn't even aware someone would think that until Tris mentioned it. She told me to be prepared for people I was friends with or becoming friends with to see me as the enemy."
"Tris is smart then." I close my eyes after I say that. Better this way right?
I put the gun away and clean her arm up. I spread the crème that goes on it and then move to her leg trying to get in a just a few final touches. She still won't look at me.
"You should get dressed now. I will see if I can find Uriah or Tris." I forced myself to address her as if today never happened.
She nods stiffly. Still she doesn't look at me. "Thank you sir." I sigh and close the door behind me. I stand there for a moment debating going back in and pulling her into my arms. To tell her I don't hate her. She is everything good and I would never think she was anything but what a true Dauntless is. I hate myself because of how I let what I knew what was right to be corrupted.
I clench my fists and steel myself. She doesn't need to mean anything. So what we kissed and yeah I wanted her body. I played the asshole before and I can and will do it again.
I head home and get changed. I grab my guns and hit the range and plan to work out. I will exhaust myself until I can finally pass out and when tomorrow comes it will be back to the way it was this morning.
But at 2am after I had beat my knuckles bloody and fired off more rounds that I could count I stood under the shower and knew I couldn't fucking lie to myself. I had already fallen for her before today and just in those short hours of the day there was no way I didn't go deeper.
I lay awake for another hour just replaying shit from today. Now that I wasn't looking at her I was able to recall every word she said in the tattoo parlor as she went out there just as she was to intervene. How in the face of Four's rage she was beautiful and funny.
Her story about her and Four and how they met; how deeply hurt she had to have been growing up but she is who she is even with all of that fucking shit.
No one had ever touched me as deeply as Raven has and I know without a doubt I will regret not being with her everyday for the rest of my life. Even with that, I also know I can't ever make up for what I did and was going to do. She deserves someone better and worthy. It will kill me, but she deserves someone else.
