Once upon a time, a child dreamed that all toys were alive and that they could listen to thoughts. The idea intrigued him so much that he became obsessed with the idea of listening to what dwelled within people's hearts as well. He evolved and became a toy, or something that largely resembled one. But still his dream remained out of reach.
One day, he found an abandoned house filled with books. Those books taught him the secrets to open his mind and enter other people's souls. When he heard the first melodies, he thought that everything had been worth them. But not everybody had marvelous music in their hearts. Vicious noises born from pain disturbed him immensely. He tried to avoid them, but soon it became impossible. Millions of cries kept him awake every night after Seraphimon destroyed the Cloud Continent.
The dreamer became a priest and threw himself into his studies, in search of a way to fix those noises. He eventually found a solution for individual cases, but nothing that could counter that massive despair.
To make things worse, the woman he had sworn to serve gradually lost her loving melodies, that even in the beginning had been weak. They were replaced by a horrible sad song, not too different from the sounds that came from the doomed. He had to switch sides, otherwise he would not have peace. He stole a powerful book and allied himself to those who sought to destroy all those unpleasant noises.
Then, the dreamer lived in reclusion. Occasionally, he visited the world of humans and rescued toys. With the help of the book, he gave them lives and made them happy. Many human children he came across had good melodies in their hearts and pleased him. Those who didn't have them could be fixed.
What he never imagined was that he would run into a girl whose heart was like a rock opera. Because of that child, he was taken to hell, closer than ever to the horrid sounds he tried so hard to escape from.
He thought that he had completely lost his mind when the clown toy he had destroyed not long ago appeared before him. But that was not Mr. Raindrop. The one before him was someone everybody had heard of. Someone who should have a song unlike any other. The dreamer had to listen to that song. It was the only way to break free from his torment.
The visitor granted his wish. Monzaemon listened to that song and to nothing else, ever again.
Chapter 28: Tachikawa interview
When Mimi saw the door of her apartment, the handmade placard that showed the smiling faces of her parents and herself lit something in her heart. As she opened the door, left her shoes at the entrance and stepped into the living room, her eyes got wetter. The place she had lived for the last four years seemed brighter and bigger than ever, to the point of forcing her to blink and adjust her eyes. The warmth inside that home was not comparable to the coldness outside. It almost felt like it could burn her.
Mimi left her wheeled luggage at the entrance and closed the door behind her. The bag she had taken to the Digital World was on her shoulder, with the digivice stuck at its strap. She called for her mother but Satoe wasn't there. A note left on the white shelf informed her that the woman had gone after special ingredients for a new culinary invention and would take some time to return. The girl imagined that the note was meant to be read by her father, Keisuke, who would return from work by the end of the day.
Despite her parents not being there, the apartment retained some of the cozy feeling that Mimi remembered. But it was not quite the same feeling she had ingrained in her heart. Nothing was quite the same, it was all somewhat off. But it should be just because she had missed those things so much.
The orange couch in the living room had six fluffy pillows on it, all of them in welcoming warm colors. Mimi could jump on the couch and take a nap on those pillows, as she had done so many times before. Maybe she could also look for remains of her birthday cake in the kitchen's fridge. Would there still be any piece left after so long?
She felt a fleeting and minuscule stab in her chest as she remembered that in her world it hadn't been so long since July 27th. From her parents' perspective, they had cheerfully said goodbye to her in that same morning, wishing for lots of fun in the summer camp. Not unlike her school friends in the bus, who wanted to chat about pointless things, not suspecting where she had been and what she had witnessed. All of them so unconcerned, complaining about the sudden snow and wishing for their warm beds and tasty winter meals. Mimi watched them, somewhat bothered, wondering if any of them had ever parted from people whose death was imminent or had themselves feared for their lives. That very thought disturbed her deeply, as did the understanding that, a few days before, she would have acted just like those children.
"Are those people your family?" Palmon suddenly asked, pointing to the several portraits in the shelf. Among books, vinyl discs and movie tapes, various photos showed the girl and her parents smiling widely, mostly during trips. One that had been taken in a ski station in the mountains caught her attention. The girl remembered how in that night she had gotten scared of the howling wind and her parents had soothed her. "There's nothing to fear, we'll protect you from everything," they had promised.
That photo had been taken only six or seven months before. Why did that memory feel like something that belonged to a previous life? She was sure that, now, no howling wind would make her afraid. There were much worse horrors in the world, horrors her parents could not protect her from.
"Mimi, what's the matter?" Palmon asked in a concerned voice.
"Sorry." Mimi muttered, rubbing her eyes before any tear fell. "I think I'm homesick..."
"Your parents seem to be nice people." Palmon commented.
"They're great." Mimi confirmed, putting a small smile on her lips. "My parents are the most upbeat people I know."
"That makes sense. They are your parents, after all."
The girl could tell that her friend had said that as a compliment. She sustained the smile but something felt off. The implication that she was an upbeat person like the couple made Mimi uneasy. Perhaps that was true but it didn't feel like it in that moment.
"Do you want to see my bedroom?" The girl invited, leading the way. The bedroom had light pink walls and white curtains at the window. The bed was large and was covered by a frilly magenta sheet. A white wardrobe close to the entrance door and opposite from the bed had drawings of various flowers on it. There was a nightstand close to the girl's bed that had a lampshade decorated with little stars and planets. About a meter away, a dressing table with a large oval mirror and a chair were visible.
On every surface of the bedroom there were stuffed animals and plushy dolls. Mimi felt cold sweat covering her forehead. She had to resist the urge to pick up all of them and hide them inside the wardrobe, where their eyes wouldn't be able to bother her.
Those toys had been hers for years and Mimi thought that she adored them. But now, instead of bringing memories of good times, those objects reminded her of a horrid hotel.
"Hey, Mimi…" Palmon called.
"Yeah?" The girl murmured, turning to her.
"Are you thinking about Monzaemon?" The digimon's voice was uncharacteristically low.
Mimi trembled, embracing herself.
"I don't want to remember him." She said.
"You don't have the luxury of forgetting him." Palmon stated. "We must always remind ourselves that evil exists, otherwise we can't fight it."
"Evil…" Mimi muttered, bothered by that word.
"Monzaemon was evil." Palmon affirmed. "He brainwashed your friends, destroyed the clown toy-"
"Why are you bringing him up?" The girl questioned. "Why can't we let all those unpleasant things behind us and enjoy this moment of peace?"
Palmon stayed silent for a couple of minutes, bearing a serious expression that made her partner shiver.
"When I fought Skullsatamon, I remembered my previous life." The digimon said.
"Previous life?" Mimi was startled to hear that. Was Palmon talking about a life from before she had met the girl? Did that mean that the digimon had died and been reborn, just like Patamon?
"I lived in a Digital World plagued with violence." Palmon began her story. "And then, one day, a powerful digimon that said to have been chosen by Fate appeared and vowed to bring peace to us. First, he massacred the most powerful factions. After that, he went after gangs of bandits. Almost everybody approved what he was doing." Her voice became bitter. "Good digimon praised that guy and justified his actions. When he began to punish anyone who criticized him and expressed his wish to be the Emperor of the World, it became harder for those digimon to defend him. But it didn't matter. Their previous omission had already allowed him to acquire too much power. Nevertheless, I fought him… maybe it was arrogance or an excess of hope but I believed for a time that I could free the world from that tyrant. But in the end he just killed me, just like he had done with all the others before me and after me... I can only wonder how many innocent lives were lost until he was finally stopped."
Upon hearing that, Mimi was at a loss of words. She had no idea her partner had that kind of past. It was true that Palmon seemed to be more mature and level-headed than the other digimon, but to imagine that she had fought a tyrant and perished in his hands long ago was too much.
"Are you alright?" Mimi brought herself to ask, looking at her partner with concern.
"I've only remembered that a few hours ago." Palmon replied, looking down. "I'm not sure how I'm feeling…"
"It makes sense that you used to be a warrior." The girl murmured. "Remember when you told me that you had been born to fight for the Digital World, back in Aurora Town? You said that it was your reason to live… your destiny…"
"We're all essentially the same, aren't we?" The digimon asked. "Even if we die and have another opportunity to make different choices, we can't change who we are, right?"
"I don't like that way of thinking." Mimi let her know. "I believe that people can change themselves if they really want to. We're all free to choose our paths."
Palmon remained in silence, glancing at the floor. The human wondered about what was going through her friend's mind.
Sudden hard knocks were heard coming from the apartment's front door.
"Your parents?" Palmon questioned in low voice.
"They both have keys." The other informed. "Besides, why would any of them knock so desperately?"
Mimi slowly returned to the living room and approached the door, Palmon close behind. The girl asked who was there but nobody answered.
"Be careful, Mimi!" Palmon warned.
"This is my world. We're safe here." Mimi assured her partner.
When the fourth grader opened the door, a trembling little girl with brown hair was standing there. She was wearing a pink coat and was holding a piece of paper in her shaking hands. Tears streamed from her eyes.
"T-Tachikawa Mimi-san?" She asked in a murmur.
Mimi nodded, too shocked by the vision to reply properly.
"Who are you?" Palmon asked, coming from behind Mimi. The little kid didn't seem surprised to see her.
"You c-can call me Hikari… b-but who I am is not important…" The smaller girl said. "I-I'm very sorry, Mimi-san… I'm sorry… y-your mother was..."
As that child told her what had happened to Satoe, Mimi felt as if the warmth of her home was completely sucked away. Coldness cut through her, tearing her heart apart.
"The phone is not connecting! There's just a buzzing sound!" Mimi shouted, slamming the telephone back to its place on the kitchen's wall. She threw the notepad with the other chosen children's phone numbers at the floor. "Why didn't I ask for their addresses?!"
Shaking from head to toes, she glanced at Palmon and Hikari sitting across each other at the table, a few steps away. While Mimi had jumped to call her friends after hearing that her mother was in danger, the digimon asked the timid little girl to sit down and explain better what had happened.
"I was walking home and having ice cream." The child's voice was barely audible. "The street was deserted… but then I saw a lady... she wearing a yellow long coat with drawings of pink roses…"
Mom's favorite coat… Mimi thought, feeling her heart being squeezed.
"And then you saw a huge yellow teddy bear wearing a trench coat?" Palmon asked.
"Yes." Hikari confirmed while keeping her eyes on the piece of paper she had put on the table. "He approached her from behind without her noticing it… then the lady fainted suddenly and he caught her, not even slightly surprised… I-I asked what was going on." A couple of tears fell from her eyes and she raised her shaking right hand to wipe them. "He picked a paper from one of his pockets and gave it t-to me… he told me to come to this place and tell Tachikawa Mimi-san to meet him at the address written on the paper… otherwise, Tachikawa Satoe-san would meet a terrible fate…"
Mimi knew that the kidnapper had to be Monzaemon. He must have had escaped to the human world after she had torched his spell book or maybe he just had hid himself and waited for an opportunity to come after her family for revenge. Despite her wishes that she would never have to think about him again, Palmon had mentioned that monster less than ten minutes before, likely because of the stuffed toys the girl had in her bedroom. All that had happened was too strange to be a coincidence.
How did Monzaemon know who her mother was or where her family lived? Had he somehow seen that in the girl's mind? Mimi brought both her hands to her head and slightly pushed her hair. Those were not the questions she should be worried about.
"I'm sorry I couldn't stop him." Hikari cried, covering her face with her little hands hidden in fluffy white gloves. "I-I'm sorry I let him take her away… I'm sorry… I wasn't capable…"
"Hey, it's okay!" Mimi approached the younger child and placed her hands on Hikari's shoulders. When the little kid uncovered her face, the older girl made sure to show her a calming smile, or the best attempt of one she could muster. "None of this was your fault! You were just in the bad place in the bad time. But I'm glad that you came to tell me what happened. I can save my Mom thanks to that!"
"It's a trap!" Hikari affirmed. "You know that, don't you?" She added, grabbing the paper from the table and handing it to Mimi, who picked it. "He wants you to go to the docks by yourself! What he plans for you… I… I c-can't even…"
"Mimi is not going there alone." Palmon assured the kid. "I'll protect her from Monzaemon, just like I did in the past!"
"That's right!" Mimi felt more confident after hearing her partner's vow. "Palmon now can evolve to perfect level! We can do this! We'll definitely save Mama!"
"Evolve…" Hikari muttered. Her eyes landed on the small machine stuck to the strap of the bag Mimi was still carrying. The younger child studied the object with attention and seriousness.
"It's called 'digivice.'" The older girl guessed that the little kid was curious about it.
"It connects me to Mimi and makes me stronger." The digimon explained. "Also, the digivice was the thing that brought her and the other chosen children to the Digital World."
"Oi, Palmon, let's not overflow Hikari-chan with information. It's been a difficult day for her." Mimi told her partner, letting go of Hikari and turning her body to Palmon.
"She seems to have accepted the concept of digimon well before arriving here." Palmon pointed out.
"Monzaemon probably told her the basics." Mimi wondered in loud voice, turning to the little girl again. "It's amazing that you had the strength of spirit to come here and tell us all that, after running into that guy. It must've been really scary."
Hikari furrowed her eyebrows and looked down.
"I'm sorry for not standing up to him." She murmured, ashamed.
"You've done more than enough, Hikari-chan!" Mimi assured her. "Don't demand too much from yourself. It's normal to be afraid in this situation. I was terrified the first time I faced Monzaemon, maybe even more than you! Plus, I doubt I was even half as brave as you when I was your age."
"I would like to go with you." Hikari said, looking up to Mimi. A spark of determination was visible in her eyes. "I want to help."
"It'd be hard for me to protect both Mimi and you." Palmon said.
Mimi thought that her partner had been a little blunt but agreed with what she had said. Besides, Hikari didn't have a partner to look out for her and had already gone beyond her limits. The smaller child had cried so much and was still shaking a little, despite the strong front she was now trying to muster. Anyone should be too emotionally strained to do more than she already had done. It wouldn't be right to allow that kid to disregard her well-being even further.
"I appreciate your concern and good intentions, Hikari-chan. But I can't let you come along. I'm sorry about it." Mimi had an apologetic tone. "For now, you should take care of yourself."
After hearing that, Hikari raised her eyebrows slightly and her eyes widened. Mimi had the impression that the other girl was debating whether to say something in response. In the end, the younger child stood up and walked to the apartment's front door.
After crossing the door, the little girl stood still for a moment.
"Next time, I'll be of more help." She vowed, without turning back.
"I hope we'll meet again soon." Mimi said.
"Sooner than you expect." Hikari muttered, walking away.
The fourth grader took another look at the address written on the paper the other had given her.
"She didn't tell us everything." Palmon observed.
"I don't feel like she lied to us." Mimi commented. "Hikari-chan has a mysterious air around her but I believe she's a good kid."
"We should go now!" Palmon spoke with conviction. "I swear I'll do everything I can to save your mother!"
Lilymon flew to the destination indicated on the paper, carrying Mimi firmly in her arms. They were high enough that it would be difficult for anyone to spot them. However, they barely saw anyone on the snow filled streets. Once the digimon landed on the roof of the warehouse that had a public phone booth in the front and the sea at its back, Mimi searched for cookies and a bottle of tea in her bag, to give them to her partner. Lilymon consumed them quickly, recovering the energy she had spent. The girl looked sadly at the now empty package and bottle, reminiscing about the day Tamaki had given that food to her.
"Mimi, I can see both of them!" Lilymon said, peeking into a close roof window. The girl kneeled on the roof and looked through the glass as well. The interior of the warehouse had a thin layer of snow on its floor and several high metallic shelves filled with various boxes. Right below the window, a woman with wavy orange hair wearing a yellow coat with rose drawings was seemingly asleep, lying on the snow. Monzaemon was standing close to her. He looked exactly like the girl remembered him.
"Mama!" Mimi could feel her heart racing in her chest. Was the woman hurt? Did the toy monster do something to her? The girl gulped, remembering how Monzaemon had dismantled and rearranged her friends' souls and wondering if he had done the same to Satoe. The fourth grader wanted to open the window immediately but her partner stopped her in time. Mimi glared at the digimon, who looked at her in a disapproving way.
"We have to sneak in and surprise him!" Lilymon told her. "If we rush in there without a plan, we'll be simply falling into his trap!"
Then, a buzzing sound came from the glass of the roof window, which started to vibrate. Suddenly, it was launched from its spot, going upwards in great speed, propelled by a fierce gust of wind coming from inside the warehouse. Lilymon grabbed Mimi by the right arm reflexively and tried to fly with her to a safe place. However, the gust of wind reversed its trajectory and forcibly pushed them into the large square hole where the glass had been before. Lilymon was able to use her wings to slow both of them down, so they didn't hit the floor at full force. The fairy fell on her back and the girl fell on her partner. Mimi quickly slid to the side and got up.
"Sorry for bringing you in like that." Monzaemon had a tranquil tone of voice. "I couldn't wait any longer to talk to you again, Tachikawa Mi-"
Lilymon immediately stood up and charged against Monzaemon, pushing him to the end of a long corridor between two shelves. She punched the bear, sending him crashing into the wall with great force.
"I won't let you do any harm to Mimi or her family, Monzaemon!" Lilymon roared, delivering consecutive punches on his face. The toy began to giggle.
"What's so funny?!" Lilymon questioned, stopping her right fist a few centimeters from his face. The teddy bear had an immense grin that deeply disturbed her.
"It's funny how everybody keeps assuming I'm Monzaemon." He explained, bemused. "I can understand it when they see this body but not long ago a former priest made the same mistake just by lurking into my mind. It never ceases to amaze me how biases can make people miss things that should be obvious."
"You're not Monzaemon…?" Lilymon murmured as cold sweat covered her face.
"Monzaemon was imprisoned right after the incident in the hotel. His psychic abilities almost drove him mad." He informed. "I appeared to him and as soon as I let him know who I was, he begged me for enlightenment. It was too much for his mind, though." He chuckled. "Monzaemon's mind was destroyed by his own recklessness and I got an empty shell to wear. Everything worked out for everybody. Don't you agree, Banchou?"
Involuntarily, Lilymon took a couple of steps back. She stretched her arms at her front and formed a flower cannon pointed to Monzaemon. Nevertheless, she didn't fire it.
"What do you know about me?!" She questioned. "Who are you?!"
"I know everything about you." He had a cheerful tone. "I've been watching you since the beginning. I saw you rising to fight Seraphimon and being murdered by him. And I arranged for you to meet him again in this new life and set things straight."
"Arranged?" Lilymon began to shake. "T-That's not possible!"
"Did you think it was all just a series of coincidences?" The other inquired.
"What else could it be?" The fairy asked, afraid of the answer.
He stayed quiet for a few moments, smiling at her. His response came out suddenly and destructively:
"Fate."
In her previous life, she used to think that Fate was nothing more than a story told by self-righteous megalomaniacs. That was how she saw that angel. When she heard Jyou's story, still without remembering the past, she felt a knot forming in her throat and horror rising from the depths of her heart. Not so much for what that creature had done to Koushiro, but for something else.
Now, it all made sense. Subconsciously, she had the confirmation of a terrible truth. Seraphimon wasn't just a tyrant with delusions of greatness. He had in fact been chosen by the Spirit of the World. God had willingly given power to an atrocious being that brought death and destruction upon countless innocents.
And that same God had brought the tyrant back and disguised him as her friend.
Poyomon, Tokomon, Patamon… the biggest cry-baby among the chosen digimon. But also the sweetest and most caring among them. The one who had the warmest smiles and purest tears. He didn't know about his past. After knowing, he swore he wouldn't return to his old ways. How could she believe him? She knew what he was capable of! However, she also knew Patamon. Or she thought she knew.
What was his true nature? What did she want him to be?
"You're going to get tired of pointing that canon to me." Fate commented, pointing at the flower cannon Lilymon was still sustaining. "Aren't you going to fire it?"
"Even if I kill Monzaemon, I won't be able to kill you." Lilymon said, keeping her arms up. "But if you try anything, I'll shoot."
"If my host dies I'll just retreat to my medium in the human world. That's to say: the snow." He let her know. "I'm everywhere, all the time. Aware of everything. And nobody is capable of bringing me harm."
"Did you bring me here just to show off?" She inquired.
"I just want to talk to you." The other said.
He wanted to talk to her. He had abducted Mimi's mother and scared a child just so he could talk to her. Talk about what? With what purpose?
"You don't give a damn, do you?" Lilymon asked. "To you destroying lives is a form of fun, isn't that right?"
"Well, I can't deny it's entertaining." Fate smirked. "Do you know what's my favorite hobby? To mess with people's heads. Humans and digimon alike like to believe that they're special. If a deity appears before them and feeds their ego, what do you think would happen?"
"Is that what you did to Seraphimon?" She inquired. "You filled his head and convinced him that he was a savior and that everything that he did was right?"
"I simply told him what he wanted to hear." The other explained. "He wanted to end the violence and bring peace to his world. And, for that, he wanted power. What he did with what I gave him was his responsibility."
"Didn't you know what he was going to do?" She questioned, irritated.
"Of course I knew." The Spirit confirmed. "I needed things to play out like that."
"Why?" Lilymon asked, despite knowing the answer for that. Everything was a game for that creature. It molded lives the way it wanted and crushed them to have fun. Every digimon was nothing more than a toy for Fate. Even her…
"I don't intend to let you know about my goals." He answered. "That's not why I brought you here."
"You brought me here to play games with me."Lilymon spoke with spite. "You've been playing with me since the beginning. Was it funny to see me rebelling against your chosen one? To see how my efforts and hopes were pointless?"
She felt that she could start to cry but held the tears in. Lilymon had learned that trick a long time ago. Her followers had looked up to her; she had to assure them that she was strong and brave. They counted on her to save them. She wanted to do that and tried so hard. Fought so hard and relentlessly, not knowing it was a lost battle.
"I brought you here because I want to help you." Fate told her, gently.
"Do you expect me to believe in that?!" Lilymon raised her voice. "You don't want to help anyone!"
"I want to help your partner and the other chosen children. I wouldn't have chosen them if that wasn't my intention."
"Chosen them…?" She repeated slowly.
"I put the data of those children in the computers of the Academy. Then, Kanda chose you and the other digimon because of your compatible personalities to theirs." He smiled largely. "In retrospect, it's interesting that Mimi and Takeru had so many disagreements. You and Patamon were once at opposite sides but now you're allies! Now, you can overcome your differences and combine your forces for the sake of-"
"THAT MURDERER IS NOT MY ALLY!" Lilymon roared. "He destroyed entire villages! He massacred innocents! He killed my friends! HE KILLED ME!"
She could no longer keep the tears inside when the memories of her past life resurfaced more rapidly. Lilymon saw herself back in the battlefields that reeked of blood. The dying voices of those left in agony begged for her help. All she could do was to fight. All she could hope for was to stop that tyrant.
"Don't you believe he changed?" The Spirit questioned. "Haven't you gotten to know him well enough in this life?"
"Lies!" Lilymon shouted. "Everything I thought I knew about him was false! Isn't he essentially the same mass killer from that time? You can't change who you are! Not really!"
Even when she didn't remember, she knew who she was. She knew she had to fight for something greater than herself. She believed in justice. And although she had come to know the truth, her combative spirit wasn't broken. Even if she knew that it was probably a lost battle, she wouldn't give up.
If Lilymon was still the same, how could Patamon not be? He easily gave in to Fate when Fangmon had him cornered. What would stop him from doing that again? What would stop him from believing once more that he was a savior and that everybody that opposed him deserved to be crushed?
If nothing else, if nobody else, it would have to be her.
"You can't evolve further if you can't overcome your past." Fate had a somber voice. "That stubbornness will only make things harder for you."
"Things have never been easy for me." Lilymon contested.
She shot her cannon at the toy monster, disintegrating his body. That might have been a futile victory, but it was still a win, nevertheless. Not unlike the ones she had conquered in her time as the strongest fairy.
Fleeting, small steps forward that would eventually feel futile. But did they feel great when she was taking them. She felt at those times that, against all odds, she could mold her own destiny. And that made her proud.
Mimi rushed to her mother and kneeled next to her. The woman had snowflakes stuck in her hair and a peaceful expression on her face.
"Mama, wake up!" Mimi pleaded, shaking Satoe's shoulder and fighting the tears coming to her eyes. Please, be okay! She begged mentally.
The woman slowly opened her eyes and looked at Mimi. An almost unnoticeable smile appeared on the mother's lips. That sent chills down the girl's spine. Whenever Satoe smiled, it was always largely and overtly cheerfully. Her eyes used to shine with joy whenever she saw her daughter. But now, the woman's eyes had not even a spark of glee in them. Mimi couldn't recognize her mother in that person.
"What did he do to you?" Mimi questioned, feeling her heart tearing itself apart. Many tears escaped her eyes at once.
"Your mother will be perfectly fine." The woman said, calmly. "She's just sleeping right now."
Horror froze Mimi in her spot. The woman sat up and faced her.
"It's a pleasure to finally speak to you, Tachikawa Mimi."
The girl crawled back and then shakily stood up. She watched the woman in her front rising to her feet as well while letting her arms fall to the sides of her body. The little smile she had been showing was replaced by an enormous grin.
"Who are you?" Mimi inquired, grabbing her bag and holding it in front of her body.
"I'm known by many names." The other replied. "My creator had named me 'Homeostasis,' after entities he had encountered in other universes. Digimon have given me other names. The most common ones in the Digital World you came to know are 'Spirit of the World' and 'Fate.' I have to say that my favorite was the one Kido Jyou gave me." She chuckled. "I think it was… 'dumb stinky faulty machine.'"
"You…" Mimi uttered, letting the bag escape from her hands with its strap hanging from her left shoulder. All reminiscence of fear she had was being swallowed by an eruption of rage that shook her core. She glared at the woman and shouted:
"YOU'RE THE THING THAT TRIED TO KILL KOUSHIRO-KUN!"
"Marvelous!" The other exclaimed, clapping her hands enthusiastically. "I've always admired your ferocity!"
"Shut the hell up, you demon!" Mimi ordered, clenching her fists. "What kind of twisted creature torments a boy by pretending to be his dead parents and telling him to-" The girl gasped as tears burned her eyes. She tried to take air in but just coughed, slightly bending her body and putting her hands on her knees. Sweat covered her face as she lifted it to once again look at the creature possessing her mother's body. The Spirit of the World no longer sustained the same vicious grin from before. In its place, there was a cheerful smile identical to the one that was Satoe's signature feature. The difference was that her eyes had no sparkle at all, showing a dark streak alien to the daughter. Mimi felt so sick she thought she could throw up.
"I simply gave a self-destructive child what he truly wanted." Fate said that with ease.
"HE DIDN'T WANT THAT!" Mimi roared, straightening her posture.
"Izumi Koushiro deserved it, regardless." The other stated in an icy tone, dropping the smile. "He deserves so much worse than what I've done to him."
"What do you mean by that?" Mimi asked, disturbed. "Koushiro-kun is a good person! He doesn't deserve anything awful like what you did!"
A spasm was visible on the corner of the woman's mouth. Her eyebrows twitched and she inhaled heavily, crossing her arms. Mimi noticed how her body language became more rigid, as if trying to enclosure something.
"813." Fate said in low voice. "That's how many digimon died in Kanda's base because of the crack Izumi Koushiro destabilized to enable your escape."
"He did it to save our lives! There was no other choice!" Mimi shouted, taking a step forward.
"Of course there was another choice." The other stated. "You could've surrendered and tried to talk to your captors. Maybe you could all understand one another. They could be willing to listen and you could find a peaceful resolution."
Mimi was paralyzed by the mocking tone present in her mother's voice.
"Stop!" Mimi ordered. Those digimon were determined to kill them in a horrific way. They wouldn't listen! The children couldn't afford to risk themselves like that. There was no other choice! She repeated to herself. That thought, however, left a sour taste in her mouth.
"But isn't everything simply a matter of different points of views?" Fate insisted, giving her a disapproving look. "The girl who made a speech filled with hope to a town torn by hatred should've tried to solve that situation without hurting anyone, don't you think? Shouldn't you have chosen a better solution than brutality?"
"Enough!" Mimi cried, shutting her eyes closed and covering her ears with her hands. "We would have died for sure if we had done that! Nobody would agree with that idea anyway!"
"And now you're shifting the blame to the others." Fate commented. "You just stood by and let everything happen. In that sense, you think there's no blood on your hands."
"I'm not shifting the blame!" The girl denied. Her heart was beating so fast that she could almost listen to it. "Nobody was in fault… we were just trying to survive!"
"Then, what you did was the right decision?" The Spirit of the World inquired. "Do you acknowledge that the annihilation of Vamdemon's army was worth your survival? It was acceptable to sacrifice 813 lives to save 10?"
"Of course it wasn't right!" Mimi admitted, opening her eyes and letting thick tears fall from them. "I wish nobody had died! I wish our situation wasn't so desperate! But that's not how it happened! We did what we could do!"
"I see." Fate said. "It was a desperate situation. One can't expect too much from people under extraordinary circumstances. You all were scared of death, isn't that right?"
"We were scared…" The child confirmed. "Everything was happening so fast… we didn't have enough time to think things through!"
"If you had that time, would you have done anything different?"
Mimi didn't have an answer for that. If they had more time… it wasn't simply a matter of time, though. They were all trapped, without any way to escape or to communicate with the invaders. Maybe if Mimi could have talked to them… would it have made any difference? Would her good intentions reach monsters that had hated the chosen children since long before she arrived there?
Etemon had heard her, but that was one case. Didn't Babamon then murder the Mayor? Didn't she put the blame on the chosen children? What effect did her inspired speech have on the mob of angry digimon that attacked Jyou and Koushiro in Aurora Town? Had Kanda not arrived there, would they still be alive? Yet, there was so much praise for her ability with words. For her empathy…
It had begun naturally, with her simply wanting to help the other children. In which point did that begin to feel like something she was supposed to do? But the worst was not that. Despite people telling her how admirable her heart was, she could still sense veiled criticism.
She was kindhearted but naive.
She would have to compromise.
She would have to fight someday.
Mimi was constantly being pulled in opposite directions while doing her best to stay true to herself. That was the most important thing. The child didn't want to lose who she was. She didn't want to change herself to be what others wanted. Mimi enjoyed being herself and wanted to stay as herself.
And despite all her effort, she couldn't stop feeling she wasn't the same anymore.
Her home felt different.
Her toys bothered her.
Her schoolmates in the bus annoyed her.
Now, she was being questioned by a demon that had possessed her mother's body. And that demon was calling her out for her contradictions. As if it was entitled to pass judgment on her.
"Who the hell do you think you are?" Mimi's question came out in the coldest tone she had ever used.
The woman slightly raised her eyebrows and paled. Then, she put on a serious yet serene expression and replied:
"I am the Spirit of the World."
"Do you think you're some kind of god?" Mimi inquired. The other took almost a minute to speak again:
"I've been in 362 different universes, from their beginnings to their ends. Nothing is as old as me. Nor as knowledgeable. Nor as powerful."
"Oh, I've heard that story from Jyou-san already." Mimi said. "I've also heard that you gave power to a tyrant that murdered my friend a long time ago."
"Then I made his sister murder him." Fate added. "After that, the Academy brought the first chosen children to the Digital World and they trapped her in a different dimension. Following that, Kanda took control of the Academy, fought the remains of the Sanctuary and brought you to that world, believing that Nanomon had chosen you."
"You let it all happen!" Mimi spoke with spite. "You let Tamaki-san and the others, Palmon and uncountable digimon suffer and did nothing to help them! And yet you think you can call me a hypocrite?!"
The girl clenched her fists and glared at the other with more intensity.
"I didn't want to go to the Digital World!" She stated. "I didn't want to see anyone dying or suffering! I didn't enjoy any of that! But I still did my best! And considering that I had never gone through anything similar before, the best I could do was a lot! I'm not going to stay still and let you shame me for not doing as well as you wanted! I'm not going to let you shame me for wanting to survive and come back home! I might have the crest of purity, I might sincerely want to help others, but don't you think for one second that I'm the kind of person who would gladly sacrifice herself for values! I like myself and I like being alive too damn much to be that selfless!"
The woman began to laugh.
"You're truly splendid!" The Spirit praised her. "No matter what I do, you keep on finding your way back up. You're like a flower that blooms in adversity."
"What kind of game are you playing now?" The girl inquired. "What do you want from me?!"
"I want you to be as strong as possible and fulfill the role I've prepared for you." Fate replied.
"What…?" Mimi mumbled, paling intensively.
"Why do you think I'm called 'Fate' by so many?" The other continued. "I stopped being a mere watcher a long time ago. Everything that happened in the Digital World you visited…" The woman took a few steps forward, getting closer to the child. "All the wars, all the deaths, all the hatred, all the heartbreaks, the traumas… I arranged for everything to happen that way. All of those unfortunate creatures were living the roles I prepared for them. When a creature is as old as me, people can become outstandingly predictable."
Mimi thought that she would crumble at any moment under the weight of those words. Various memories flashed before her eyes: the original chosen children and their despair, the misery her friends went through, Angemon turning into particles of light, Devimon's sad expression when he died, the fears of the inhabitants of Aurora Town, Tonosamageckomon's hopes of a better future, Babamon's betrayal, Kuwagamon's agonizing death, Palmon's former life…
All of that had happened because Fate wanted it?
"Why?"
That was the only word that made its way out of the girl's lips. The woman showed her a large and warm smile, too similar to the one Satoe used to have.
"Have you ever seen someone playing chess alone?" Fate asked, sounding nostalgic. "Imagine that the pieces are alive and that they don't know they're in a board game. Imagine that they think they're making their choices freely. The Queen, able to cross as many houses as she wants in whatever direction she wants, would believe she is the freest and strongest of them all. Maybe they would believe the player is a god that has their best interests in heart. The pieces would keep on slaughtering one another, believing completely that they're right and that god is on their side. But in this case, 'god' is commanding both armies and gets to decide which one wins solely based on a whim. It all boils down to which outcome is more interesting. Once the game is over, the player can rearrange the pieces and start again. That entertainment can last indefinitely."
"Entertainment…?" Mimi had no life left in her voice. "Is that what they… what we are to you...?"
"Hey, don't worry!" The Spirit of the World adopted a cheerful tone. "Right now, I'm rooting for you and the other chosen children! As long as you don't get boring, you're going to win!"
Boring… entertainment… chess pieces… those words echoed in her mind louder and louder. Mimi was feeling increasingly sick and wished to run from that place. When she was little and felt bad, the girl would tell her mother everything that bothered her, sometimes crying on her lap. Satoe would caress her head and promise that everything would be alright. Mimi would look at her mother's smile and believe in those words. But now, the person that had brought her peace her whole life and the smile that had saved her for so many years were being used to bring her despair. Was that another joy destroyed by the Digital World?
"Am I your pawn…?" She asked in a pained whisper. All the decisions she had made were predicted by that creature? All the times she thought to be choosing her paths freely, was she in fact doing what the Spirit wanted? Without realizing it, was she completely manipulated by the circumstances that thing had set for her? And all of it just for the sake of a game that already had an established result.
"You're a Queen! And not the only one among the chosen children." Fate told her, grinning. "You might even be able to surprise me someday."
Those words didn't make her feel any better. They rather confirmed that she was being used by that entity, that the pieces of her broken heart were nothing but stepping stones for Fate's amusement.
"I guess you have a lot to think about now." The Spirit said. "I look forward to how you'll bloom from now on."
The woman sat on the snow-covered floor and closed her eyes.
After two minutes, Satoe slowly opened her eyes.
"Mimi-chan?" She asked. "Weren't you in the camp? What are you doing h-?" She looked around, noticing that they were in a warehouse. "W-What are we doing here? Where are we?!"
"Mama…?" Mimi asked, weakly. It really was her mother, right? She had returned! The girl wanted to throw herself in the woman's arms and cry all of her pain out. She wanted to let herself to be pampered and to be told that everything would be alright.
But she couldn't.
When Mimi looked at her mother, she couldn't stop thinking about Fate. She couldn't let go of the idea that the Spirit was still watching her through Satoe's eyes, waiting for the girl to be in her most vulnerable point to attack again. How could Mimi be sure that it was really her mother looking back at her? What if it was still Fate there, pretending to be her to further play with the child's heart?
Numbed by those thoughts, Mimi told the other what had happened in the Digital World. She didn't feel like she was telling her mother anything, but rather searching for clues of surprise, anything that indicated that Satoe was really there. The woman's face was getting increasingly paler and her body was shaking. More than once, she interrupted the narrative to ask her daughter to stop joking like that. But Mimi continued, surprised at her ability to keep going without crying even once. Almost as if she wasn't the one saying those things, but hearing the story from someone else, from a considerable distance, right before falling into slumber.
When her partner, now as Palmon, returned from wherever she had been, Satoe had no other choice but to accept that everything her daughter had said was true. She cried loudly, apologized and pulled the girl to a tight hug. The mother kept apologizing for things that had been out of her control, asking hysterically how could she be kidnapped by a toy and be possessed by an evil deity.
Mimi felt the other's grip getting tighter. Her mother's desperate sobs flooded her ears. The woman's tears washed her shoulder. Still, the child couldn't react. She couldn't say a thing or shed a tear. She sank into a silent darkness, gladly letting reality slip away. Maybe when she woke up, she would recognize her life again. Maybe she would see that the nightmare was over.
"You fainted." Palmon told her by the side of her bed. Satoe had put her in pajamas and put the covers until the girl's neck. Despite sleeping for hours, the child seemed more exhausted than before. "Your mother called a taxi using that public telephone in front of the warehouse. When we arrived here, she called your father. The phone is working again." Palmon was getting distressed at her friend's lack of response and expressionless face. "Fate said it exists in the snow or something like that. Maybe it had something to do with it."
"Fate possessed Monzaemon too..." Mimi murmured.
"Your mother told me what you told her. She's pretty messed up." Palmon said. "I think she's telling your father now. I heard crying coming from their bedroom."
Not even that information made the girl react. She simply kept looking at the digimon with tired eyes.
"Fate wanted to make me forget about my past but I refused to do it!" Palmon spoke with more energy. "I'll show that thing that I'll never forget who I am! We'll show it, won't we?"
Mimi sat up on the bed, looking away from her partner. The girl searched for her sandals at the floor and put them on, getting on her feet then.
"We'll both show Fate, right?" Palmon insisted. "You too! Because you're Tachikawa Mimi and you won't let anyone take that from you!"
Mimi looked at her friend's face and spotted small tears at the corners of her eyes. She should feel bad about making her upset, like she should've felt bad for making her mother cry, if that was really her mother. But everything still felt too distant and too different. Mimi was standing up but couldn't feel the floor under her feet. There was no warmth in her house. Neither there was anything she wanted to do.
Mimi looked at her friend's eyes and couldn't feel anything at all beyond tiredness. The girl didn't feel like herself anymore. Would that ever change?
She walked alone to the kitchen and found the notepad with the telephone numbers. There was something she had to know and only one person could tell her. Mimi dialed the number and waited for a response.
"Hello? Izumi residence."
"If I give you my address, will you come over?"
"Mimi-san? Is this you?"
"You felt Fate's presence last time. You know how… you know better than anyone… I need to talk to you…"
"… What happened?"
Not much later, they met.
Nothing would be the same again.
Thank you for reading and reviewing.
