Managed to update... hope you like it!
Unaccepted
As I came closer to the Forks did my heart pound harder than ever before. What was I supposed to say? What should I do if Edward freaked out? Would he freak out?
When I saw the Forks welcome sign did I hold my breath. This was it. Tonight would be my dead.
I didn't want to reveal anything to Edward through my thoughts, so I started to solve an equation as I came closer to the drive way.
Sara can call to the USA from her cell phone. The cost of the call can be described this way: C=9.95+1.6x, where C is the cost and x is the amount of minutes. How long can Sara talk for $20?
"What is she doing?" I heard Edward say. I didn't think about it, I just kept solving the equation.
I kept the helmet on. One, so they could see that I wore a helmet. And second, to hide my hair for now.
I went up the stairs to the front door, took a deep breath, and opened the door.
The entire family was in the bottom floor. Jasper, Alice and Rosalie were on the couch. Emmett on the floor. My grandparents where by the piano and mom and Edward where by the stairs.
Edward sighed "I wont rip your head off"
Just to be careful, and to show you that I'm not irresponsible, I wear helmet.
He smiled slightly but turned serious. I'd have to deal with it sooner or later, so…
I took of the helmet and my hair fell. As soon as it was out did everyone gasp and an awkward silence invaded the room.
I looked at my grandparents surprised faces, my uncles confusion, like they didn't understand what was new with me. I saw my aunts big eyes, eying me to see how good or bad this look looked on me. And last but not least, my parents.
Mom looked cool, she was just happy to see that I was okay. Edward on the other hand looked, angry, confused, surprised, terrified and a lot of things more at the same time.
"What… you… how… when…Renesmee!" he started and then froze "Alice, say that out loud and I'll never let you talk to her again!" he hissed towards poor Alice who glared at him. She'd probably thought something good, like that the hairstyle suit me or something. Edward just looked at me.
"I can…" I started before he cut me off.
"How could you? What have you done with your hair? And your clothes? Where have you been? Do you know how worried we've been?…" He kept yelling all this stuff to me but I kept quiet. I looked around the room, Jake wasn't there anymore.
I cut him off "I'll answer everything if you keep quiet and let me explain all of it" I looked at him. He nodded.
"Well, I'm gonna tell you the truth. I'm bored. I have nothing to do, I don't have friends and it's killing me. I want to go to school and meet people, but while thinking it thru, did I realize it wasn't as simple as I thought." I started to explain them everything of the alias, the haircut and everything else. Which wasn't the best thing to do.
Edward's face turned hard and his hands turned into fists. Oh boy…
"What the hell where you thinking? Go to Seattle and get a fake ID all alone?"
"I wanted to prove you that I can take care of myself"
"But honey" mom interfered "that isn't something you should be doing. When we move we'll take care of all that"
"But, I already had one, the one you gave me" she looked at me. "I kept that alias, Vanessa Wolf. I just changed some dates, nothing more"
"Anyway, that doesn't give you the right to do as you please! As long as you live under my roof will you obey my rules"
"Well, this is actually Grandpa's house…"
"Don't talk back at me!"
"I'll stop talking back when you stop being so freaking overprotecting!"
I lost it, I couldn't take more.
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me"
"Renesmee Carlie!"
"I know my name!"
He stepped closer to me. Mom grabbed his arm but he shook it of.
"Don't you ever talk back to me like that again, did you hear me?" he yelled, pointing at me and taking one step closer to me for every word. I just looked at him, not flinching at his threat.
He sighed loudly "How I wish…" he shook his head and turned around.
He wished. And I knew exactly what he was wishing for.
"How you wish I didn't exist?" my statement made him turn around
"or, how you wish I'd stay the same? I don't think you're the only one wishing that" I said looking around at the surprised faces of my family. "I think you all wish I'd never grown up. Admit it. Admit that you all wish I was like a normal child" my voice was getting louder " how you wish I was seven. I'm sorry if I'm not the kid you where expecting" I eyed everyone "I'm sorry if I'm not the perfect little girl you wish I was." I turned to look at my grandparents "Grandpa, I'm sorry if I'm not the little girl who asked you why we have night and day. Grandma, I'm sorry if I never asked you to sing a song to me"
My grandparents looked at me with sorrow, grandma would've cried.
"Aunt Alice, I'm sorry if I'm not the little girl who asked you to play dress up with her. Rose" my voice broke "I'm sorry if I never asked you 'auntie Rose, can you teach me how to put make up on? I want to be exactly like you'"
I looked my uncles in the eyes "Sorry if I never wrestled with you, Em. Or if I never said 'uncle Jazz, let's get Emmett on his nerves'"
They both looked at me with sad faces I'd never seen them with.
"Mom" I said with tears fighting their way out "I'm sorry if I never asked you to tuck e in enough times, or asked you to play with me." her face was filled with pain "I'm sorry if I never asked you to tell me a fairytale, or never asked you to teach me how to play the piano" I said looking at Edward who had clossed his eyes and was sobbing lightly.
"I'm sorry if I never told all of you how much I love you enough times. But this is who I am. I wish I could be the little girl you all want, I'm sorry I cant give you that"
"Renesmee…" mom said with a broken voice "you're more than I could ever ask for" she said touching my cheek "more than I deserve"
"Then why don't you let me make you proud?"
Edward opened his eyes and looked at me "Because, you're only…"
"If you say 'seven' or 'too young' I swear I'm out of here" I said, tears rolling down my cheeks.
"And where were you planning to leave? To Jacob?" he said coldly.
Why not?
"Because I don't want you to be around him yet!"
"who said ?" I laughed without amusement "The old man who practically married his lunch!" I said looking at him straight in the eyes. "You're the least appropriate to tell me that"
"I am your father!" he screamed.
"Then start acting like that and not like a damn overprotecting jail guard! Understand me, that's all I ask for!" I screamed back.
The only thing that sounded was my heartbeat. The thing that distinguished me from the rest.
I looked around "Sorry I don't fit in this perfect little world of yours" I spit the words out and turned around and slammed the door behind me. I heard how the windows shook.
In less then a second was I on Jakes motorbike. The tears were streaming down but I could still see.
I drove the whole way to the reservation and knocked fiercely on the Black's door.
"Renesmee?" Rachael said surprised "Sweat heart, what's wrong?" she said taking my hand.
"Is…Ja-ake here?" I said in my sobs.
He'd heard me and was on his way out of his room "Nessie, what happened?" he asked.
I didn't reply I just ran into his open arms and cried. My entire body was shaking, the tears wetting his bare chest, my fingers leaving marks on his arms. I was being ripped apart from the inside out. For now I could only cry.
I know this wasnt very good but i still want to know what you think!
