Chapter 27 - The Pain of Death
"Alec!" Jace screamed, the name clawing out of his throat.
He couldn't lose another sibling. Not his parabatai …
The scream of his name that left Alec's mouth was branded into Jace's brain and he couldn't shake the horror it brought on in him.
In the back of his head, Jace couldn't believe it. He refused to believe that Isabelle had brought Alec down with him. Looking out the broken window, Jace saw a bat flying away from the Institute, a glint of silver and gold on its wings. It flapped away like it was injured, one wing faltering every so often.
What the - ?
In the most horrible moment he could have chosen, Magnus ran back into the library, looking flustered.
"What happened? I heard - " Magnus said but Jace had already zoned out.
The fact that Jace would never be able to feel the connection -
Jace froze for a moment. His parabatai connection was still there. He didn't feel anything different. Jace ran over to the broken window and peered over the edge.
For a moment, he was afraid that he was wrong, that he was just wrong about the parabatai bond, that he was just too numb to feel it. The last thing he needed to see was Alec's broken body lying on the stone pavement that surrounded the Institute.
Breathing every single praise to the Angel, Jace saw Alec hanging by the tips of his fingers over the edge of the window, grunting.
"Took you long enough," Alec grunted, scowling at his parabatai. Jace went to his knees and took Alec's hand, hauling his parabatai up.
If Alec fell now, hanging on by his fingertips, he probably wouldn't die but probably just make it out with a broken or twisted ankle. But if he hadn't managed to catch onto the edge and had fallen at the angle he was falling, Alec would've probably ended up with a cracked or dented skull, a possible broken spine and maybe a broken leg, not surviving the fall. Alec groaned, pulling himself up as well.
"I thought you were a dead-man." Jace said, groaning.
"Alec!" Magnus called in alarm, rushing to his side. Gripping Alec's upper arm while Jace had Alec's hand and forearm, they yanked him up. Alec groaned as he flopped onto solid ground again. He supported his upper body on his elbows as he kneeled on the ground, his breathing heavy.
Slowly, as if he were being mentally attacked, Alec put his head in his hands, his breathing turned ragged like he was inhaling acid.
Now that Alec was safe and after the rush of relief faded away slowly, Jace felt himself shut down, the adrenaline leaving his body, being drained away along with his ability to feel.
"Isabelle," Alec moaned. The name sliced through Jace and he inhaled sharply, his chest heaving.
"Alec?" Magnus said worriedly, placing a ring laden hand on Alec's cheek. "Tell me what happened? Alexander?"
"Oh God," Alec moaned, ignoring Magnus, as if he were in deep pain. Jace stared blankly at him. In the back of his mind and in the pits of his heart and stomach sharp slivers of despair, anger and anguish were mauling at Jace but he chose to shut down, folding and encasing himself again in the shiny untouchable shield that he had hid behind for sixteen years. It was weaker though, it had been a while since he had used that facade. He had grown out of practice. The shield was more vulnerable - he was more vulnerable. As hard as he tried to feel nothing, he still felt a flicker of cold, dark despair.
"I only thought she was lying. That she was Isabelle, my baby sister and maybe she was under a spell or something - not anything like this," Alec said, burying his face in Magnus's chest while the warlock gently stroked his dark hair. Jace could see that Magnus was extremely confused and had no idea what horrid things had happened.
His heart ached terribly at the sight of Magnus comforting Alec - Jace couldn't help but wish that Clary was not here to comfort him, to hug him and tell him they'd get through this together, that Clary would be there to support him every step of the way.
It was hard to believe how much gentle care and love there was in a gesture as simple as hugging, stroking the hair of someone you love or caressing their cheek but Jace could see it and he understood.
Something that felt like it was only yesterday when it happened replayed in his mind. Things weren't completely peachy after the war. Clary fell into a short depressed and became emotionally unstable state but Jace was there for her, made sure she got back to her feet. Jace remembered the little kisses he would plant on Clary when she was down - racked with guilt over the fallen Shadowhunters who died in the war - the hugs he gave her when she cried, the gentle caresses on her cheeks to soothe her.
If she was hurt, it felt like he was the one hurting but twofold.
Jace shot Magnus a look that said I'll-explain-later. Magnus nodded, his forehead creased. Jace looked around, slowly getting to his feet as if he was moving in slow motion and time was slowing down.
Simon was kneeling on the floor a few feet away, his head bowed as he stared at his hands. A bloody but shallow gash that Jace didn't recall seeing Simon get ran from his left collarbone to his sternum, his black shirt ragged and blood stained.
Slowly wobbling over to them, Maryse was pale-faced, her lips trembling as she fought the urge to cry. It was rare - almost nonexistent - to see Maryse Lightwood cry. The last time he had seen his mother cry was when … Max passed away.
It was one thing for a mother to lose one child but to lose two - Jace couldn't imagine or comprehend what Maryse felt.
All Jace wanted to do now was honestly hunt down the bastards that killed his sister and kidnapped his Clary and doing God-knows-what with her - the thought chilled Jace to the marrow - and break every Clave law that banned him from torturing or killing Nephilim-slaying criminals without the permission of the Clave. He was going to do more than kill them - Jace couldn't be as lenient as that. He wanted to destroy every single atom in their bodies and apply every single method of torture he knew of to them. The same white hot fiery rage and hatred that he had held for Sebastian returned, only this time, a teensy bit hotter.
Maryse crumbled beside Alec, pulling Jace down with her. Magnus pulled back and backed away slightly, giving the woman some space. Maryse hugged both her sons tightly, her head on Alec's shoulder and the hand that was around Jace's neck was fisted tightly in his shirt.
Jace brought one hand and gently rubbed Maryse's back, hoping the gesture would calm or soothe her. Jace didn't feel the urge to cry. He was too filled with hatred to cry.
"My boys … my sons … my boys ..." Maryse whispered, her voice barely a whisper.
Over Maryse's shoulder, Jace saw Simon sort-of talking to Magnus. He had moved from the floor to one of the chairs and his head was still bowed, his palms facing upwards. Magnus awkwardly patted Simon's shoulder and knelt down next to him, his lips moving quickly as he said something to Simon.
Colette watched all of them, her face white as a sheet as she cradled her injured arm to her chest. Her face was mildly horrified, her mouth open as she stared at the broken window.
"Mom," Jace said, pulling away. He got to his feet, his teeth gritted as he started walking towards the door.
"Jace, where are you going?" Alec said. Jace could hear Alec staggering to his feet. A hand clapped over his shoulder a few seconds later, like it could stop his walking. Jace stopped walking on his own will and turned around to look at Alec.
"I'm going to get Clary back." Jace said, with as much calm he could muster. Jace could hear how cold and tense he really sounded and Alec could too.
"How?" Alec said softly. "You have no idea where Clary is. A church that serves the devil? That's extremely helpful." Alec said, pulling out extremely with sarcasm.
"I may have an inkling on this church." Jace said, hoping that his intuition was right. The church that was forming in his mind had only been mentioned once by the two people that were both gone in two different ways.
"How?" Alec asked.
"Just trust me, Alec. Okay?"
Alec looked at Jace, searching his eyes. Finally, Alec sighed, looking deflated and tired. "Okay."
"First, we're gonna need weapons." Jace said, his jaw gritting.
"You coming Simon? Magnus, mom?" Alec said, turning around. Hesitantly, Alec turned to look at a very silent Colette. "Colette?"
She looked up, startled that Alec had called her. Her curly blond hair bounced as she did and Jace saw a raw almost pure look in her face now. There was no trace of the hard edged, arrogant and plain bitchy look she always wore.
"Um … maybe." she said, biting her lip. She actually looked lost for a moment "Let me just … excuse me." Colette muttered, pushing past Jace without so much as a glance or finishing her sentence before scampering away.
Jace shrugged Colette's out-of-character attitude, still too numb to every other emotion and feeling except hate and anger. In his mind, he still felt slightly lost, like his mind did not know how to cope with such immense feelings of grief and anger.
"Alec, you two go ahead. I have to inform the Clave about this." Maryse said wearily like she had aged a decade for every second since they found out Isabelle was dead.
"You mean Robert." Alec said, his voice restrained.
"I mean the Clave. I'll tell your father after that." Maryse said with a set jaw.
Simon joined Jace and Alec, looking very calm though his hands were clenched into trembling fists. He nudged his glasses up before a taking a deep breath that sounded so shaky you would think he had a punctured lung.
There was something off about Simon's calm demeanor. Jace could see the barely contained simmering rage and grief in his eyes.
"Alec darling, you go ahead. I'll join you later." Magnus said, his tone sad and empathetic.
Just as they left the library, Jace heard Maryse sob Isabelle's name once before Magnus's calming voice, much to soft for Jace to hear, tried to give comfort to Maryse.
Jace could barely tell the difference between his movements and time. One moment he was walking in the dim hallways that equally matched his mood and the next Jace found himself sliding a seraph blade into his belt in the weapons room.
Alec was busying himself by examining a sheath quiver of arrows. "Iron, silver, blessed metal ..." Alec muttered as he looked at the arrowheads. He slung a bow over his shoulder and strapped the quiver of arrows across his back. He grabbed several seraph blades and slipped them into his belt. Jace continued sliding blades, daggers and knives into every vacant and available pocket and sheaths he had on him.
He slid his stele into the small loop on his thigh sheath which was specially made for keeping steles and an extra stele into the loop next to it. Who knew when you would need an extra stele?
Jace grabbed a sacrificium, a blade specially made by the Iron Sisters solely for the use of Shadowhunters. No mundane or Downworlder could hold the blade unless they'd fancy being short of an arm. Or two. Depending on how they held it. Not a lot of sacrificium blades were made by the Iron Sisters. He had been told that sacrificium blades were extremely hard to make though extremely efficient against demons.
In a form of thanks for killing Sebastian Morgenstern, the Shadowhunters of the New York Institute had received a bundle of recently made sacrificium blades. The Iron Sisters had made them shortly after the war, in case of another war.
How it worked or why nothing but a Shadowhunter could hold it Jace had no idea.
Sacrificium meant sacrifice in Latin but Jace couldn't see anything sacrificial about the blade.
The Iron Sisters were as secretive as the Silent Brothers and seeing that not only would he never be able to pass the application form to become an Iron Sister but he decided he could live a long and happy life not knowing.
"Is that a crossbow?" Alec said. Jace looked up, slipping the sacrificium into a sheath. Simon held a silver and wood crossbow in his hands, examining it like it was a true specimen.
"Yes, Alec." Jace said impatiently.
Alec nodded, eyeing the weapon like he was about to steal it.
"I feel like we're going to war." Alec muttered. Jace noticed, as Alec tore his eyes away from the crossbow and to the seraph blades before him and sliding them into his belt that every single action that his parabatai did was more deliberate and unnecessarily rough.
"We are," Jace muttered, sliding a rapier into its scabbard. Feeling like he was efficiently equipped with weapons, Jace started to pace, his mind working like clockwork, everything whirring and clicking in his head.
He remembered something Hodge had told him when he was fifteen, something about a mass murdering of Shadowhunters. His brain worked faster, connecting the dots and fitting the puzzle pieces together.
"Are we good to go?" Simon said.
"Yes. But go where...exactly?" Alex said, looking at Jace with an arched eyebrow.
"I may have an idea on whee. But first, I need to go get something from the library." Jace said, tension thick in his throat.
"Okay then. Let's go." Alec said, his eyes hard.
Maryse was talking heatedly on the phone, her voice cracking every so often as she tried to choke down tears when they got into library.
"You listen to me! No! You. Listen. To. Me!" Maryse growled. "You will send reinforcements and an investigation team or I swear I will make the remaining of whatever sad pathetic term you have left on the Council hell." Maryse bellowed, her voice completely authoritative. No was not an option. Maryse slammed the receiver and exhaled angrily, collapsing into the chair behind her.
Jace wondered who she had been talking to. Robert? The Consul?
She looked up at them, her eyes sad. Her cheeks were flushed, the rest of her pale and sick looking. "Are you going?"
"Almost. We need to check on something." Jace muttered. He went to one of the shelves, his hands skimming the spines of leather bound and hardcover books. He wasn't looking for anything about devil worshippers or devil worshipping sites. He was looking for something quite opposite.
"You told them?" Jace heard Alec say.
"Yes. They aren't happy and I may be in trouble." Maryse said, exhaling in frustration.
Jace, not being able to find the book he wanted cursed loudly. "Maryse, do you know of this story about a mass murdering of Shadowhunters about ten years ago. It was supposedly on holy ground?" Jace said before Maryse could scold him for using a vulgar obscenity in front of her.
"Not many people know what really happened. Actually, I doubt anybody really does. There was just a lot of bodies and blood in this half built church. I don't think it ever finished building. It was all the way in Ireland, if I'm not mistaken." Maryse said, looking at Jace with a look that asked where-are-you-going-with-this?
"And they were murdered by demons right?" Jace said slowly, hoping his assumption was right.
"Yes. Demonic ichor was found and lots of ashes." Maryse said as-a-matter-of-a-factly.
"But demons can't step foot on hallowed ground." Alec said, his eyebrows scrunching together.
"Well, it is an unfinished church. Maybe the holiness doesn't apply until it's fully built." Simon suggested in a monotone.
"It still applies. Interesting, isn't it?" Jace said. "Hodge told me about this before. I quite frankly remember him saying about how that church wasn't all saint, that it was supposed to serve a different purpose so it wasn't really hallowed ground."
"I take it we're going to Ireland?" Alec said.
"Not yet. We're going to need to get some other things if we're going to face God-knows-what in Ireland." Magnus said, standing in the doorway of the library. For a moment, an image of a hideous leprechaun wielding a knife popping into Jace's head. "Better be safe than sorry."
To his surprise, Jace found himself staying silent. He wanted to protest, say how little time they had, that Clary could be dead for all they knew -
Jace took a deep breath as that fact threatened to knock the breath out of him. Magnus had a point. They had no idea what they were walking into. Going unprepared wouldn't do Clary, or them, much good.
"Be careful, all of you. I can't lose another child." Maryse said quietly. Alec comfortingly kissed his mother on the forehead before turning to leave. Maryse caught Jace's eyes and bored her blue ones into his gold ones meaningfully. He nodded, trying to smile but failing.
Magnus met them by the library doors, immediately taking Alec's hand comfortingly.
"Colette's not coming, by the way. I knocked on her door earlier and she told me she practically yelled in my face to piss off." Magnus said, sounding angry and slightly annoyed. "The Clave is going to question Maryse. Actually, all of you aren't supposed to go but Maryse is going to cover up for you people." There was a glimmer of sadness in his eyes. Maryse must have told him everything about what happened to Isabelle.
Simon scoffed. "I didn't expect more from Colette."
"Jocelyn?" Jace asked.
"I haven't told her." Magnus said simply. Jace felt a small sense of relief and indecisiveness blossoming in his chest. If he told Jocelyn, the woman would blame him, keep Clary away from him when they got her back and possibly try to kill him. If he didn't tell Jocelyn, she'd get mad, blame Jace, try to kill him and still keep Clary away from him. "We haven't got time anyways."
Jace decided to save himself the drama now for later and kept quiet about telling Jocelyn. "C'mon. We need to hurry." he said, not wanting to dwell on the topic any longer. "Maryse will probably tell her anyways."
Jace stabbed at the button for the elevator impatiently, running his hand through his hair again.
"I used a little magic to identify the blood that was left behind by her and it was ichor. Mixed with vampire blood." Magnus said, looking troubled.
"Vampire blood and demon ichor? How the hell did that demon thing have mixed blood?" Alec said stubbornly.
Jace felt himself sway slightly and he reached and managed to latch onto someone who Jace assumed was Alec.
"Are you okay, Jace?" Alec asked, his voice raw with worry.
"I'm fine," Jace muttered, just as the ancient elevator dinged, signalling its arrival.
I think so, Jace thought doubtfully as he stepped in.
Knock.
"Answer it but don't open the door."
Colette gulped, feeling the tip of the dagger on the base of her neck. An arm was hooked around her arm, holding her in place and in a position that should Colette try to move or jerk away, her arm could be easily broken with a hard jerk of her attacker.
She had been getting ready, throwing on gear and equipping herself with her secret stash of seraph blades when she had felt the cold metal of the blade of a dagger being pressed painfully into the soft flesh at her neck and her body completely immobilized. Her legs had froze, not out of shock or anything on her accord and a heavy weight had been placed on her chest.
Colette had been ready to help hunt Isabelle's killer. She didn't particularly like Isabelle but that was only because the dark haired girl had been mean and cruel to her since the first day she was shipped from her beautiful France to this cold hellhole. She had thought that maybe, if she could help hunt down Isabelle's killer and Clary's kidnapper, she would be forgiven for whatever wrong she had done to everyone in the Institute and finally fit in. Finally be accepted instead of being some pest that they were forced to live with.
"Who is it?" Colette said, feeling the pressure of the blade lighten ever so slightly.
"It's Magnus. Are you coming?" Magnus's voice said from outside. The pressure of the blade increased, dangerously close into cutting into the skin.
"Um, no." Colette said, her voice barely above a whisper. Her heart was pounding in her chest, threatening to grind through her ribs and pop out of her chest.
"What?"
"No. I'm not." she said, a little more volume to her sentence.
"Colette, we need your - "
"Look, Magnus, I'm not going, okay?" Colette said, feeling the blade of the dagger biting into her skin. She tried to ignore the hot, sharp stinging sensation on her neck. "I've got better things to do anyways. Go tell your sweetpea - " Colette tried to put as much sarcasm and spite and disgust in that one word. Usually, it was easy. Homosexual relationships shouldn't be allowed in the Clave and Colette felt rather uncomfortable around homosexual people but this time the spite and disgust didn't really sound right. " - that I send my condolences and to drop by for a pity condolence gift basket later."
Magnus cursed loudly at her before stomping away. Colette hoped that Magnus hadn't cursed her or anything. For the first time ever, the words that left her mouth made her feel guilty.
She felt warm blood trickle down her chest and soak into her cotton shirt.
Her attacker laughed. "You can't seriously be feeling sorry? Colettia Anabella Ravenshade feeling sorry for others?" her attacker scoffed. Her attacker, who was a girl from the tone of her voice had a voice that was silvery, elegant and graceful like wind chimes in a breeze and there was a trace of a British accent. Her laugh was tinkly and breathy, completely amused at the fact that Colette felt sorry for others and regretted.
"How did you know my full name - ?"
"I know everything about you, sweetheart. But before I break out into a full autobiography of you, let's get you away from this hellhole, shall we?"
Colette felt her knees buckle and she found herself lying on the floor of her bedroom, staring at her white ceiling. An intense feeling of lethargy enveloped Colette and she felt her eyelids droop, growing heavier and heavier.
"Sorry, darling. It's for your own good."
Colette felt herself being dragged up and being plunged into oblivion.
A/N - I hope this eases your pain slightly from the last chapter! I have to say your comments were very amusing xD Anyway … what did you think? How do you think this is going to end?
