This is it! I hope you've enjoyed the story. I'll be posting more on my AO3 account (which you can find mentioned in the first author's note of this story), so check it out starting the first Saturday in January if you're interested in more of my stuff.

(Also there's not actually any sexual content in this chapter, despite how suggestive the dialogue gets near the end. Just a warning for people sensitive to that stuff.)

Chapter 28: Everyone: Live Happily Ever After


"John, we're going to be late! Hurry the fuck up!"

There was the sound of rustling, then John was complaining, "Just give me a minute, Karkat! There are so many buttons!"

Karkat growled low in his throat, fidgeting in the tuxedo Kanaya had made just for him, all swooping lines and red swirls and elegant curves. His tie was offensively scarlet as his blood, tiny cancer symbols picked out in beautiful black thread, all of which would have made him fall over into a panicked fit as little as two sweeps ago—but now all his secrets were out, and he couldn't care less. The hemospectrum was dead and gone now, and there was no reason to kill each other over something so silly as blood color.

"Karkat!" John wailed suddenly from behind the curtain, "help!"

Oh gog, his moirail was useless. He shot an exasperated look over to Kanaya, who had invited the two of them over to her workshop to help them get dressed for the monumental event that was going to take place today, but she just hid a smile and waved him toward the enclosed area where John was flailing.

"Kaaaaaaaarkat!"

He curled his lip. "You've been spending too much time around Serket." But still he stalked over and threw the curtain open, reveling in John's startled yelp, and quickly closed it again. "Oh, sweet troll jegus," he sighed, taking in the situation. "You're impossible."

John just whimpered. The poor guy had somehow managed to get himself tangled up in his suit jacket, arms twisted every which way, and one of his feet was missing a sock inside its shoe.

"Come here," Karkat ordered. Then, seeing John make no effort to move, he marched over to his ailing moirail and reached up to help untangle him from the beautiful piece of art Kanaya had designed for him. When the suit jacket finally came free, Karkat checked it over for wrinkles (there were only a few, it would be fine), brushed it off, and helped John put it on the right way. "You know, trolls don't even have tuxedos, why am I the one teaching you how to get dressed?"

"I don't know," John whined, blinking down at Karkat with wide, blue eyes. He still had those same glasses with the Cancer symbol engraved in the side, the ones he'd designed two sweeps ago, and the tiny pink symbol caught the light as he moved his head. There was a new addition, now—a black Libra symbol outlined in teal so it stood out against the dark color of his frames. Similarly, Dave had etched a pink Virgo symbol onto the other side of his glasses, soon followed by (and everyone was only remotely shocked by this), a black Capricorn symbol outlined in a striking indigo. His shades were starting to look ridiculous, truth be told, but Karkat wouldn't dream of asking him to change them. He'd worn them every moment of his life and he would wear them today, no matter how much he protested.

Karkat finished buttoning up John's jacket with a huff. Kanaya had designed him a suit themed around the color blue, the slimming black material hugged by a deep midnight trim and reaching up to enclose a sky-blue collared shirt, a black tie patterned with John's signature symbol hanging lightly down his chest to disappear beneath the buttoned front of his suit jacket. It was beautiful.

"Hold still," Karkat instructed, leaning down and pulling John's sock-less foot out of his shoe. "How did you even manage this? Jegus fuck, you're hopeless." He pulled John's other sock on for him (which had somehow ended up slung halfway across the dressing room) and slotted his foot back into place, thankful that his dress shoes didn't have laces. He hated laces. "There, you're dressed. Now don't ruin it."

John grinned down at him. "Thanks, Karkat!" He pushed his glasses further up on his nose. "Um, we should probably leave, right?"

"Yes we should leave," he snapped. "We're going to be late as it is, now let's go!"

John just giggled, letting his moirail take hold of his wrist and drag him out of the dressing room.

Kanaya paused as they emerged, glancing over at them. "Both of you look quite nice," she commented. "Dave will be pleased, I think."

"And will I be pleased?" Karkat demanded. He hadn't yet seen Dave's outfit as per some ridiculous human tradition he couldn't care less about.

Kanaya's lips twitched. "You'll certainly be surprised."

Karkat narrowed his eyes. "If my matesprit shows up in a dress, I'm putting my claws through your precious sewing machines, one by one, until there's not enough build grist left over to produce so much as a needle."

She laughed, "No, no—I promise, I didn't make a dress!"

"Good," Karkat growled. "Now let's go!"

Kanaya gestured to the door. "By all means, let us depart. But remember, no teleporters today! You're supposed to walk down the aisle, not fly, not teleport—and you can't dive roll, John!"

John's eyes widened innocently. "I just wanted to see how it would feel! It was just practice!"

"And if you decide to try it again today, I'll practice shoving my sickles right up your waste chute!" Karkat hissed. "Behave!"

"Aww, okay," John pouted, but he didn't look very put out. "Come on, Karkat, Dave will be waiting!"

Then the two of them were tearing outside, Kanaya following them at a more reasonable pace, and heading towards the place that had been designated for today's event. When Rose and Kanaya had done it, they'd used the center of town. Dave and Karkat had considered it for all of two seconds before they'd decided that there was a much better place awaiting them, and with that they had announced that when this disaster of an idea went down, it would happen along the cliffs where Karkat had plunged to his apparent death.

"Just a little piece of history come to life," Dave had teased, and Karkat had decked him right upside the head for joking about it.

The two of them headed through a much-changed town on their way to the clifftop. In the two sweeps since Gamzee had been revived and everyone had begun to build their lives together, everything had changed, and nothing had changed. The village had expanded massively, with multiple story buildings rising up off the ground and stretching high into the sky and shopping complexes popping up out of nowhere. They didn't really have an economy, per say—rather, they had enough build grist left over to make anything they ever wanted, so no one had to pay, and what they didn't want to use grist on they simply made themselves out of raw materials or grew from the fields to the west.

As the village expanded, some of the dersites and prospitarians had started to go off in other directions and start their own settlements, and before long there were dozens of villages in their new world. And as those settlements popped up, their clump of twenty-one friends began to go off one by one and choose where they wanted to spend their days.

Jake and Dirk had been among the first to depart, declaring that their taste for adventure hadn't left them, and that they wanted to see what rested just beyond the horizon. Eventually they sent word back that they'd found a beautiful place to the west where some townsfolk had decided to make their own village, and they wanted to stay there. It was a small place, but close to endless stretches of mountains and places to explore, and they loved it. Not long after that, Nepeta had gone out to see it and declared that she loved the surrounding forest—and as a result, Equius was there not long after that.

Terezi and Vriska had been next. They'd moved not too far away, mostly out of consideration for their quadrants, but had decided to set up shop out in the desert several miles off the main town. Tavros had chosen to live not too far away. Only a short jump by teleporter would take him to the oceanside where Gamzee had made his hive, and only a hop away from that found Eridan's palace.

Feferi chose to keep to the oceans where Karkat had nearly lost his life. She was close by enough to invite Karkat swimming, and the two of them spent a lot of time exploring the ocean floor with Sollux flying overhead in a fit of exasperation. Aradia chose a middle ground between the main village and the place where Equius had made his home. She was constantly zipping in between Sollux's hive and Equius's, and it seemed that all the final traces of fatalism had left her. Roxy and Callie took off for the hills as well, living high up in the mountains in yet another settlement that they seemed to love.

Everything was different. Everything except for some things, which never changed.

Karkat's hive remained in the same place, for one. It remained standing in the exact spot it had always been, still slightly isolated from the rest of the town, still the same as ever. Dave lived there permanently now, and the two of them hadn't had a major fight in sweeps. Nearly dying put things in perspective, apparently.

Eventually, John had decided to move out. He stayed close, though, moving his house to stand in the empty space Terezi's had used to occupy. Sollux lived immediately across from him, easily within tormenting distance. Rose and Kanaya had moved their house so it was next to the lab, and it hadn't taken long for Jane to join them. Jane was every busy with her expanding system of portals, choosing to hang close to the home base of all her portals.

Everything was different, and nothing was different, and everyone was happy.

Life buzzed along, day by day, and everyone was so caught up in exploring and forming relationships and expanding their horizons that no one really noticed how much time was passing. That is, until Dave looked at Karkat one day and said, "It's been nearly five years," and Karkat realized that he was right. It had been nearly five years, only a little over two sweeps, and he hadn't even noticed.

And then something had happened that had thrown things into proportion, and suddenly everything had felt a lot more real.

†††

It had all started with Dave going to Rose out of the blue, making sure that Karkat was occupied with John beforehand so he wouldn't suspect a thing.

"Dave?" Rose asked, looking to him with concern. "It's been a long time since you came to see me. Is everything okay?"

Dave fidgeted nervously. "Yeah, everything is fine."

A frown. "You don't look okay. Is something wrong with Karkat?"

"No, everything is fine," he repeated.

"Ah. So you're living in domestic bliss, is that it?"

Not quite as domestic as I want it to be. That's the problem.

Rose seemed to catch his hesitation. "Should I fetch Kanaya? She's your moirail whether you wish to use the term or not; perhaps she would be better suited to help you with whatever problems you're having."

"No, no!" he insisted immediately. "Look, just…" He trailed off. God, he was really about to ask this. He couldn't believe himself. He was such a dorky, unironic piece of shit. "You proposed to Kanaya, right?"

Immediately Rose stiffened, and Dave knew that his hand had been tipped. "Dave. Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"Can you just answer the question?" he muttered. "I'm trying to get some advice here!"

Rose smirked. "I see. Well, in that case, yes—I was the one that proposed to Kanaya."

"And you, uh, managed to alchemize her a ring?"

Her smirk widened. "Yes, I did."

Dave waited awkwardly for a moment, hoping that she would just offer to help without him having to actually ask, but she said nothing, and he realized that he was going to have to be a man about this. He was in his early twenties at this point, he could do this. "Do you think you can help me figure out how to do that myself?"

"And why would you need a ring, Dave? Is there something you're planning on doing?"

Oh, fuck her and her desire to antagonize everyone around her. "Seriously?"

She blinked innocently. "How can I know what kind of a ring to help you make if you don't tell me what it's for?"

Dave growled out, "I'm going to propose to Karkat! I'm going to force him to marry me even if he thinks it's the stupidest thing on the planet, so I need to figure out how to make a ring!"

"Ah." If Rose smiled any wider, the rest of her face was going to be consumed by a gaping slash of teeth. "I think I can help you with that. What were you thinking of for a design?"

Dave told her, in as short, clipped phrasing as he could, exactly what he wanted. He'd expected to be laughed at, but Rose hadn't had any problems with helping him once he got over the initial embarrassment of asking for help. Sure, he could have gone to Sollux, but he was sure that he would have had no end of teasing there. Working with Rose was painful just because of his own insecurities about doing what he was doing, but in the end he managed to design a beautiful ring, black as night and shimmering with rubies, and it was perfect.

Then had come the hard part.

†††

Karkat remembered the exact moment he'd realized that he was going to be dragged into one of the humans' miserable traditions.

He'd known that something was up for weeks. Dave had been shoving him off on John and then disappearing for hours at a time, then returning and acting like he'd never been gone. At first he'd been worried that something was going on, or that he was sneaking off to somewhere because he wasn't satisfied with his other concupiscent quadrant (i.e., Karkat himself), but when Dave returned looking just the same as when he'd left, he guessed that wasn't the case. But that begged the question—what was he doing?

He puzzled over it for days, not wanting to ask just in case it was something serious that Dave wouldn't want to talk about. His patience could only last for so long, though, and it wasn't long before he started to break.

Then, just before he finally snapped and asked Dave what was going on, it happened.

One night, Dave had just randomly asked him if he wanted to go out to the cliffside. It had been late, far too late for this sort of thing, and Karkat had almost refused before he saw the earnest expression on his matesprit's face. Something was going on. And so he'd agreed, and before he had the chance to protest he was being scooped up and flown outside.

A few minutes later, they'd landed at the place where Karkat had toppled to his 'death' two sweeps prior. The atmosphere had been strangely tense. So tense, and Karkat had fidgeted uncertainly as his matesprit arranged the two of them at the edge of the cliff. After that, they'd just spent some time standing around talking. The entire time Karkat had been unable to put aside his fears, though, and after just a few minutes he was buzzing with tension.

Finally, both of them decided that enough was enough.

"Look," Dave said at last, reaching out and clasping his palms to Karkat's shoulders, drawing him close until the length of his matesprit's body was pressed against him. "I've debated how I wanted to do this for a long time. Every time I started to plan it out it just felt too scripted and stiff, and after spending so much time with Rose trying to get the physical components right, I didn't want to mess the whole emotional thing up."

Karkat sneered. "So you have been rushing off to do something!"

"You noticed?"

"Of course I fucking noticed! You've been slipping off practically every day for weeks doing jegus knows what; I've been so worried!"

Dave blinked. "Worried?"

"Yes I've been worried! I thought you were fucking unsatisfied or some shit, and running off because of it!"

He stared, looking like an antlerbeast caught in the headlights. "Oh. Oh, no—Karkat, that's not right at all!"

He'd known that it wasn't right, but hearing it from Dave himself still made relief spike through him. "Then what have you been doing?"

"I'm getting there," Dave soothed, running his palms up and down Karkat's arms. "Just listen to me for a moment."

Silently, he nodded. He figured he owed his matesprit this much, at least.

"Look, Karkat—I love the shit out of you, you know that, right?"

"Yeah, of course," he said, unnerved.

"Well, ah…I've been thinking for a while that I wanted to have some way of showing that I loved you more than anyone else. I want to put a mark on you, I guess, the way you put one on me all those years ago." He brushed his fingertips across the side of his shades, where Karkat's symbol was engraved in bright scarlet.

Then he took off his glasses, and Karkat's eyes went wide.

"I'm going to be completely unironic here, dude. I love you. I love you more than anything else on this planet, more than anything in the history of paradox space. And I want to keep you."

Slowly, something in his subconscious was beginning to connect the dots. But Karkat's conscious mind was running slow, and he stared at Dave in bewilderment and said, "You have me."

Dave stared. Then he laughed, drawing back until there was a good foot of space between them. "I know I do. But now I want to really have you, like, forever."

Karkat blinked, confused. "What?"

There were cool fingers at his wrist, then, and he realized that Dave was grabbing onto his left arm as he slowly slid to one knee. Then the human was reaching for something in his sylladex, and a heartbeat later he was holding out a little box with a delicate black ring sticking out of a pad of foam.

Karkat stared. "What?"

"Come on, dude," Dave chuckled, "you've seen enough human romcoms to know where this is going."

He had, but his think pan was having a hard time processing things.

Dave smiled up at him, earnest and true, with no barrier over his eyes to hide what he was really feeling. "Karkat Vantas, I'm asking you to human marry me."

Karkat's throat closed in on itself then and there. "Idiot," he rasped, "trolls don't get married to their quadrants."

Dave shrugged. "But this one does, right?"

And gog fucking damn it, he was right. Again.

Dave plucked the black ring from its nest of foam and held it to the light of the moon. "So, Vantas? Do you want to be a Strider?"

And there were about a thousand retorts bubbling on the edge of his tongue to that one—I'm not your fucking girlfriend, don't try to steal my name, for one—but he was too busy crying like a wiggler fresh out of the caverns to get anything coherent out other than a rasping, "Yes," and so that was what he said.

Dave smirked. "Nailed it." And it was the most unromantic thing to say under the circumstances, but then he was sliding that black band onto Karkat's finger, and the troll was staring in awe as he realized that Dave had somehow managed to etch out his own scarlet cog of time into the black material in a spattering of scarlet gemstones. It was simple but elegant, beautiful, and he loved it.

"What about yours?" he inquired. "Am I supposed to figure out how to alchemize one for you?"

His idiot of a matesprit just smirked, saying, "Yep. Good luck with that one, genius."

Karkat had yelped in frustration then, lunged for Dave, but his knight was already zipping up into the air and swooping around to embrace him from behind, barking out a muffled laugh into his shoulder. "I love you, Karkat," he breathed, pressing his lips against the juncture between neck and shoulder. "I love you so much, as unironic as that makes me sound."

Karkat blushed. He was glad Dave couldn't see his face. "Yeah. I pity the fuck out of you, too."

And even though they were speaking different languages, both knew that they were feeling the same thing.

†††

"Oh my god, we're so late," John gasped as they finally neared the cliffside.

"And whose fault is that, fuckass?" Karkat snapped. "You're the one that had a wardrobe malfunction at the worst possible moment!"

"Hey, I said I was sorry!" John whined. "Now come on, let's hurry!"

They did. The two of them rushed across the final remaining space between the forest and the break in the trees that led to where this disaster would take place, and then, suddenly, they were there.

Karkat froze the instant he emerged. Namely, he froze because everyone was staring at him. All of the humans and trolls had gathered (along with a single cherub) for this complete dumpster fire of an event, and now all of them were staring right at him with expressions varying from irritated to amused.

Then a familiar voice rang out, and blood rushed to his cheeks.

"Way to be late for your own wedding, dude."

His head snapped up, mouth open to protest with a few choice words—but then he saw who was talking, and his mouth just ended up hanging open in shock.

The trees rustled behind him. Kanaya emerged a moment later, and then she was saying, "Oh! My goodness, we are rather late. I apologize, everyone, John had a few problems with his outfit."

John stuttered out an apology, but Karkat wasn't listening. He was too busy staring at his matesprit (or would Dave want to call him his husband after this? Humans were so weird) and wondering just what the fuck Kanaya had been thinking.

"Kanaya," he growled, "you let him leave your workshop like that?"

Kanaya attempted to hide her smile and failed miserably. "He insisted upon it."

"What's wrong?" Dave called from the podium, a shit-eating grin spread across his face. "Don't like the tux, Karkles?"

He stared flatly. "You look like a traffic light."

"How do you even know what a traffic light is?"

He bared his teeth. "Don't fucking tease me! You're the one that showed up in a bright fucking red tuxedo!"

And he had. Kanaya had made him a blindingly red outfit, the horrid color only interrupted by his black collared shirt. The entire thing was patterned with cogs that were only a slightly less hideous color of red, and it was so distinctly Dave Strider that it made Karkat drop his head into his hands and groan.

Dave was still watching him with that ridiculous smirk. He said nothing further, though, which meant that he knew exactly what he was thinking.

"Okay," Rose said brusquely, clapping her hands together in an attempt to hide how frazzled she was. She'd tried desperately to make the wedding as organized as possible, but it was just as much as mess as anything that involved Dave and Karkat as the main participants was bound to be. "Let's get this thing going, shall we?"

After that, everything turned into a blur of movement. Kanaya took Karkat by the arm and pushed him into place, making sure he remembered exactly what he was supposed to do. Down the isle, Dave was rearranged so that he was standing in the exact right position and place. Gamzee, who was acting as the minister (a really fucking horrible idea, but no one seemed to care), stood by the altar with a dopey grin on his face, bickering with Dave off and on as everyone else scrambled to find their seats. It was the most chaotic, unorganized thing Karkat had ever seen.

It was pretty, though. Rose and Kanaya had done wonders with the scenery. They'd alchemized enough chairs for everyone, arranged them on both sides of the aisle (which was made up of a long stretch of white tiles settled into the grass, just proving how meticulously planned out this whole disaster had been), and put up weird pillar-like things on either side of the altar that bled into a white marble archway that curved overhead. Karkat didn't really know what all of it meant, but he was willing to go along with it for Dave.

"Ready?" John whispered in his ear. Apparently in human weddings one participant was supposed to be passed off by their lusus—but in absence of such a thing, John had decided that he was going to be the one to walk with him. Actually, they'd done a lot of things that weren't considered normal, judging by what Rose and Dave had said. The entire thing was kind of a mess. It was an endearing mess, though, so different from what Rose and Kanaya had done, and he loved it for how distinctly Dave it was. Unorganized and chaotic. Just like time travel.

Karkat watched in amusement as the trolls and humans scrambled into their seats and settled down. All of them were dressed nicely (Eridan in particular stuck out like a sore thumb in one of his typical seadweller outfits), and Karkat thought with a spark of sadness that it would be a long time before they were all gathered together again.

But there was no time to think about that now.

"Okay," Kanaya announced, "we're ready to go!"

The audience settled down. At the front, near the edge of the cliff, Dave was watching him through those insufferable shades, and Gamzee was holding a book of some sort in his hand. To one side, Rose stood in a beautiful gown, and on the other, Dirk stood with his arms crossed and his chin held high. Apparently they were supposed to be, like, the best man and the best…woman? How were weddings supposed to work? No one had really been sure, seeing as all of the humans had been removed from their planet at thirteen years and never really bothered to figure out how their human weddings were supposed to work, and so they were just winging it. Winging it in a very, very chaotic way.

Someone did something, and then a wheezing song started up. Hideous. Completely awful on the ears. And of course, the humans could only remember the first part of the song when they'd recorded it, so it just repeated on an endless, droning loop. Gog, why were human traditions so weird?

"Karkat," John hissed, "let's go!" He tugged at his arm, and then they were moving.

This is stupid. Karkat shoved his free hand into his pocket as he moved. He shuffled his way along the aisle, catching more than one amused glance from his fellow trolls, and he almost tried to hide his face as blood rushed to his cheeks. This is so fucking stupid. He kept moving despite the thoughts, though, trying to focus on keeping his blush down.

And then—curse his awful coordination—he tripped.

John steadied him immediately, but it had still happened, and he could hear the trolls and a few humans snickering at him.

Fuck. Why am I doing this, again?

A laugh, low and familiar, sounded from the altar. Then Dave was lifting off and flying towards him, leaving his position to land in front of Karkat with a knowing smirk.

Oh, right—he's why.

"Real graceful, Karkles," Dave chuckled. "Here, let me help you along." Then he scooped him up, ignoring an indignant protest from Rose about how this was not how they were supposed to be doing this, and lifted him into the air. A sour note rang out from wherever the music was playing. Dave winced. "John, would you take care of that for me?"

John grinned. "Sure thing!" He reached out, and the next moment a flicker of wind was blasting into the CD player and knocking it into the ocean.

Rose groaned. "Oh my god."

"My wedding, my rules," Dave retorted. He flew to the altar and set Karkat down with a loving smile. And fuck, he loved this human so much that it hurt to think about. He was why he was putting up with this wedding garbage. "Let's get this show on the road."

Karkat glanced behind him to see that John had chosen his seat and settled down. Dave grasped his hands, smirking. They were ready to begin.

The instant Gamzee opened his mouth, Karkat knew that this had been a mistake.

"All right, it's time to get our motherfucking wedding on!"

Rose stared in horror. Karkat groaned. Dave snickered, then hid the sound with a cough.

"We're all up and joined here on this fine motherfucking day to celebrate the rad fucking union between my best friend and his bitchtits matesprit."

Oh no. He was going to cringe right up into the fucking atmosphere. He was going to cringe so hard that he'd fall into the ocean and drown despite his gills.

Gamzee turned the pages of his book (it was blank, Karkat noticed) as if he were looking for something. Then his eyes lit up, and he said, "Oh, right! So, there's probably all kinds of shit I'm supposed to be up and saying right here about matrimony and compatibility and all that good stuff. But I think I forgot? So, let's just get all sappy and sentimental for a good motherfucking minute and then we can get you guys all married and shit!"

Dave snorted. "Good idea, Gamzee." And he was definitely not supposed to talk in the middle of the ceremony, if Rose's glare had anything to say about it.

Gamzee smirked. "Riiiight…now where was I?"

He was in the middle of completely humiliating everyone present. And then he kept humiliating them, because he just wouldn't stop fucking talking, and it was just all taking too long. But…then he looked at Dave, saw the way he was watching Gamzee with an amused expression, saw the way he was sticking his tongue out at Rose whenever she made a move like she was about to intervene, and the severity of his expression lessened. His matesprit was enjoying himself, and that was all that mattered.

"I love you," Karkat blurted out before he could stop himself, talking right over Gamzee, and the snickers he heard in response were more than worth the flushed expression on his matesprit's face.

"That just about covers it," Dave agreed. "Gamzee, care to wrap this up?"

The clown troll paused mid-sentence. Then he smirked, dopey and relaxed, and said, "I guess this is as good a place as any to up and call it quits. So, Strider, do you, uh…" And here he paused, no doubt trying to remember something from what Rose had told him to say. "Uh…do you want to be this little motherfucker's matesprit?"

"Husband," Rose hissed through her teeth. "And that's not—"

"Husband!" Gamzee corrected. "Do you want to be all like, his husband?"

The corners of Dave's mouth twitched. "Yeah. I really do."

"And Vantas! Karbro! Do you want to be this guy's husband?"

He glared up at his matesprit without any hint of real heat. "Unfortunately, I do."

"That's motherfucking fantastic! Look at the two of you, all adorable and shit, ready to—"

"Gamzee," Rose prompted, and her voice rang with distress. "The ceremony."

"Oh, right—I now pronounce you motherfucking married!"

It was probably the least romantic thing Karkat had ever heard in his entire life. Off to one side, Rose's head was in her hands, and several of the guests were tittering. But then Dave leaned forward and kissed him, unbidden by Gamzee but still an ingrained part of the ceremony, and it was suddenly the most romantic thing he'd ever experienced.

Someone whooped. People clapped and cheered.

Then Karkat was smacked with a facefull of confetti as John blasted it around with his windy powers, and the entire situation went right back to intolerable.

Dave threw his head back and laughed, reached up and ruffled Karkat's hair affectionately. "Thanks for putting up with me, nubs."

Karkat snarled up at him, but he wasn't really angry. Mostly he was happy, seeing Dave so content and relaxed, even with colored paper sticking to his face and John coming up to tackle him in congratulations.

"Oh, come on, Rose!" John chirped. "It wasn't that bad!"

Rose looked like she was about to argue for a moment. But then she sighed, shaking her head from side to side, and said, "I suppose you're right. Should we usher everyone back to the lab for the reception?"

Karkat had to choke back a laugh. It just put the cherry on top of the fucking cake that the reception would be held in a labratory. He wasn't sure how human weddings normally went, but he had a feeling that this one had been a complete disaster. He loved Dave anyway, though, and he was sure that his matesprit—husband?—was content.

"Congratulations, Karkat!" Jake called, bouncing up to him with a wide grin, Dirk not far behind.

"Yeah," Dirk agreed, "good job on managing to maintain a relationship with my bro."

"Lookth like you finally made it," Sollux broke in, punching him lightly on the shoulder. "You did good, KK—I'm jutht glad that I'm never going to go through that shit."

As if on cue, Feferi appeared. "Oh, Karkat, that was so beautiful! Gamzee did so well, and you and Dave looked so amazing, and I can't wait to try it for myself!"

Sollux paled. "What?"

Feferi ignored him. "I'm so glad you got to do this!"

Karkat opened his mouth to respond, but he couldn't get out a single syllable before he was being batted upside the head by Eridan.

"Congrats, Kar," he said. "Good to see you fillin' your quadrants with a bunch of humans."

"Fuck off, Eridan," he snapped, and Nepeta appeared immediately to distract him, Equius at her side.

"Oh, Karkitty, I'm so happy for you!"

"Yes, it's fascinating to see a real troll-human union in person," Equius agreed.

Karkat glanced at them sideways. "Um, yeah, thanks."

There were more after that. More people coming up to him, congratulating him before slipping off to where Rose was hosting the reception. Soon enough Dave was dragging him off to the lab as well, and the two of them proceeded to spend the entire evening walking around and just talking to people. Apparently this was another component of human weddings, where the wedded pair just ran around talking to their guests instead of actually getting to sit down and relax.

Really, the entire thing was stupid. If Dave hadn't wanted this, Karkat would happily have told everyone to fuck off and leave him in peace. But Dave did want this, and so Karkat would go along with it to make him happy. He had an obligation to his matesprit.

As long as Dave was pleased, he thought he would be willing to endure anything.

†††

Hours later, after the last guest had fled and the cleanup had been finished, Karkat and Dave were the only ones left in the lab.

"Wow," Dave sighed, stretching his arms above his head. "That was an ordeal."

"You're the one that wanted it, fuckass," Karkat pointed out. "If it hadn't been for you, we could be peacefully sleeping back on our sleep slat right now."

"That does sound pretty good," Dave sighed, swaggering his way over to him and throwing an arm around his shoulders. "But I'm more interested in something else right now."

"And what would that be, I wonder?" Karkat mocked.

"Don't joke," Dave said with a teasing smirk. "You haven't seen what I've done yet."

Immediately he was suspicious. "What the fuck did you do?"

Dave raised a brow and stepped back towards the exit to the lab. "Follow me and see, Strider."

"I did not consent to changing my name!" Karkat snapped after him, but resigned himself to trailing after his matesprit as he led him outside. "As far as I'm concerned, I'm still Karkat Vantas. If anyone's changing their name, it's you!"

"Dave Vantas, huh?" he chuckled. "Not too shabby."

Something warm twinged in his stomach at the sound of that name, but he denied it the instant it happened. Names meant nothing to him. All that mattered was Dave.

"Here we are," Dave announced, pointing at one of Jane's window portals.

"What," Karkat snorted, "are we off to some magnificent wonderland?"

"Not exactly." Dave stepped back and gestured to the portal. "Why don't you go make sure?"

He glared, uncertain. Felt the black band resting firm against his finger, reassuring him. Then he stepped forward, letting himself fall into the portal without another moment of hesitation, and—

Oh, fuck…

Karkat stared in awe at the hive towering before him, taking the familiar surroundings. This was…

"Like it?" Dave asked casually, stepping out of the portal behind him and snapping it up into his sylladex so that no one could follow. "It took me quite a few trips to complete."

Karkat shook his head in disbelief—because this was the island he'd been stranded on for six months, and that hive had taken the place of the tiny cabin he'd made himself all those sweeps ago. Dave had turned his nightmare into a paradise.

"Karkat? You're scaring me here. You like it, don't you…?"

He forced himself to snap out of it. "Fuck yes," he whispered. "Shit, Dave, this is…"

It was gorgeous. The hive was gorgeous, all sweeping archways and clean lines and bright colors, and Karkat loved it. Even the fact that they were in his old prison couldn't make him fear it.

Dave's worried expression melted away. "Come on, then—the bedroom is simply to die for." He waggled his eyebrows.

"Don't push your luck," Karkat growled, but didn't resist in the least as Dave tugged him into the entrance hall, then into the main body of the hive. It was just as beautiful on the inside, filled with furniture that he must have gone to Sollux to figure out how to alchemize. The entire thing was set up like some kind of highblood vacation hive, and it made his stomach lurch with affection. He pitied Dave so much. He loved him so much.

Dave didn't say anything, not yet. He just grinned back at Karkat, watching him marvel at the hive as he slowly tugged him for the stairs. The hive was two stories, Karkat soon found out, and it didn't take long to weave their way in between the rooms until they reached what they were after.

"Lady Strider," Dave teased, opening the door in front of them and gesturing into the open space.

Karkat made a show of narrowing his eyes at his matesprit as he cautiously stepped inside, and—oh. It was the master bedroom. The entire room was cast in a low pinkish glow (mood lighting, Dave? Really?), the light bouncing off of the furniture. There was a dresser, a chest of drawers, bedside tables, a door that no doubt led to a bathroom…but none of that was what really interested him. What interested him was the fact that there wasn't a bed. Rather, there was a plush, circular platform that stood only about two feet off the ground, the material of a soft, scarlet make.

"Went to Sollux, did you?" he breathed, attempting to confirm his suspicions.

"How else would I know what an Alternian pailing platform was supposed to look like, let alone how to alchemize it?" Dave shrugged. "It was a hell of a conversation, I'll grant you that, but…I thought you would appreciate it."

He did. He'd always hated Alternia, hated his life and what it represented. But seeing the familiar platform reminded him of his old hive, his only comfort in a desolate world, and he felt his blood pusher clench with nostalgia.

Fingertips brushed over his shoulders, down his arms. Dave's chest pressed to his back, his entire body draping over him like a blanket. The door closed, and Karkat had no clue how his matesprit had managed to reach it in his current position.

"So…" Dave purred. "You've seen enough human romcoms to know what normally happens after a wedding, right?"

Something twinged in Karkat's chest. "We didn't exactly follow tradition with the wedding," he pointed out, "getting a psychotic murder clown to flap his gums at us for half an hour and all. I don't see why we have to start now."

Dave groaned. "Come on, Karkles, don't antagonize me, here! I've been waiting all day for this shit, and I know you have too."

He had, and that was the sad part. "Oh, is this where you impress me, Strider? Prove that you're a viable partner?"

"Think I've proved that more than enough times in the past few years," Dave joked crudely. "That is, unless you think there were performance issues."

Karkat narrowed his eyes, caught between embarrassing himself by telling Dave the truth and antagonizing him a bit more.

Unfortunately, his silence was as good as admittance. "That's what I thought," Dave purred, nuzzling into the side of his matesprit's neck. "Now are you just going to stand there, or are you going to turn around and kiss me?"

Karkat promptly chose the second option.