Thank you to everyone who voted. Here's the next chapter!
"Welcome back everyone, to the hottest show on the air! I'm your devilishly handsome host Master Hand, and this is The Sole Smasher!" Master Hand roared, with the fans in the stands cheering.
"Alright, let's check in with the Smashers." Master Hand turned on a screen to show everyone sleeping.
"Jack, wake em up, will ya?" Master Hand asked the sassy donkey.
"Sure thing. Just let me freshen up my voice." Jack then began a long process worth of vocal excercises, including rehearsing chorus songs in perfect pitch. Afterwards, he squealed so loud, someone far away could hear it if they put their mind to it. The smashers groggily arrived.
"Dude, don't you know the meaning of sleep?" Link asked.
"Not at all! I don't sleep!" Master Hand cleared his throat. "Now then, we received lots of votes. But since counting these days are boring, I'll tell you that Link and Pichu got away scott free with zero votes, but Luigi and Popo both had the most votes."
"Why do I have the feeling I'm going home, even though Popo won't be saying anything for a while." Luigi pondered, looking at Popo who had duct tape on his mouth.
"Because you're gone, that's why!"
"Yay! Bland people to the end!" Pichu cheered.
"Hey, don't be calling us bland. The author gives no character development to anybody but them evils, so he can suck it yo!" Kirby answered, wearing a bling and a backwards hat.
"Woah, that is so cool. You're not bland anymore!"
"Put a little effort and you get the coolest guy you've ever known sons."
"Anyway-."
"You know what Master Hand, I've had enough of you!" Luigi screamed. "And because of that, I'll uh, hang on. Ummmmmmm, I'll take one of your brooms from the broom closet." Luigi shrugged, walking over to the broom closer and opening it.
But yet there was someone in that closet!
"Crazy Hand?"
The hand looked weak, and seemed to be in a lot of pain. Blood covered it's hand, and it moaned. "No, it's me. Master Hand."
"Thank you." Master Hand smiled, having received his coffee. The five remaining smashers plus Luigi were standing around the hospital bed where he laid.
"Well, care to tell us what this is?" Pikachu asked.
"Sure." Master Hand took a sip of his coffee, and then took a deep breath. "You see, it was during the fear factor challenge when the merge had just begun..."
Flashback
"What are you scared of?"
"The dark."
Master Hand turned off the lights. He was then hit in the head with a blunt object as someone was heard laughing to themselves.
"Who's there?" Peach asked. The blunt object came into contact again, as the sound of her collapsing was heard. Someone was then heard leaving.
End Flashback
"So, he beat me up and threw me into the broom closet. He's been tricking you this whole time!" Master Hand concluded.
"Wait, I found Ghirahim laying on the ground with a blunt object having hit his head at the same time. What does that mean?" Link asked
"Crazy Hand did that because he's crazy. How the hell have you not noticed this!?"
"He's really been acting smarter. But now that you mention it...
Flashback
"What are you eating Master Hand?" Yoshi asked the hand.
"A blood and cheese sandwich." He answered.
"A blood and cheese sandwich!? That sounds disgusting!" Mewtwo revolted.
"It's actually pretty good."
"Really? Can I try some?" Yoshi asked, reaching for the sandwich.
"Mine!" Crazy Hand flew off as fast as possible, pushing everyone aside as he left.
Another Flashback
"Hey Master Hand, what's with the twitching?" Jigglypuff asked as she walked by.
"It's nothing, just ignore it." Crazy Hand muttered, twitching again.
"I had just beat him in chess. Either that, or I ate his king." Pichu giggled. Jigglypuff groaned.
"And just earlier today..."
"Dude, don't you know the meaning of sleep?" Link asked.
"Not at all! I don't sleep!"
End Flashbacks
"So, what has Crazy Hand done with the show in my absence?" Master Hand asked.
"He brought Mario and Jigglypuff back in." Pikachu answered.
"Meh, Jigglypuff wasn't so bad."
"He made an episode where three people got whacked." Kirby spoke up.
"Three people in one episode? What about the ratings we might've missed by doing that?"
"He responded to the memorium of 9/11 by giving us guns and forced us to kill each other." Link continued.
"What!? Does he have no respect for the fallen or something? I wouldn't have even done a challenge sponsoring it!"
"He had nothing to do with it, but I became evil. And since Popo never played Xenoblades, he won't be speaking." Luigi resumed.
"Well, those are interesting turn of events." Master Hand chuckled.
"He made a jury system!" Pichu cheered.
"WHAT!? That crosses the line! Anyone who gets eliminated becomes personal slaves, not choice makers! Where is Crazy Hand!"
"He left a while ago. I've been trying to tell you, but you keep speaking too loud. Crazy Hand got away and took the cash prize with him." Ghirahim answered, surprising everyone that he was actually there.
"You can't be serious." Master Hand groaned. "Smashers, rerun challenge from last season: Find and stop Crazy Hand! Go!" Master Hand roared. The smashers ran off, and Ghirahim walked after them. Master Hand and Luigi remained in the room.
"He's flying on that plane." Luigi pointed out the window, clearly seeing Crazy Hand flying away.
"Well I'll be damned."
"So, what do I do?"
"Well, I can't really decline the jury now that it's only needing two more people. You said you became evil, right?"
"Yeah."
"Which means you actually grew stronger, right?"
"Yeah?"
"While you're here, give me a massage."
"Great." Luigi muttered.
Meanwhile, the smashers were out learning how to stop a rogue hand. Clearly, that meant going to the library, right?
"Maybe this book?" Link questioned.
"No way! That author was uncool and smelled like that guy outback." Kirby rapped.
"What?" Popo mumbled through the duct tape.
"Shush!" Everyone in the library shouted. Popo sunk to the ground. While this was going on, Pichu was being his normal self.
"I'll place this giant slab of glass pointing upwards right here. When somebody steps on it, then we can laugh." He giggled.
"That sounds very dangerous."
"Come on Pikachu, it'll be fun." He whined.
"What about the money? That's more fun in my eyes."
"Pfft. Lame! Why not enjoy it instead of working for it?"
Before Pikachu could answer that, he was grabbed by an attendant and thrown outside. "My apologizes, but you're friend can't seem to understand that hats aren 't aloud in the building."
"Hey, that ain't cool lady!" Kirby yelled at her before flipping her off and walking away.
"What do we do now?"
"Navi seems to know." Link answered, releasing a blue fairy from his hand and watched it fly into the sky. "Well crap."
"Leave it to me." Kirby pulled out a phone with a star shaped antennae and dialed a number. Within moments, a warp star was there.
"Let's move out boys!" Kirby yelled, grabbing onto the warp star with the others following suite. Each smasher was on a separate corner as they shot off at light speed, completely passing Navi.
"This is a little fast!" Link yelled over the blowing of the wind.
"I know!" Kirby yelled back. Almost immediately, the star crashed right into an unfamiliar area for the group.
"What is this strange land?" Pichu questioned.
"Shut up, fool! Only I can speak differently." Kirby rudely answered, slapping Pichu.
"That hurt." Pichu began sobbing. Really loudly. Just then, Navi arrvied at their exact location and flew up. Directly up.
"Don't worry! Ho-Oh will help us!" Pichu cheered. Ho-Oh never showed. Kirby shrugged and called another warp star.
Upon the star crashing, the smashers quickly began checking their surroundings, Navi returning to Link in the process.
"Hey, this is the Comet Observatory, isn't it?" Popo asked. Everyone glared at him.
"No speaking!" They all roared.
"Hey. In space, no one can hear you speak. So I have my right." Popo smugly grinned.
"The saying is that nobody can hear you scream in space..."
"Oh."
"Hey, I just realized we're in the Comet Observatory!" Pichu gasped in shock.
"Wow, what a strange coincidence that is." Kirby spoke interestingly.
"But where is Crazy Hand?"
"Maybe we should just look at this directory." The smashers took a look at a convinently placed directory right in front of them.
"We're over here. And Crazy Hand is on the top floor!"
"Why does it say that a garden is on the top floor?"
"I don't know. Logic?"
As we should know by now, there is no logic in Smash Brothers. So, life went on.
...
...
...
"What?"
"Don't mind them fools. Keep movin."
Since the warp pads were turned off, the smashers were reduced to climbing. And wow, is it even possible?
"No!" Link shouted at the author as he fell right onto a couch.
"Hey, this is actually comfortable."
"Goodbye."
Before Link could do anything, he was thrusted off the Observatory right to death. Which just meant a simple explosion.
Meanwhile, the other four...actually got up?
We made it!" Pichu cheered.
"You mean you just rode on my back." Popo grumbled. He was slapped.
The four dramatically walked through the door of the dome, to reveal...
"What the?" Pikachu questioned. Inside the dome was a luchious and blooming garden. Birds could be heard actually chirping, and there was actually a blue sky above them with clouds. Rocks surrounded them in a circle formation with a cliff right past it. Beyond that were many hills. Kirby turned around and was stunned to see that the way they came was now a trail that lead to a foggy horizon.
"Now I know I didn't walk that far!" Kirby sassed.
"You didn't. It's an illusion." Crazy Hand smiled, appearing from behind a rock. He then realized his mistake. "Damn it. No wonder I always lose hide and seek."
"Give back the money!" Pikachu cried out.
"You'll have to catch me!" Crazy Hand laughed, flying into the distance. The others shrugged, jumped down the cliff, and chased him.
It was a long and hard run through the grassy plains and hills. But it turned out that wasn't the only thing they had to worry about. Crazy Hand was so crazy, he actually went out of his way to place land mines into the ground.
"Wait, this is space. Couldn't we just fly after him?" Popo asked.
"Shut your trap Popo! Hey wait, there ain't no gravity! Maybe we could fly after him!"
"Genius!" Pichu and Pikachu cheered at the same time. Popo sighed.
So, using the powers of no gravity, the chase took to the air. But Crazy Hand still had more in store for the group.
"Is that Tear Gas?" Pikachu asked.
"Yep."
"Crap."
Everyone closed their eyes and went through, yet they could still feel the stinging. When they got through, they could hardly see, their sight practically vanished.
"Maybe rain will help!" Pichu cried, shooting electricity into the air. In began to rain, and their eyesight was restored. The chase was on.
"This chase is over!" Crazy Hand screamed, pulling out a shotgun. Now, go back home and leave me alone! And then put cookie outfits on and force people to eat you!" He demanded. The smashers grew silent with confusion.
Suddenly, the hero of time came from out of nowhere and stabbed Crazy Hand.
"Have you learned your lesson?" A fully restored Master Hand asked his hurt brother.
"Yes. I'm sorry." Crazy Hand apologized.
"Good. Now we must train. We must be the best Master Core we can possibly before tomorrow." The two started to leave.
"You're still live." The cameraman said to Master Hand.
"Oh, we are? Well then, everything seemed to work out now. After looking over the footage, it appears that Link was the only one who hit my brother. So, by the law of confusion, Link wins immunity."
"But what happened to the money?" Link asked.
"Crazy Hand?"
"I never took the money! I just felt so ashamed that I ran away, but I didn't steal anything. Honest!"
"Well then where else would it be?"
"I don't know!" Crazy Hand shouted, afraid of what his brother might do to him.
"Hey uh, do you guys know where Ghirahim is? I asked him to feed me hours ago and I haven 't seen him since. His office is empty though, so I just wanted to let you know that if he doesn't show, you have to feed me." Jack spoke before heading into the producers office.
It took a small bit of time for the message to sink in.
...
...
...
...
...
"GHIRAHIM!" Link screamed, with everyone else facepalming.
"Eh, good thing he took the counterfeit money." Master Hand chuckled.
"What?"
"Oh you see, my plan was never to give the winner real money. But I guess without the counterfeit, I must either attempt to steal Dr. Mario's drug money, or give you some of my savings. Which choice would I approve of?"
"Finish the show." The cameraman whispered.
"Oh yeah! Well viewers, Link is immune. Vote to eliminate one of the four...
Popo
Pichu
Pikachu
or Kirby.
I'll finally be hosting again, but our next episode will be on hiatus for a bit. Everyone but Pichu, grab your stuff! It's time to head to smash mansion!"
"What do I do?" Pichu asked.
"Since you aren't a returning smasher, you and Jack can be a stand-up comedy group or something. Goodnight everyone!" The camera cut off there.
I think it's pretty clear why there will be no new chapter for some time. Smash bros 3ds is releasing in America practically in one day at the time of this chapter being posted. I wanted a chapter out before it was released so that I wouldn't be distracted from playing the game.
So, make your choice on who you want to see in the final four, good luck to everyone on their smashing (hopefully not your 3ds), and take care.
