A/N: Hey, HG/SS shippers. After the much shorter previous chapter, I hope you will be excited to know that Chapter 28 is much longer. In fact, it the longest one yet by far with plenty of content to sink your teeth into. :) There are two back-to-back flashbacks in this one, as well as a long-coming revelation that perhaps might have been curious to some of you.
Warning: the first flashback contains violence.
As a side note, if you have any questions as we progress, feel free to PM me. I check all feedback and questions but don't want to flood responses under the reviews, so you can always send me a PM and I'll respond.
Many thanks to my wonderful beta reader, Brittny.
DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter is copyrighted to and belongs to JK Rowling. I own none of her associated characters. New characters belong to me.
Chapter 28: Muggles and Mudbloods
"Surina's getting anxious about not being able to play Quidditch. I feel really bad. She misses it a lot."
"Well, she needs to get over it," Lily advised with a shake of her fair hair. "Things are not safe right now, Hailey. It makes me nervous that James, Gregory, and Peyton are still playing, quite frankly. Liam agrees."
Hailey scrunched up her nose as she and her older sister moseyed out of the library, and her voice rose from a hush to a more natural volume as they turned the corner. "But it's not James and the others that they're after, Lily..."
"I know, I know."
Lily had been trying to come to grips with the latest information communicated to her by Hailey, who sought her out in the library to relate the news Surina uncovered from their father the previous weekend. A third Bludger? It did not make sense. Had their father found anything else out since visiting Professor Cosworth?
"I hope Dad's being careful," Lily added concernedly. "I'm sure he's wrapped up in all of this in more ways than one."
Hailey nodded in agreement, and, as they turned down another hallway, she started to head in the opposite direction. Lily eyed her, confused.
"Where are you going?"
"My assistantship," Hailey replied, with a turn of her head and a pleasant smile.
"Oh, of course! Well, tell Dad I said hello."
"I will! We're going to finish the Strengthening Solution tonight. It's nearly ready."
"I'm amazed you managed that without a scratch, sis," Lily mused in an admiring, yet, serious tone. "Most fifth years screw theirs up in one way or another."
Hailey sniggered. "Yeah, well, they probably just weren't listening to Dad, that's all. It's really not so difficult, as long as you're precise and pay attention."
"Speak for yourself!" Lily spat playfully. "Not all of us are little Potions masterminds, all right?"
Hailey rolled her dark brown eyes, much in the same way as Severus, but continued to grin cheerfully. "I can't help that I have a knack for it, sis. I enjoy it, what can I say?"
Lily offered her younger sibling a warm smile that much resembled their mother's. "Well, I'm glad you do. And I'm sure Dad does, too."
Hailey's grin widened and her body began to sway. "I think you're probably right!"
The first year skipped away down to the opposite end of the dim corridor, her wild curls bobbing behind her all the while. Her petite frame reached the spiraling staircase and disappeared from view, leaving Lily to make her way back to the Gryffindor common room alone.
When Hailey reached the frigid dungeons, she was not surprised to find her father hunched over the large cauldron near his desk. He was inspecting the contents of the Strengthening Solution as it bubbled and frothed softly. He made a few swift motions with his wrist, and though he did not glance over at his daughter when she entered, his keen senses knew who it was.
"Hi, Hailey."
"Hey, Dad," she answered, throwing her bag onto a nearby desk.
She waltzed over to where the Potions professor stood and examined the brew. The potion was now a yellow hue and the steam rising was a shade of violet, a very good sign of her accuracy.
"Does it look all right?" she asked with anticipation, dying to know if she had mastered such an advanced potion correctly.
Severus sensed her intense interest and glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, his thin lips curling into a small smile. "I believe so," he replied, turning his attention back to the solution. "Tonight, I'll need you to grind two and a half cups of sneezewort and a three quarter cup of lovage."
"Right."
Hailey dashed over to one of the storage cabinets and took out the necessary ingredients and tools needed to crush them. As she set them onto the usual working bench next to the cauldron and Severus's desk, she glanced over at him. He was still bent over the potion with his back to her.
"I can finish it, Dad," she offered with an assertiveness that had grown in the two months she had been practicing. Severus's dark head whipped around to face her directly. "I know you have plenty of other stuff you need to do, so go ahead."
Severus appeared rather reluctant to give up his post, but Hailey was used to his reservations about leaving her alone with any advanced potion for more than a few minutes. She stifled a giggle and turned away to begin crushing the sneezewort leaves, humming softly to herself as had become her therapy while brewing.
"Do you have the textbook?"
The back of Hailey's brown head nodded and she held up a thick book normally reserved for fifth years in one hand. "Yep, right here!"
"Very well."
Severus went to his desk and began grading papers and writing letters as usual. After about forty-five minutes of relentless laboring, as well as stopping every now and again to check Hailey's work, Severus felt a light tug on the back of his robes. He turned to find a satisfied Gryffindor's face standing next to him.
"I think it's complete. Will you check it?"
Severus gave a slight bow and stood up from his chair. Hailey waited anxiously, lacing her fingers together as her father inspected the contents of the cauldron, his eyes enigmatic as they looked it over for some time.
"How many times did you stir between adding the sneezewort and the lovage?"
Hailey's smile disappeared, replaced by a worried, questioning frown. "Um, I think twelve times over the course of eight minutes? That's what it said in the textbook, yes?"
Severus did not answer his troubled daughter right away. He continued to survey the brew for a while, but then he finally cast his eyes upon her. His temperament was calm as he extended his arm out to her, encouraging her to take his hand. She gazed at him with a curious expression before entwining her small hand in his and allowing him to pull her towards the cauldron.
"You see that?" he inquired in his unemotional tone, pointing to a small fragment of sneezewort that swirled lazily within the pot.
Hailey's heart sank and her confident demeanor disappeared. "Yes," she grumbled. Her disappointment did not escape Severus's notice.
"Hailey, this is a very advanced potion," he stated quietly, emphasizing every word for her to hear. "You've done a phenomenal job. Much better than any fifth year I've seen. You should be very proud."
Hailey remained unconvinced, and her downcast eyes stared at the wooden platform they stood on. "I'm sorry, Dad... Do we have to start over?"
Severus scowled, observing her with an intense, yet solicitous, stare. "No, we can salvage this. I want you to grab another piece of Gillyweed from my private storage cabinet and cut it in half."
Hailey peered up at him with an inquisitive look but did as he asked. She retreated to Severus's office, which was unlocked, and returned less than a minute later with a strand of Gillyweed in her hand. She cut it in half as instructed and handed it to Severus, who had been observing her all the while.
"Now then," he began, clearing his throat with a deep grunt, "the Gillyweed will not necessarily offset the undissolved sneezewort particle, but it will lengthen the effect of the solution."
Hailey watched Severus cast the slimy, greyish-green substance into the yellow pool and stirred counterclockwise in a slow, fixed motion. She stared up into his face again, which looked tired and worn as usual.
"Will it weaken the solution?"
Severus continued to stir and did not glance down at his daughter. "Just a touch."
Hailey's shoulders dropped and she fiddled with her hands, not wanting to look at either the professor or the cauldron. Severus noted the adorable girl's letdown. She was more than displeased at her personal blunder, and he reached out to squeeze her shoulder affectionately, continuing to blend the Gillyweed with his opposite hand as he did so.
"You've done an exceedingly good job, sweetheart. Most fifth years couldn't master what you've accomplished. Don't beat yourself up. This is more than adequate, and it can still be sent to St. Mungo's."
Hailey whipped her bushy head up at him, her pupils expanded. "Really? But doesn't each draught have to be perfect?"
Severus met her dark eyes with a kind smile that she quickly gathered was meant exclusively for her. "Perfect potions are near impossible, munchkin, and rarely, if ever, attainable. If you set out to make a potion with such a grand feat in mind, you'll be setting yourself up for disappointment."
Hailey looked on with befuddlement and tapered eyebrows. She was still unconvinced by all of his praises.
"But you make perfect concoctions all the time."
Severus gave her a half smirk. "Perhaps, but not always. And I've been practicing far longer than you, Hailey. You'll get there, but you need to stop pushing yourself beyond your limits. You're a first year, still with plenty to learn. You're doing very well; exceptionally well, in fact. Let that be enough for now."
Hailey knew he was right and leaned into him, a small movement that caught Severus by surprise. Despite the fact that they had moved forward since the unfortunate wand incident at the beginning of term, Severus had not had much physical contact with his third daughter. It had been an extremely slow progress towards reconciliation; one which, both secretly lamented, was still ongoing. In an instinctive reaction, Severus reached around her shoulders and pulled her close with little effort whilst she watched him stir the potion in his consistently effortless manner.
"Are you all right?" he asked, after a short lapse of silence passed between them.
Hailey blinked several times, bringing herself out of her daze at observing him work. "Erm, yeah, sorry. I was just wondering..."
"Yes?"
"Surina mentioned you went to see a retired Potions professor over the weekend?"
Severus peered down at her with an unreadable countenance. He did not seem bothered by her inquiry one way or the other, much to her inner relief.
"Hamilton Cosworth. He hasn't seen you since you were a baby. You wouldn't know him, dear."
Hailey bit her lip, out of habit rather than nerves. "Why did you go to see him?"
Severus stopped stirring the cauldron and focused his attention on the youth at his side. Their bodies remained inclined towards one another, comfortably situated, as if they had always been so.
"To inquire about these poisonings that have been making The Daily Prophet."
"Oh. For Uncle Harry?"
"Yes, and for my own personal interests."
Hailey's forehead furrowed beneath her thick bangs. "I don't understand."
Severus let out a weighty sigh and glanced back at the violet steam rising from the sizzling cauldron, his dark eyes lost in the dancing haze rising into the air. "Cosworth is an old friend and colleague of mine, Hailey. I suspected that he's had his own theories about what's going on, and his hypotheses have been spot on in the past, so I sought him out. I also believe there to be a connection between these poisonings and what happened to your sisters several weeks ago. I think they are linked to me, to my past, in some manner that I have yet to uncover."
Hailey was surprised at how straightforward her father was being with her—relating everything without any misgivings—and she drew back a little to take in his weary, pallid complexion. "You think someone wants to hurt us?"
Severus tried to smile at the now fretful child peering up at him, but Hailey could tell that it was a strained, dubious act, and her brown eyes narrowed in response. "Don't take what I've said like that, Hailey," Severus implored in a thin voice. "I want to be honest with you girls, but I don't want you to worry unnecessarily either."
Hailey gave a respectful nod of her head before looking up at him again, inquisition written all over her features. "Dad?"
"Yes?"
"Why don't you ever talk about your past?" She bit her lip harder, this time skittish about her question. "I - I feel sometimes like strangers know more about you than I do..."
Severus kept silent for what felt like an excruciating long time to Hailey. She sensed his body tense a little next to her but waited as patiently as she could for him to offer her an answer. She rarely asked about his past, but then she had only grown more curious about the ambiguity of his former life in the last year or so. Lily and Surina, on the other hand, had been asking Severus questions for years and seemed to allude to knowing more than they let on; at least from what she sensed.
"It was a very dark time in my life, Hailey," Severus finally replied, his tone low and cautious. "I don't mean to keep secrets from you, but my history is a very complicated one that I don't think you or your sisters would fully understand yet."
"I'm not stupid!" Hailey blurted out, leading Severus to take a more secure grip of her tiny shoulder.
"That's not what I was implying, sweetheart. I know you aren't stupid."
Hailey blushed and gazed at the Strengthening Solution, waiting for her father to continue, which he did with a subdued, gentle air. "I promised your mother long ago that I would tell you girls everything you wanted to know when you were old enough; when I thought you were ready..."
Hailey wrapped her short arm around Severus's robes and laid her head against his chest. It was a simple act that brought her comfort, and she was grateful to receive it back from him, even if it was only in private.
"I - I'd really like to know, Dad. About your past. Could you tell me a little about it? About your childhood? Your time at Hogwarts? The wars? I'd really love to know it all, or, erm, as much as you're willing to share with me. Please?"
Severus drew in a deep breath and exhaled rather heavily, as if in defeat. It was a discussion he had hoped to put off with Hailey for a while, and, yet, he did not want to pull back from her sincere request. He rubbed his hand through her curls, his fingers tracing them with care as they contained various uncombed knots.
"I can show bits and pieces if you'd like."
Hailey wrinkled her button nose, confused. "Show me?"
"Yes, with my Pensieve." When Hailey continued to give him a blank stare, Severus explained further, "I keep one here in my private office. It's used to review memories. All one has to do is extract a memory, place it into the basin, and watch the memory unfold."
Hailey surveyed him with fresh curiosity. "Really? One can store their own memories?"
"Yes, they can. You will learn how to do so in time."
"And you keep these memories here at the school?"
"Yes. I use to keep the Pensieve at home when you and your sisters were little, but your mother grew tired of having it in the house. I was too often prone to delving into some very dark memories she'd prefer I forget, so I moved it here for your mother's peace of mind, and here it has remained since."
Hailey jerked back with undeniable excitement. Her eyes were twinkling, almost pleading with the skeptical professor.
"Can I see it? Could you show me a memory? Please?"
Severus withdrew his arm from her shoulder and laced his hands behind his back. "Hailey, I'm not sure if—"
"Please? Just one? And then we can continue with the potion orders, I promise."
Severus glanced down at her apprehensively, his thin lips tightening against his translucent skin, but the near desperation and keen interest in Hailey's face made arguing the matter too difficult for his nerves. Though he was hardly ready to concede, he bowed his head in agreement.
"Hailey, I must warn you," he issued carefully, "you may not like what you see..."
"I'm prepared for that," Hailey confessed, though perhaps too quickly.
"Are you?"
Hailey stepped back, growing a little nervous, and she tried not to show it. Keeping anything from her father, however, was difficult.
"Yes, Dad."
Severus breathed another hefty sigh and started to walk away from the Strengthening Solution. "All right," he concluded, leading the way towards his office.
Hailey stumbled behind him into the familiar, gloomy place. The office was unheated, so, without asking permission, she withdrew her wand and muttered the incantation to start logs burning in the fireplace. Severus did not object and stalked to the opposite end of the room. He stood before a wooden cabinet that was taller than him and elegantly waved his wrist.
Hailey watched with round eyes as the cabinet unhinged its many locked clasps all by itself and creaked open. Hundreds upon hundreds of cloudy, glass phials lined its shelves, rotating this way and that, her father's unmistakable handwriting painstakingly labeling each tiny case.
"Are those memories?" she asked breathlessly, marveled by the spectacle of the number of phials.
Severus's dramatic robes waved on the ground as he turned around to face the curious youth. "Yes," he answered matter-of-factly. "They are all past memories."
Hailey wandered over to Severus and looked them over with anticipation. Her tiny fingers touched a few of the phials in front of her, her wondrous eyes reading the labels with intrigue. Severus allowed his daughter a moment to scan the various memories, praying she would not pick one that was too disturbing to share.
Finally, Hailey took a phial from one of the higher shelves and held it carefully in her hand. Severus reached down and extracted it from her palm, inspecting the label. His jaw tightened, but the rest of his face remained still. His dark orbs bore into hers with uncertainty.
"Are you sure you want to see this one?"
Hailey intertwined her fingers in front of her again, looking rather sheepish, but she nodded, acknowledging her conviction. She hoped he would not fight her curiosity.
"Yes, please."
"It's not a happy one, Hailey... I'm really not sure this is one you should look at. I'd much prefer you take another moment and pick out a different phial."
Hailey outstretched her dainty arm and took hold of the stiff fabric around his arm. "I'd really like to see it, Dad. Please?"
Severus took a step back, his pale brow vexed and still unsure. He glanced from his daughter to the phial and then back again as she surveyed him with a calm, reserved disposition. He grumbled something under his breath before abruptly leaving her side. He shuffled over to another cabinet next to the door frame that led back out to the lab and withdrew a stone, oval-shaped basin. He hoisted it into the air.
At first, Hailey jerked, thinking Severus was throwing it to her to catch, but then it levitated in the air and slowly progressed towards her. She peered into it, her fascination peaking. A strange, silvery pool stirred around in the basin, and Hailey caught a glimpse of her own reflection in the strange liquid.
When she glanced back up again, Severus was at her side and uncorking the glass case. A white mist cascaded out of the phial and down into the bowl. She turned to her father, waiting for what was to come next, but he only stared down at her with an inscrutable scowl.
"You must put your face into the basin to view the memory. You cannot look at it from this distance."
"Oh!"
Hailey lingered for a few seconds, gazing up at the powerful wizard with a mixture of emotions, although he seemed immobile, his expression cryptic in comparison. Hailey drew in a breath, crouched over the basin, and stuck her head in, expecting her face to get wet in the process. She was surprised when nothing happened.
The feeling that overcame her then was euphoric, and, as she opened her eyes and her vision adjusted, the silvery pool disappeared and an image formed before her; an intimate moment that was unfamiliar to her.
The overcast sky above set the dismal mood. A gangly, pale young boy about Surina or Lily's age meandered down a cobblestone sidewalk that was covered in snow. The neighborhood he sauntered through was dreary-looking, to say the least. Each brick house resembled the next, stacked next to one another in row after endless row. The chimneys smoked in the winter cold, and Hailey caught a glimpse of a sign that told her where she was: Spinner's End.
The boy the memory was following wandered along with his black head drooped—his long hair very much in need of a trim—and his hands shoved deep into his coat pockets, if the pitiful-looking item he wore could be called such a thing. His shabby coat, pants, and shoes were dirty and far too big. He looked like he was malnourished, his thin frame and ashen complexion making him appear rather sickly. The miserable scowl on his face matched the depressing scenery.
Hailey scrutinized him in horror. Was this her father as a child? It had to be. That frown, that dark hair, and that fair skin spoke to her recollection, and, yet, his appearance was quite disheartening to survey. Why did he not have a properly fitting coat? The one he wore was lightweight with many holes and poorly sewn patches, and was hardly suitable for such conditions.
Was he not freezing? Why was he covered in dirt and look like he had not showered in days? It was unsettling to see her father—now twelve or thirteen years of age—manifesting before her as such an unfortunate soul. It made the little Gryffindor secretly sick to her stomach, but she could still not turn herself away.
Severus Snape, however, showed no indication of knowing his future daughter was watching him and shuffled along, kicking a few stones into the street. Before long, he reached a house, undoubtedly his own, and peered up at it with a mixture of nervousness and abhorrence.
Then the door burst open and a skinny, gloomy figure emerged. She looked very much like her father did now, dressed in all black with matching long, straggly hair and that infamous hooked nose. She was just as white as the child, and she shot him a dangerous glare that Hailey instantly recognized.
Was this her grandmother, Eileen? She had never seen pictures of what Severus's mother looked like, although Surina and Lily claimed to have stumbled upon a few in their parents' home, hidden away from view for whatever reason.
"Where have you been?" she demanded, with a cruel frown.
Severus drew back, his body tensing as she advanced on him. "I - I just went for a walk, Mum."
Her stark eyebrows narrowed. "Have you been with Lily Evans again?"
Severus grumbled and shook his head. He had hoped to catch Lily at their usual spot by the large oak tree on the edge of the woods—a place they met at routinely the past few years—but she had not appeared that day, so the Slytherin boy wandered aimlessly, avoiding the brick house before him like the plague that it was.
"No."
"Well, your father is home and has been asking for you for over an hour! I have been looking everywhere for you!"
"Sorry," Severus mumbled, unable to look his mother in the eyes.
"Well, get inside this instant!" she barked, fidgeting with her hands. "And go to your father at once."
Severus stumbled past her into the house. The place was dim and without much heat, entirely foreboding, and the atmosphere was more than unfriendly. It was not at all like Hailey's family home, filled with warmth, positive sensations, and, most importantly, love. Had her father really lived in such a dreary place at one time?
There was some faint muttering coming from the kitchen, where a small amount of light streamed into the hallway. Severus swallowed, a scowl still etched on his face, and progressed slowly towards the room. Eileen came up behind him and pushed her son along in haste.
"I found him, Tobias," she called out in a weak voice that bordered on fearful.
Severus entered the room and took in the sight of a formidable figure seated at a wooden, square table in the opposite corner. He had dark, tousled hair, stubble on his chin, and an unnatural grimace that sent chills down Hailey's spine. His clothes were disheveled and worn, his hands covered in soot. He was a working class man, to be sure, and the harshness of his life was etched all over the lines that traced his skin. He stared at the skinny child with the utmost contempt. It had to be her grandfather...
"Where you been, boy?" he demanded in a gruff voice.
"Walking," Severus whispered, choosing not to look at him.
A rough, disconcerting cackle came from the man's throat, and he took a swig of the bottle clasped in his hand. Hailey was surprised to smell the nauseating scent of whiskey. The man had evidently been drinking for some time. His bloodshot eyes were droopy, his mouth hanging open as he slurred every word.
"Wasting your time with your head in the clouds as usual?" he snarled, more of a statement than a question.
Severus did not answer, though his jaw tightened at the insult. Hailey's grandfather staggered to his feet, leaning on the table to support his weight. He continued to glare at Severus as if he were nothing but an insect.
"You better not have been using that stupid wand again out in public, boy," he threatened through gritted teeth. "I won't have magical hogwash performed around here! It's an embarrassment!"
Severus peered at the bottom of his father's shoes but said nothing. He knew what it would mean if he did.
"You dense, boy? Do you have a tongue?"
"Yes, sir," Severus managed, his tone very unpleasant. He felt his mother's elongated fingers dig into his shoulders, as if to warn him not to display any temper.
"Well, answer me, damn it! Where the hell you been?"
Severus peered up at him at last, his dark eyes growing listless and empty. "What does it matter to you where I go? I went to find my friend."
"Friend?" Tobias snorted with a merciless sneer. "You don't have friends, boy. Just look at you! Pathetic."
Severus resisted the growing urge to retort, instead darting his attention back to the floor. Tobias gave another crooked grin, displaying his stained teeth, a few of which were cracked.
"You tell your imaginary friend about that juvenile delinquent school you're attending now? Hogwort or whatever the bloody hell it's called?"
"It's called Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," Severus emphasized with feeling, as Eileen dug her fingers deeper into his skin, "and my friend goes there, too! And it's not a place for delinquents. It's a place to study magic; it's a lifesaver. Best of all, it keeps me away from you!"
In one quick movement, Tobias rounded on him, barreling towards Severus with his large hand outstretched. Eileen reached around and pulled her son back, sending Severus into the wall behind them. Her frail figure reared in front to protect him, and she grabbed Tobias's arms in desperation.
"Please, Tobias!" she pleaded, her voice shaking. "Have some pity on your son. I beg you!"
Tobias ignored his wife and pushed her out of the way with considerable force. She stumbled sideways and collapsed to the hard, wooden floor. Severus wanted to go to his mother to make sure her fall had not left her harmed and bruised as it had on so many previous occasions, but there was no time to move.
Severus felt himself being yanked up by the collar of his coat. His arms flailed helplessly as he struggled to fight off Tobias's secure grip. His feet dangled off of the ground as the scary man inspected him, his red face very close to his son's. Severus tried to turn his head away. The stench of alcohol on the man's breath was overpowering and sickening.
Tobias growled at him, his face contorting with fury. "You are a deplorable excuse for a son, you know that? You're just like your mother. The whole lot of your kind disgusts me. You are a freak, you know that? A FREAK!"
Severus's cheeks flushed, giving his skin abnormal coloring, and his beady eyes shrank as they bore into the infuriated man that was his father. Hailey noted the void, the resentment, the sadness that lingered behind the blackness of Severus's eyes.
"Well, you're not much better, are you?" he snapped, against his better judgment. "You're nothing but a sorry-arse drunk!"
Tobias threw Severus against the wall with all of his might, and Severus cried out at the throbbing that pounded the back of his head from impact with the wall. He could feel his airway being obstructed as his father leaned one of his arms across Severus's neck, propping him against the divider with nowhere to go, his body limp in the air.
"Tobias, please!" Eileen cried, sitting up on the floor with her trembling hands outstretched to take her husband's arm.
"Shut up, woman!" he snarled, kicking her aside with one of his boots.
"Mum!" Severus rasped, his eyes enlarged at seeing her crash again to the floor. He grabbed his father's arm with both of his own and tried to pry him away from his throat, to no avail.
Tobias let out an odious laugh as he watched the thin, incapacitated child struggle against him. "You're such a weakling! What are you without a wand? Nothing! You have no physical strength. Where the hell you going to get in life without your ridiculous little wooden stick and incantations? Nowhere, that's what! You are absolutely nothing, boy! NOTHING!"
Severus cried out in frustration and suddenly, without warning, Tobias was thrown off of him as if he had been forced. His large body was flung backwards and pounded against the kitchen table, breaking it in half, while Severus tumbled to the floor. Tobias sat up in alarm. For a moment, both father and son gawked at one another, but then a realization of what occurred dawned on both.
Severus tried to rise—wanting to make a dash for the stairs off of the adjacent hallway—but his efforts were in vain. Tobias crossed the room in no time and snatched him by a clump of his dark hair. He threw his son backward, giving the poor boy whiplash in the process. Severus yowled in pain, wincing as Tobias dragged him down the hallway to the front door. Eileen finally stumbled to her feet, clutching the side her husband had struck, and ran after the pair of them.
Tobias threw open the door and Severus felt himself being thrust forward. He hit the icy cement with a thud, his face smacking the ground hard. At first, Severus thought he had broken his nose, but as he turned his face to one side he felt the unsettling taste of blood in his mouth. He reacted by spitting it out, not realizing that the blood landed on his father's shoes right in front of him.
Tobias growled with absolute hostility and responded by drop-kicking Severus in the chest. Severus flinched in pain but did not allow himself to yell, instead bringing his lips together tightly. He could hear his mother pleading in protest to what Tobias was doing, but the man would not heed her cries. He booted the crumbled boy on the pavement several more times before he drew back at last, panting heavily.
"Your holiday vacation here is over, you got that?" his father howled. "You can go back to that bloody school of yours and stay there for all I care! See if they'll take you! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"
Severus wrapped his arms around himself protectively, gasping for air against the unbearable pangs in his chest and stomach. The frigid air did not help the oxygen seep into his lungs. The cold only made the pains worse. He kept his eyes shut and heard his father's hefty footsteps make their way back to the house. His mother's feeble voice continued to beseech Tobias as the door slammed shut, leaving Severus alone in the middle of the sidewalk.
For several minutes, he could not will himself to move. His body ached and the stillness of being outside felt quite serene versus reentering the forbidden house, and the stillness was almost comforting to the forlorn child on the frigid ground. Severus drew his knees up against his chest and held them there for a time, his raven hair falling over his protruding nose, masking his eyes.
Then the terribly sad image before Hailey changed. The memory faded to nothing and switched into something else entirely. Although Hailey did not recognize the people, with the exception being her father, she knew the location all too well: the Great Hall at Hogwarts.
Severus was seated at the Slytherin house table with two other boys and looked to be the same age as in the previous memory. He had his chin in his palm as he listened to an older kid with an arrogant air and long, glistening blonde hair across from him. Another boy with curly, brown hair and pointed facial features sat next to Severus, also listening intently, seemingly the same age as her father. Hailey strained her ears to hear what they were saying, and it took a moment for the boys' voices to become clear.
"You know, Severus," said the blonde with a devilish grin that Hailey somehow knew, although she could not pinpoint how, "your knowledge of curses could be quite effective against Potter and Black. You would do well to use your skills to your advantage more often."
Severus gave a dark smirk. "Lucius, I do so already. I'm not willing to get myself expelled though."
"You'd have nowhere to go if you did," the strange boy next to him pointed out in a grave tone.
Severus shot the kid a dangerous look that made the boy recoil. "Thanks for pointing out the obvious, Avery."
"You should have come and stayed with me," the elder boy named Lucius offered in a polite manner, despite his rather smug expression. "My family enjoys you. You're always welcomed at the Malfoy's, you know."
Severus nodded and straightened in his seat. "I know, but Hogwarts is home to me. More home to me than anywhere else. Besides, I thought your family went away over Christmas?"
"We did."
Lucius stopped, his attention momentarily distracted by a fellow female Slytherin with fetching long blonde locks. She shot Lucius a seductive grin as she passed by the three boys and moseyed out of the Great Hall with a few of her girlfriends. Severus and Avery's eyes trailed after the pretty youth before returning to Lucius curiously.
"You were saying?" Avery snickered.
Lucius blinked several times before addressing them. "My family went to southern France to visit extended family."
Severus looked away uninterested, but Avery stared at Lucius with a wry grin. "Did Narcissa pay you a visit by any chance?"
"Shut it, Avery!" Lucius threatened in a cool voice. "And no, she didn't."
"I'm relieved to hear it," Severus groaned, rolling his eyes. He was sick of Lucius going on and on about that girl all the time.
Lucius ignored his friend's remark and adjusted his black and green robes. His fingers traced over the fabric with pride.
"She and her sister are relatively sane compared to that notorious cousin of theirs."
"Sirius Black is an idiot," Severus interjected, showing clear resentment. "He's a hothead without a head. There's nothing but air in that abnormally large noggin of his."
Avery cackled at the insult, and Lucius shot Severus a wicked, satisfied grin. "It's hard to believe he's a pureblood."
"It's hard to believe he got into this school! He's a dingbat!"
Severus scowled and crossed his arms on the table, looking quite disgruntled. Lucius cocked his long hair to one side, his eyes squinting slightly.
"You know, now that I think about it, it is remarkable, isn't it? He's quite the halfwit. I would have thought you to be a pureblood, Severus, over Sirius any day of the week."
"Thanks," Severus mumbled, not sure what to make of his comment.
"At least you're a half-blood," Avery spoke up, looking from one to the other.
Now it was Lucius's turn to roll his eyes. He glared at the second year reproachfully whilst Severus fought to keep his composure, his head faced determinately in the opposite direction.
"Really, Avery," Lucius hissed,"you have quite the knack for saying the one inappropriate thing to the sole person who doesn't need it."
Avery drew back with a cautious, dumbfounded expression. He shrugged his round shoulders and eyed them both apologetically. Severus, however, refused to face either of them. He stared off towards the large oak doors, his eyes intense and withdrawn.
Then a gorgeous-looking redhead passed through the doors, gazing over at Severus as she went, and Hailey gasped at the incredible sight of her; Lily Evans. Lily waved at her father before skipping through the doors and disappearing.
"Well, at least I'm not a Muggle like my arse of a father," Severus uttered, returning to their conversation.
Lucius and Avery glanced at the boy in black with dark, impenetrable expressions. They seemed to be in agreement with Severus's opinion, and the disturbing smirks on their faces made Hailey rather queasy. They seemed far too sinister for boys of that age.
Avery leaned towards Severus, cackling in a manner that gave the third Snape the chills."No, you're not a Muggle. You've got your mother's wizarding blood in you. You should use that to your advantage, Severus. All the Mudbloods in this school, and all those who harbor and protect them, will pay."
"One day," Lucius murmured quietly for only his friends to hear, "they will all get what's coming to them. One day..."
Severus cast his eyes upon Lucius again, and there seemed to be an uneasiness trickling through the murkiness in his irises that Hailey saw, but her father's Slytherin mates did not. His jaw clenched in a strange fashion and there was a subtle change in his skin tone, making it even whiter than before. Hailey waited with bated breath for one of them to speak, but then the scene lapsed into nothingness again.
Hailey felt herself being drawn out of the memory, and a gravitational force brought her up and out of the basin in an instant. She stared down at the silvery pool in shock. An image of her father's much younger face reflected inside the bowl for a moment before it faded. Hailey took a moment to let her vision adjust to the shadows of his office.
When she finally let her brown eyes wonder about the room, she found Severus leaning against the front of his desk behind her with his pale hands gripping the side. He was still scowling and looked even more mysterious than she remembered. Hailey soaked in the familiar robes, the trail of buttons along his front, the hefty boots and long hair that fell in curtains around his unnatural complexion.
Then the first memory came flooding back to her in unforgivable waves—Severus's miserable childhood, her awful grandfather who beat and neglected and casted him out, the lack of support, affection and love he seemed to receive from either of his parents—and her eyes swelled up with tears.
Severus's reserved facial features changed to that of concern, although the alteration was subtle. Before he could say anything, however, Hailey flew into his arms and buried her face in his coat.
At first, Severus froze at the unexpected contact but then his arms wrapped themselves around the sobbing child to comfort her. He hunched his shoulders and leaned his chin against the top of her head, holding her tight as she cried softly.
"I'm so sorry," she whimpered amidst her uncontrollable sobs.
Severus's chest heaved against her cheek. "It's all right, Hailey. It was a long time ago."
"No, it's not all right! I - I had no idea! I didn't know..."
Severus placed one of his hands on the back of her thick, shaggy hair. Hailey felt his gentle fingers stroke her curls and found the simple act consoling. She buried her face further into his chest, not at all ready to look upon the man who had experienced a childhood she could not even fathom living through, that she had no inkling about until now.
Severus sighed after a time, listening to his daughter's sympathetic cries with a mixture of regret and anguish. "I wish you would have picked a different memory. I would have preferred you to not see your grandfather like that."
"I'm glad I never knew him!" Hailey whined, her tiny fingers digging into Severus's back as she clutched him with all of her misery. "I'm glad he's dead! I'm glad of it! I hate what he did to you!"
"Don't say that, Hailey."
"I mean it! Why did he do that to you? Why?"
Severus secured her around him, pulling Hailey as close as possible, and she welcomed his tight embrace. She had gone far too long without it.
"Sweetheart," Severus murmured close to her her ear, "it was a long time ago. Alcoholism makes people do terrible things—"
"Don't make excuses for him, Dad!" Hailey interrupted, shaking her head in complete disgust.
"I'm not, my dear. My father was a miserable, unhappy man. Anger and built-up emotions make unforgivable fools of men. I was his scapegoat when he could not handle the realities of his wretched existence. I suppose the apple doesn't fall far from the tree..."
Hailey abruptly pulled back and shot her father a look of absolute horror. Her face was flushed and wet from crying. She understood the underlying commentary and resisted the urge to growl at him, although it took every ounce of her small being.
"You're not like him, Dad! Don't say that! I hate when you do this."
Severus's black eyes studied the little Gryffindor thoughtfully, and his hand reached down to wipe away a few fresh droplets around her eyes. They were so dark, so much like his own, that Severus's reflection stared back at him through the wet pool that stirred within them.
"You girls are too kind to me," he whispered in a gripping, unhappy voice that pulled at Hailey's chest. "I haven't always been a good father to you—"
"Dad, stop," Hailey implored, swallowing hard.
"It's true, sweetheart."
"No, it isn't! I know what you're thinking, Dad, but you're not like him! Not at all!"
Severus gazed down at her with an austere look that made Hailey want to conceal her face in his coat again, just so as not to see the miserableness on his face. She squinted and fought the propelling desire to turn away, but it pained her to witness the sorrow and tragedy in his eyes.
"Did Lily ever tell you what I did to her as a first year? What I put her through?"
Hailey startled and withdrew her arms from around his waist, her pupils widening, with skepticism lurking behind their depths. "I..."
One of Severus's eyebrows rose at inspecting Hailey's dumbfounded indication. "She didn't, did she?"
"Dad," Hailey breathed, her mouth hanging limp. "Please don't. I - I don't need to know."
"No, I think you do."
Just two months ago, Hailey would have easily considered listening to the details of what happened between her father and eldest sister, not just out of pure interest, but because she disliked him enough at the time to revel in any nasty truths that surfaced; anything that she could use against him if need be. Now all the young girl wanted to do was run out of the room to avoid whatever Severus was about to reveal.
"No!" she exclaimed, louder than she had meant. "That's between you and Lily, Dad, not me. Please don't do this—"
"I used my wand on her."
Hailey's body stiffened where she stood, and her eyes glazed over. Severus willed himself to ignore the shock of her expression and carried on with his hands clutched behind his back.
"She was talking in the midst of one of my lectures. I caught her doing so more than once. I reprimanded her the first time, but the second time, it... It was too late. I was gone by that point. My vision of that day is vague and probably imprecise; your sister would recall the unfortunate details better than me." Severus grunted and cleared his throat before continuing, casting his midnight eyes towards the Pensieve. "I drew my wand and told her and her friend to desist. I think James may have risen to her defense, much like Albus did for you, but I had no control over my temper anymore..."
Although her mind was beseeching her to close her ears, Hailey found her short legs making their way towards her father, wanting to know more despite her berating subconscious. "What happened?" she asked in a hushed whisper, hanging on every word.
A conflict of emotions danced across Severus's face. His thin lips parted but then shut. Hailey sensed the private encouragement he needed, and, to his surprise, she reached out and enfolded his hand in her own. She squeezed it gently, which caused Severus to tug her closer, to draw her near in order to continue.
"I lost every ounce of control," he confessed with a dismal frown. "I can't even remember now where it began or how I managed to stop myself, but I cast my wand on your sister and levitated her into the air, pulling her up by the neck of her robes, and then I left her up there for quite some time. It was way too long to prove a point. She pleaded for me to let her go. I remember she was having difficulty breathing because of how her collar was catching around her throat...
"I - I fought with myself to let her down. I wanted to, I desperately wanted to free her, Hailey. I have no idea how long your sister was helpless in the air and she's never told me, but I know it was too long. And it should never have happened in the first place.
"I have no idea how Lily has managed to look me in the face since. Your sister is one of the most compassionate, most forgiving souls in this world... Truly."
Hailey gulped, trying to absorb the information. The image of her sister dangling in the air and possibly choking on the collar of her robes was unthinkable, terrifying, and utterly absurd. Her father's remorse, however, seemed to soften the details a bit. He ran his fingers through his long locks with his free hand several times, his eyebrows tapered.
"Dad," she managed after an extensive pause, her voice exceedingly gentle, "that wasn't you though, was it? You said so yourself that what happened between us was outside of your control. It sounds like the same thing with Lily, too."
"You're missing the point, Hailey!" he snarled, taking a deep breath as a few loose hairs fell over his eyelashes.
"No, I'm not... I - I'm shocked, and I agree it shouldn't have happened, but this all doesn't sound right, Dad. This isn't you. None of this sounds like you at all. If Lily's forgiven you, then you've told her something you aren't telling me."
Severus peered down at her at long last, his eyes crestfallen; a rare display of emotion all over his distinctive attributes. The return look she cast him reminded Severus of a very young, curious Gryffindor from decades ago; a girl who had a knack for discovering the truth, for unearthing an answer to every question, who could read people like a book and see through to their interiors. Hermione.
"Please don't ask me again, Hailey," Severus grumbled. "What I did to your sister is beyond reproach. I threatened you, yes, but I didn't actually use my wand. With Lily though, I did, and I will have to contend with that grave mistake for the rest of my days. She needed to know because otherwise I would remain forever a monster to her. I'm not ready to do the same to you and Surina. It's a burden I never wanted to lay on your sister, so please leave it at that."
Hailey grumbled unhappily for a moment, but her father's despairing countenance made her want to burst into tears all over again. She flung herself into his arms once more, masking her face in his chest, but this time she did not cry. She simply held him the way he routinely embraced her—at least, when she allowed it—with a warmth and tenderness that the rest of the wizarding world never glimpsed. She knew Severus was grateful, responding back with his arms laced around hers, too.
"I'm so sorry," she breathed after a time, peering up at him, "I'm sorry for everything you went through in your life, Dad. I wish there was something I could do to make it all better..."
Severus's jaw clenched, the blackness of his irises showing a glimpse of emotion they hardly ever bestowed. To the little girl's wonderment, an unexpected smile emerged at the corners of his mouth.
"I'm afraid you're missing the point again, Hailey." She stared at him, unsure, so Severus drew her closer. "I've received my due payment for the cruelties and torments of my life."
"You have?"
"Of course."
"When? How?"
"From you, your sisters, and your mother. You more than make up for all of the bad... More than I could ever have imagined."
"Really?"
"Yes." Severus took her round chin in his palm, grazing it lightly with his thumb. "Do not pity my old life, Hailey, because, as it turns out, I'm actually a very lucky man."
Hailey bit her lip and ran her cheek against her father's coat again, shutting her eyes and allowing the moment to linger. Severus, in turn, laid his chin on top of her head and stared into the distance, lost in the bleak shapes and contours that made up his office.
After a period of time, Hailey finally turned to face Severus, although he continued to stare off into another dimension. "Dad?" she issued softly, waiting for the powerful wizard to meet her gaze. His eyelids fluttered momentarily before looking down upon her, giving her his full attention. "We should get back to work. There are still several orders to do..."
Severus proceeded to stare at her for another few seconds before acknowledging what she said. Hailey waltzed towards the door but held her father's hand firmly within her own, leading him out of the dark office and into the lighter air of the still dimly lit Potions lab. Neither said a word, or spoke again that night about Severus's old memories, choosing instead to focus on the present.
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