Chapter 28 – Stepping Stones
Zack Martin felt like he'd just entered an episode of the Twilight Zone. That had to be the only explanation for what was happening. He wanted to believe that what he was seeing was his own imagination, but the apparition seemed so real. He almost wanted to pinch himself to see if this was a dream but he knew it would be pointless.
As the man looked back at him with that familiar smirk on his face, there was no denying it. "How?" he asked. "This can't be possible."
"You should know by now anything is possible," he replied smiling. "It's strange seeing you like this or more accurately, me."
"Are you me?" That statement sounded weird the moment it left his lips. But he had to know, if only to keep from going crazy.
"What do you think?"
"Are you?"
"Let's just say I've been in your shoes," he replied with a smirk. "It's been quite a few years, but we are definitely the same person."
"How?" Zack asked. "How did this happen?"
"Not sure," he replied. "One minute I was drinking my life away and the next minute Dad came into the room, which is strange since he's been gone for close to twenty years now."
Suddenly he looked over at the coffin as if seeing it for the first time. Searching his surroundings he instantly knew where he was. "Dad's funeral," he said holding back a tear and walking over to where the coffin lay.
"Actually the funeral is tomorrow morning," Zack replied.
"I thought, I wish I had said…something, anything…." He whispered unable to find the right words.
"Why are you here?" Zack asked not sure what else to say.
The older version of himself held a serious look on his face. He wasn't sure how much to tell him but he had to make himself clear.
"I'm here to save your life."
Cody Martin was in a dark place. Everything angered and annoyed him, he was snapping at everyone, cursing (something he'd never done before) and throwing things. It was almost as if the person he once was, actually died in that fire and the person he became was someone completely different, someone he didn't like.
He looked down at the blanket covering his legs in disgust. He hated what his life had become, he hated this hospital. Pity, that's all anyone around here offered him. Although they tried their best to be polite and friendly, he knew it was all for show. In fact at times they seemed too polite, too friendly, especially since none of them dared to look him in the eyes. He could tell they felt uncomfortable around him, not that he blamed them. What could one say in situations like this?
Oh there goes the cripple, poor guy. When he was alone like he was now, he would go over everything he knew they could be thinking. It was like having a recorder in his mind and every mean thing he could think of, replayed itself over and over again. What was worse is the dreams he'd have.
In his dreams he was a whole person again, or that's the way he saw it. He was in a huge field, running. At times so fast he almost felt like he was flying. He was surrounded by everyone he loved and who loved him, including Zack. He was so happy, then something happened and everyone began to turn away from him. When he tried to follow them he realized he couldn't and he became afraid. When he looked down he was sitting in a wheelchair, only the stupid thing wouldn't move. He tried to cry out but no one heard his pleas. That's usually about the time he'd wake up to a dark empty room and he'd be calling out to his brother.
His brother or lover didn't give a damn about him. He often wondered how fast it took him to get away. Did he sprint or run, he was probably out the door before the doctors could even finish the words to describe his condition. The guy probably couldn't stand to be in the same room with him longer then he had too. Well that was fine, if Zack didn't want to be around him then he didn't want to be around Zack. Or at least that's what he kept telling himself.
In truth, he still wanted him close. Cody was always the one with the plans with the high hopes for the future, and now that same future absolutely terrified him. He needed his brother for support and needed his lover for comfort. He couldn't deny that. He thought about picking up the phone to call him or sending mom with a message, but he knew if Zack wanted to still be with him, he would be.
"Save my life," the the young boy asked. "What do you mean, am I…are you?"
"We never were quite good with words," he smiled then took on a serious tone. "There are more ways to lose your life than simply dying."
"That doesn't make sense."
"It will soon enough," he told him. "As for right now you and I need to talk."
"About what?"
"You know what," he stated. "Or more precisely, who."
"He doesn't need to see me," Zack told him. "In fact he's better off without me."
"Better off without you."
"Yes, better off."
"Wrong," he told him. "You don't know how wrong you are."
"What are you talking about?" he asked. "After all I've done to him. He is far better off without me."
"So you keep saying. But I've lived the life you are living right now. And I'm telling you if you keep going down this road it will only end in misery, for both of you."
"You don't know what you're talking about. Come to think of it how do I know you're even here, or even me for that matter. Trust me, you don't know anything, so stop trying to butt in."
"Zack, you have a lot to learn."
"And let me guess you're here to teach me the error of my ways," he snickered. "No offense but that story has already been written."
"Don't take this the wrong way," the older man stated. "But you're a selfish bastard."
"Nope, no chance of taking that the wrong way," he almost laughed.
"I'm being serious," the other man stated. "If you leave Boston today, you will be destroying more than two lives."
"Really, why don't you tell me what happens if I leave today?"
"Zack why are you really afraid to see Cody," he asked. "And don't give me all this bullshit, about feeling responsible."
"I do feel responsible," Zack said.
"Maybe, but that's not the complete truth."
"Then what is the truth. Seriously, if you're me, then you would know."
"I can't convince you of something you haven't come to grips with yet. You have quite a few things to figure out, but this is not the place. You need to go to the hospital and see Cody if you ever hope to have a happy future."
"I can't do that," Zack sighed.
"Then it looks like we will all suffer."
Barbara decided to take the stairs up to the 23rd floor of the Tipton Hotel. She knew she needed a chance to think. And this allotted her the time to do it. She wasn't sure who she was more mad at, Cody for giving up so easily, or Zack for turning his back again.
She knew that he felt guilty because of everything that happened. But that didn't give him the right to make Cody feel like shit. He was supposed to love his brother and he was making him feel like nothing. Didn't he realize what this was doing to him. She knew the older twin was a big part of why Cody stopped himself from moving forward.
When she found out about Cody's condition she drove to the public library and checked out every book she could on the subject as well as spent countless hours on the internet. She hoped her research could be of help. But when she tried to talk to Cody and show him what she had found, he threw the pages onto the floor and screamed for her to get out. She recalled what happened afterward.
"I said get that shit away from me."
"Cody I was only trying to help."
"I don't need your help," he shouted. "I can take care of myself."
"Not right now," she stated. "But, by figuring out some kind of plan, I have no doubt in my mind that one day you will."
"Don't patronize me, trying to pretend like you care. I can see right through it."
"I'm not, but I'm not going to baby you either."
"What is that supposed to mean?'
"Everyone in here has been treating you with kid gloves," she told him. "Well, not me. I'm not going to stand by while you decide to waste your life away feeling sorry for yourself. You're better than that."
"Get out of my sight," he grunted disgusted.
"No!"
"What?" he asked shocked. "What do you mean no."
"I mean no, as in not going to happen."
Cody went to pick up a tray but she stopped him with her next few words. "You throw that at me, and I'll throw it right back."
"What is your problem?"
"I'm not going anywhere," she said. "Don't you understand, you can throw anything you want, curse me, push me, whatever but I'll always come back. I care about you and I won't leave you like..."
"Like who?" he shouted. "Huh, like who, like Zack."
"Cody I'm sorry he isn't here, I'm sorry he hasn't called or come by. I'm sorry his absence is hurting you. But that's not my fault. I'm here and I'm trying to help you. You can't keep shutting me off or pushing me away. You need help, whether or not you want to see it, you need me and your mother more than ever. You have to stop treating us like this."
"If you can't handle how I treat you, then there's the door," he shouted. "No one asked for your help, and no one asked you to care."
"Cody, I'm going down to the courtyard and I'm going to read a bit. When I get back I will demand an apology and you will grant me one," she stated preparing to leave before she turned once more to face him. "And one more thing, I don't scare that easy." With those simple words she was out the door before Cody could comment.
Now reaching the 23rd floor she hoped against hope that the person she sought would be here.
Carey sat in Moseby's office waiting for some kind of assurance that she and her family would pull through this. That one day they would wake up and all this suffering would be over. When she'd come in to talk to her friend, she'd only wanted to ask for a bit more time off. But the hotel manager had other plans.
He told her about the conversation he'd had with Zack earlier that day, and the fact that he knew how hard things were on all of them. "I didn't know what else to say," he stated.
"I don't know what to tell you," she replied. "He hasn't said two words to me since leaving the hospital."
"Carey, I know that this is tearing you and your boys apart, with Kurt's funeral being tomorrow. I mean, maybe this isn't the best time to bring this up."
"Bring what up?" she asked.
"I know things are going to be difficult with Cody's adjustment to his new situation and with Zack…anyway, I thought it might be a good idea if the three of you went to see a good family psychologist together. Possibly one that specializes in traumatic events like this one."
"I don't know," she stated. "I understand where you're coming from but…"
"All I'm asking is that you think about it."
"Thank you Marion, I will."
An: Okay did I surprise or thoroughly confuse you? ;) Trust me there is a reason for "Older Zack" to be there but it won't be known for quite sometime!
Please read and review and let me know what you think.
