Dear new recruits,

sometimes, standing in front of the mirror or trying to put on some old clothes, one will get the idea of being too fat.
Not only will those thoughts make you frustrated and unhappy, but they might also lead to you think you have to loose some weight.

Follow this sheet to test if you really need to loose weight, and to finding out how many calories per day you use.


Dieting for Atlanteans


Am I too fat??

Would a Wraith die from a fatty heart after trying to suck you dry?

Have you ever managed to beat Ronon during training by simply rolling on him?

Do villagers worship you, thinking you are a fertility god or goddess?

Is your gravity high enough to keep other people in your orbit?

Do you always have a puddle jumper for yourself?

Have the Wraith ever tried to use a tractor beam on you and failed because of your mass?

Unless you answered one of those questions with 'yes', please relax. There's no need for you to go on a diet.

Basic eating rules:

If you don't know how many calories your food has, compare it to something similar looking (chocolate - brown rice, potato chips – bananas...)

As for alien ingredients, they have no calories at all due to the fact they come though outer space, which is very cold – and calories is an heat unit

If the food doesn't taste good, it does have negative calories, for you have to force yourself to eat it

Coffee is a stimulant – so anything you eat with coffee will immediately be burnt because your body has a higher consumption rate

Weighting 500 kilo or more will result in you having a layer of fat thick enough make you bullet proof

Just the thought of working out with Ronon is so scary you burn half of your daily calories

The use of calories on a normal day

Waking up from the noise of the alarm clock ►2 calories

Pushing the snooze button, going back to sleep ►4,6 calories

Finally getting out of bed ►12 calories

Brushing teeth ►1 calories

Shaving ►1 calories

Taking a shower ►3 calories

Looking for clothes, finding clean socks and underwear ►15 calories

Battle for a cup of coffee and some breakfast in the mess ►30 calories

Listening to colleguages during Breakfast ►10 calories

Scientist:

Way to the lab, foot ►4 calories

Way to the lab, transporter ►0,1 calories

Way to the lab, broken transporter which has to be fixed midway ►90,2 calories

Starting the computer ►0,9 calories

Listening to McKay ►40 calories

Argueing with McKay ►54,2 calories

Restraining yourself from straggling McKay ►100 calories

Working on an ancient artefac ►17 calories

Mental stress of working on an ancient artefact ►3 calories

Running for your life ►130 calories

Getting yourself a cup of coffee ►0,2 calories

Fighting for the last cup of coffee ►17 calories

Looking busy doing nothing ►6 calories

Eating lunch ►12 calories

Trying to sooth the wrath of the cook after complaining about lunch ►22 calories

Returning to the lab ►1,1 calories

Playing freecell ►3,5 calories

Configurating the city systems ►11 calories

Re-configurating the city systems ►25,6 calories

Getting yourself a cup of cold coffee ►0,2 calories

Gossiping ►2 calories

Gossiping with Chuck ►5,1

Cutting yourself on a sharp edge ►0,01 calories

Wailing and looking for plasters ►3,2 calories

Claiming to die from blood poisoning ►8 calories

Searching for McKay's hidden stock of Powerbars ►5,2 calories

Finding it ►0,1 calories

Getting caught redhanded by McKay (Reparing the sewers of area 4) ►90 calories

Taking a very long shower ►14 calories

Finding pyjamas ►0,2 calories

Falling asleep ►1 calories

Getting up in the middle of the night due to some emergency ► 120 calories

Dreaming of exploding ancient artefacts ►3,8 calories

Marine:

Way to the gym, slow ►2,1 calories

Way to the gym, very, very slow ►5,2 calories

Panic resulting from having to train with Ronon/Teyla/ ►8 calories

Hiding from Ronon /Teyla ►40 calories

Training with Ronon/ Teyla ►167,3 calories

Limping to the infirmary ►9,5 calories

Wondering what dinner consists of ►1,5 calories

Eating dinner ►0,6 calories

Eating your whole dinner ►2,3 calories

Playing golf ►16,1 calories

Refusing to play golf (Cleaing the sewers) ►200,1 calories

Patrolling, shor ►t20 calories

Patrolling, long ►27.2 calories

Patrolling knowing a Wraith is lurking round ►70 calories

Eating dinner ►2,1 calories

Going to bed ►2,3 calories

Getting up again to undress ►3,2 calories

Dreaming of a Wraith Invasion ►3,8 calories

Offworlder:

Refusing to go offworld ►12 calories

Finally giving in ►4 calories

Packing ►7,8 calories

Packing, to be prepared for anything ►14,5 calories

Going through the gate ►0,07 calories

Carrying pack, normal ►21 calories

Carrying pack, 'prepared for aynthing' ►92

Hiking to the village / outpost ► 15 calories

Talking to the elders ►9 calories

Finding an interesting artefac ►t9,1 calories

Having it almost kill oneself ►15,8 calories

Angering the villagers ►0,009 calories

Running all the way back to the gate ►40 calories

Being caught and dragged back ►2,3 calories

Being held captive ►3 calories

Escaping ►54 calories

Getting shot ►0,1 calories

Having to run despite being shot ►22 calories

Being angry for having to run despite being shot ►78 calories

Having surgery ►1,7 calories

Recovering ►182 calories

Returning from a mission without any scratch ►0,02 calories

Tests to prove one isn't an asuran or Wraith ►60 calories

Writing a mission report ►5,1 calories

Trying to get around writing a mission report ►15,6 calories