Sure enough, as soon as Jessica saw Bella she gave her a truly massive list of menial chores. Bella had been assigned to laundry duty each day that week, which was verging on cruel. Laundry was such an arduous task, involving scrubbing the garments with harsh soap and freezing water. Angela gave Bella some pig's fat to help her skin heal, but her hands were still chafed and rough-looking.

Bella was surprised that she wasn't asked to serve at dinner the night she got back, nor the night after. She was shocked when a whole week went by without her being asked to serve, an exact reversal of her earlier schedule. Most servants served dinner a few nights a week, usually rotating every other day. After two weeks, Bella realized that it seemed she had gone from serving at every dinner, to permanently serving at none. And she had no idea why.

She was assigned work which took place out the main areas of the manor. Most of her time was spent in the basement laundry room and in the kitchen. Whenever she was assigned a task that took place in the main areas of the house, such as dusting or scrubbing the first floor, it was when the family was out for the day.

Bella was perplexed as to why her schedule had changed so dramatically. At one point she would have given a years wages to not have to deal with Edward again. But she found herself wondering what he was doing, how he was dealing with the death of his father.

Whenever the other servants gossiped about Edward, Bella found herself listening attentively, just like the pathetic maids that Bella had so looked down upon when she had moved in. She had never understood the overwhelming interest from the female staff in Edward, with each of them going on about their short interactions with him and updates on which noblewoman he had spent the night with.

Bella had always found this to be ridiculous and embarrassing, and she had wondered why they had even cared. But now she couldn't help herself from listening intently, waiting for some scrap of information about Edward's mindset. Why- she didn't know.

Sometimes at night, she would lie awake, tossing and turning. No matter how hard she tried to keep her focus elsewhere, thoughts of Edward would swirl in her head. And memories of their nights at the inns, hitting her like a sudden storm.

Those memories seemed almost unreal now, like a dream she had had or a story from a book. It seemed so far from her life right now: the feel of the silk sheets, the warm firelight casting a golden glow on Edward's face, his hard thigh parting her legs.

Sometimes Bella had to fight off an overwhelming urge to touch herself down there, in the place where Edward had touched her. But she controlled herself, knowing that her thoughts were prurient and wrong. And still, she would wake up in sweats sometimes, interrupted from the ecstasy of a dream in which she and Edward were back on the bed, and where she hadn't stopped him when he had 'wanted to try something.'

One day Bella had been assigned to dust the first floor. She had been wiping down a porcelain figurine when she had heard footsteps in the hall, and a couple of seconds later Edward strode in, looking distracted. Bella had thought that Edward was in town with his sisters that afternoon, and she was so surprised to see him that she nearly dropped the figurine.

Edward had marched into the room as if he was looking for something, glancing around the room. When his eyes landed on Bella, he stopped. His expression totally changed, whatever he had been looking for seemingly forgotten. He stared at her for a couple of seconds, frozen in place. Then he had whirled around and stomped down the hallway, heading for the stairs.

Bella was shocked, and she couldn't help but remember her dread of running into Edward when she had first started at the estate.

After their trip, she had felt rather close to Edward, as if they had built a grudging respect for each other. But now it was like he had never known her, as if their honest conversations and their kisses had never happened.

She had finished the dusting as quickly as she could, and went down to begin kitchen duty. Bella had been still thinking about the incident the next day, when Angela had told her that Edward had left unexpectedly that morning and no one was sure when he would be back.

As Bella had pondered over their strange run-in and the timing of Edward's trip, as well as her being assigned to tasks that kept her away from the family, she couldn't help but wonder if there was a connection, and Edward was trying to avoid her. She brushed these thought off as paranoia, but it was so foreign to Bella to feel this way, to feel as though Edward wanted to stay away from her, almost as if he wanted her out of sight and mind. She supposed that maybe he had regretted their kiss, and didn't want her affections to grow for him.

Well, there was no danger of that, Bella thought to herself. She had made it clear that their relationship was strictly professional; Edward was the one who wanted to make it something more.

Sure, she had enjoyed the kiss, but she had been totally drunk and it had been a purely physical reaction that Bella had blocked as soon as the alcohol wore off.

Another part of Bella wondered whether, if that was the case, would things be different had she not put her foot down that night? If she hadn't screamed at Edward and made it clear that they couldn't be romantic, would he still be comfortable with her serving at dinner, with her accompanying him on things?

She wasn't sure even why she would want to know. If anything, she should be grateful to Edward for leaving her alone.

And I am, Bella thought to herself. She wasn't sure whether that was the whole truth, but she was determined to keep telling herself that until it was.

Edward ended up being gone for a full five months. No one in the manor understood why he had been gone so long: it was unprecedented in the history of the Cullens for someone to be away for such a time when they weren't off at war. There were whisperings that Edward had gone on a tour of Europe, playing croquet with the kings of various countries. Other reports said that he had gone east, and had created his own harem in Persia.

Finally word filtered back about Edward's true whereabouts: he had travelled to London, where he had stayed for a couple of months dealing with the Cullens' business and dealing with his fathers' interests. Then he had travelled to France, spending some time in Paris.

In the meantime, Bella continued to visit Jacob. They had shared a few kisses, each as stiff and chaste as the first. Bella didn't particularly enjoy them, but she could feel Jacob's stiffness sometimes, so she knew he did. He seemed to shy to ask for them though- which Bella was glad of- and usually they met and parted without touching lips.

After five months, Edward returned. The manor was frenzied with excitement: everyone talking about the fact that Edward had met someone in London. Her name was Lady Caroline, and she was a cousin to the King and a great beauty. She was the son of a duke, and her family was extremely well-respected in England. All of British society was aflutter over their courtship, with many suggesting they would be second only to the royal family in breeding.

Alice and Rosalie had been in the midst of planning their joint wedding when Carlisle had passed, and they had had to wait the customary six months before having any kind of celebration. Now those six months were nearing the end, and the manor was gearing up for the wedding reception.

There was a huge amount of laundry to do, as well as the preparation of decorations and food. Both Alice and Rosalie were very interested in fashion and design, and they had eagerly planned out all the ornamentation for their wedding. Bella suspected that it might have helped them to be able to focus on something else during this time of mourning, and the entire household was glad to have something fun to look forward to.

A couple of days before the wedding, Bella was chopping radishes in the kitchen when a group of nearby maids had begun discussing Lady Caroline. Apparently, Edward was bringing her as his guest to the wedding, a high honor indeed. He had never brought a girl to any ball or family function before, preferring to go alone and work his charms on whichever lucky lady caught his eye.

Bella felt a sharp pang in her heart at the news and she wasn't sure why. She felt a strange sense of despair at the news, a feeling of utter aloneness. She dropped her knife, and motioned to Angela, who nodded at her. Angela allowed her to leave from time to time, knowing she was going to visit Jacob.

Even though it was the middle of the workday, Bella had an overwhelming urge to be near him. It hit her like this, sometimes: she wold think of Edward, and almost instantly she would want to be with Jacob. It was a feeling like desperation: as if she wasn't near Jacob, away from her thoughts, she would choke or suffocate. The air suddenly seemed heavy and toxic, and the antidote to that was being with Jacob. It made her feel not so alone.

Jacob usually went along with this, finding a way to leave his work and walk with Bella to their place by the pond. This day was no exception, and he and Bella walked together to their rock by the pond. But seeing it today, Bella didn't feel the same sense of calmness she usually did. She found herself almost wishing that Edward had followed through on his angry promise to plant over their clearing. She didn't know why she wanted that, other than that it would seem like some proof of his existence, some tangible evidence that he hadn't vanished into thin air.

Bella sat on the rock and tried to pretend to be interested as Jacob talked about the work he was doing on a new saddle. She smiled and asked the appropriate follow-up questions. Finally, Jacob asked her what was happening in her life.

"Not too much, just more wedding preparations."

Jacob said nothing, and Bella looked through the trees to the manor.

There was only one thing on her mind, but Jacob was the exact wrong person to broach the subject with. She searched for a way to start the discussion politely. Even though she knew that it was probably stupid to even mention Edward, she felt an overwhelming urge to do so, whatever the consequences. His name kept running through her head like a taunt, and she wanted Jacob to say something to diffuse that, to drive him out of her mind.

"And by," she said, trying to sound lighthearted. "You don't have to worry about Edward anymore. I just heard that he is taking some noblewoman with him to the ball."

Jacob's eyebrows shot up in surprise, and he grinned. "That's great!"

Bella gave a weak smile back. Somehow, Jacob's glee at the news made her feel worse. She didn't know what she had been hoping for; probably something along the lines of, "I don't care who Edward is courting, I saw the way he looked at you and I know he could never forget about you."

But of course Jacob wouldn't say that, because it wasn't true. She hadn't meant anything at all to Edward. He had been distracted by her for a few moments, but she was a mere maid, a momentary diversion for him. He had never cared for her in any real way, and Jacob knew that as well as she did.

"I guess that means, he'll finally leave you alone, for good," Jacob said, leaning down to press his forehead into hers. "I'm so glad to have you all to myself."

Bella bit her lip, fighting the urge to pull away from him.

"I know, I'm so relieved." Bella's voice sounded hollow and false to her own ears, but Jacob didn't seem to notice.

He still smiled, his forehead pressing against hers. "Someday soon that time in our lives is just going to seem like a bad dream."

Bella nodded, thinking it already did seem like a dream.

Like something that had happened to another girl, a girl faraway from the one standing there with Jacob, feeling trapped and overwhelmed.