A/N: You think you know. You might - but most likely, you don't.
Chapter 28: Plan B
Xavier let his wheelchair carry him idly through the gardens, stopping at last among his beloved roses. One of the younger and more troubled girls, a child who'd come from the inner city with the power to work with everything green and growing, had helped him plant a new bush for every student who passed through his school. Jean's roses were near the back of the garden, with his own plant and Scott's and Hank's. He'd seen them every summer, all the years they'd been his students, and even though they were just green bushes in the February chill, he remembered their flowers. No one knew they had personalized rose plants – Xavier could imagine how some of them would react, especially Logan. But some, like Sabere and Jean, he sometimes wished knew. He had chosen huge brilliant scarlet blooms with peach-colored hearts for Jean, representing her warmth and strength. Sabere's flowers were similar, a rich soothing burgundy that lightened to light pink to white hearts. He saw now that his choice was correct. He'd hoped to capture her loyal core, which was sometimes hidden under a thoughtful surface. When her visions weren't the cause of the problem, she was the voice of reason after Scott – her voice based on emotion and his on tactics. But she'd also proven herself just as fiery and loyal as Logan, hence the heart of the flower. Being at the mansion for such a comparatively short time had not held her back from making decisions based on the loyalties and affections that he saw in his first students.
It was that same loyalty that brought the X-Men together even now, facing a threat on one really expected them to defeat. Of course there was always a change they'd somehow win – they'd done the impossible before – but Xavier had slowly begun to say goodbye to his dream, and his roses.
His students.
Not one had deserted, he realized. Even with Sabere's constant terrifying visions and the government's untimely release of their cure, everyone had stayed together. Even Rogue, who had come back from the hands of their enemy, confident in herself and her abilities and ready to pay the price that came with her phenomenal powers. She'd quickly returned to her usual spunky vibrancy, determined to help the team again.
She was their joy, Logan their unexpected fiercely loyal soul, joining Jean, the heart, and Scott, the leader. Storm, the fire, the determination. Rogue, the quiet passion. Nightcrawler, the faith. Sabere, the unconditional loyalty that drew everyone to a hopeless but necessary cause.
He felt tears in his eyes. If Erik had only gotten a taste of the loyalty and determination and love in this mansion, things might have ended differently…if he only saw that loyalty existed to more than a cause – rather, to people…
"Professor?"
His subconscious had sensed Sabere coming, but the rest of him had been so wrapped up in memories and might-have-beens that he jumped. He turned with a real smile.
She didn't look good, though. Almost a month in a coma had taken some weight off her already slender frame, and she looked pale and exhausted. But Xavier, sensing what the headblind couldn't see, knew that while Sabere was tired, she was also brimming with determination – determination to see this thing to its end. She smiled back, and it did wonders to her worn face.
"I had to see for myself," she said quietly. "Did it really work?"
Xavier nodded and let a taste of his gratitude seep into her mind as he spoke. "I owe you a great debt, Sabere."
He knew she could feel how thankful he was, but she shook her head. He felt fear again, old and masked but still present.
"The Phoenix left. I was expecting it to kill me like it killed Jean, and it kept talking about a price – but it healed you and left." She wasn't asking for advice, because she knew he had none. She was just reporting – or confessing.
"It's done, and now we can go forward," he assured her with the usual false confidence. He was tired of promising everyone it would be fine. "Now we take the next steps."
"And walk them well," she agreed reminiscently, and with a small nod, wandered out of the garden.
Xavier looked back at the closed rosebuds and wondered about his own next steps – his plan and his last hope.
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The next day, Sabere was rested enough to get back to the Danger Room. It had been a quiet month, and without Beast to design new training simulations for them, the X-Men were bored. Apocalypse hadn't budged, and Kurt had been taking Gambit to New York to, as he put it, snoop. Of course, he had not told Sabere about their little missions – no reason to worry her now that she was finally awake. Besides, they'd been successful. Gambit was a born and bred thief, and could break into anything.
He broke the news at their next Danger Room session. Xavier gave him the floor after explaining what they'd been up to (Kurt couldn't avoid Sabere's accusatory glares), and Gambit stepped up with a confident grin.
"So 'Pocalypse took over NYC," he began. "Put up those nasty blue shields like Paree an' London an' Cairo. The blue man an' I have been exploring, and – " he paused for effect, still beaming. "I can get us in."
"Into the city? How?"
"The docks. One of the docks sticks outta the shield a bit, and we can wiggle our way under that an' get in an' kick his ass for sure this time."
"Kitty, how long do you think it'll take to design a simulation of this one?" Scott asked. Despite the fact that Kitty's powers made her an enemy of circuits everywhere, she was a computer geek and had taken up tinkering with the Danger Room in her spare time.
"Depends on how much I'd need to write…if I can just work it into an existing program, it'll be shorter…"
Scott nodded. "Take Remy, sit this one out. See if you can cook up a practice run for us."
He turned to the rest of the team. "Jean and Betsy are on an errand, but we can practice without them. Freestyle, I think."
"Starting us off easy, eh?" Logan asked with a smirk.
"Enjoy it while it lasts."
The lights went off, and when they clicked back on, the Danger Room was a riot of whirling blades, trip wires, tasers, and lots and lots of guns. Kurt noticed a grin slide onto Sabere's face, an adrenaline-fueled battle grin, and dared a smile back.
"Welcome back, Liebchen." They threw themselves into the fray.
This was one of the more chaotic Danger Room arrangements. Some of the weapons were concealed, designed to wait certain amounts of time for the subject to get focused on another arsenal and then take them by surprise. The idea was to make sure the X-Men stayed aware of their surroundings at all times, but these sessions usually ended in blood.
Logan, on the other hand, wasn't at all concerned. He leaped like an animal from threat to threat, slicing metal and dodging bursts of flame. Sabere, Kurt noticed, was taking it a bit easier – she was heavily shielded and tended to stay in one place, waiting for danger to come to her. But he saw her confidence and strength coming back, and soon she was airborne, flinging telekinetic bolts at anything she could see. He decided to move in and see what damage they could do together.
Two guns tracked Kurt, as he predicted, and he leaped forward. Suddenly two lines of fire sliced through his side, and then he was across the room. He'd let something slip, lost his focus, and now he was hurt. Somehow he had unconsciously 'ported himself across the room, and he lay against the wall, and was more in shock because of that experience than because of the injuries. He spotted their cause a few feet away – the rotating blades, the hidden ones that had popped up out of his peripheral vision.
"He's bleeding!" Rogue called.
Sabere was already on her way, the blue healing glow circling her hands. Logan jogged over for a look. Kurt watched the blood flow freely, surprised at how bright it was against his dark skin.
The wounds were, in a word, weird. Both blades had gouged two inch-deep cuts across his side, but when he'd ported, the blades had passed on through and the cuts simply ended. That must have been how he'd survived Stryker's bullet, he realized. These weren't too dangerous, and Sabere could heal them easily.
And she did – too easily. She traced two fingers in a V, down both cuts and blue skin sealed flawlessly over both. The healing glow flared white and was suddenly fiery orange – and Sabere's eyes unfocused. She let her hands fall to her lap as he scooted upright, staring at her.
"Sabere." Logan tensed, fists clenched, and watched as she let the tiny flames dance harmlessly around Kurt's wound, her hands, on the cold floor around them.
"You said it left," Kurt added. She ignored them both, eyes vacant but holding a buried fire, and Logan shot a glance at Kurt before lunging forward to pin Sabere to the ground.
"What the…get off me!" She struggled underneath him for a moment, then her eyes flashed blazing flame and Logan flew back twenty feet. Kurt braced himself, but Sabere had clapped her hands to her mouth in horror. Her eyes flew to Kurt, their fire gone, and he didn't know what to say.
"Bloody…hell." Logan got to his feet stiffly and cracked his neck. "I seem to remember you telling us all that the Phoenix left after you – it – healed Xavier. So…" His voice was dangerously calm. Kurt was tempted to stand between the two, in case of a fight.
"How did you just do that?" Logan finished.
Sabere shook her head, eyes wide. "I don't know how. It was just reflex, I swear, I didn't even think about how much energy I was using…and when you attacked me, I didn't know, I just tried to push you off, I didn't know you'd go…"
Kurt would have been angry if Logan wasn't already enraged. "How long has it been back?" Kurt asked calmly, quietly, so Logan wouldn't try to get the truth out of her with claws.
"I don't know! I didn't know it was back! It hasn't said anything!" Her eyes swam with tears, and Kurt knew she was telling the truth.
"We will have Xavier look at you," he said quietly. "Maybe he can find out what it wants."
"What it wants…" Logan snorted. "It didn't get the life in wanted in trade!"
Kurt shook his head against the wave of cold fear that washed over him. It hadn't taken her the first time, it wouldn't take her now…not now that they had only this last battle.
"It'll be fine," Sabere pleaded. "Please, I know I've been nothing but bad news for the past few months, but we can do it this time. It'll work. I'll take care of it."
Logan didn't look at her. Xavier rolled in, but before anyone could explain anything, Storm and Betsy ran in behind them, both still in street clothes.
"Professor, maybe you can explain this," Storm said with dangerous calm, holding up a small white box. The label said Bishop Pharmaceuticals.
Xavier sighed. "A leftover sample. I requested it."
"Why?"
"Apocalypse. He may be powerful but he is still human – or rather, still a mutant."
The others were not easily convinced. "The British already tried that."
"We have a unique advantage," he said with a smile, feeling for once that his confidence wasn't feigned. "We have the X-Men."
"Oh, and here's another surprise," Logan added with a scowl. "Guess what? We still have the Phoenix, too."
Kurt watched as Sabere folded her arms and clenched her jaw. He wanted to punch Logan – and he'd take the broken fingers gladly – for revealing it like that, shattering so many assumptions and hopes in public, with Sabere now grappling with the revelation that she was still not alone in her head.
Xavier didn't speak. The X-Men stood waiting, everyone watching Sabere as if expecting her to burst into flame and destroy the entire mansion. Finally Xavier spoke.
"I know."
"What?" she gasped, fists clenched. "But…in the garden, why didn't you…?"
"I wasn't sure at the time," he said gently. "I had hoped it was just residue, but I could sense the change in your attitude, in your combat performance."
She shook her head and wandered away from the group, arms folded. Xavier kept talking, still calm.
"We have to look at this as an advantage. With this drug and the Phoenix's power, and the possibility of taking Apocalypse by surprise, we have a chance."
We may, but does she? Kurt thought, knowing Xavier would hear him. To his surprise, Xavier didn't answer. The rest of the X-Men stood awkwardly, no one knowing what to say. Sabere was pacing across the end of the Danger Room, and as Kurt watched, she began to leave glowing red-hot footprints smoldering on the floor behind her. With a quick glance at the professor, he 'ported across the room to stand in front of her.
Her eyes met his, but the familiar green had an unfamiliar madness that ran deep.
"Sabere?" he asked quietly.
"I'm sick of it, Kurt," she whispered, her eyes flicking around the room, as if looking for an escape. "I want my mind back."
"I know you do, but sanity isn't a luxury many of us can afford to have right now," he said, his hands on her cheeks. He was trying to be funny, responding with humor like he always did. He didn't know what else to do.
"I'm not me anymore," she gasped, her eyes finally meeting his. "I can't think straight, all I see right now is fire – "
Suddenly her skin was too hot for him to touch, and he pulled back in surprise. The floor of the Danger Room glowed under her feet.
"I want it out!" she screamed, falling to her knees, and Kurt barely had time to leap back as a column of flame roared up around her.
Then, abruptly, it was gone, and Colossus strode calmly forward to lift Sabere's limp body from the still red-hot floor.
"She'll be fine," Xavier told them. "I've put her out for a while."
"What about the Phoenix?" Logan asked.
Xavier shook his head. "It's still there," he sighed, "and even if I could make it leave…"
"You wouldn't?" Logan growled. He clenched his fists and Kurt hoped he wasn't about to attack the Professor. "It's driving her insane, it's probably going to kill her, and you're just going to leave it there?"
"She wants me to," Xavier insisted.
Kurt actually did have to restrain Logan this time. "Did you not just see her nearly blow up the Danger Room, she hates it so much?" he snapped.
"She wants it out, but she wants to help, too," Xavier said softly. "I think she's still willing to pay its price."
"You're going to let her die."
"I'm going to let her do as she sees fit," Xavier retorted. "Believe me, it hurts me just as much."
"No," Kurt interrupted. "It doesn't."
He shoved Logan's arm away and 'ported out into the cold.
