Chapter 106: Drunken Animals

Summary: Fox and Falco want to get drunk; Samus challenge a thief in a purse duel.

Production code: 701

Rated TV-14-DLV


The drinking buddies are rushing to Smash Bar.

"Come on, you guys. We need to be first to be at the bar," said Fox.

"Why are making this, uh, a big deal? We don't always get there first," said Link.

"So that we hang out with our buddy," said Fox.

They arrived but that always did.

"Damn it! Why are we always the second one?" Fox is annoyed with this.

"Because he really loves this place," said Wolf.

"Well I don't know. I am just going to talk him through this," said Fox.

"Hello ass wad!" the guys said.

"Uh boys who you're talking to?" asked Mark.

"This guy," Falco replied.

"You, fellow, I need to ask you something," said Fox.

"Beat it," he said, "I'm here first fair and square."

"No, not that, you douche," said Link. "Why are you always beating us in like the past week or so?"

"Because I always get hungry in the morning. Besides this place have everything!" the guy replied.

"You came here just for that? That is bullcrap." Yoshi voiced his opinion on the guy's reason.

"You guys, get him," Link commanded.

They get the man and beat him up.

"Hey hey what the hell is going on?" asked Mark.

"We want to be here first, especially Fox and Falco," Link replied, "Is there's an easier way you could help those two?"

"Yes. Super Hyper Acho. But remember, Fox and Falco must it use it at their risk," said Mark.

"Okay thanks Mark."

After he got beaten up the man yelled "I'M NEVER GONNA EAT THIS CRAP AGAIN!"

"GOOD FOR YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Mark yelled back.

"Hey you two. Here's a Super Hyper Acho if you're interested," said Link.

"Thanks Link. You're a life saver," said Falco.

"You guys look. Mark's beating the crap outta him," said Fox.

"GO MARK! Beat that guy's ass!" Kirby cheered.

"Yeah destroy him!" said DDD.

*Fist land blow*

The guys cheered.

"That was FREAKING awesome Mark!" said Mark praising.

"Way to go buddy!" said Link.

"I wish I have those move. Either way good job," said Wolf.

"Thanks guys. I hope to see you first tomorrow," Mark said.

Meanwhile at the mall, Samus is shopping. She is looking for a purse.

"How much does this cost?" asked Samus.

"It cost 50$," replied the clerk.

"Crap, I got 45$ dollars. May I buy it with the credit card?"

"Sure. Alright, here you go."

Samus in joy said: "Yes yes yes! It's finally mine! It's finally mine!"

However her happiness was short since she spins the purse a lot that it fell down.

Samus gasped.

"Looks like you're officially screwed considering that you barely bought it," said the clerk.

"Oh God I gotta go find it," said Samus.

She came all the way downstairs to look for the purse.

Suddenly, it was approached by another lady.

"huh?"

"Who purse is this?" the lady asked.

"It's no one, but since it's probably paid you can have it," replied the cashier.

"Oh god no no no no!" Samus yelled.

"Dudette keep it down," the cashier said.

"Sorry I am in a rush right now," said Samus as she continue to chase the thief.

A Plot

The guys are drinking home.

"So what's that you're holding?" asked Yoshi.

"Me and Falco are holding alocholic; it's not drugs but it's to improve our drinking," said Fox.

"Let me get this straight. You two never drank at all?" asked Yoshi.

"Or get drunk?" asked Kirby.

"Actually Link gave them to us," said Falco.

"And Yoshi, we did drank but never even gotten drunk," said Fox.

"I never got drunk either," said Yoshi.

"Same thing here," replied Kirby.

"So the other guys did got drunken like hell with exception of us, Yoshi, Kirby, and Meta Knight," said Fox.

"Eh that's fine with us. Right now, we could wait," said Falco. "Cause I wanna drive until we get into deep drinking."

"Alright Falco..." Mario gave him the keys.

Falco drove and Fox asked him: "Eh Falco can we can start drinking first thing tomorrow morning?"

Falco nodded "Sure, so that we can be firsties..."

The next day...

As Fox, Falco, and Wolf woke up, Falco said: "Alright boys today's drunken day."

"What are you talking about? I had drank once before you guys," said Wolf in a sarcastic tone.

"Ah, lucky bastard. Anywho let's go drink at the bar," said Fox.

As they left, Samus is just pacing around in the bathroom.

She asked to herself: "Why am I such a idiot? I couldn't has done that in a cheerful. I need to call that bitch who stole it."

Samus dialed the phone and called the lady that stole the purse she brought.

"Hello?"

"Hey girl why did you got my purse?" Samus asked her.

"Your purse? I found it as a lost purse," said the lady.

"No I brought it you whore," said Samus.

"oh yeah, what are you gonna do?" asked the lady.

"I am going to the mall again later and I hope to see your lame ass there too," said Samus.

"Fine then it's a purse duel. I'll see ya."

The guys are driving to the bar (with Mario as the driver and Fox and Falco already giving some alcohol)

"Wow you guys are already drunk?" asked Luigi.

"Well duh..." said Falco who was slurred.

"How long did we drank?" asked Fox.

"You drank around the time we left and now you're drunk for the first time," replied Luigi.

"Well come on bitches," said Fox. "More beer is waiting for us."

He and Falco threw the alcohol bottle.

"Hey don't throw crap like that!" said Link.

As the guys entered it was exactly nothing. They were the first.

"Hey boys! Glad you made it," said Mark.

"What's up dude? We just starting drinking like hell," said Falco.

"Yep and we're drunk," said Fox. He then pound the table. "Now give some more beer."

"If you say so," said Mark as gave them the beer.

Fox and Falco drank more beer.

"WHOOO! Dudes, get your asses up! We're gonna watch some sports!" Fox said more slurred.

"Alright who's gonna win?" asked Link.

"I hope the Cowboys. The Yankee can kiss my ass," said Mario.

"Well prepare to be screwed since those dorks picked the Yankees to win," a sarcastic Kirby pointed out.

"Go Yank (for 10 seconds) eeeees!"

"And the Yankees win!" said the announcer. "By only two scores higher than Cowboys."

"Forgot sports! They're full of crap anyway," said Mario.

"You said it. Now let's just drive back home," said Luigi.

"If anyone's want to be the driver, leave it to me," said Fox.

"What? You're drunk, you fool," said Link.

"I also wanna drive," said Falco.

"No, you guys, drinking while driving is illegal," said Yoshi.

"Aw crap one of them is driving now," said Luigi.

"YOU GUYS!" yelled Link. "What did we said?"

"Don't drive and drive..." responded Falco.

"Or we're in deep..."

"OK I heard enough but don't drive yet!" commanded Mario.

"Damn it," Kirby said. "He is drunk driving."

"FOX! STOP THE DAMN CAR!" yelled Link.

"Relax, how bad can it be?" asked Fox.

He is reckless driving since he killed 6 drivers. Of course their car crashed as well.

A cop approached Fox.

"Looks who decided to break the law," said the cop.

"I didn't mean to. I wanna to see what drunk driving looks like," said Fox.

"But it's not good to do that," said the cop.

"So what are you gonna do?" asked Fox.

":You are going to a day in jail," said the cop.

"But I didn't kill anyone," begged Fox.

"Oh yeah? Tell it to the judge when he found out that you killed these people," the sarcastic said whiling putting handcuffs.

As they left off, Falco hit the beer on Link's face and start to bleed.

"OWWW!" he yelled. "WHAT WAS THAT YOU JERK?!"

"Because I was like screw it no drinking anymore," said Falco.

"BUT IT"S HURT!" wailed Link.

"Oh relax. I'm just going smoke now," said Falco.

"Oh no you don't! You and Fox have drug problems or whatever that is," said Mario.

"Yeah and we don't want you to end up like what we did a month ago," said Luigi.

"Either stop this crap OAFA or UWBSOAFA!" said Kirby.

"What?" asked a confused Yoshi.

"I'm just saying it the short way," replied Kirby.

"NEVER!" Falco started to cry. "I want my friend BACK!"

"Well too late you dumb ass," said Link. "You screwed up big time."

"FOX I"M COMING FOR YOU!" yelled Falco.

Link just sighed.

Meanwhile at the mall, Samus is waiting patiently.

"UGH where's the hell is she?"

"Over here, bitch! You wasted all of your hour waiting in this side!" said the purse thief.

"Well it's about time! Let's get it done with," said Samus as she and the purse thief fight.

"OK whoever bleed first will win the purse," said the thief.

"Deal!" Samus heard as she gave out her first punch.

But it soon become difficult because the thief is even using the purse as a weapon.

So in order to avoid the attacks, Samus use her laser. It was direct hit but no blood yet.

"Oh yeah? Well I got another brutal attack!" said the lady.

She did a familiar attack that sent Samus flying to the air but then she uses her missile.

The lady is already attacked by it and she bleeding.

"Look slut you're bleeding! Give it up now," said Samus, looked ready to have to purse.

"NEVER!"

"Alright you asked for it!" Samus held out a snake. It hissed causing the lady to be frighten.

"AAAH! SNAKE!"

"Hahahaha...Never screw with Samus Aran, bitches!"

"Hey Samus you're my hero. What I heard you earlier, can we have some intercourse?" asked a fan.

"What?!"

"But I heard you. You're a pretty person. Let's have sex together," the fan commanded.

"Listen, kid, you're not a adult. So no thanks. Get lost. I already show some happiness," stated Samus.

As Samus walked away the fan just say "I still will get to bang you one day."

At the jail Falco came to Fox and realized about the mistake.

"Fox Fox! Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, Falco. Not feeling great," replied Fox.

"Good cause I'm sorry about today's incident. We were such asses. I wish we didn't got drunk and then you wouldn't be sent to here."

"Falco, just take it easy please. It's only for one day," said Fox.

"Yeah but why Felix doing these type of stories?" asked Falco.

"Because he ran of good ideas for us guys," said Fox.

":Yeah he is not suppose to take this story too far," said Falco.

"I know, but things are gonna change. Tomorrow when you set me free we are never ever doing that getting drunk crap again," said Fox.

"And so does smoking. They're bad for you," said Falco.

"Alright Falco see ya tomorrow. I hope it will be a new beginning for us," said Fox.


END CREDITS

It is a montage. The montage start with Falco getting Fox out of jail. The balloon (for Falco) said "Fox I'm here for you. Now let's start a new life and never think about the bad stuffs." Fox replied "You betcha." It changed to Fox and Falco having a great time together such as playing football, having a eating contest, and several more. Music used during the montage was Good Feeling by Flo Rida.

THE END