Chapter Twenty Eight
The loud noise and the busyness around her overwhelmed her. Quinn stood still in the middle of the street and took it all in with her eyes closed. She took in the stinking scent of the city and slowly breathed out. She opened her eyes and saw all those people hurrying over the street and a small smile played around her mouth. People collapsed with her, murmuring curses, but she didn't even hear them. She had been lucky. In the middle of the night she had arrived in Chicago after long, long drive. She had only stopped when necessary. Driving had emptied her head. Driving had cleared the blurry thoughts. When she had arrived in Chicago, she checked into a hotel. Not even a week later she had found an apartment and a job. Karen had been so glad when she had called, her position as attending was still open at Mercy Hospital. Now she stood in front of the hospital, feeling relieved. This time she would leave her past dead and buried. Taking in the huge building in front of her, she promised herself she would forget all about what had happened. She would forget how it felt to fly so high, to hang on a cable and save someone's live. But most importantly, she would forget Rachel. She would forget how she smelled, how her laugh sounded, how her eyes sparkled, how her voice sounded. She would forget everything.
"Doctor Fabray!"
Quinn looked up and saw a slightly familiar face appear in the crowd. She frowned, this woman apparently knew her and she looked kind of familiar.
"I'm Jessica Smith," the woman said as she stood in front of Quinn.
"Oh, right. Now I remember," Quinn smiled and shook her head. "How are you, doctor Smith?" she asked friendly.
"Good. How have you been?" Jessica asked.
"Good," the blonde replied shortly.
"I heard you came back, the rumors are true then," Jessica said as they made their way to the entrance.
An ambulance just drove off as they reached the parking of the hospital. Quinn sighed as she watched the ambulance leave. For a moment she stood still, convincing herself this was for the best. She could turn around and tell Karen she made a mistake. Now she could return to Roswell, to…
"Doctor Fabray?"
Quinn looked up and saw Jessica waiting in the doorway. She nodded and walked inside. The waiting room was filled with people and Quinn knew this would be a busy day. She half listened to the rambling Jessica and was glad it was a busy day. She really could use the distraction. Her eye caught the small figure at the desk and putted on her fake smile.
"Good morning, doctor McLaughlin," she greeted the small woman.
Karen looked up and smiled as she saw Quinn standing there. She had missed the blonde, more then she would have thought. And now the blonde was back and she thought she understood that Quinn wanted to stay. Karen abandoned her work and walked up to Quinn. She had to look up to the tall blonde and startled as she saw how much of a mess Quinn was.
"Welcome back, doctor Fabray," she smiled.
As she took Quinn to the lounge and lockers, she looked aside at the blonde. Quinn looked even number then she had looked when she worked here. Karen wondered why Quinn had come back, but knew not to ask. She knew Quinn wouldn't say it, she knew Quinn liked her privacy. Still, she was worried about the gorgeous blonde. True, she smiled, but Karen could tell she was faking. She had the feeling Quinn had been through a lot.
"Here's you locker," Karen said and pointed at a locker. "Here's your lab coat and I believe there's a trauma coming in."
Quinn nodded silently, putted away her stuff, putted on her lab coat and followed Karen back to the ER. She had felt Karen's curious looks, but acted like she hadn't noticed. She had seen the worry in the shorter woman's eyes, but hadn't said anything about her sudden return. Soon, she was overwhelmed in her work and hadn't much time to think.
"She really left."
Devastated, Puck stood in the middle of Quinn's now empty living room. Behind him stood Santana, even more devastated. They had fetched the key from Joyce and were watching the living proof of Quinn's departure. Santana walked around, once in a while picking things up. On a small table next to the couch, she found two pictures. One with Quinn and a handsome woman and one with Quinn and Rachel. Santana picked up the one with Rachel and she stared at it. It looked like they were really happy together. The Latina smiled as she remembered how the two of them had acted around each other at school. She set down the picture on the table and looked around her.
"What happened with her? It was like she turned into a complete different person," Santana said, feeling desperate.
In her arms Quinn had turned numb and cold, Santana hadn't Quinn ever seen like this. It had scared her, like she didn't even know the blonde. Quinn had just left, without waiting if Rachel would make it. Santana didn't understand why Quinn had done it. Yes, it's tough to see someone you care about in such a situation, but it wasn't a reason to run off like that.
"I don't know, San," Puck answered honestly.
He had wondered it himself. When he met Quinn again, she had looked different, like something bad had happen. He never had figured it out, Quinn wasn't one to talk much, she never had been. So he had let it rest, figuring there would be a time to ask. Now it was too late, Quinn had left without even saying goodbye. She just delivered the news and had left without an explanation. Now he thought about it, the CO just let it happen, just like Jackie and Joyce. There was something going on, something that had to do with what had happened to Rachel.
"But I do."
They looked up and saw Jackie standing in the doorway with a sad expression, but also looked like she had seen this before. She sighed and walked into the living room. She sat down and motioned to Puck and Santana to do the same. Jackie looked up at the two, they both looked a bit desperate.
"Quinn has been through this situation before. Before you worked here, Puck, with this exact team, there was another team where Quinn was a part of. Quinn was dating the pilot, Jaidy, when that team crashed. They all died, accept for Quinn and Jaidy. Jaidy was in a bad shape and died four days later in the hospital. All those days, Quinn had stayed with her. After Jaidy's death, Quinn changed. She tried to go back to work, but after Jaidy's funeral, she left. We hadn't heard from her over a year, until the CO had found her. When she returned, she was still a wreck. She wasn't the Quinn we got to know, the Quinn you both knew. Then she met Rachel and things changed as they started to date. And now the history repeats itself."
Jaidy stopped speaking and saw tears in Santana's eyes. She swallowed as she saw some resemblance between this Latina and Jaidy. Finally, Puck spoke up.
"Do you have any idea where she went to?" he asked.
"Last time, the CO found her in Chicago in the Mercy Hospital. Perhaps she went back," Jackie said.
Puck nodded, determined to get Quinn return to Roswell. There was no need for her to give up hope, Rachel would need her when she woke up.
Between two trauma's Quinn had found some time to get some lunch. It wasn't like she was hungry, but it was the appropriate thing to do. Her intern Jason Collins had followed. Quinn was glad she had Collins as her intern, he wasn't much of a talker. Without looking, she grabbed something to eat and drink and paid for it. She searched for an empty table and found one near the window. They sat down and eat their lunch in silence. Quinn glanced outside and saw the trees were turning green. She remembered Rachel once told she loved seeing the trees turning green. Inwardly, she shook her head. She wasn't supposed to think about Rachel at all, she was supposed to forget her. It wasn't that easy, she knew that. But she knew there was a way to forget her, although she swore she would never do it again. She had promised Rachel to never drink again, but Rachel wasn't here. Rachel was probably already dead, so she couldn't take Quinn on her promise.
"Are you going to eat that?"
Quinn looked up and saw Jason was pointing at her tray with food. She shook her head and watched him pull the tray towards him. She hadn't touch the food, she wasn't hungry. Suddenly she stood up, she knew she would keep thinking if she would stay sitting here.
"I'm going back. See you in a bit."
Jason just nodded and Quinn walked out of the cafeteria. With her hands in her pockets, she walked back to the ER. As she arrived, she found it quiet. Karen stood at the desk, filling in some forms. Quinn walked behind the desk to pick up her dossiers. Now it was quiet, she had time to do her paperwork.
"I think it's silence before the storm," Karen joked as she saw Quinn.
"Yeah, I guess so," Quinn chuckled and laid her dossiers on the desk. "I'll be in the lounge if you need me," she said to Karen.
"Okay, enjoy the silence," Karen replied.
"Will do."
With the dossiers in her hand, Quinn walked off to the lounge. She opened the door and found the lounge empty and dark. She sighed and sat down. She opened the first file and started reviewing. Not being able to stop thinking about Rachel, she thought back of the night before the crash…
Rachel laid in her arms, they just had the best orgasms yet. Quinn was still coming down from her high as Rachel started to speak.
"Do you think we will ever get rid of him?"
Quinn knew immediately who Rachel meant and had wondered the same thing. Whatever they did, he kept coming back like a bad habit.
"Eventually, we will. We just need to keep our head cool and not let him."
Rachel just nodded and cuddled into Quinn's chest. Quinn felt amazing with her gorgeous girlfriend in her arms and wished this could last forever. Of course she knew it couldn't, but it would be cool if it could.
"It was nice to see Kurt and Blaine again. It's so awesome they are still together," Rachel said and looked up to Quinn.
Quinn smiled at the thought of the gays. It was really nice to see them and she was glad Mercedes had taken them with her.
"Yes, it was. They looked really happy," Quinn agreed and kissed Rachel softly.
Rachel straddled Quinn's lap and pushed Quinn back in the pillow. Mischievously she looked down at Quinn, a smirk played on her face. Quinn just smirked back, enjoying the view.
"Ready for the second round?"
Quinn hadn't realized tears had streaming down her face, until a hand landed on her shoulder. As she looked up, she saw an unfamiliar woman standing next to her. The woman looked like she was Indies or something and had friendly eyes.
"Are you okay?" she asked with a thick accent.
Quinn tried to swallow, but her mouth was dry. Even before she knew it, the woman had knelt down and had wrapped her arms around her.
"Just cry, it helps."
Then Quinn just broke, everything came out. She wrapped her arms around the woman, clinging onto her. She didn't care she was crying in the arms of a strange woman, all she knew was that it felt good at that moment. Finally, she calmed down and the woman wiped away her tears. Shaky, Quinn drew breaths in.
"Better?" the woman asked.
"Yes. Thank you," Quinn replied hoarsely.
"Anytime. Are you new here?" she asked.
"Sort of. I worked here about a year ago. Quinn Fabray," Quinn introduced herself and offered her hand to the woman.
"Nikhita Thakuna," the woman said and shook Quinn's hand. "Nice to meet you, Quinn," she smiled.
"Likewise."
Nikhita stood up and walked to her locker. Quinn watched her put on her lab coat and even in the dim light she could tell Nikhita was handsome. She swallowed and sighed. She couldn't fall in love with anyone, she couldn't afford to lose a loved one again.
"Sorry, now your shirt is wet," Quinn said and tried to smile.
"It's okay. It's better than puke."
This made Quinn laugh and it felt weird to laugh. As soon as she heard the sound, she stopped laughing and bit her lip. Nikhita didn't seem to notice and walked to the door.
"There's a trauma coming in. A double GW, I believe."
Quinn nodded and followed Nikhita out of the lounge. Now the ER was busy again, everywhere were nurses and doctors running around. Quinn pulled Nikhita to the desk to hear what's going on, this looked like more than a gunshot. Karen just got off the phone as they reached the desk.
"Karen, what's going on?" Quinn asked.
Karen eyed the two woman and got from behind the desk.
"Good, you two met. There has been a shooting in a supermarket and Loretta Hospital's ER is closed, so the victims from a car crash are coming in as well," Karen informed them as quick as she could.
"Great. Who's coming in first?" Nikhita asked.
"The car crash."
Karen hadn't even spoken the words when the revolving doors flew open and a heavy bleeding man on a stretcher came in. Quinn and Nikhita exchanged looks and Quinn nodded, she would do this patient.
"I'll do him. Call me if you need me with the shooting victims," she called over her shoulder as she ran with the paramedics to Trauma Two.
With a drink in front of him, Puck sat in an almost empty Raven. He had dropped Santana at the airport, she needed to go back to Los Angeles. She told him she worked as diver and took tourists on trips. He smiled as he thought back of her, he was glad she came. He took a sip of his cognac and winched as the burning fluid slid through his throat.
"How are you doing?"
He looked up and saw Casey sitting next to him. He smiled at her.
"Holding on," he said.
"Good. Did you hear anything from Quinn?" she asked.
"Nope."
Casey nodded and looked aside at Puck. She thought he looked exhausted. She watched him take another sip and frowned. She never had seen him drink this much alcohol.
"You sure you're okay?" she asked softly, placing a hand on his shoulder.
A muscle in his jaw tightened and he looked away from Casey. He was far from okay, to be honest, he was pissed. How could Quinn just leave them? She knew how tough it was here and she needed to be with Rachel. He shook his head and closed his eyes, he didn't want to see the pity in Casey's eyes.
"She just left," he choked out, trying to force back the tears.
"Quinn?" Puck just nodded and clenched his hand in a fist. "It wouldn't be the first time," Casey sighed.
Now Puck looked up, his eyes almost shot fire. His fist landed hard on the tab and Casey was scared he would bite her head off.
"I thought she loved Rachel," he hissed and tried to control his anger.
"She does. You have to understand her, she is scared," Casey said, trying not to show he scared her.
"We all are. No one want to lose her, but do you see us running away?"
"No. She's been through a lot, Noah."
Puck sighed and unclenched his fist. He looked away from Casey, he had seen the fear flash on her face. He knew how she reacted on anger, it scared her.
"I'm sorry, Casey," he whispered.
He looked up as she didn't answer and saw she was crying. Without even thinking, he wrapped his arm around her.
"Hey, don't cry. I'm really sorry," he said, feeling really guilty.
"That's just it. No one ever said their sorry," she sobbed and buried her face in Puck's shoulder.
Puck just kept his arm around her. He wished he had gotten to know her at school, maybe then he would have been able to protect her and wouldn't she be damaged like she was now. He felt guilty he had let his anger take over, knowingly how Casey would react. He sighed once again and was glad he could protect her now. He looked down at her dark hair and fought the urge to press a kiss on her head. The feelings he had for her surfaced strongly and he decided to take the change. As tender as he could, he kissed her head. At first, she didn't reacted, then she looked up with a curious look on her face.
"Did you just kiss me?" she asked, amusement sounded through her voice.
Shyly, he nodded, not daring to look into her eyes. With her hand she lifted his head up and shyly he looked up at her. Biting her lip, she bowed to him and kissed him softly on the lips. Before he could stop himself, he placed his hand on the back of her head and deepened the kiss a bit. Gasping for air they had to break the kiss and now Casey was the one who looked shyly.
"I thought you would never do it," she said and smirked suddenly.
Puck could only smirk back…
Breathing in the cool night air, Quinn stood leaning against the wall staring at a café across the street. Something was holding her back to go inside. On one side she really needed a drink, but on the other side she knew she couldn't do it. She had promised Rachel and she didn't want to break that promise. It was the only thing she had left from Rachel. A promise.
"Hey, what are you doing here in the cold?"
Quinn looked up and saw Nikhita approaching. With her hands deep in her pockets she studied Quinn's troubled face.
"I don't really know," Quinn answered honestly.
"Why don't you come inside and have a drink? It was a tough first day," Nikhita suggested, but Quinn shook her head.
"I can't. I'm an alcoholic," the blonde said.
Nikhita nodded understanding and stared for a second at the café, like she was making some sort of plan. Suddenly she offered Quinn her hand and questioning the blonde looked up.
"I will make sure you won't drink any alcohol. And, I won't either," she said.
Quinn smiled slightly, appreciating the offer. She felt like she had made a new friend and she was glad she did. She liked Nikhita. Quinn accepted her hand and together they walked into the café. After they hung away their coats, they found a quiet table in the back and Nikhita ordered two coke's. For moments none of them said anything, Quinn felt Nikhita was studying her. As their drinks arrived, Nikhita started to speak.
"What did you make come back to Chicago?" she asked.
Quinn groaned inwardly, she had hoped Nikhita didn't want to know. She sighed and wondered what she should answer. She looked up to the Indian woman and met her friendly eyes. Before she even could stop herself, she started talking.
"A few years ago, I worked at rescue helicopter in Roswell. My crew and I crashed one day and only the pilot and I survived. Before the crash, I was dating the pilot, her name was Jaidy. After the crash, I stayed with her in the hospital until she died four days later. I quit my job and came here to work in Mercy. About a year ago, my CO came looking for me and asked me to come back. I decided to return. There I met Rachel, we used to go to school together. We fell in love and a week ago her helicopter crashed as well during a test flight. A few days ago she went in cardiac arrest and I just fled. I don't even know if she's alive. Oh God, I'm a horrible person!"
Quinn threw her head in her arms, not able to look into Nikhita's eyes, which would look accusing. Now she spoke it out loud, she felt so guilty. She should have never left, she should have stayed with Rachel. Suddenly, a soft hand touched her arm and guilty Quinn looked up. Nikhita's eyes weren't accusing her, they looked sympathetic.
"No, you're not. You got scared," Nikhita said softly.
"But that's no reason to run," the blonde sobbed.
"It isn't, but it is understandable. You were scared that what happened with Jaidy, would happen to Rachel." Quinn nodded, she was glad she told Nikhita. "Maybe you should call your friends in Roswell and ask for her," Nikhita suggested.
"No, I can't. What if she died? I don't think I can handle that," Quinn spat, pulling her arm away from Nikhita.
How could she suggest that? She couldn't bear the thought of a dead Rachel. She couldn't call, she didn't want to know. She just needed to forget all about them, about Rachel.
"But, if you don't call, you will never know," Nikhita protested.
"You don't understand! I don't want to know!"
Quinn jumped up and angrily left the café. She should have never told Nikhita…
The room was quiet and dimly lit. It was far past visit hours, but the nurse had allowed Puck to go see Rachel. So now he sat alone next to her bed, looking at her peaceful sleeping face. Ever since he had left Raven, he had a huge smirk on his face that didn't want to disappear.
"Rae, you won't believe what happened to me this afternoon. I kissed Casey! Well, no, she kissed me, but then I kissed her back. I don't know if we're a thing now, but I'm totally in love. Rae, I miss you," he said.
Suddenly her hand twitched, but Puck didn't see it. He was too busy smiling and thinking about Casey. Then, ever so slowly, Rachel's eyes opened. His face fall and he rose to his feet.
"Rae? Can you hear me?" he asked.
She blinked and he let go of his breath. With her hand she reached for her throat and tried to talk. Puck took her hand.
"There's a tube down your throat to help you breath," he told her, trying to reassure her.
With her hand she motioned she wanted to write something. Quickly Puck grabbed a notebook and a pen out of his bag and handed it to her. A bit clumsy she wrote something down and handed the notebook back to Puck. Questioning she looked at him as he read what she had written. He swallowed as he read what she had written.
"Quinn?"
Writer's Note: Thank you all for reading! I really appreciate how loyal you all are and you're reviews are really lovely! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, please let me know what you think.
