His breath came in short gasps as he plunged himself into her warmth repeatedly. His hips were moving brusquely back and forth, as if he believed he could kill the woman in his arms with his strong thrusts. His anger, his disappointment, his fury… all of them fueled his body, infusing him with the power he needed to force her to apologize for everything she'd done to him.
Azula had to understand he was not to be toyed with. She had to learn to face the consequences of her actions. And he was more than happy to be the one to deliver those consequences through his manhood.
Her desperate moans made him smirk with malice. He had no idea if she was enjoying it or not, but he hardly cared about that at this point. He was intent on making Azula scream his name, on leading her over the edge of insanity to teach her the lesson of the day. She had been the one to kiss him before and he had every right to open her eyes to reality: by attacking him like that she had signed on for this ride, even if she hadn't been aware of it. Because the innocent Princess had no idea that men like him wouldn't stop at just a kiss. He wanted more. He needed more. And he would get more, no matter if she didn't want him to.
Yet he was sliding in and out of her damp enclosure with such ease he was certain he wasn't getting back at her at all. She wanted it, damn it… he was playing into her hand again. The roughness didn't bother her at all, did it? His hands were settled on her hips, her back facing him as her black hair grew more disheveled with each of his thrusts. He tried to stop the groans from leaving his throat, but it became increasingly difficult every time he felt that pleasant friction wrapping around his length. He didn't want her to know he was enjoying their tryst so much…
Her pale skin beckoned him to lean down and press his lips to her shoulder, sucking at her soft skin as he continued moving in and out of her. Her body was hot and sweaty and her breath was uneven too. Dominating her was just as fun as he had always thought it would be. At last, he was the one in command in their twisted relationship.
He kept moving, his hands circling her waist now as he held her closely, entering her completely. Her legs were completely separated, so much that he couldn't help but be amazed at her flexibility. Yet he held back all possible compliments as he continued filling her up, driving her to the edge of the experience as his shaft brushed against all the right places. With a scream, the Princess finally reached her orgasm, her walls contracting around his cock in such pleasant ways that he was unable to hold back his own climax anymore. He continued moving and released himself, her name slipping from his lips as they both finished together.
Sokka panted, his eyesight blurry as he looked at the woman before him. She had been supporting her weight on the bed with her arms as he straddled her from behind, but her excitement had been so unbearable she had collapsed with her toes curled and her black fingernails clawing at the sheets.
Black fingernails.
Sokka's eyes grew wide in shock as reality struck him with the force of a thunderbolt. The snake tattooed on the woman's shoulder seemed to glare at him accusingly as he began realizing what he'd done and who he had done it with…
"Damn… damn…" he muttered, uncoupling their bodies and stumbling through the room, his hands on his hair.
June turned around, a smile spreading over her dark lips.
"W-wow… you sure know what you're doing," she said, chuckling.
"J-June…" Sokka gasped, aghast. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry…"
June raised an inquisitive eyebrow and sat up on the bed with difficulty, her body slightly strained after the intense activity they had been engaged in just moments ago. She looked back at the gladiator, noticing how troubled he seemed to be. She hadn't missed the way he had whispered someone else's name as he thrust into her, but she had been too amazed by his movements to pay any attention to what he was saying. So long as he didn't stop, she didn't care if he pretended she was another woman.
"Your girl will be really lucky if she ever manages to get into your pants," she said. "She's in for a treat."
"S-she's not going to be in for anything…" said Sokka, shaking his head.
Yes, he had worked out his sexual frustration for now. But he still couldn't get Azula out of his head. Instead of solving his problems, everything had grown worse. He felt treacherous. He felt soiled. He'd had sex with a woman while thinking about Azula. He had betrayed Azula, betrayed June by imagining she was someone else and he had betrayed himself most of all. He had known this fling would be no use, yet he had gone through with it regardless. He was truly despicable.
"I'm sorry…" he muttered again, unable to raise his gaze to meet hers.
June rolled her eyes as she picked up her clothes. Their meeting had developed into what had been, most likely, the weirdest sex she had ever had. At first he had been awkward, insecure… but all of sudden he became more focused, more intense. All of sudden he had began devouring her and he had turned her around, taking her from behind. And she knew why he had changed his demeanor halfway through their encounter: it had been around then that he had begun whispering that other name. Had he noticed he was calling out for the girl he was infatuated with? June rather doubted it.
"You don't owe anyone an apology," she said as she began dressing. Sokka collapsed on the floor, appalled.
"I was an idiot to think this would be any use, June," he muttered, shaking his head. "I'm… I'm too damn far gone to be saved anymore."
June chuckled and sighed, looking at him with derision.
"Well, at least it was fun while it lasted," she whispered. "You won't deny it was good, or will you?"
"It… it was," he admitted. "But I…"
"But you were thinking about her, yes," June interrupted him. Sokka grimaced, disgusted with himself. How more shameful could he become?
"I'm sorry…"
"Cut it out," said June, her patience running short. "I don't care who you were thinking about. You performed your duty just as you had to, and that's the only thing that matters to me. So stop whining. It's getting annoying."
Sokka looked up at her, grimacing. June was already dressed up, her face contorting into a frown as she glared glacially at him. Sokka gulped and nodded, still disgusted with himself, but determined not to let it show to keep from upsetting her.
June entered the bathroom and left him to get dressed by himself. Sokka slid into his clothes, his thoughts in complete disarray. The alcohol was blurring his mind a little, but not enough for him not to think straight. He was feeling quite bad about what had happened… yet June seemed perfectly fine with everything. She even knew he had been thinking about another woman as he pleased her and she didn't care.
It took him an instant to realize he had been used for sex.
The thought didn't make him feel any better, but it helped him think less of the woman in the next room. Now that was something lowly to do… had she been plotting to get into his pants ever since she saw him in the tavern? He frowned at the thought. No, that was unlikely. Even if she seemed to be as devilish as Azula, she probably had decided to turn him into a sex partner during their conversation… right?
He frowned when he thought about the Princess. He almost felt as if he'd just had sex with her, seeing how his overactive imagination had convinced him that June was Azula as they rolled under the sheets. But it really hadn't been her. The forbidden fruit still lay far from his grasp, staring at him mockingly from the top of the tree. Oh, he had done so many stupid things in a single day… and it was all her fault. Everything he had done, he had done because of her.
He snarled at the thought as he tied his belt. She should be pleased now, shouldn't she? His life was an utter disaster. He had been a fool to ever claim otherwise. Just as he had thought earlier, she had given him many things and she could make them disappear with the blink of an eye. And she already had. The minute he had said he was happy, she had taken it upon herself to make his life miserable just because she could. And he wouldn't forgive her for that. He couldn't forgive her.
June reentered the bedroom to find Sokka dressed and ready to take off. The stern look on his face made it clear he had gone back to the brooding man she had met in the tavern rather than the apologetic brat she had been dealing with just now. She definitely liked the former better than the latter.
"You're done saying sorry at last?" she asked, tying up her hair in a half-knot.
"I guess," said Sokka, sighing. "Say… why did you do it? Why did you bother talking with me and going to bed with me, of all people? I'm trying to figure it out, but…"
June rolled her eyes and smirked at him.
"Has anyone ever told you that you think too much?" she asked. "Nothing is as twisted as you imagine it is."
Sokka blinked a few times before shaking his head in disagreement.
"Things have been complicated in my life for a long time now. Even if something simple shows up, I'll brace myself for the worst-case scenario…"
"And what exactly would be the worst-case scenario here?" asked June, raising an eyebrow.
"I figured you would have been tricking me just to get into my pants from the start…" muttered Sokka, feeling quite stupid as he spoke. June rolled her eyes and chuckled.
"I'd have to be some incredible evil mastermind to figure I could have sex with you from the moment I saw you," she said. "Spending so much time with that girl of yours has damaged your brain. Not all of us are as clever as she is."
"Yeah, probably not…" said Sokka, clenching his fists as he thought about Azula again.
"So… you proved your theory was right, I guess," said June, folding her arms over her chest. "You doing alright?"
Sokka shook his head, his hand going up to his forehead.
"No, I'm not. I can't be in love with her, June. It's… it's so twisted for me to fall for her that it's not even funny…"
June seemed to differ, but she had enough sense not to give out her opinion for once.
"Well, the first thing you have to do is accept it," she whispered. "Once you embrace your reality, you'll be able to move onto the second step: deciding what you'll do about it."
"What can I do?" Sokka asked, frowning. "It's not as if I could actually do something about this. Believe me, if I had a say upon this I wouldn't be in love with her altogether."
"You don't have a say upon your feelings, sure," said June, shrugging. "But you've got to decide if you'll run away from them or face them head on. Confront the situation, Sokka. You can find a solution even if everything seems hopeless."
Sokka stared at her in surprise as she delivered him her wisdom. June walked towards the room's exit then, ready to take off again.
"I don't know what you're going to do now, but I'll be off to the pub again."
"What? You're going there again?" asked Sokka.
"Isn't that what I just said?" asked June, raising an eyebrow as she looked at him.
It was clear the man's mind was completely overwhelmed by the latest happenings. From what June could tell, he hadn't had a very nice day and her intervention had, likely, only made everything worse. Well, at the very least she had helped him work off his sexual frustrations… that had to count for something, right?
"Y-yeah, what I meant was… why?" asked Sokka, puzzled.
"I didn't get to drink enough, and I might be able to get involved in the brawls this time," said June, smiling. "In any case, you can stay in here for a while if you want to. You could use some time to clear your head."
"Yeah, I think I could…" said Sokka. "But I should go home for the night."
"Then this is where we part," said June, looking straight at him. "You're not half as bad a person as you think you are, Sokka. Good luck with Lady Mysterious. Maybe you'll manage to overcome her spell if you work hard enough… or maybe you'll be stuck in her grasp forever. But it's all up to you. Fight back or give up. It's your choice, Sokka."
The gladiator was slightly surprised at first, but he nodded promptly at her advice.
"It was nice meeting you. See you around," she finished, leaving the room without another word.
Sokka's back found the nearest wall and he rested against it as he tried to make some sense out of his blurry mind. He was relieved that June hadn't said anything about seeing each other again… he had landed himself a lucky hit with the woman. Just as she had promised, there were no strings attached to their one-night-stand. She didn't seem one to commit to relationships, and, in his current state, neither was he. She had been, truly, the right girl at the right time. But the time for getting involved with random women foolishly was over now. Because, just as she had said, he had proved his theory correct: he couldn't get Azula off his mind.
To make everything worse, he could tell his performance in bed had improved when he had started to imagine June was Azula. He had been fortunate enough that her dark hair and pale skin had helped him to indulge in said illusion, but, for some reason, he was convinced that sex with Azula wouldn't feel like that. He couldn't place what was missing… other than the fact that June wasn't actually Azula, of course.
And that was, most likely, the biggest problem. Sokka sighed and yanked his hair in despair. He couldn't accept being in love with her… it would only make everything worse than it already was. She was his personal brand of poison… but there had to be an antidote out there somewhere. Other women wouldn't be the ones to save him from his doom, he was perfectly convinced of that after all of what had happened today. But there had to be something else, anything…
June's words rang in his ears again. Once he accepted his situation, he had to decide whether to confront the issue or run away from it. Had he come to accept it already? No, he didn't accept it. He couldn't. But he could go down to the next step right away, couldn't he?
What would he do? Run away from it? What did running entail? He didn't know. Truth to be told, he didn't feel like running anywhere. Confronting the problem, then…?
Oh, yes. That was quite an appealing idea.
Meeting Azula and giving her a piece of his mind. Letting her know she wouldn't get her way even if she thought otherwise…
He walked to the door with a determined frown on his face, leaving the room after deciding what his next destination would be: the Fire Nation Royal Palace.
Azula had always liked sitting on the Palace's open hallways. Staring at the gardens from afar would soothe her whenever she felt troubled. Focusing on smaller things helped her forget what distressed her, even if said small things were comprised of laughing under her breath whenever the turtle ducks from the pond tripped and fell as they tried to walk on firm ground instead of swimming.
She had been summoned to see her father a few hours ago, seeing how Lo and Li had told the Fire Lord about the decision his daughter had made. Ozai had been quite surprised by the developments that had led Azula to fire the two women that had supported her since childhood, but when he saw the determined look on the Princess's face he had assumed Azula had her reasons to send them away. He didn't need to know what those reasons were; all he needed to do was trust his daughter's sharp judgment. If she wanted the two old ladies gone, he would approve of her decision.
Azula had been surprised by her father's support. She had half expected him to realize she had been crying even though she had done everything she could to make herself look as perfect as ever, but she feared he would notice a sliver of unusual weakness in her demeanor anyways. She felt weaker, and her father wasn't one to tolerate weaknesses. It was the reason why he had always preferred her over Zuko: she could always pretend to be flawless even if she was dying inside.
The more she thought about it now, the stupider she felt. Yes, perhaps Lo and Li had it coming… but pushing them away so promptly could mean trouble in the long run. She had been too fortunate this time, since her father hadn't asked any questions regarding what had driven her to send them away, but she knew she wouldn't be as lucky if she did something so reckless a second time. She had to keep herself in check… she couldn't continue slipping up because of her circumstances with Sokka.
He had turned her life around, she had to admit that… but she couldn't carry on like this. This wasn't her. She wasn't one to undergo emotional outbursts, she was one to face predicaments and solve them in the shrewdest way. But it didn't matter how much she tried to think of a solution to her issues with Sokka, she couldn't picture an outcome in which she could triumph in this struggle. At least, her mind couldn't provide her with one at the moment… and letting her heart's desires lead the way instead of proper, rational thinking, would bring her to a breakdown just like the one she had faced earlier, and she meant to avoid that at all costs.
"Princess, Lo and Li have left the Palace," said the Captain of her Royal Guards, approaching her from down the hall. "They'll be going back to their house at Ember Island… i-in case you wished to know."
The Captain stammered when he realized Azula wouldn't be too interested in the fate of her old advisors, not when she had been the one to send them away in the first place. He froze when he noticed the Princess was sitting by herself right in front of the fence that secluded the hall from the gardens, her long hair down as she wore one of her red-and-gold sleeping gowns.
Azula frowned when she heard his voice, but she refrained from sending him away rudely, no matter how badly she wished to do it. She couldn't let her temper get to the best of her again, especially seeing how the Captain had never done anything to displease her, unlike Lo and Li.
"Good," she muttered, her voice cracking as she spoke. She cringed at that.
The Captain sighed as he looked at the Princess. He had noticed she was behaving in an unusual manner when they left the Arena, given how she had left her gladiator behind and ordered her Procession to leave promptly. He suspected something had happened between them, but he didn't have the heart to ask Azula what it was for a few reasons: first, he didn't actually want to know what had happened, and second, he knew she would likely never confide such personal information in him. She hardly trusted anyone, and, without a doubt, he wasn't amongst the people she relied upon the most.
Regardless, he cared about her. He was assigned to her, and his job was to stand by her side to assist her no matter the circumstances. His life was devoted to protecting Azula, and seeing how he had been unable to shield her from whatever had hurt her, he could at least try to heal her even if he had no idea how to do it.
Azula's eyes narrowed when she realized the man had taken his seat by her side with his legs crossed. She could sense he was quite nervous about what he was doing, but he didn't pull away. What was he doing?
"I, uh…" muttered the Captain, feeling rather stupid. "I'm…"
"What do you want?" asked Azula promptly, making him jump.
"Princess…" said the Captain, looking at her and sighing. "I know I must look like a fool before you right now, but I just thought I should tell you that… that I can tell something bothers you."
"Oh, joy," said Azula, sarcastically. "You're such a genius, Captain. You deserve a medal as a reward for your amazing insight."
The Captain grimaced under his mask when she snapped at him like that. He knew conveying his thoughts to her wouldn't be an easy matter, but her sharp remarks only made his job more difficult. Well, if there was something Azula excelled at, it was making his job more difficult in a large number of ways…
"Uh… what I meant to say was…" he muttered, looking away from her. "I will not question what happened today with Lo and Li. If you sent them away, you must have had a good reason to do it."
"Right," said Azula, glaring at him sideways. "So…?"
"General Iroh told them that you seemed upset," said the Captain. "I overheard their conversation…"
"Why, aren't you quite the eavesdropper…" Azula muttered, making him cringe.
"I-it comes with the job, Princess," he replied. "People tend to forget guards aren't simply statues standing by the doors… we have all our senses devoted to the task at hand."
"So you're saying you've heard many things you shouldn't have…?"
"I… I suppose I have, but I shall not disclose any of it if it's not necessary for me to do so," said the Captain, trying to dodge her verbal jabs. "It's not what I wanted to speak about anyways…"
"Right," muttered Azula, frowning. "So it's my uncle's fault that Lo and Li showed up in my room, then…"
"Indeed," said the Captain. "Yet… having you talk matters out with them wouldn't work if they imposed themselves upon you."
Azula's frown deepened. If he knew Lo and Li shouldn't have gone to her when she hadn't called for them, why did it seem he was trying to do the very same thing they had?
"I understand you can't rely on people who act that way," he continued. "Which is why I… I'm not going to do what they did."
"In that case, what are you trying to pull, Captain?" asked Azula, curious. "If you aren't trying to convince me to open up to you and tell you all about my life's problems… what are you doing?"
"I'm… I'm doing my best not to bother you," he said, nervously. "Because I don't wish to be a hindrance to you. Yet… I thought you should know that, even though I won't pester you about what troubles you, I'm still nearby in case you need someone to talk to."
Azula looked at him with derisive eyes.
"When exactly did you think our relationship had reached the point in which I would feel comfortable by talking about personal matters with you?"
"At none, Princess," the Captain admitted. "I understand you wouldn't wish to share your innermost thoughts with a mere guard…"
"Then what are you doing, Captain?" asked Azula, glaring at him. "What do you think you can accomplish with this?"
The Captain sighed and dropped his head promptly.
"As a guard, I'm obligated to follow your every order. If I were to displease you in the way Lo and Li did, I'd be certain to earn the same punishment… and I would find myself with no other choice but to leave if you order me to do so. Yet that's what I would do as a soldier… not what I would do as a friend."
Azula raised an inquisitive eyebrow. Since when were they friends…?
"I know it may seem rash of me to speak like this," muttered the Captain. "But I… I have the feeling that, rather than a guard, you might be in need for a friend. Standing by the sidelines as I have for all this time has proven to be useless. You… you were hurt when I should have been protecting you, Princess… and if there's a chance I can amend my mistakes by helping you cure your wounds through any means, I'll take it gladly."
Azula frowned again and looked at the Captain with puzzled eyes.
"What are you trying to say, Captain?" she asked.
"I… I'm not sure," he admitted, grimacing under his mask. "I think I'm saying that I understand if you wish to be alone… but if there's any chance I might be able to help you through your troubled times, I'll do it."
Azula looked away from the man, slightly moved by his words. Yet…
"I appreciate your devotion, Captain," said Azula. "But I don't think there's anything you could do for me as of now. You said you wouldn't make me talk this out if I didn't want to… well, I don't. Truthfully, I'd rather be alone for now."
"I understand," said the Captain, nodding. "In any case, I'll be nearby in case you change your mind, or if you need my assistance in any way."
"Good," Azula whispered.
"I'll take my leave then, Princess," said the Captain, standing up and performing a bow towards Azula.
"Captain…" she muttered, her voice quivering again although she failed to notice it this time.
"Yes, Princess?" asked the Captain, taken by surprise.
Azula struggled with the words for a moment. It wasn't every day she felt the urge to let others know she had a softer side.
"T-thanks… for everything. Even if you didn't do much," she finished, looking away after uttering the last phrase.
The Captain's eyes snapped wide open. He gaped at the Princess for a moment, realizing this was the first time she had ever expressed gratitude towards him in an earnest manner. He smiled and bowed again before leaving her to herself, just as he had said he would.
Azula frowned for a moment as she tried to assimilate what had just happened. She hadn't rejected the Captain right away because she wished to avoid making another fuss in the Palace in a single day… but she definitely hadn't expected him to offer her his helping hand in the way he had. She had been certain he disliked her due to how she always treated him, but he had been so sincere just now that she realized he was thoroughly loyal to her, no matter what. She knew he had been completely honest with her, it was easy for her to tell. He really wanted to support her even though he didn't know how…
Azula couldn't help but feel slightly relieved. She had feared that, at this rate, all her relationships would become strained due to her reckless decisions and ridiculous actions. Yet it seemed she could rely on the Captain even if she couldn't rely on anyone else… and that would suffice for now. It would give her the strength she needed to carry on until she was able to figure out how to put an end to her predicament with Sokka.
She stood up and cast one last look at the garden, catching sight of several fireflies hovering amongst the bushes. She was set on going to bed and forgetting about her troubles for now, certain that, once she had rested, she would find the common sense she seemed to have lost at some point today. She could devise a way to get out of the mess she had wrought upon herself by kissing that savage. If there was something that made her proud was her quick wit and her skills to figure out clever solutions to virtually any situation…
Azula turned around to head down to her room, feeling far more confident now. She could trust she wouldn't make a fool of herself anymore since her analytical mind was in control once again…
At least, it was in control until she realized there was someone staring at her from the opposite end of the hall.
Her heart had already sunk in her chest before she could tell for certain whom it was.
Sokka was breathing heavily, glaring at her with his zephyr eyes. His hair was down, a sight Azula wasn't used to. His clothes had been fancy garments at some point in time, but they looked rummaged and soiled now. His shirt wasn't even completely closed, and the sash around his waist was tied in a poorly composed knot.
Azula's body didn't know how to respond to seeing Sokka again. Her heart was racing again, but a horrible sensation of foreboding was taking over her as well. There was a pit in her chest, a hole that was growing larger with every second that passed by as she held Sokka's gaze with her own.
Her previous confidence vanished as he began stepping towards her, his eyes gleaming with fury. Azula fought the urge to turn around and flee when she realized there was no reason for her to wish to avoid him. Running away from him now would let him see how badly shaken she was after all of what had happened today. She couldn't show any weaknesses to him. She was his sponsor, his master. He was a mere gladiator, a slave. There was no reason why she should be frightened by this encounter.
As he approached she noticed there was a strange smell on him. There seemed to be a great mixture of odors on him, but the one she could sense clearly was alcohol. He had been drinking? The mere thought of what a drunken Sokka might have done on a date made her heart sink even deeper.
His eyes were truly a sight to behold right now. For reasons Azula couldn't understand, his evident rage made the blue in his gaze more alluring than ever before.
Sokka could tell she was frightened by the sight of him, even though he couldn't understand what she had to fear from him. Those golden eyes were screaming for someone to help her, to restrain him somehow because she didn't want to face his anger, but she didn't call out for any guards or servants. Still, her body, clad solely in a gown, was posed as if she were ready to make a run for it. He felt somewhat proud of being the one responsible for causing such an effect on her. He didn't know what she had to fear, seeing how everything had gone exactly as she had planned… right?
Azula felt her body shiver as she tried to glare back at Sokka, but she knew her dread towards what might come was far stronger than her determination. Regardless, she wouldn't step back. She wouldn't falter. He wasn't going to intimidate her, not now, not ever…
"What… what are you doing here?" she managed to say, her voice shaky.
Sokka's eyes grew even colder at that question. His hands balled into fists as he snarled at the Princess, the woman who was his salvation and damnation at once.
"You mean you really don't know?" he asked. "You're surprised to see me here, Azula? Are you, really?"
"I thought…" she muttered, her gaze leaving his for a moment. "I thought you'd be having the time of your life with your new friend."
Sokka huffed in disbelief, shaking his head.
"Sure you thought so. Sure you thought I'd be able to spend the night with another woman without thinking about what you did to me."
"About what I…?" said Azula, cringing. "Wait a minute…"
"You're actually going to pretend you didn't know what you were doing? Really, Azula?!" he yelled.
"What the hell are you talking about?!"
"That damned kiss, that's what!" he shouted, his chest aching at the memory of her lips on his. He could hardly believe he was actually confronting her about it…
Azula took a step back at those words. Well, it was a relief to know she hadn't been the only one shaken up by what had happened between them in the waiting room. Yet he was angry, very angry, and she couldn't figure out why. He had gotten everything he could have asked for: a date with that gladiator girl, a kiss from her… why was he so upset?
"What about it?" grunted Azula, her fear beginning to subside as her own fury began taking its place.
"You had no right to do something like that!" yelled Sokka.
"I had no right?" Azula repeated, raising her eyebrows. "Pray tell, why did you kiss me back if you didn't want it, then?! And you didn't just kiss back, you went crazy on me! Are you going to blame me for your actions too?!"
"I sure as hell will!" he replied. "You knew from the beginning what I was going through! You knew I didn't stand a chance against you!"
"What the blazes are you talking about?!" asked Azula, starting to feel slightly concerned about Sokka's mental health at this point.
"You realized I was into you!" Sokka yelled. "And you knew I was trying to pull away from you! You didn't care if I was trying to spare us from the hell, because you're so selfish you just needed to have me to yourself, didn't you?!"
"What the…? You were… into me?" Azula repeated, blinking rapidly as she tried to stomach what he had just admitted.
"Don't act as if you didn't know! You damn well did!" Sokka declared, baring his teeth at her.
Azula's eyes dropped for a moment as she realized she hadn't been wrong. Yes, he had smiled at her in a special way. Yes, he had flirted and joked around with her. And all of it had happened because he had liked her… Sokka liked her.
Or at least, he used to like her.
"Well…" she said, seeking for the courage to look into his eyes again. "Excuse me for not swallowing your lies right away. You were into me, you said? In that case, why the hell did you go with someone else?!"
"Because you and I will never be together!" Sokka yelled. "We can't be! And you should know it better than I do!"
Azula cringed at those words. True… there were forces in this world that would set them apart if they gave in to their innermost urges. There were a million reasons why they should have never opened the door towards the possibility of becoming something more than just being a sponsor and a gladiator.
But they had opened it. What now?
"I needed to get away from you so that I wouldn't feel tempted to do anything out of bounds!" Sokka shouted. "I had to get away before I was in too deep to save myself from drowning in you! And I thought I could do it… damn, I probably could have! But then you… you kissed me. You kissed me, Azula! What the hell was going through your mind?! What were you thinking?!"
Azula found herself at a loss for words all of sudden. What was she thinking? What had she been thinking back then? She had thought he was hers… and she didn't want him to pull away from her, indeed. She had wanted him for herself, to keep him by her side in whichever way possible, and she had kissed him to show him that whatever he thought he could have with another woman, he could have it with her, too. But he was right. They couldn't be together. It couldn't be done.
"So?! Tell me! Why did you do it, Azula?!" he insisted, coming closer. Azula wanted to push him away, but she refused to falter. She had no idea if she would win or lose this time, but she was going to fight him to the end regardless.
"You… you're mine," she finally replied, her eyes glinted with the very same rage that shaded his. "You're my slave. I'm the one who calls the shots in your life, no matter what you think. And if I don't want you to trample with strangers, then I'll make sure you won't!"
"Why the hell does it matter to you who I trample with?!" Sokka threw back at her. "You're the Princess! I'm just a stupid slave, just like you said! Why should you care about what I do with my life?!"
"You and I had a bargain, or are you too drunk to remember it?!" Azula yelled. "You're going to get to the top of that ranking, and until then, you only answer to me! Your loyalty lies with ME! And I won't condone any useless distractions such as that pathetic girl! You're only who you are today because of me! You owe me your life, Sokka!"
"Yeah… that's right," said Sokka, his eyes growing tearful to Azula's surprise. "I am who I am because of you. You're the one to blame for the monster I've become. I can't even look at myself in a damn mirror without feeling that's not me! Ever since I met you you've made my life a living hell! Yeah, you wanna know the truth?! I lied back there! No, my life isn't wonderful! No, I'm not satisfied with what I've got! No, I didn't get the better end of our deal! You've done everything you could to destroy me, to tear me to pieces and shape me into whatever you wanted me to be! You've made me hate you for what you've done to me… but most of all, I hate myself! I hate myself! You have no idea how badly I do!"
Azula stared at him in shock. How had he been able to conceal such pain and sorrow within himself when he was always smiling and joking around? Did he truly think so lowly of himself?
"And the worst part is that I was enough of a masochist to embrace what you'd done to me," Sokka continued, shaking his head. "I… I was fine with it. And I was stupid enough to look at you as if there were something else beneath all those layers of evil!"
"What…?" Azula gasped. Evil, he said? She was downright evil in his eyes, after all they'd been through?
"I don't know why the hell did I think maybe you cared about me," he said, shaking his head. "Every single thing you did, you did it to benefit yourself. Because that's all you care about, yourself. So long as you get everything you want, you'll be satisfied, won't you? You don't give a damn about what I might want, that's out of the question… because the only thing that matters is you."
It was Azula's turn to snarl, her hands drawing into fists as well. She wanted to burn him, to make him suffer for every single word he had uttered that evening…
"Well, congratulations. You'll get your fucking wish," said Sokka, his glare growing fiercer. "I'm going to get to the top of that stupid ranking, and that's all I'm going to do. Because, so long as you're around, I'll never have a life of my own. I understood that tonight, at last."
"What are you…?" asked Azula, slightly confused. "How did you…?"
"You're poison, you know?" he grunted. "It doesn't matter if I'm with another woman, I can't stop thinking about you. It's you, all the time. Even while I was fucking her brains out, it was you. I couldn't stop thinking about you."
Azula's eyes widened with horror. Fucking her brains out? Did this mean he had actually slept with Kyoshi's Heir?!
"It doesn't matter what I do… it doesn't," he grunted. "You're worse than poison, really. Because there's no antidote to you. There's nothing I can do to stop this madness!"
"You didn't… you didn't…" she muttered, shaking her head as she felt her chest paining her so badly she couldn't even keep looking at him anymore. She stepped back, still in disbelief.
"Hell, yeah. I did," said Sokka, knowing what had shocked her the most. "But you can rest easy, Princess. It's not going to happen again until I manage to get you out of my life. Else I'm sure as hell not going to enjoy it, with your face showing up in my mind all the time no matter what I do."
Azula looked up at him, enraged, disappointed and miserable. Despite being surprised by her display of emotions, Sokka managed to keep himself impassive.
"Such great news," she grumbled. "You… how dared you? You're… you're the worst…"
"I'm the worst?! I'm the worst?! Look who's talking!" yelled Sokka, rolling his eyes. "You've got my useless life in your hands and you can do whatever you want with me, you know?! So why don't you just kill me now, if I'm that despicable?!"
"I sure as hell should!" Azula yelled, her eyes stinging with tears. "You spineless, cowardly imbecile…"
"Yeah, I'm all that and a lot more," Sokka countered her. "You think that's going to change anything, telling me what you think of me?! It's not going to do a damn thing!"
"I hate you…" Azula whispered, the tears beginning to stream down her face as she collapsed on the ground, her shoulders shaking slightly "I HATE YOU!"
Sokka shook his head, loathing to feel his heart aching to comfort her. He was a fool, he always had been. But wanting to stand by her as she wept, after all the things he had said, seemed the most ridiculous thing he could have ever done.
"Seems like that's the one thing we can agree on," he grunted. "Yeah, let's all hate Sokka. Because he was stupid enough to feel anything for someone who doesn't give a crap about anyone but herself."
"Shut up! Y-you know nothing about me! NOTHING!" Azula yelled, refusing to look at him anymore.
"With the little I know, I don't want to know anything else," Sokka replied, shaking his head. "And I really was that stupid… I really was that stupid…"
Someone came running down the hall right then. Sokka was surprised to see the Captain of Azula's Royal Guards heading straight towards her. He dropped to his knees by her side as Azula's muffled sobs left her body, her arms hugging herself as if she wanted to keep his words from scarring her soul… but it was too late. The damage was done.
"Princess… Princess," said the Captain, aghast. She had been fine just a while ago…
He lifted his head towards the Water Tribe slave, his eyes alight with anger even though Sokka couldn't see them. Of course it was him… it had always been him. Whatever had forced her to kick Lo and Li out of the Palace, what had driven her to the depressive state she currently was in… everything was his doing.
"Leave this Palace immediately," the guard ordered him, his voice powerful and frightening.
Sokka looked at the broken figure of Azula one last time, his rage blurring his mind even now. Why should she cry, if she had gotten her way? He had said he wouldn't see any other women until he was out of her clutches. He would devote himself to fulfilling their deal and nothing else. What more could she ask for at this point?
Sokka huffed before turning around and going down the hall again, headed towards the Palace's main gates. He had no idea what outcome he had been expecting from this, but he definitely didn't think she would have ended up reduced to tears because of him. Yet that couldn't make a difference. He'd had enough of caring about Azula. The more he cared, the worse it would be for him.
Azula's nails dug into her skin as she hugged herself tightly. Every word he had uttered tonight had been given wings to everything she would have never wanted to hear from him. He really thought her heartless, didn't he? Had he ever thought that, perchance, everything she had done for him, she had done because she wanted to? Had he ever thought that, maybe, she had feelings for him as well?
No, that didn't matter to him. Because, as he had said… they could never be together. Only now did Azula understand what he had tried to accomplish by asking another woman out in the Arena. He had meant to displease her, to make her think he wasn't worth her time, and to get over her by trying his luck with another girl. But she had refused to let go of him… because she thought he belonged to her. Because he was hers.
Or so she had thought. But, truth to be told, Sokka had never been much of a slave. He got away with what he wanted all the time, he lived a better life than many Fire Nation citizens, and he had a naïve Princess yearning for him. Was he really hers? Could that man ever belong to anyone? A long time ago he had claimed she had a heart of ice… he had a soul of wild fire, in that case. It was impossible to tame him, even for someone like her. She had gotten her way throughout all her life… but everything became different when he came into the picture. He had turned her world around when she hadn't been looking, and now he was torturing her as he proved to her that, no matter if he had to serve as her gladiator, he would never be hers. His soul would remain free forever, even if she tried to submit him to her will.
It hurt beyond belief to accept he was the one thing she had wanted the most, and the one thing she could never have, no matter what. Because even if there had been no prejudices to hold their potential relationship back, Sokka had grown to despise her. He hated her. And no matter how she wished to reciprocate the feeling, she really couldn't bring herself to do it. It didn't matter if she had felt as enraged as she had… she knew she didn't hate him.
She wanted to run after him and say she was sorry. She wanted to ask him if he could let everything return to the way it had been. She wanted to be his friend again, the sponsor he had come to rely upon. She wanted to see him smile instead of seeing him scowl. She didn't even care if their relationship would be stuck in that simple friendly stage for the rest of their lives. Even though that wasn't what she truly wanted, it would be better than the hellish situation they had fallen into. She had let her feelings take the wheel and she had pushed herself upon Sokka, without stopping to think if that was what he wanted or not. Maybe he was right… maybe she was too selfish. Maybe she deserved what had happened. Maybe it was time for her to open her eyes to reality: he would never come to love someone like her.
She didn't even notice the way the Captain's arms surrounded her shoulders and pulled her into an embrace, lost in her misery as she was. The guard gritted his teeth in anger, wondering what that blasted slave had done to the broken girl in his arms. Azula's desperate sobs were heart-shattering… and he wished to punish the man he knew responsible for them. But he couldn't do anything. He wouldn't. He had no idea what had happened between them, and he had no business prying into it. For now, all he could do was hold the Princess in his arms and show her he had meant it when he had said he would stay by her side. Azula would be the one to decide what sort of justice would be unleashed upon the slave once she got over the heartbreak she was suffering from…
Sokka slammed the door when he entered the house. He cringed at the loud noise, only remembering Song had probably been sleeping and his harshness might have woken her. He climbed the steps up to his room, thinking about every single mistake he had made lately. Yes, without a doubt, he hated the man he had become. And he really couldn't blame Azula for all of it.
The memory of her tears made him grimace as he lifted a hand to his brow. There was no way she could have been faking such emotions… she couldn't be that great a liar. Nobody was.
But he had to believe she was. He was sure she had kissed him just to brand him as hers, that she had done it to make sure he wouldn't be able to get her out of his mind…
But what if she hadn't?
What if there was more to Azula than he had thought there was?
What if she had done it because she had really wanted to be with him?
Sokka shook his head and dropped on the mattress, exhausted. It had been an extremely long day. Maybe all of it had been just a bad nightmare. He closed his eyes, wishing he would never have to wake up again, in hopes that a good night's sleep would help him forget the tears Azula had shed because of him…
