Last Experiment Standing Episode 28: May the Better Trog Win
written by dinoboygreen
Last time on Last Experiment Standing:
A homage to Red vs. Blue had our final contenders making for their Warthogs. Or pumas, it wasnt made clear. Slushy turned his back on his teammates only to redeem himself in the last hours. This led to both him and Richter taking a ride on the Boat of Loserdome. And now that our final three are assembled, what can we throw at him now? Find out this instant on Last! Experiment! Standing!
We open to our snoozing contestants as a loudspeaker blares.
Attention, finalists! Welcome to the semifinals! In honor of Wawanakwas seeing over of the final three constantly, we offer an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast! Chris announced.
At the mess hall, pancakes were served, but one ate plenty more than the others
Keep em coming you yank! Ive got a hunger the size of England! Thresher demanded.
Yeesh. And I thought Courtney was a brat. Chef muttered.
I heard that you wanker!
[Is it just me, or is Thresher acting more British than normal? Melty asked.]
Well folks, this is it. The semi-final battle; the one that our fans have been waiting weeks for. The producers ran out of ways of torturing you so we decided to throw all the challenges at once! Chris said.
yelled the finalists.
[Its official, they ran out of ideas. Angel said.]
The contestants met at a long race track that looked like a rejected Wipeout course.
Okay, so heres the rough. Youll start at the starting point here and dash your way through the dodgeball shooters that will bombard you at every opportunity. Next, youll take the stage in a Epic Experiment Rap Battle of History as you pair off individually. Next its a madcap race through part of our Labyrinth where youll take on the eleven plagues and our Minotaur. Should you survive, youll face the Gasher Gauntlet again, only this time, actual size! And finally, theres my personal favorite: you must carry the ruby you obtained the Tales from the Deep and make your launch out of the Angry Birds slingshot along with a shroud full of dynamite and throw it at the remnants of Bony Island! Chris said.
[I havent seen anything this crazy since Izzy! Whats next? We have to sink Bony Island with swordfish torpedoes? asked Melty angrily. Great idea, but lets save that for another season! Chris yelled from outside the confessional.]
Good luck to all three of you, and may the best trog win! Chris yelled, shooting a pop-gun.
The challenge erupted almost as soon as Chris started it off. The dodgeball shooters shot at our finalists from all sides, causing massive bruising.
[Bloody yanks Shows nothing more than a load of Thresher muttered.]
After the bombardment, Angel, Melty and Thresher took to the stage in the rap battle.
So this is the finals, time to say goodbye. My skills in my rhyming will make the challenge fly by. Youre little alliance is now up in smoke, and your with that purple weirdo of a bloke. Ive planned it tile the end, you make it up as you go along. You may think you have me cornered but you couldnt be more wrong. Angel rapped.
re a planner are you? What about Slugger and Clyde? Youre nothing but a klutz without Stitch by your side. You talk of big game, but your skills sure are lacking. A few extra rhymes and Ill send you packing. Youre no more than a b**ch at the end of the day. And Im gonna make sure you dont get your way. Melty replied.
So you both think youre hot s*it, huh? Okay, check this out. Hey whatcha say, Ang? Okay, the rap is a cliché. Forget game shows, you shoulda took up ballet. A rapping duel? Dont act a fool or Ill just tell ya Bi*ch, leave. The only consolation here is you are not Nosy. So spit some dam* rhymes, punks! Now its time to throw down! Im glad its one on one, because both of you are clowns. Cant wait to make you faces turned to sheer disgrace when I rap both your as*ses right outta this place! Thresher rhymed.
[Well, theres one side of Thresher I never thought Id see. He seemed so calm before. Wonder what got into him Angel wondered.]
In the labyrinth, the final three fought their hardest, but both Angel and Melty sensed something wrong with Thresher.
And it didnt help when they made it to the Gasher Gauntlet. It was understandable on Angels part, but he kept pushing Melty into the scorpion armies as well. At the sling shot, the ruby was cumbersomely carried to the slingshot, the shroud in front and the contestants were unbelievably worn out at this point. They barely had the strength to make race back to the cabins.
At the finish line it came down to two of the three making over together.
The winners: Angel and Melty! Chris announced.
Melty and Angel surprisingly hug-tackled each other and pulled away just as quickly.
That never happened. Melty said.
What never happened?
At the campfire ceremony:
Campers, there are only two marshmallows left. Whoever gets them will be in the final battle. And since Angel and Melty won, they will be competing in the finals together!
WHAT?! YOU BLOODY WANKERS! How could you get ME eliminated?! I put you yanks where you are today! Thresher screamed.
Yeah, but you acted like a d*ck during the challenge. What happened to you? Melty said.
Huh? What are you talking about? Oi, wait a minute. Where am I?
You mean to tell me that-? Oh, no. Angel dreaded.
What? Did I do something wrong?
No, but I think its time..
Time for what? asked Melty.
Well, when the LATDAEISF formed and found me, they said something about their grand plan unfolding in the final round. She explained.
Well, it looks like the challenge is already placed out for us. Chris said.
Just then, a dart was shot out of the bushed and onto a nearby torch. A letter on it read, Dear, scum of the Earth, the final battle will end your show. If you have the guts to take it on, meet us in the junkyard arena at 9:00 tomorrow. Sincerely, LATDAEISF
As Thresher made his way to the boat, Chris said, Well, it seems we have a new challenge for both eliminated and our final two, take on these four villains. Who will survive? Who will win the prize? Who will defeat the LATDAEISF (whatever it is)? Find out on our final episode of Last! Experiment! Standing!
Meanwhile in the nearby woods, Courtney watched from the treetops. Oh, Ill give you drama, all right.
