Ok, so I know it had been a while since I updated (and I'm really really sorry!) but I was just a bit stuck in this story... :( I'm also working on another story, a one-shot about Jace and Clary that plays in the shadowhunter world, and I hope you guys wanna read it once I'm finished with it :p Love you all!

The DivergentMortalInstruments and Virginia Herondale-Raffaeli: thank you so much for your positive reviews :)

DauntlesShadowhunterChick: What's happening next? Well read this chapter and you'll find out ;)

JaceHerondale17: I laughed so hard when I read your review :) I am so glad I'm not the only one who fantasizes about Jace in a spiderman suit :p HELL YES girl! :D


Clary's POV

I laid in my bed, staring at the ceiling and trying to find out what to do about Jace. After all that had happened, I was pretty much convinced that this wasn't just a fling for him, and it made me happy and frightened at the same time. I mean, every one told me that the old Jace had been a player and a complete jackass, flirting with every girl and not caring if he broke any hearts, but that he had changed now. And I believed them, because I couldn't imagine that the "new" Jace, my Jace, would do anything like that. I mean sure, he was arrogant and egocentric sometimes, but he was also sweet and caring and supportive and… I sighed. He was perfect, not in an annoying way, but in a good way. And I was scared that I would disappoint him or do something wrong, and hurt this new, "vulnerable" Jace. He had such a difficult past... and I was afraid to ruin his future. My brain cells just wouldn't shut up: they just kept producing worst-case scenarios and possible tragedies. God this was unbearable!


Jace's POV

I sat on the floor in front of my window, staring at the stars and trying to calm my thoughts. After telling Clary my story, it all had seemed… more alive. Like it had been buried for long, until I had dug it up again and … awoken it. I heard my mother's voice again, my father's footsteps as he walked up to the door, the fighting, the gunshots… I cringed a little and laid my hands on my ears, trying to stop the noises, and all at once I was back in that closet, hiding for… them. My body trembled, and in a last attempt to stay sane, I thought about Clary. She was… my rock, my midpoint, my compass. I felt how the shaking stopped gradually, and I opened my eyes again. I was back in my room, cold sweat on my body and my breath heavy and ragged. This was impossible; I couldn't do this on my own anymore…


Clary's POV

For the second time this evening, I got an unexpected message. Wondering why I had deserved all this attention, I grabbed my phone and read the message. It was Jace's -who else? I really needed to get some friends…- but his playful tone of earlier had disappeared entirely.

Can I come over? Need your help. J

I gulped. This was serious… Jace admitting he needed help? That was just… so not him. I immediately responded.

Anytime Jace, you know where to find me. I'm here for you x C

I started pacing around in my room. What was wrong? Had I been so occupied in my own thoughts that I couldn't see that a friend needed me? That my boyfriend needed me?! I hadn't seen any sign that something had been wrong with him, he had seemed so relaxed and cheerful and… happy this evening. Or was he sorry that he had opened up to me and was he now going to reject me? Push me aside again? And why wasn't he answering? Did I need to go to his room? Check if he was all right?

My stream of thoughts was interrupted by a soft knock on the door, and I almost flew to it in my haste to open it. Jace stood in front of me, only wearing grey sweatpants, his hear messy and his eyes haggard. Before I could say anything, he kissed me roughly, in the same time closing the door. I stumbled a bit, taken aback by his actions, and I could feel that this kiss was different from all the other kisses we had ever shared. This wasn't a kiss of love… this was a kiss that tasted like despair, anxiety and pain. I felt how much he needed me, and I kissed him back, giving him all the love and consolation I had in me. After a few minutes, we pulled apart, both panting. I looked in his eyes, and what I saw there was… scaring the hell out of me. In his eyes, I saw so much agony, that it almost hurt to look at it, and I couldn't imagine what he was feeling right now. "Jace, what has happened? Who did this to you?" I whispered afraid, and then… he started crying.

As I helped him reach my bed, I felt how he was clinging onto me, like I was the only thing left to him in this world. I laid him down, his head on my lap, and tried to calm him down. "It's gonna be alright Jace, I'm here. Whatever this is, we gonna figure it out together. I'll help you Jace, I'm here for you." I repeated over and over for more than 20 minutes, until he calmed down. I was holding him tightly in my arms, and for the first time this night he spoke. "I'm sorry Clary" was all he said, after which a single tear started rolling down his cheek. I kissed it away. "Don't you dare being sorry for this." I answered. "Just tell me how I can help you."

"I miss them so much Clary… Oh God I miss them so much… I thought I was over it, that I had… given it a place, but after retelling my story to you they just… don't wanna get out of my head Clary." he brought out in fits and starts. "And the only way I could figure out to get them out of my mind, was you. So I just… I mean it was an impulsive action, I shouldn't have dragged you into this, but I just couldn't… handle it on my own. I'm so sorry…" His voice broke and I took his head in my hands as I spoke to him. "Listen to me Jace, there is no reason to be sorry. You are hurt, and you shouldn't face that on your own. I'm glad you came to me. In good times AND in bad times, remember? You don't need to deal with this on your own Jace, I'm here to stand by your side. And I know I can't replace your family, but you have a new family now Jace… Maryse, Robert, Alec, Izzy… me: we will never, ever leave you. I promise." Jace didn't say a word, but I saw how his body finally started to relax. His muscles unclenched, his eyes softened, and a miniscule smile played around his lips. He sat up and took me in his arms, and for a moment that was all we needed.

After a few minutes, I broke the silence with a whisper. "Stay here tonight" I asked him, "stay with me tonight." "I don't think I even have the power to leave you tonight…" was his simple answer, after which he lifted me up and laid me gently in my bed. He covered my body with my sheets and slipped under them as well, leaving some space between our bodies as a true gentleman. W e laid still for a few minutes, both unsure what the other wanted but heavily aware of the others presence. The tension between us was palpable, and after a few minutes we couldn't hold it any longer. Almost at the same time, we started moving to each other, until our bodies finally touched. He gently turned me around and pulled me close to his body, and I automatically felt at ease. I was still worrying about him, but at this moment it was… livable. His bare chest against my back and his lips that gently caressed my neck... that was just one of the best feelings in the world. And for a moment, everything was alright.


Jace's POV

As I held her in my arms, I was finally at ease. Her scent, her steady breathing, her body against mine… I was hooked on every detail of her. I gave her a kiss in her neck as I whispered "Goodnight Clary", and I felt how she pulled me even closer to her. "Goodnight Jace" she whispered back… and for a moment, everything was alright.


Soooo I decided to use only Jace's and Clary's POV because I thought this was just such an... intimate scene :) Hope you liked it! xxx N.