Liara
The Rabid Buffalo filled with tension as we strapped into our seats. Lizbeth sat on the floor, close to the side exit, in front of the gunner's station. Garrus stared at the human woman on the floor, his mandibles flexing in a mixture of what seemed to be distrust and contemplation.
Shepard stared through the bulletproof glass of the windshield, her eyes fixed on some distant planet, some land that was not Feros. She did not seem to be herself; did not seem to be…Shepard.
Who are you in this moment? I wondered, thinking of my unanswered questions. Are you the woman whose name has been lost? Who is she, commander? Is she the warm blue in your cold eyes? Is she the hand that leaves the pistol grip…or the one who pulls the trigger?
"Liara," she jolted me from my reverie, "activate the radio scanner. I want to see if we can pick up any chatter from the colony."
"Of course, commander." I said, watching her reaction.
At the use of her rank, Shepard's eyes cleared and the crease in her brow eased, as though she had stepped across some line of demarcation.
I keyed into the Mako's radio systems and began the channel scan as Shepard started the ignition sequence and threw the frightening vehicle in gear.
We were quiet as we returned the way we had come, driving through the gauntlet of rising doors. My eyes remained fixed to the radar, seeing nothing but a blank screen. I thought it singularly odd that it had not immediately come online...
The Mako tilted on its side as a rocket slammed into it. Lizbeth fell across the floor and slid to the other side as my head struck the window. I saw white sparks dancing before my eyes as the Mako righted itself.
"What the fuck!?" Shepard yelled as she grappled with the steering wheel. "Vakarian, report!"
"Two geth rocket troops, one armature. Locking on and return fire in three, two, one." the turian spoke and pressed the trigger in a smooth motion.
The Mako jerked as a rocket launched, followed by the rattling fire of the fifty caliber turret gun. The armature crumpled as Shepard engaged the thrusters, sending the Mako into the air as two rockets passed underneath it.
"I need them dead, Vakarian!" she shouted.
I glanced back, seeing Lizbeth curled into a tight ball, shaking as the firing of the rocket launcher tossed the vehicle to the side before the thrusters lowered us back to the ground. Shepard cursed as the Mako slammed down and the radar came to life with a sputtering screen.
"Clear, Shepard." Garrus announced as we lurched back into motion.
"Rog." Shepard muttered. "Damn radar decided to start working again. I swear I'm going to melt this thing down for scrap."
"After we're finished I hope." Garrus teased. "We do still need it to make it back."
"Nope. Melting it down right now." Shepard quipped, a slight grin quirking her lips. "Self-destruct sequence in three…"
"Is this vehicle actually equipped with such a device?" I asked.
"It's a secret self-destruct sequence." Garrus stated. "Even has a special name."
"Oh?" I wondered.
"It's called 'Shepard at the wheel'." Garrus stared at the back of the commander's seat.
I quickly looked at Shepard, wondering how she would take this.
"That's called insubordination, Vakarian." she called back. "I won't have it on my ship."
"Fortunately for me, we are not on your ship, commander." Garrus grinned, showing his fearsome teeth.
"Thwarted by a technicality!" Shepard yelled, but her smile was infectious, and there was no anger in her voice. "Dammit, Garrus!"
Lizbeth righted herself, looking just as bewildered as I was by the verbal sparring. All I knew was that I found human nature more and more intriguing as I witnessed it. Not moments ago, Shepard had been distant and chilled, yet now she was warm and laughing. For a second, I wondered if there were lines in the human heart like the scar across Shepard's face…a clear place for the soul to dwell and emotions rise to the surface, but when the line was crossed…new emotions, totally separate from those indulged before.
It bewilders and fascinates me simultaneously. Yet I am afraid to voice my questions…for I do not know what line they will force her to cross.
The radio crackled as it latched onto the same channel that had led us to the ExoGeni survivors. "Jeong…don't…please…put that damn…down."
Lizbeth's head rose and her eyes widened. "That's my mother's voice." she whispered, confirming my thoughts that it had sounded much like Juliana.
"They must have a comm station open." Garrus said.
"Commander Shepard, please." Lizbeth begged. "She…she sounded like she was in trouble. Please…"
"Don't worry, Miss Baynham." Shepard had studiously avoided using the woman's first name since learning of her deception. "That's our next stop."
What is going on? Has the situation among the survivors somehow turned violent? Do they know what has happened to the colonists? Have they been attacked?
The Mako screeched to a stop and Lizbeth threw open the side entrance. Garrus missed her arm by inches as she ran down towards the bunker where we had found the survivors. Shepard cursed and darted out of the door, leaving her helmet behind, ordering us to follow.
We walked down to the bunker's entrance. Lizbeth was crouched behind one of the supply crates, her face pale with fear. I saw the reason in front of us.
Jeong held a gun in his hand, waving it at the ExoGeni employees, save for the security personnel.
"This is madness, Jeong." Juliana spoke, shielding the others that she could. "What good will you achieve by doing this?"
Shepard strode ahead, ignoring the fact that the muzzles of guns followed her every move. I remained beside her, remembering her words, that I would be safe beside her, to trust her in the field.
"What the hell is going on here?" she demanded, and Jeong turned, his pistol pointed directly at Shepard's heart.
"Don't take one step closer, commander." he warned. "Or someone will pay for it."
"Oh, I see." Shepard nodded, not even looking at the gun, instead staring into the man's wide-set, beady eyes. "You know what's happening at the colony, don't you, Jeong."
"I don't know what…"
"And you're thinking that it's in ExoGeni's best interests not to have witnesses don't you." Shepard continued, unfazed by his interruption. "That's what you do, isn't it? Protect corporate? At all costs?"
"It's not so different from your Alliance, commander." Jeong postured. "ExoGeni has a file on you, you know. I've looked at your war record." his voice rose as he spoke and began pacing, his gun always pointed at Shepard's chest. "I've seen what you've done! You, of all people, will understand the sacrifices necessary to protect the greater interests present in the galaxy!"
In a move so fast I could not see its entirety, Shepard pulled her pistol from its holster and fired. Jeong fell to the ground and I turned away, unable to witness yet another human death.
"I told him to find a heart." Shepard whispered.
Shepard looked at the ExoGeni security officers who moved forward. Garrus lifted his rifle to his shoulder and I flared a shield of biotic energy around myself in hopes to ward them off. They moved back, raising their weapons skyward in a sign of surrender.
Lizbeth ran to her mother and embraced her and the lines on Shepard's face seemed to deepen. Juliana looked at the commander, tears in her eyes. "Thank you." she whispered.
Shepard nodded. "So you know about the colonists?" she asked.
"We do." Juliana answered. "The Thorian is controlling them."
"Okay." Shepard squared her shoulders and holstered her weapon. "How can I kill it without hurting them?"
You just killed! my thoughts exclaimed. How can you go from taking life to the desire to preserve it in…in seconds!? Does what you just did not affect you? This is different from the man in the hangar…he was killed by the geth but this…you took this life yourself, Shepard. Is there no remorse? No guilt? Does his blood not burn on your hands…for it burns on mine...even though I did not pull the trigger.
