Author's note: Thank you again and again for all your reviews. I love reading them. Okay, here is the big breaking news: I found a beta. You're saved! ^^ Thanks Sarcastic Melody!!

Okay, here is the new chapter. Hope you'll like it. There is not action, but something quite important, I think. Thanks for reading and give me your feedbacks (if you're willing, of course). I don't own Harry Potter.


I woke up the next morning and the following mornings with that same posture: me wrapping her still body in my arms. To not shock madam Pomfrey's decency, I used to get up in the early morning and sit on the chair, or walk around the room, staring at Hermione.

The late morning, I was joined by Harry, his red-head of a friend, Scott and sometimes McCoy or even my parents. They had been particularly surprised and sad when they had heard about Hermione. Thus, every day when my mother visited me she used to bring with her a new bunch of fresh flowers from our garden. Sometimes they were tulips, white lilies, jonquils or violets. Actually, those flowers were the only colour in that pale room. Soon, I had got used to see them on the table next to Hermione's bed, they symbolized life and reminded me to not lose hope. I guess my mother -being a mother- had noticed that the bunch of flowers she brings were keeping me frown drowning into depression and despair, that's why she always made sure to come with new ones every day, alternating as far as she can the species.

After putting them into a vase of fresh water, she used to take care of Hermione: brushing her hair and making her a short wash. She then stayed a couple of hours, talking with her about everything: school, weather, and some anecdotes that happened in the ministry or in the house.

At the beginning, I had frowned at it. How could she be sure that Hermione was listening to her? But then, it had become a sweet habit that, like the flowers, was comforting me that she was still alive with us.

My mother and even my both parents had been quite tactful about my relationship with Hermione, and I felt very grateful to them. Of course, they had never been the kind of parents who questioned their son to learn the most as possible about his love life. But even if they had been pretty quiet about my relationship with Cho, my father couldn't help asking sometimes how was it going with the girl, or when I would be planning to introduce her to them. But now, they were definitely quiet, too quiet! That was shady. I mean, they just came in the Hospital Wing finding me always holding Hermione's hand, but none of them have had the curiosity to ask why! It was something they had got used to, obviously. They didn't even try to make me go out of the infirmary to take the air: they already knew what my answer would be if they asked. They didn't even try to give me some lecture about my inactivty. It was like my behaviour was crystal clear to them. Their silence was so eloquent and I felt like it was yelling at me what they had understood. They knew that Hermione and I were not friends, they knew we both cared for each other more than our own life. They knew I have strong feelings for her.

Even if my behavior had been quite loquacious, I don't know, I felt like they already knew it. When Dumbledore had talked to them that morning in the office, when they had heard the name of Hermione, it was like they knew the bond between us. And I had this feeling with Dumbledore too and the other professors, and even madam Pomfrey. It's like they all knew beforehand. And I have to admit it was quite frustrating. Neither of us were the kind of people who like to expose their relationship to everyone who would like to watch it!

Anyway, even if I felt eager to know how they know, I chose to keep as quiet as they were. I wasn't hurried to discuss this subject with them.

When my mother was gone, Harry and Scott in classes, I remained alone with Hermione.

I was quietly holding her hand, and sometimes, when the idea had, at last, crossed my mind, I began to read some books to her. It was to me the ideal solution: 1:/ It helped to not focus on the heavy silence when my mother was gone, because silence made me get depressed and musing about all the possibilities (especially the worse one); 2:/ I couldn't find any word to tell her, I wasn't like my mother gabbing about any useless thing that popped up into my mind, reading was the only way to speak coherently.

Thus, I spent hours reading books about magic, Hogwarts and all the things Hermione loves to learn about.

Scott always brought me food after meals. And one morning, he made me the surprise to come with all the Quidditch team. Probably the happiest moment I had had since my coming back, they had all cheered me calling me 'their captain'. I felt the best moments of my previous life resurface. It was like nothing had changed. Like there had never been any tragic third task. Like we had gone back in time! They were all hurried to see me back with them in classes and in the field. I glanced at Scott, he didn't look pretty upset to cede his captain badge to me!. "I was the substitute, you're our only Quidditch captain" he exclaimed patting my shoulder while the rest of the team was ecstatic. In that euphoric moment, I couldn't help looking at Hermione. I wanted her to share it with me: I wanted her next to me during the bad and good times. Without her, this moment was losing a part of its excitement.

Nearly a week after my coming back, Scott came and proposed me to go out for a walk. I bit my lower lip and glanced at the bed: Harry was seated with Weasley talking to Hermione about some school stuff.

"I don't know if it's the proper time..." I trailed off.

"It's been a week, now. Go outside, meet people, breathe fresh hair, and stretch your legs. Come on, it'll do you good" Scott said.

I felt myself being overwhelmed by some guilt to leave Hermione here. Harry probably noticed my changing face because he gave me a smile.

"Go. We'll stay with her. Logan is right, you need some fresh hair " he said.

I scratched my neck and thought that facing the rest of the world wouldn't be a bad idea. The students knew about me, they won't be -completely- surprised if they see me taking a walk in the castle.

"Okay, fine. I'll come with you " I murmured, still unsure of the idea.

Scott grinned at me and rushed towards Hermione's bed. He kissed her head.

"Don't worry, I'll bring him back to you soon and in one piece " he said to her.

I glanced at Harry and began to think like some mother, ready to give him all the instructions.

"Take good care of her" I summed it up "and call me if she...". I got quiet, I always wanted to think that Hermione was soon going to wake up, like it was just a matter of time. Even if there was a slight chance that she wakes up during that precise moment, Harry politely nodded and smiled though, understanding my hesitance.

"Have fun" he said.

Scott grabbed my forearm and dragged me out of the infirmary.

"Yes, have fun!" Weasley repeated with a half-grumbling voice. Even if he had stayed quiet since our little talking, I could easily recognize the reproach in his voice.

I left the infirmary and Scott frowned.

"What is wrong with that bloody Weak-ley?" he spat "He looks like he needs a couple of swipes".

I smiled but very quickly it turned into a sad look.

"He thinks that...and he's right...well...forget it" I murmured, unable to complete the sentence.

Scott looked at me, frowning. No need to be in a bright spark to understand Weasley's innuendo. He scowled and seeing my face, he decided to remain quiet about it.

We silently walked, and some weird tension had appeared between us two.

"His back kissed the wall, though" I said smirking.

Scott grinned at me and, like I expected, the tension disappeared.

We were close to reach the main corridor when we met the Headmaster. He had a little smile and gave me a confident winking. We walked past more and more students, some were too involved in their chat and didn't notice me, while others got quiet and stared at me with a mix of surprise and confusion.

We both got in the Great Hall, it wasn't full but had enough students to be sure that the gossip will spread around fast. The team waved us to come. For the first time in a while, I made my way towards the Hufflepuff table and sat on the bench.

"Hurrah!" some Hufflepuffs erupted.

They grinned at me and the others who came in the Hall joyfully patted my shoulder when they were walking past me. That was definitely something I love from my House: always friendly and acting like nothing had happened. They were just natural and doing what I secretly expected them to.

The Gryffindors, Ravenclaws and Slytherins were staring at us -at me, staying quiet. The Weasley girl was smiling at me; chatting with that girl I could recognize everywhere now. The same one I had witnessed her changing her clothes. I flushed a little when she glanced at me with a flirt gleam in the eyes.

"You know her?" Scott asked.

I looked away. "I kind of caught a glimpse at her in the Gryffindor 'tower'" I answered being evasive.

Scott widened his eyes in surprise.

"Wait, you mean you could get into any part of the castle?" he erupted. He then paused and gave me a smirk which turned into an ecstatic face "Did you get into girls' bathroom?".

I rolled my eyes.

"All boys aren't wicked like you are" I said.

Scott rolled his eyes too.

"You're wrong, Ced. Allthe boys are wicked like I am except you" he responded. He then shook his head. "Merlin, I can't believe you didn't take advantage of the best part of being a ghost "he grizzled.

I smiled then thought of the blunder that had happened several weeks ago, probably the best blunder I had ever done. The only time I could call myself a pervert, even if I hadn't seen anything (or almost) of Hermione's body, I agree to be called by her her pervert for the rest of my life!

We kept talking in the Great Hall half-hour, then Scott and I both got outside to take a walk in the park. The air was fresh and good. We went by the Black Lake and met some giggling girls.

"Well, it looks like nothing has changed. You still remain the Golden Boy even when you come back from dead" Scott sighed with a feigned grouchiness

I smiled a little staring at the landscape. Scott observed me a few seconds.

"She has changed you" he chuckled.

I frowned, torn out of my thoughts.

"What? Who?" I asked.

"You're asking me who?" he said "I'm talking about the one you only have eyes for. Of course, you have never been a womanizer, but you liked knowing you could catch the interest of girls, and now, you just don't care".

I raised an eyebrow and considered his words: yes, he was right. Definitely.

"It's a peculiar feeling. You should try it someday" I teased him.

"Did you break up with her?" Scott asked after a pause.

I looked at him with a frown.

"Why would I do that?" I exclaimed "It's ridiculous".

Scott let out a sigh.

"I mean Cho" he mumbled.

I scratched my neck and thought of something I didn't have the opportunity to muse on lately. I scowled.

"I considered that dying was implying some permanent breaking up"

Scott frowned and nodded, thinking about the whole situation.

"She's a great girl" he said.

I bit my lower lip when I finally realised the bad side of going out with someone without properly breaking up with the other.

"Yes, she is. She didn't deserve this" I murmured.

Scott frowned. "No, I was talking about Hermione" he exclaimed. I rolled my eyes. "I liked getting to know her better. She's different from the other girls"

"She's unique" my mouth blurted before I could react "But I still didn't properly tell her what I feel".

Of course, I had feelings for her, but I had never used the three words she had used for me that day in the corridor. It may be male cowardice or teenage fright but I considered those words so full of meaning that I did want to voice them at the proper time. I just wish I could say them to her someday.

Scott smiled at my words then paused.

"When have you planned to tell her?" he asked like reading my mind.

I rubbed my forehead. "I don't know. Waiting for her to wake up sounds like a good thing" I replied.

Scott frowned, like surprised by my answer, then sighed.

"No, I mean Cho. When will you talk to her?" he asked.

"Could you please try to hold the conversation well?" I exclaimed rolling my eyes.

Scott gave me a look that clearly said 'Deal with it. I'm not going to apologize'.

" I don't know, yet " I answered.

Scott nodded: he glanced at castle and looked back at me.

"I guess you want to meet her up now, don't you?" he asked.

I gulped, feeling frightened by the idea of having this talking, now.

"Not really. She's still probably shocked to know that I'm alive".

Scott scowled. "No, I mean Hermione. You probably want to go find her, right?" he said.

I rolled my eyes and slapped his shoulder. He let out an amused groan.

" Moron " I spat " You think I didn't understand you were mocking me? ".

Scott burst out laughing. "Your love life is so complicated. I couldn't resist" he defended.

I shrugged and ran across the park to get back to the infirmary.


Another week went by and soon pretty most of the students got used to see me in the castle (this means they stopped freaking out or jumping back when they caught a glimpse at me in the corridor). Every morning, after getting up from Hermione's bed, and when my parents were coming, I used to leave them and make a ramble around the castle.

Almost all my friends and classmates had visited me, yes all except Cho. She had been avoiding the Hospital Wing and any corridor where she might meet me for the last couple of weeks. I wasn't annoyed about it in a way: it helped me to put off our talking, and prepare myself to find the good words to tell her.

Madam Pomfrey less and less checked on Hermione, and every time she did she let out a little sigh and even whispered something like 'poor girl'. Dumbledore or McGonagall daily visited the infirmary to take some news but they were having the face of people who would listen something they already know. They always gave me a little confident smile which, to me, felt like being stabbed. It reminded me that they were more and more losing hope, and that their repetitive and flat sign of encouragement was some way of hiding it from me.

The headmaster soon gave us to understand that he would have to get hold of Hermione's parents who were still oblivious of the entire situation and their daughter's state.

To me, all these little details were terrible to witness, they made me doubt about the possibility to have her back next to me. Were we doomed to never share the same world together? Can't we ever just have our happy ending? She had fought to get me back, but my resurrection isn't worth her loss. I was the dead one, this was my fate and my destiny, and I had dared to change it. Hermione was alive, her potential death was a failure in the way her life was supposed to be. I was the mistake, and I couldn't bear the idea that I had changed her future into such a dramatic fate. If this was so, I wasn't worth more than the murderer who had killed me in the graveyard. I was her murderer. All these thoughts were little by little plunging me into some depressed state.

I was irritated and moody and the only moments I really tried to be optimistic was when I was reading at Hermione's bedside.

It was the evening and the infirmary was silent while madam Pomfrey and the rest of the school were having dinner in the Great Hall. I was seated on the chair next to Hermione's bed reading one of her favorite books Hogwarts, A History.

I was interrupted by the sound of someone shyly clearing one's throat. Keeping the book open, I cooly turned my head with a little smile (no need to look rude or frighten people who were already a bit scared of me).

It quickly turned to a surprised look when I saw Cho, standing in the middle of the room. She looked anxious. Nervously twisting her fingers, she tried to compose a shy smile. Her long black and straight hair was covering her shoulders. Her plump cheeks had a slight blush that made her look innocent and yeah, maybe, prettier. She hadn't changed at all since the last time we talked together, the morning before the third task. She just looked quite more mature, and better than the day I saw her in the corridor with Hermione. We stared at each other a long minute, quiet.

"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner" her soft voice murmured.

I nodded and closed the book to put it on the table.

"It's fine" I answered with a whispering voice.

She stepped up trying her hardest to not make ring out the sound of her footsteps.

"I thought you would have come to me" she confessed with a shy voice "to...talk".

Okay, she was getting straight at the point.

"I was busy, here" I said, looking at Hermione's sleeping body.

Cho jumped, scared that she had offended me in whatever way. She was just like the girl I always knew: steady and meticulous, scared of irking people around her. She was so different from Hermione who never fears the consequences of her words or actions: she freely talks then considers what she has just said. She was more impulsive and real.

"I'm sorry" Cho quickly mumbled "She brought you back, it's logical you feel grateful to her".

All the muscles of my body tensed up, her innuendo was so not the truth. I had frayed nerves and couldn't suffer wrong words any longer. I was so freaked out at the idea of losing Hermione, like a poison that was slowly and viciously eating me from the inside. I could almost taste its sour taste on my tongue. I was sick of all the people who were implying that I should have soon to give up, to accept the obviousness. Of course, Cho hadn't said something like that but I felt like she insisted on the fact that Hermione was just the witch who had brought me back to life, and that if I had to lose her, it wouldn't be that bad. She was so wrong, Hermione was much more than that, she was my rescuer, my friend, my mate and my everything.

"Grateful?" I repeated, outraged. "I love her!" my mouth finally hissed the three words.

Cho widened her eyes and nervously bit her lip obviously embarassed, surprised and vexed.

I sighed, frustrated by my behaviour, feeling upset but also guilty and ashamed of my reaction. I covered my face with my two hands and bowed on my chair.

I heard Cho walked up towards me. She kept stood and till a few seconds then hesitantly but gently put her hand on my shoulder. I didn't move.

"I...I didn't know" she apologized. Her voice shattered a bit, apparently confused and emu, even if I couldn't be sure of what. "If..." she trailed off "if you need to talk to someone, to confide in. I'll be there". She couldn't hide the bitterness in her tone. Obviously, she was disappointed: she hadn't thought our reunion would turn like this. I also knew she was simply trying to be polite, she would probably not want to hear her ex-boyfriend talking about his feelings for another girl. I wouldn't want it, neither does she.

I finally released my face and quickly glanced at Cho who was still standing behind me, then I stared back at Hermione.

"I think our paths divided and it would be better if we both follow the new way they took. Separately" I murmured with a calm tone, never breaking my look on Hermione's face. "I wish you the best whatever the boy you will or did choose" I added, making my own innuendo of Harry.

I heard her keep a little gasp. She sighed and prepared her words to apologize about her growing relationship with Potter. I didn't need her to justify, it just didn't matter. I wasn't her boyfriend anymore, and I hadn't kept the feelings I would be supposed to have. I wasn't jealous or mad at her or Harry. It didn't reach me. Of course I had been in a relationship with Cho, I had cared for her, I had had feeelings for her. But they had all been crushed by my love for Hermione.

Cho was loudly breathing making her hardest to keep her sobs. I felt her palm, then slowly her fingertips leave my shoulder. She took a long breath and finally spoke.

"I wish she will wake up soon" she murmured with a trembling voice.

I nodded and appreciated her effort to hide her disappointment and accept my decision.

She glanced at the bed and I heard her leave the infirmary more quickly than she did to come in.

I got up from my chair and leaned over Hermione. I stroked her face and kissed her forehead.

"I love you Hermione. Come back and give me the opportunity to say it to you" I whispered.

My fingertips brushed her closed lids hoping I could see her big brown eyes again.