A/N: Hey, girls and (possibly) boys! I'm back. Long chapter is long.


Chapter 28: Quality Time With The In-Laws

Sleeping in a vintage car's backseat was never comfortable, especially if a six foot two man who weighed more than you'd think was in there with you.

Try it one day, and you will agree.

When JARVIS played heavy metal to wake them up at just after 6am, they both had so many stiff joints that it was quite the struggle to get out Tony out of the car.

"Never sleeping in there again." Tony groaned. "JARVIS, what is it?"

"Message from Director Fury: Avengers Assemble!" JARVIS relayed.

"Shit." Loki said from where he was lying. "Where is my blasted phone?"

"In your suit, I guess." Tony said, looking for something to wear under the Iron Man. His suit pants would do. Whatever.

Loki sat up already wearing the Lightningrod. "Hurry up, peasant. We have work to carry out."

"I'll peasant you." Tony muttered threateningly, walking to the suit assembler he had in his lab. As the suit was built around him courtesy of JARVIS, Loki walked up to him, staff in hand and smiling wickedly.

"I won our bet." Loki said smugly, remembering.

The faceplate clicked down as Tony said "Well done, Sparkles. You want a medal?"

"Poor wounded pride!" Loki said mockingly, grabbing Tony's gauntlet to teleport onto the roof. Just before they vanished, though, Tony gestured for him to remove his helmet.

Loki was confused until Tony mussed the taller man's hair with an evil grin and then rubbed the remains of concealer off Loki's hickey of three nights ago.

"Very mature." Loki said dryly. "Why don't you just piss on my leg if you are trying to mark territory?"

"Well, I just want Clint to know you're mine." Tony said without thinking.

Loki glared at him in shock and surprise and hissed a "What did you say?!"

Tony managed to splutter out that it was a slip of the tongue before Loki vanished them both to the roof.

He'd perfected the art of teleporting the Iron Man in the last few days, so they appeared rather smoothly, which only added smugness to Loki's current emotional state.

Amongst said state was also anger at both Tony and the world for trying to tame him - Tony daring to act properly possessive! - irritation at having not had a shower yet, and mild sexual frustration because reasons.

That cocktail of three emotions pretty much defined Loki on a bad day.

"What's going on?" Tony asked, breaking Loki from his thoughts.

Clint narrowed his eyes at Loki and Tony appearing together, doing the simple math of hickey + together + hair and deciding he didn't need to know. Fortunately Steve broke in and said "It's that Dr Doom again. Downtown. Get in the plane."

Tony had actually modified a whole two floors to be a hangar for one of those trippy little planes that could take off and land on the spot. It was always ready to fly, and was surprisingly good at hopping across town in record time. Tony had designed the original version, but he was determined to build a better one, hopefully with Loki's help.

Loki, however, had different ideas to taking the plane. "I have another plan, as always." He shoved Tony off the building, snatching onto the Iron Man to surfboard across town.

"Seriously, he's the craziest fucker I've ever met." Clint said respectfully.

-O.O-

The battle was violent and messy, everyone working in their pair to do as much damage as possible.

Loki, as always, had been right. The bots were stronger and more intelligent this time, making it a harder fight, and their greater numbers meant it was a long battle. The whole thing was more stamina than firepower, so everyone had been fighting a long time and was getting tired.

To stay entertained, hero Lightningrod was riffing with a bot that had peeled away from the group and stood itself on a rooftop specifically for that purpose.

"Is this your day job?" Loki said indignantly as he flew past. "Have you spent the time since your last assault just preparing for this?"

The Doombot didn't reply, so Loki shot it with his staff. It didn't do anything, of course, but the bot had to pay attention.

"Bitch! Listen!" Loki said, and Tony started cracking up laughing, which made Steve shush him over the comms.

"And who are you? Doom wishes to know." The bot said. Or was it the actual guy, Doom? Hell, it was hard to tell.

Loki rolled his eyes, beheading a couple of bots. "This is Ace Ventura, Pet Detective!" He declared sarcastically in his best American accent. "You are building up to a proper assault, correct? Do not jest that you do not know who I am."

"Well done. Doom is curious about you." The bot replied.

"Lightningrod gets sick of Doom talking about himself in the third person." Loki said, teleporting off Tony and onto the rooftop to stab the bot in the face. It teleported away just before the blade made contact. "Ah. It was the real one."

"Lightningrod, Iron Man, keep going." Steve chastised. "We're nearly done here."

-O.O-

Once all the bots were cleaned up, not really helped by Loki and Tony who were making terrible dick jokes about Doom, they all headed back to Avengers' Tower for a victory beer/scotch where they were joined by Thor and Darcy. Thor was leaving the next day, so he wanted to at least be within a hundred metres of his somewhat brother before crossing the Atlantic.

Darcy was determined to be contrary. The last three days between Loki and Darcy had been strained, to say the least, so Darcy wanted Loki to herself for an hour and had decided that Tony and Thor could bond. At some point in the last 24 hours she'd decided they'd one day be brothers-in-law and therefore must get to know each other better.

Loki cursed viciously at that, but conceded.

Therefore Tony and Thor found themselves at a cafe not far from the tower, ordering drinks while not making eye contact. Thor was not an awkward person, but Tony had scolded him last they spoke, so he didn't know how to start.

"So." Tony said, sipping his beloved coffee. "What do you do at Valiskyfl - Vlisjalf - Valaskjalf?" He managed to pronounce the name right on the third try. Well done Tony.

"Previously I was a project manager, but Loki decided to promote me to running the legal division. Apparently the creature he had previously hired was an incompetent." Thor said in his loud voice.

"He probably was. Or he just annoyed Loki." Tony smirked. "Loki's like that."

"My brother is a fickle man." Thor agreed. "Ever since childhood, so quick to dislike."

Oops. The conversation had become serious all of a sudden.

"I'd have to agree with you." Tony said. "I only met him a couple of years ago, but jesus fuck there is a lot of pent up anger. Being a superhero's good for him, I think, 'cause he can hurt the enemy instead of random people. But before that I guess his random angry breaks were worse." Tony said. He was right, or at least he was sure he was; Loki had been calmer recently. It'd only been around a week since he got back from Malekith's enthrallment, and previously he might have sulked for weeks or even months, but with various distractions - including Tony - he was already moving on.

"He was a cheerful child." Thor said mournfully. "Full of tricks and laughter. Always an experiment in motion. When he was but four years old, he convinced me to insert a knife into a wall socket for science."

Tony laughed at that; it was so wholly Loki that it was hilarious. "I see that sometimes. When it's just him and me and he doesn't have to behave." Thor smiled when he said that, so Tony asked "What happened?"

"School was ... not kind to him. He was extremely precocious and had - still has - quite the talent for saying the inappropriate, never mind his early preference for the male form. He managed for some time though, until his final year." Thor explained.

"The crash, right? One time, when we were - sorry - a bit drunk and really fucked out, he told me a little bit about it." Tony said. Normally his sex life was known to all, but come on, this was Loki's brother.

Sort of.

"It was not pleasant." Thor said grimly. "I would not exaggerate when I say we have not properly spoken since then. Many wrongs I have done, and I did not realise this until it was too late. Nothing would bring me more joy than reconnecting us."

"Well." Tony said, uncertain what to say. "I don't know. He's really, really angry, just in general, and he doesn't like forgiving people. So just... Keep trying. Remind him why you used to get along. Or something."

Thor nodded. "You are very good for him, Tony Stark. Thank you."

Thinking of Loki and himself cackling over dick jokes that morning, Tony silently thought that he might not be that suitable a role model for that particular wayward son, but he said nothing. "I do my best. You want anything to eat?"

Over the lunch, Tony learned that Thor loved his parents, wanted his brother back, and was engaged to one Jane Foster - he'd known that - who was a close friend of Darcy's. He hadn't known that Thor had introduced Loki and Darcy in the first place, or that Thor had known Farbauti somewhat, seeing as they'd ended up talking a bit during Loki's takeover of both their companies, and that Thor and the Valfodr family had all gone to man's funeral half a year later. In fact, apart from being a little unintelligent (though nothing of the scale Loki had indicated) Thor was a very likeable man.

When they got back to the tower, Loki and Darcy were chatting amiably, though Loki looked a tad too dark and stormy for Tony's comfort. The tall man unfolded himself from his favoured chair in the living to greet them, Tony with warmth and Thor with a little stiffness. But it was improvement.

"Loki." Thor said. "Would you care to join me for a drink this evening?"

Loki considered this. Alcohol very good (which was probably something he should worry about); Thor bad but could be good; social contact bad; lack of Tony bad. The latter point caused him to kick himself mentally. Idiot.

Hell. It was one evening and he could entertain himself by convincing someone to give him a lapdance, if only to make Thor uncomfortable.

-O.O-

Eleven years ago...

Darcy Lewis moved to London with her best friend Jane Foster when she was 20, assuming she'd be joining Jane at King's College in London. Jane had already done a degree in physics and was specialising in astrophysics – being older than Darcy – and Darcy had some vague notions about starting Political Science or...something. Did it really matter?

She never really got around to it, attending about half her classes and hunting somewhat desperately for a job that wasn't in a coffee shop.

Her reprieve came, six months after settling in London, in the form of Jane's new boyfriend, Thor Valfodr, who was a huge, cheerful man studying at King's.

He invited her to coffee, which had Darcy suspicious, seeing as while they'd met several times they'd never been alone together.

As soon as she sat down with her drink, he smiled boldly, resembling a cheerful Labrador, and boomed "Friend Darcy, Jane informs me you search for a job!"

"Uh...Yeah..." Darcy said, wondering how in the world Thor managed to speak like that. It was 2001, not 1401.

"My brother is looking for low-priced assistance in the start-up of his company, and Jane thought you may be interested?" Thor said, lowering his volume at glares from the other patrons.

"You have a brother?" Darcy said, because in the few times she'd been to the Valfodr household she's seen nothing of the sort.

Thor looked a tad pained at this. "Yes, I do, and as I said, he would require some assistance."

"Why doesn't he work for Valaskjalf?" She asked. Man, that company name was mouthful.

"He does not want to. Would you like to try for the job or not?" Thor insisted.

"Uh, yeah, sure. What's your bro's name?"

"My brother's name is Loki Valfodr." Thor said with a slightly aggrieved smile.

-O.O-

This was how, a week later, Darcy went to the same coffee shop to meet her potential employer.

Having met Thor's family, Darcy was expected someone from the same mould: tall, muscular, blonde, loud, cheery and absurdly likeable.

Instead she was greeted by Loki.

The only similarity between him and Thor was the height; aside from that he was his polar opposite. Maybe the hair was dyed? And he didn't get much sun?

"My greetings, Miss Lewis," Loki said smoothly, his voice crushed velvet to Thor's burlap. "I am Loki Laufeyson, most pleased to make your acquaintance."

"Holy shit, you're Thor's brother?" Darcy said in disbelief, mentally noting the difference in last names.

"No." Loki said curtly. "He refuses to stop calling me that, however."

"Ah, okay, sore spot." Darcy muttered. "So, uh, what's this about a job?"

"I am starting my own company, beginning with the patent of my latest creation, and I needed someone to help dot my i's and cross my t's, as it were."

"Jeez, how old are you? And you're starting a company? Darcy said.

Loki was having trouble trying to decide if Darcy's blunt manner was endearing or just plain annoying. "I am twenty-one years of age, and rest assured, I am more than qualified."

"Wow, uh, you're just a kid." Darcy said, and when Loki looked like he was going to start tearing out throats, she added "But yeah, age doesn't matter. Tell me about the job."

Loki described his ambitions of Laufeyson Corp and how his mind was going to be the driving spark, and Darcy was trying not to stare at him too much because the longer she spent in his company the more she realised how completely drop-dead gorgeous he was, and wondering about his last name and the whole family thing, until he started repeating her name over and over and she dragged herself back into paying attention.

"Uh, yeah, sorry, what was that, Lokester?" Darcy said vaguely.

Loki glared at the nickname and said "I asked if you wanted the job or not."

"Oh, yeah, sure! Definitely! I mean, I need a job, right?"

"I do not know. Do you?" Loki said tetchily.

"Yep! Cool! Here's the number of my flat, and, uh, I'll be seeing you?"

-O.O-

And that was how Darcy found herself dragged into the life of Loki Laufeyson.

Loki's new patent, as it turned out, was redesigning a complex circuit used by most technology companies so that it could be made from cheaper materials in a more compact size. Therefore the company, Laufeyson Corp (he'd rejected calling it Laufeyson-Lewis Corp) got a huge start-up and more money every day. Loki built a lab, and soon more stuff followed, meaning that Loki hired more people and rented a building and wow, it was growing fast, all thanks to Loki's brilliant mind.

Darcy had assumed, from their first meeting, that Loki was as he seemed: quiet, dignified, a little grumpy, but he was Thor's brother, so he probably had a good heart.

Boy, was she wrong.

He was very likeable, when he was in a good mood. But most of the time, he was bold, mischievous, and irritable, he could charm anyone he met, he lied for his own amusement, he said things for the sheer purpose of shocking people, he had these sudden bursts of anger that terrified her, he hated Thor, he enjoyed demeaning people, he spent days in his lab without food or sleep, he was obsessed with tidiness and cleanliness, he kickboxed, and he'd occasionally vanish for a few days only to turn up oddly cheerful and teasing, with a small spot of blush on each stunning cheekbone.

The latter, at least, was explained when Darcy got to know Loki a bit better and realised he was an incorrigible slut with little or no gender preference.

Loki Laufeyson defied expectation, to say the least.

Despite all this, Darcy found herself liking Loki even though he was a crazy sonovabitch that couldn't possibly have grown up with Thor. And anyway, Loki was the master of public image, always looking like a refined businessman, at least until the photos of any previous weekend got leaked.

-O.O-

Many, many people had wondered how Darcy Lewis came to be the only person Loki Laufeyson would call a friend. Most assumed Loki had picked Darcy up in a bar and then couldn't get rid of her.

The true story was very different. It all started several months after she started working for him.

Once, Darcy made the terrible mistake of visiting Loki in the small flat he rented next to his lab while Loki had been in absentia for a few days.

Everything seemed rather normal as she stepped in the front door – all things neatly tidied away, books on the shelves, dishes clean and stacked – and she could vaguely hear Loki's velvet voice murmuring in the living room. Hoping desperately she hadn't just walked in on Loki spending some time with one of his endless one night stands, she pushed open the door to see Loki, skin sheened with sweat, staring aimlessly out the living room window and muttering under his breath.

"Loki?" Darcy said worriedly.

Loki's head flicked around to look at her. Darcy was shocked to see his pupils nearly swallowing the acid green of his eyes, and he was trembling ever so slightly. "Fuck, Darcy," He said, voice a little more muddled than usual. "Stand still!"

"I – I'm not moving, Loki. What's going on? Are you okay?" Darcy got really nervous now. She'd never even heard Loki swear before, and generally he avoided her first name, and his composure was normally perfect, not whatever she was looking at now.

Loki sniggered. "Lovely, Darcy. Perfect. Sparkly. Now, if you will excuse me-" He staggered to his feet, meandered away, and retched into the sink.

"Oh my god!" Darcy gasped. She snatched Loki's landline from the wall and started to dial 999.

"No." Loki said, taking the handset from her with tremulous fingers. "I do not need more trouble with the police."

"What!?" Darcy said. "Loki, you're high? You're not, I dunno, having a really intense hangover?"

"I can assure-" Loki began before his attention started wandering and he stopped paying any notice to Darcy. After running his hands curiously over the walls, as though he could see something Darcy couldn't (and he probably could) Loki walked down the hallway and through the door to his lab.

Darcy tried to follow him, but he'd locked the door – and every other door to the lab.

"What the hell was that?" Darcy said.

-O.O-

She visited later, but he was still in lockdown, and his half-finished house OS told her that Loki was alive and well, albeit running a temperature and a high heart rate. It wouldn't tell her what he'd taken, though.

The next day, she visited, and Loki was still locked in his lab, but the following day Loki had left his lab, and he refused to talk to her. He was in the state she'd seen him in a many, many times; hyperactive, irritable and refusing blatantly to sleep or eat.

She'd assumed this was a normal part of him, but after his behaviour a few days ago, she wasn't so sure.

After he got nervous and tossed her out she went and looked up all his symptoms from when he'd had his little hyper attacks.

"Well, shit," she said as she put two and two together.

-O.O-

The next day she turned up, sat the semi-normal Loki (who looked suspiciously like he hadn't slept for days) on the couch and told him that he had to give up the coke, now, and dropping the LSD wouldn't hurt either.

Loki politely told her that not only was it Ritalin, not cocaine, thank you very much, but he could do what he wanted.

"Look, Loki, you say that getting your company in the air is your dream, right? If people find out you're a fucking stoner, they'll stop investing in your company faster than you can say groovy." Darcy snapped.

Loki considered this thoughtfully for a minute. "Truth be told, Darcy, that thought had occurred to me."

"Why don't you just bloody do it then?" Darcy said heatedly.

Loki shrugged. "Never got around to it. Things to do, worlds to dominate. No time to tend to a possible stimulant addiction, not if it helps me stay focused."

"Nope. Not today. This is an intervention, Loki. I'm moving into your house and following you all day to make sure you behave yourself."

Loki pondered this for a few moments. The Ritalin still in his system had him focused like a laser, and his brain was moving at record speeds. Finally he said "Certainly. I may as well break the habit until I get bored with the sober life and wake up in Duncarrick with a pounding headache and a male model called Kyle."

Darcy cracked a grin at that, surprised he'd acquiesced so easily. "That actually happened?"

"Maybe, maybe not. I'll never tell." Loki smirked.

"...Okay. Well. First thing's first: Where's your stash?"

So Loki took Darcy around the house and unearthed all concealed pharmaceuticals and hallucinogenics, smirking in a secretive way that told her quite blatantly he was messing with her, and then cooked food for Darcy while tinkering with Mark II of his cellphone.

Darcy knew full well he was trying to keep himself distracted; Ritalin withdrawal was a bitch and his somewhat irritable demeanour suggested it had already been a while since his last hit.

He refused to sleep, still too twitchy, and instead settled down for a movie with Darcy, who immediately found his stash of Disney movies and watched them.

It wasn't until the next afternoon that withdrawal hit Loki in earnest. He was suddenly depressed, gloomy and unpleasant, and he wouldn't stop talking about a car accident and how much he'd wanted to kill himself. Darcy hid any and all sharp objects and kept her eyes on Loki at all times.

He wouldn't shut up. After a while his ramblings just turned to a slew of Thor-based vitriol, and somewhere in there Darcy picked up that Loki was adopted. He kept getting angrier and angrier until he was so tired that he fell asleep on a barstool.

-O.O-

Loki slept for a bloody long time and when he woke up he seemed in a much healthier state of mind, so Darcy let him clean up without supervising. When he came back he was dressed in a tidy suit and was as meticulously well-groomed as ever, though his mood was still dark and irritable.

At least he was making some concessions towards looking the business, and he made it to a meeting even with his hands shaking.

Darcy was rather proud, and Loki was surprisingly grateful, seeing as he usually acted like working toward the good of Loki was law.

Yes, he reverted to using a shitload of coffee to keep him conscious for a few days in a row, and yes he was thoroughly caustic for the first week or two, but he didn't relapse, and Darcy couldn't help but think that she'd made an impact in Loki's life.

Especially when he invited her for dinner, smiling in his charismatic way and calling her a friend. For Loki to make friends was a monumental achievement, as Thor could verily tell you.