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Disclaimer: We don't own Twilight, but it owns us.
Chapter 28 - Knockin' on Heaven's Door
Edward
Twenty-seven weeks down, thirteen more to go.
The girls had impatiently waited for the day to arrive when they would get to see the baby during an ultrasound. Bella and I gone to her twenty-week appointment and found out the baby's gender but we had decided to keep that information to ourselves.
Of course, my mom, Alice, Renee, and hell, even people at our jobs, did not understand why we wouldn't budge and tell them. It was an agreement we came to shortly after we heard the girls place their bets. We had been doing a great job talking about the baby only within the confines of our bedroom, but to the outside world Baby Cullen's gender was still up for debate, especially around the girls.
There was a daily battle about whether their baby was going to be a sister or brother. The girls had come to the conclusion that by seeing the 4D ultrasound they would be able to tell who won the bet immediately, just by looking at the face. We chuckled at their innocent ways of seeing things and told them to feel free to dissect the image all they wanted.
Arriving at the ultrasound center had all of us full of anticipation; you could never see your child too many times, even in utero. I loved seeing my baby's precious face and hearing its strong heartbeat. The excitement of knowing that before long I would be witnessing those things first-hand was hard to keep at bay. I was ready to meet my child.
"Remember girls, mind your manners and let the technician explain everything. I know you're excited to see the baby, and so are we, but we need to let her do her job, okay?" I said giving both girls a pointed look.
"Yes," they agreed in unison.
"Yeah, like that I'm the big bad daddy face is going to stop them from going crazy, Edward." Bella chucked and shook her head.
I knew she had a point, but I could never fault them for being excited. I was thrilled they were happy and not disappointed about our family expanding and knew it wasn't always as easy for other blended families.
We were called to the exam room and the medical assistant got Bella situated. The room was accommodating with a couch and mounted flat screen TV to project the images the technician captured.
As soon as the image of our baby's face appeared on the screen, the girls were standing under the TV looking up in amazement. You would have thought the screen wasn't visible from the couch.
The technician giggled at their enthusiasm and started to point out facial features.
When the cursor reached the nose, MC shouted out, "His nose looks like mine, just smaller."
Makenna didn't respond, but the small huff she gave explained that she didn't necessarily agree with MC's statement. She was still adamant we would be bringing a baby girl into our house.
Bella and I exchanged a smile; we were used to their debates. Some people would say we should just tell them what we were having, but we wanted to wait until the baby was born. We knew as soon as they saw their baby brother or sister, they would be enchanted by it and wouldn't care who had guessed right or wrong.
"Right here…" The technician pointed on the screen, "Are the baby's feet and toes." She paused to print a picture for us to take home and then continued. "You can see the baby has its legs tucked in, so we can't find out if it's a girl or a boy today. Sorry." She looked over at Bella and gave her a small wink. We had informed them when we made the appointment that under no circumstances, did we want the gender mentioned. After listening to the girls' banter, I'm sure the technician understood why we made the request.
As exciting as it was to watch Makenna and MC's enthusiasm at finally seeing the baby, I took a minute to drown out their excited chatter and lose myself in the images on the screen. I'd seen 4-D ultrasounds before, but I was watching the only one that ever mattered; it was my child we were gathered around to see, and everyone admired each and every detail.. I wasn't looking at someone else's kid that I would probably only see during a well check appointment someday. The baby wiggling around was a living testament to the love that created it. A love so strong and true that it came together during an act of passion in the most basic but perfectly complex way to solidify its very existence.
I stood stoically in front of the digital image before me and was in awe of the clarity that took away any assumption I had of what our child may look like. It blew my mind that the baby on the screen, the one who really did have MC's nose, would be joining our family. I had always respected the world of modern medicine, but never before had I truly come to appreciate advanced technology more than that very moment. I got to see just how beautiful my child was and fell impossibly deeper in love. Bella and I would adore and cherish our little one every single day. How did we become so lucky?
When the appointment came to an end, Makenna and MC were each handed a printed picture of the baby's face. The small hand was raised slightly above its head, looking as if it was waving. Typed at the bottom was Hello big sister! I love you.
"She's so cute. I'm gonna take this to school and show Bethany how much she looks like me," Makenna declared with a sigh of contentment, while MC stayed silent but rolled her eyes.
"Good luck Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. It sounds like you have two little mommies on your hands here." The technician chuckled as she handed over the CD of the all the shots she had taken.
"Yes, we sure do." Bella laughed dryly at the truth behind that statement. Without a doubt, it will be us against them battling to have our hands on the baby.
Having the ultrasound and seeing the developments that took place since the one Bella had weeks prior was exactly what we needed before the following weekend fell upon us.
After stopping to pick up Alice the following Saturday, we were all headed to Jake's five-year memorial service. The temperature had dropped the night before and without rain in sight, the clouds and fog were extra thick and blanketed the winding roads.
We left earlier than planned to make sure we wouldn't be rushed for time due to the slower pace we had to keep. My whole life was in our car; there was no way in hell I would be driving over the speed limit with reduced visibility.
"It's kind of eerie out," Bella stated as I got onto the highway, earning a low yes in agreement from me.
I had been thinking the same thing actually. Mother Nature must have known what the day had in store for us, giving us a gloomy backdrop to match our moods. Even Alice had been uncharacteristically quiet.
When we arrived in La Push, I drove straight to the community center where the memorial was going to be held. Despite Bella's attempts to keep the air light between us all on the drive there, I could feel the tension in her body as we held hands.
I gave her hand a squeeze as we stopped at the only light on the reservation.
"You okay, babe?" I asked, trying to get a feel for what she was thinking.
"Mmm hmm," she answered, glancing back at the girls quickly, and then continued, "I'm just ready to get this over with. Is that wrong of me?"
When Billy called with the news that the elders of the tribe wanted to hold a memorial in honor of Jake, Bella and I talked in great lengths over her feelings about it. We both agreed we all needed to be in attendance for MC, especially since it was her father, and she deserved to see how adored he was in his hometown.
"No, sweetheart, it's not wrong. Today will be emotional for you and probably MC, as well; it's alright that you just want to get through it."
"It's just… I haven't seen most of these people…since then," she whispered.
I knew what she was trying to say. The last time she spent an extended amount of time with them was at Jake's funeral and, by seeing them again under these circumstances, the memories from that terrible day would emerge.
As I cautiously pressed down on the gas peddle to continue the drive, I tried to comfort her with only words I had at the time.
"We'll get through it together, Bizzy. I'm here for you this time."
The rest of the drive was spent in silence. Bella wasn't the only one that mentally needed to prepare for what was to come. I was about to witness a ceremony in honor of my friend, the one I'd let down.
When we arrived, the girls piled out of the car and tightly grasped both of our hands. I had spoken to Makenna alone before we left and explained we would be listening to people speak about MC's daddy. I warned her that she might need us to be strong for her, because it may be a sad time.
I wanted to try and prepare her for the worst, should MC or Bella break down. I wasn't sure if someone would approach us and not realize how much their lives had changed. Preparing Makenna would ensure she'd understand the situation and not be thrown off by anyone's reaction to our presence.
I was glad I had thought to have that conversation with her, because the moment we walked through the doors Bella was greeted by several elders of the community. She had to explain several times that she was now Mrs. Cullen, with a stepdaughter and baby on the way. A lot had changed since the last time they saw her, and they embraced us warmly.
Everyone we had encountered was kind and wished us well in our life together. They were pleased MC was flourishing, and when she told stories about her dad, she turned heads several times when she explained I was the one who'd shared them with her.
I could tell by their reactions they wondered how I knew so much about Bella's late husband. Bella stepped in a couple times and explained that Jake and I were friends in college, saving me from their intrigued glances.
Sitting through several speakers, including Billy, was tough, but what got me the most was the slide show they played towards the end. Jake's larger than life personality shined through each picture, showing him in his true form. Seeing his smiles and the way he always threw his head back when he laughed reminded me of all the happy times we'd shared the pictures that included Bella, as well as MC, tugged on my heart more than I expected. As the first one from when they started dating flashed on the screen, the grip on my hand tightened. It stayed that way until the very last one – one of them holding MC, covered from head to toe in muddy and all smiles – faded away. They looked like a happy family.
I squeezed her hand to get her attention, and when our eyes met, I gave her an encouraging smile. I could see hesitation, combined with some remorse, in hers. We'd talked several times about our concerns and fears. She'd told me her biggest concern was that I'd feel awkward being there among people that would see her as Jake's wife.
I understood and appreciated her concerns, but I wasn't bothered by her former status and was proud I was now her husband and a father figure to MC.
The memorial at the community center passed quicker than I anticipated. Walking to the car, I could see the change in Bella. She had made it through without any outbursts, just appropriate tears. MC took the hour we spent reliving her dad's life in stride and enjoyed seeing pictures of him that she'd never seen before.
I felt relieved that all girls had made it through without too much heartache. After that day, I planned to think of the happier times in Jake's life and hoped they would be able to do the same. I had no doubt he was in peace, being the jokester he always was and without an ounce of pain or sickness left in him.
The short drive to Billy's place passed in a blur with the five of us engrossed in an easy conversation about things to do in La Push. MC wanted to take Makenna to First Beach to show her where starfish incrusted the rocks, leading out to the sea. With it being so foggy and dreary, we decided to save it for the warmer summer months.
Billy welcomed us into his home and led Bella to a chair to relax. Bella took the time to speak to Sue, Billy's lady friend, as he liked to call her. Needing to keep myself busy, I made sure both girls had a plate of food before sitting down to mingle with the other guests.
People came and went quickly, paying their respects one last time to Billy, MC, and Bella. They wished our family well and looked forward to meeting MC's new sibling next time we were in La Push.
When the crowd had dwindled down to only a couple of Billy's close friends, I stood up, knowing I couldn't put off what I needed to do any longer.
"Give me a couple minutes," I said looking down at Bella while tugging on my hair out of nervousness. She nodded her head with understanding shining through her eyes.
I stepped out of the house, and my eyes made their way to the edge of the property line. The large tree that shaded the granite marker had caught my attention as soon as we pulled up.
With each step I took, my beating heart sped up. I had known since the night I found out about Jake's death, this moment would come.
Before long, I was out of steps to take. I let out the breath I'd been holding since I got close enough to see what was etched into the granite stone.
"Hey, Chief," I whispered as I lowered myself to crouch down.
"I know… long time no see," I said with a shaky breath as I reached out to trace the letters that spelled out Jacob William Black.
I had so much I wanted say to him over the years, but especially since that faithful night I ran into Bella over a year ago.
"I'm sure you're pretty pissed off at me, and I can't say I blame you." A nervous chuckle surfaced on its own account. "I'm sorry, Jake. I know that's a cowardly thing to say, and you probably don't accept my apology but it's true. I'm so fucking sorry for cutting out on you man. You have to believe me.
"I was young and so fucking dumb. I didn't think of the repercussions of my actions and was being selfish. I know I don't need to go into all that, because you know now what I'm talking about."
Reaching up, I brushed a guilty tear from my cheek.
"I did you wrong, and yes, I do feel guilty about it. I should've been a man and handled things differently, despite what the outcome would've been.
"What bothers me the most is not being here for you, when you needed me. But damn it Jake, why'd you give up so easily? Why not try anything and everything you could've to be here for Bella and MC still? You're actually lucky I wasn't there, because you know I would've nagged your ass until you gave in. I would've pitched a damn tent in front of Johns Hopkins, if that's what it would've taken to get you to seek out other options."
I could feel my anger starting to boil and knew I needed to stop. This moment wasn't about could haves or should haves; it was about me needing to tell my friend I was sorry and what he meant to me.
I looked around at the lush grass and sporadic redwood trees that lined the acreage. The tranquility of the Black's property washed over me, allowing me to feel calm once again. I could finally understand why their family decided to have a private burial plot on their land. You couldn't help but feel at peace.
I turned my head back to the gravestone, giving Jake my full attention. It was the closest I would ever get to looking directly at him and expressing what he had brought to my life. He deserved nothing less than that.
"I have to thank you, Jake. You've helped me clarify what my purpose is in this world. The most important thing you gave me was MC. She's a little girl for me to love as if she was my own. And I love her that way, Jake; she is my daughter in every way that counts. I swear to you, man, I'll try and be the best dad to her as long as I live. I'll make sure she is always loved, protected, and cared for, just like you would've done for her."
I choked back a sob as tears clouded my vision. I felt so fucked up for thanking him for MC, but I had to. If it weren't for him, my life wouldn't be complete.
I took a moment to allow my tears to fall and then tried to get myself together.
"I fucking hate that you died at the hands of that vile disease. The thought that it took you away from MC and Bella makes me furious. It has set something off in me though, a driving force to help find a cure and wipe that fucker out. I promise you, Jake, it's my mission to work hard and assist in anyway I can to save people from the fate you had."
I closed my eyes and deeply inhaled a couple of times, trying to catch my breath.
"You will make me a better doctor each and every time I walk into that lab.
"You will be the reason I spend countless hours nose deep in various research studies, looking for the one piece of information that hasn't been discovered yet.
"You are the one person I think of when I feel helpless and as if I'm not contributing enough.
"It will all be in your honor Jake, so thank you. You've given me a direction in the world of medicine."
The weight that had been holding me down all day started to lift. For the first time in a very long time, I felt free, that all my skeletons were out in the open. With that being said, I had one last thing to say. I wiped the tear streaks off my face then spoke the words I knew would be the hardest to say.
"You may not want to hear this part, but I can't leave with out saying it. Thank you for loving Bella and being there for her when I wasn't. You didn't fully understand her pain, and I feel like an asshole for making you deal with my mess.
"I'm not naïve. I know if I had stayed around, you and I wouldn't have remained friends. Our friendship was lost the minute I betrayed you. I'm the biggest fucking jackass in this world for doing that to you, but I swear, I always had good intentions when it came to her.
"We never really talked about it, but I'll tell you now, Bella is the one person who has owned my heart and always will. Just like with MC, I promise to love and cherish her until I join you in heaven, and you get to kick my ass."
I chuckled at my joke.
"I know I deserve that much, and I'll take it like a man. Until then, I'm going to let all the shame and guilt I've held inside for the past nine years go. I can't let it hold me down anymore, man, and I hope you understand.
"Goodbye, Chief. You'll always be the best friend I ever had, and I'll love you like a brother forever."
I stayed silent for a moment, allowing my mind to accept the freeness my heart finally felt.
I had no idea how long I stayed there, but before long the sounds of feet brushing through the leaves caught my attention, bringing me out of my daze.
I glanced over my shoulder and saw a weary looking Bella and pensive MC.
"Hey," I cleared my voice, "I'm done here… if you two want a moment."
Bella's eyes stayed locked on mine, asking me if I was okay. I gave her a slight nod and looked at MC, giving her a reassuring smile. As soon as she saw it spread across my face, she matched it with her own.
I stood up and looked to see Makenna rocking on the porch swing with Billy, petting his cat on her lap.
"I'll leave you ladies alone. Take your time. We're not in a hurry."
Bella nodded her head, and I started to walk away.
Unlike the slow pace I was on when I walked to that tree, I kept a normal stride as I headed back to Makenna. I had done what I had always planned to do; I made peace with Jake and promised him everything I knew he would care about, that MC and Bella would have the life he wished for them.
A life filled with of love and happiness.
~~ E & B ~~
Bella
The day of the memorial had been hard on us, but Alice, Edward and Makenna's presence made it bearable. Alice mingled with the other guests, and Edward had barely left my side for more than a few minutes. Whenever I felt my emotions begin to take over, Makenna would be there to comfort me, holding my hand, kissing my stomach, or telling me she loved me.
Billy and all the others had welcomed my husband and stepdaughter with open arms. I knew they would, but there was always a fear in the back of my mind that they would resent me because I'd moved on without Jake.
I was completely wrong.
Members of the La Push community came out in support of the Black family, especially Billy and MC. My daughter didn't live there, but she was treated as if she'd spent every second of her life with them. Embry loved her like his own daughter and reminded MC that he knew her when she was still growing within my belly. He told her a few stories about Jake's initial reaction to learning he would become a father and then later how Jake began to tell anyone within hearing distance that he had a daughter on the way. MC had a smile as big as Texas on her face and a glimmer in her eyes. I knew what it was like to have lost a father, and the support of those around you in the minutes, days and years after was priceless.
Jake may have been in heaven, but his spirit lived on through his daughter.
"Makenna, have a seat and we'll get some lemonade and drink a glass together." Billy patted the empty spot next to him on the porch swing. She looked at me for permission, I nodded my head, and she smiled as she sat next to MC's grandpa.
Makenna had met Billy several times previously, and she and MC had spent the night with him several times too. They talked about going back out on his little fishing boat while they sipped their drinks. Billy was an amazing man and made sure that those around him knew how much he cared. It didn't matter to him that she was my daughter through my marriage to Edward; he saw her as MC's sister and, because of that, he loved her, too.
"So, you think we can go fishing next time MC comes up here?" Makenna asked shyly while looking through her eyelashes at him. Billy's cat took that opportunity to jump up onto her lap, and she began petting it.
Billy laughed and cleared his throat. "You're a dangerous creature, Miss Cullen. Just looking into your green eyes alone makes it impossible for me to tell you no. Of course, you and your sister are welcome to take this old man fishing anytime. I wouldn't have it any other way, Little Bear."
Little Bear was a nickname he had given her one night after he heard MC call her Kenni Bear. Makenna absolutely loved having a Native American name, and it made her proud of Billy's unconditional acceptance.
"Thanks, Gramps," she said and reached over to hold his hand. They continued to talk softly, and then my attention was drawn to MC.
She was sitting on the ground, which had dried throughout the day, with a little boy I had never noticed before. I could tell he was related to a member of the tribe by the color of his skin and the way in which he interacted with her.
"That's Collin," Makenna told me as I looked back at her, and we shared a smile. I returned my attention to MC and listened as she spoke with the boy.
"My dad has been in heaven for five years," MC stated timidly.
"Are you sad?" Collin asked.
"I was sad, but I'm not anymore. I have a new daddy and a sister, and I'm going to have a baby brother in June," MC said as she glanced my way. I shook my head, smiling at her determination and looked out towards Edward.
He had been visiting Jake's resting place for a while and I didn't want to interrupt him. I knew he had a lot to get off his chest, but it was getting late in the day. I wanted to get home before midnight.
"MC," I called to her.
"Yeah," she responded distractedly while she dug into the ground with a small stick.
I took a second to explain to Makenna where we were going and asked her if she wanted to come along. She shook her head no and continued to pet the cat.
"We're going to get going soon. Why don't you run to the car and get the painting you made for your dad, so we can leave it for him?"
She jumped to her feet and tried to brush the dirt off of the pretty blue dress she'd chosen to wear. No amount of brushing was going to help it. MC had always been a little tomboy, so I knew Jake would love knowing that she was still the same rambunctious little girl he'd adored so much.
We walked across the yard together and came to a stop near the huge tree we had chosen for Jake. Edward turned around to face us, and his eyes traveled to mine then to each of our girls. He looked at MC again, and they shared a smile with each other. The love they shared between them was palpable.
The three of us spoke for a moment, and then Edward turned to join his daughter and Billy. I assumed Alice was inside the house.
MC looked up at me with sad eyes, and I pulled her into a hug.
"You just need to tell your dad what's in your heart and on your mind. He only ever wanted you to be happy, so don't feel like you need to keep secrets from him, okay?" Her eyes looked to the headstone and back to me. "I'll be right over here if you need me." I kissed her forehead and turned to stand close to a nearby tree.
I heard MC take a deep breath and began to talk. "Hi dad. I, uh… made you this painting yesterday so you can see how big I am now." She bent down and placed a red piece of construction paper that had her handprints on it against his headstone. I also noticed she added I love you daddy as well.
"I'm sorry that you've been in heaven for five years without me and Mom, and I hope you're not up there all alone," she whispered towards the end. "Gramps and Momma said that you're surrounded by people who love you."
I tried to give her some privacy and not listen to everything she said to say.
"Um, Edward showed me some picture albums yesterday, and I liked the one where you were teaching me how to make Eskimo kisses. I still like to do those even though I'm old now. Sometimes it tickles my nose and makes me laugh." MC giggled as she reached up to rub her nose as if she felt his kisses.
Of all the regrets I had, my daughter was never one of them. She had brightened my days when I thought I'd never make it through the darkness. MC gave me a reason to better myself, and I became the person I always dreamed of becoming. Even though I'd gone through some rough times and stupidly added burdens upon my own shoulders by making poor decisions, my unconditional and limitless adoration for her made me realize that if I learned to cherish my flaws, accept my actions, and avoid making the same mistakes, I would still be a good person at heart. My faults didn't define who I was as a person. I was only human, but more importantly, I grew contented with all of my imperfections and strived to make each of our days better. In the beginning I did it for her; now I try to make me stronger for myself. No, I never regretted MC.
She looked back at me with a smile on her face that I returned ten-fold. "Thanks for teaching me how to kiss like that."
MC turned around to face Jake again.
"I was really happy when Edward told me he used to be friends with you. I'm friends with him now, too, and I asked if he would be my dad on earth since you're my daddy in heaven. He said yes. So… I hope you're okay with that. I promise to always love you, Daddy."
Tears rolled down my cheeks as I listened to her repeating a lesson she had leaned in counseling with Dr. Gerandy. Her daddy was in heaven, and it was okay to be sad about it as long as we didn't let it define us. We both would always love Jake, and we would keep him in our hearts as we continued to live in the moment. It wouldn't be fair to MC if we didn't allow her to flourish and grow into the person she was supposed to become.
I closed my eyes in response to MC's words and then felt a pair of strong arms circle around my waist to caress our growing baby. Edward kissed my neck, and I leaned back into him. When I opened my eyes, I noticed that Makenna was holding MC's hand.
"This is my new sister, Makenna," MC said proudly.
"Hi," Makenna said softly and gave a tentative wave.
"She's my best friend, too." My daughter added before turning back to look at me and Edward. "Mommy is going to have a baby, and me and Makenna are betting if it's a girl or a boy. I know he's my baby brother, but Makenna thinks he's a sister. When the baby comes out, the person who wins gets to hold him first."
She smiled at Edward and I watched as Makenna rolled her eyes.
"Well not really gets to hold him first. Daddy said he gets to hold the baby first, and they'll come get us when it's time. We're getting his room ready soon. Mom and Dad said we can help them shop for baby stuff, and then we'll decorate his nursery."
"She's not a boy, MC, so stop calling her a boy," Makenna huffed.
"Whatever."
Edward pulled me closer and kissed my forehead as I giggled at them.
"We're in so much trouble, Bizz," he whispered with his lips still touching my skin.
"I know, babe," I responded. I felt Edward tighten his hold around me.
MC turned her attention back to Jake. "So, that's my life right now. Soccer is starting soon, and Edward said he was going to coach the team this year since Coach Beckman moved away. I wanted Makenna to play on my team this year, but she signed up for dance classes again. She's really good. I guess I'll talk to you next time I'm here. I love you, dad. Bye."
Makenna raised their joined hands up and used them to pull MC into a hug. The love they had for each other was instant and inseparable; it mirrored our little, growing family.
I had asked Edward to give me a few minutes to myself again. I'd taken some time earlier in the day to speak with Jake but hearing MC talk to him, made me want to talk about our daughter one more time. Edward kissed my nose and reached out for the girls' hands, leaving me to my thoughts.
"We have a great daughter together, don't we? There're a million different things about her that remind me of you. Just today she wore a dress and played in the dirt. Your little Claire is the tomboy you'd always wanted." I remembered our talks after our ultrasound when we learned the baby was a girl, and his plans to take her fishing and hiking.
"I still can't believe she's in the third grade already. She's very smart but slacks off a lot and I'm constantly pushing her to try harder.
"I hate saying this because it seems so mean to me, but she's the best player on her soccer team. She's like a little storm on the field. Our daughter just plows through the other team and scores at least once in every game. You'd be so proud of the destruction she leaves behind," I said with a laugh.
"We're really happy, Jake, and I know that's all that you ever wanted for us. Edward and I sold the house last year and put the money into MC's college fund. She'll learn one day that you're still providing for her future. It really matters to us that you stay an important part in her life."
I had to take a deep breath to hold back my tears. I had cried so much throughout the day.
"I promise you that we'll all carry your memory in our hearts forever and always."
My effort not to cry was quickly abandoned. Tears ran down my cheeks faster than I could brush them away.
"We love you so much, Jake," I whispered. I stood silently by his grave for a few more moments, then kissed my fingers and traced them over his name carved into the stone.
After we said our goodbyes, we stopped to eat dinner with Alice. We dropped her off at her house and arrived home not too much later. Both girls had fallen asleep, and I said I'd take Sam outside to do her business while Edward carried them in and put them to bed.
Almost an hour later, Edward joined me in the family room where I had the fireplace roaring to heat our chilled bodies as I sipped on some hot chocolate. I had been drinking several mugs of it a day for the past month and craved it all hours of the day and night. I had woken Edward several times to make some. He was just glad I wasn't sending him all over the city with strange cravings.
Looking up into Edward's eyes I could see the worry there. "What's wrong?" I asked as I set my drink down on the end table and ran my fingers through his hair.
He took a deep breath and opened his sad, green eyes.
"Edward, please tell me what's bothering you," I gently begged and took his hand into mine as I continued to play with his silky hair.
"MC woke up when I was putting her pajamas on and she asked me if I would adopt her. She said I'm her dad and that she should get to be a Cullen, too," he spoke softy.
I felt him squeeze my hand and he continued, "I didn't know how to answer her, so I told her we all needed to sit down and talk about it. I hope that's okay, because I don't want to overstep my-"
I cut off his ranting with a kiss.
"Baby, please," he mumbled desperately against my lips. After kissing him a few more times, I reluctantly pulled back from him.
"Edward, you did the right thing. We do need to talk about it, but I think she's too young to fully understand what it really means." I looked between his eyes, pleading for him to agree with me.
"I understand, I really do, but she broke my heart as she told me that when the baby comes home she'll be the only one with a different last name in our family. I agree with her. It has to be hard for her even though she's never talked about it." He reached over and pulled me onto his lap.
"I don't want her to ever think I rejected her or that I only want her to call me dad, but not really be her father. I mean, I want that little girl to be mine in every sense of the word." Edward kissed the indentation at the base of my neck.
"If she's mentioned it now, there's a chance she already feels like I don't want her, Bella. I had to tell her that I would do anything in my power to make sure she knows she's my daughter." He pulled me into him and wrapped his arms around me. "I'm sorry if I over-stepped my bounds, but she caught me off guard. I didn't want her going to sleep without knowing how I feel. I love her with all my heart, and I explained that to her; she seemed to understand."
I must admit it didn't surprise me. MC loved Edward as much as he loved her. They had bonded in the very beginning, and their love grew every passing day. I just didn't have the all answers.
"You're right. It would have broken her heart if you just brushed her off. I agree we need to sit down and talk with her, but I don't know if she's truly ready to make this kind of decision. How about I bring it up next week when MC and I go in for our counseling sessions with Dr. Gerandy? I'm sure she can offer us some guidance. Are you okay with that?"
"That sounds great, baby. I just don't want her to feel like we're blowing her off, ya know?" He kissed me firmly and began to make a trail down my neck.
"I know," I moaned.
His hand rubbed my stomach, and he pulled my shirt up to expose our baby. Edward lowered his head and placed kisses all around my big belly. With just a few months to go, I thoroughly enjoyed my husband's attention.
"I love you, Baby Batty," he said and reached for the cocoa butter I left on the coffee table earlier that morning. Edward took his time rubbing the lotion all around my stomach. I blushed when he pulled my pants off to make sure he covered every inch.
I laughed as I remembered how we'd given our baby a nickname the month before. It was a quiet night and we sat at the kitchen table playing Monopoly. I was the banker, because everyone else had cheated and tried to steal money when they thought I wasn't looking. My husband was the biggest thief.
"Can you feel the baby kicking, MC?" Edward asked with a humungous smile on his face.
"Uh huh." She nodded her head and moved her hands around to find every movement she could.
"I can feel you moving, little brother," MC added, smirking at Makenna.
Edward chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Okay, greedy, it's time to share the baby with Makenna. Scoot over a little so she can have her turn."
Makenna stepped forward and placed her hands on both sides of my belly. I felt the baby's movement near my bellybutton and moved her hands to the spot.
"Right here, Kenni. Can you feel the butterflies fluttering around?" I asked with a smile.
She scrunched up her nose and stayed still while trying to feel any sign of the baby.
"Oh, right there, Bella?" Makenna questioned excitedly.
"That's right, sweetie. It feels like butterflies floating around inside me. The kicks will become stronger the larger the baby grows," I clarified for her.
"Do you think she gets scared, because it's so dark inside you?" Makenna added with a concerned tone.
I held back my laughter and took a deep breath. "Not at all, but we should probably research when the baby will begin to open his or her eyes. I'm not sure if that's happening now or not. Maybe your dad can Google it for us, so we can check." Even having a doctor as my husband, the girls enjoyed looking up baby facts with us. It was a great way to keep them involved in the pregnancy.
Her hands ghosted along my skin and she looked back up at me. "It's probably dark like a cave," she said quizzically, as if she was solving a riddle.
I laughed that time. "You're probably right, kiddo." I leaned over to kiss her forehead, struggling a little from my effort because I was sitting in an awkward position with them surrounding me.
"I feel it again, but she doesn't really feel like butterflies at all. It actually feels like a bat is flying around in there," she added innocently.
Edward couldn't restrain himself and busted out laughing. In betweens his chuckles he said, "Bats? Like vampire bats? Makenna Esme Cullen, are you calling this innocent little baby a blood sucker?" Again, my mature husband cracked himself up. He panted and rubbed his eyes as he tried to calm himself. I didn't think he was that funny.
"No, Daddy, I'm not calling her that, but it feels too strong to be just a little butterfly. I think I'm going to call her Baby Batty, because it feels like she's flying around in a cave." She pursed her lips and dared him to challenge her.
Edward straightened up and looked at MC. "So, what do you have to say about this, Mary Claire?"
MC playfully sighed at his use of her full name. "I think my brother will like the bats at the zoo when he's older!" She said excitedly. "I can't wait to take Baby Batty to the zoo!" MC added.
Makenna laughed and said, "Girls can like bats too, MC."
"Well, I'll take my three girls and Baby Batty to the zoo any time we want to go. Let's just promise to the leave the baby bottle filled with blood at home or people might stare at us like we're crazy or something," Edward added while he laughed at his dumb joke. The room was silent, and we all looked around at each other.
"Oh, come on. That was funny stuff, ladies!" Edward begged us to laugh with him.
MC started to crack a smile, and Edward took advantage of her weakness then snatched her up and threw her into the air.
"It was funny!" He huffed and placed her on the floor to tickle her.
"Stop, Dad… it wasn't that funny!" she yelled between laughs. "Our baby will not… drink… blood!"
I was laughing along with the memory. Edward smiled at me and leaned down to kiss my lips. I scooted over so he could lay behind me on the couch and he draped his arm across my stomach. It wasn't the first time I was glad we bought an over-sized couch.
"We have a great family, don't we?" He placed kisses along my neck and glided his hand underneath my shirt to cup my breast. I moaned at the contact as his fingers teased my sensitive nipples.
"A great family? Oh no, we have a perfect family. We love each other, our kids are happy, and we even have a baby on the way. What could be more perfect than that?" I asked as I struggled to turn around so he could have better access to my body and I kissed along his jaw.
"The only thing that could be better right now would be to have our little Baby Batty in our arms," he said against my lips. We touched each other's bodies and kissed until we lost our breath.
A/N: If you were Jake, what would you think about Edward's apology?
Next week we'll be welcoming a baby into the world...get your lullabies ready. If you haven't made your girl/boy prediction, this is your last chance.
شكرا لك صديق
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