DSLW 28

i.

He banged on the door and shouted through the keyhole for Mira but after the tenth time or so, there was no answer. Merle glanced back – the last thing he wanted was nosy neighbours – other staff or residents coming to investigate the noise but so far so good. Luckily, it was late in the afternoon – they ate their evening meal early here...that must be it.

He sensed something seriously was wrong ….the silence coming from inside the cottage was ominous and heavy with an unspoken dread. He had even called out his brother's name in the hope he was there but it hadn't felt like he was. He drew back his foot ready to kick it down before he slapped his head.

'Think, you idiot, jus' think!' He slapped himself upside the head. He reached down under the mat and grinned weakly before turning the key in the lock and slipping inside.

The phone was ringing but Mira was nowhere to be found. Then again, he hadn't time to search the whole house. Intent on answering it, he didn't even notice the dark maroonish stains o the living room carpet trailing off behind the sofa. He also failed to notice its strange position.

He strode over and Carol answered, immediately swamping him with her anxious voice. 'Mira? I've been trying to ring you for ages... It's already 5 - if you couldn't come because of Daryl, you should have let me know. I mean...I've got Lizzie here with me ...we can cover your shift. (Pause) Are you and Daryl, OK?'

No, they are not. Daryl's disappeared but I'll find him and when I do... Merle thought wondering when he would be able to get a word in edgeways.

'That you, Carol?' He finally managed to get in.

'Why, who's that?' She gushed. 'Oh, I know that voice. Merle?' What are you doing there?'

'That's me. Look...Mira asked me to tell you if you called...she can't do the evening shift. Look's like she's got what Daryl's got...She says she'll try and do her morning shift if she's up to it. But she probably won't be.' He nearly forgot to add. Because had she gone to look for his brother too in her condition despite his reassurances that he was doing everything he could to find Daryl?

'Uh...what bad luck...both of them got the same bug. But she should be especially careful with the baby...if it gets worse, make sure you take her to the hospital.'

'Will do. Don't worry, I'll take care of 'em. Better go now, Daryl's callin' me (I wish). Needs me to mop his brow or somethin'.' He gave a hard cackle but his laughter sounded hollow and fake even to his own ears. Didn't matter, she seemed convinced anyway.

He put the phone down, suppressing the urge to slam it down and letting Carol hear.

'Mira!' He bellowed throughout the house. 'I know ya in here. Is my brother with ya?'

Silence. Then he heard it. A tiny noise coming from behind the sofa like a small gasp of pain or pleasure – he couldn't tell which. Maybe both. Then he noticed the blood stains on the carpet for the first time.

'Jesus fucked!' He yelled before yanking back the settee...he hadn't noticed its unfamiliar and untidy position pushed far too forward from the wall and he found her crouched behind it. Looked like she must have crawled there on her hands and knees to do what? To hide? Pretty lame hiding place. With her nightdress hitched up to her waist and hunched over there, cutting her swollen stomach. Had she hurt the baby? GOD NO! He didn't even want to think how this would affect his brother who deserved some happiness in his life if anyone did. Now, it looked like it might all be ruined because he'd misjudged Daryl's girlfriend.Sbe really was a fuck-up who he should have left at the roadside in the pouring rain. Not giving her a lift because she was pretty and interesting just like she was running away from hell like they were.

He glanced briefly before he turned away in disgust because the inside of her thighs were a mess of bloody cuts but at least they were shallow. Even though there was blood everywhere all over her and on the carpet, making it look worse than it was. He knew, had seen enough injuries before to know the difference between potentially fatal and superficial.

'Stop that!' He tore the knife away from her and threw it in the corner where it couldn't hurt anyone. 'What the hell do ya think ya doin'?' He roared in her face. Shock and horror taking him over.

She didn't react to his presence or what he had just done. He noticed her split lip and wondered if she could have done it to herself. He had to admit to himself that it was unlikely. Someone had slapped her around. A pregnant girl!

She didn't even know he was there, for all he knew to judge by the vacant look in her eye. Worse - he could have sworn she'd been about to graduate from cutting to stabbing herself in the belly with it like a sleepwalker. Looked like he had come just in the time because what the hell was she doing? He knew she'd been a cutter but since she'd got together with his brother, he thought all that had stopped. That they were good for each other. She'd stopped his nightmares and Daryl had stopped her self-harm – a good exchange.

Shouldn't have believed anything could go right for the Dixons – too much happiness then everything goes down the shitter.

He knew he should clean her up first – stop the bleeding but she was looking more and more out of it. So, for the sake of her decency and his brother's, he pulled down her nightie. He'd just have to trust the bleeding would stop soon – but by the look of it she'd been crying out for help, wasn't actually suicidal. Yet, she still didn't even seem to notice, just sat there staring at a point on the wall beyond his face

He shook her. 'What the hell's wrong with you! Were you tryin' to kill baby, you stupid bitch?' He screamed in her face but she didn't seem to hear – didn't even flinch. Just kept staring at that invisible spot on the wall behind him. Like he didn't exist and it was driving him crazy.

He shook her again. 'What about my brother? Did ya ever think what this would do to Daryl?'

That got her...when she mentioned his name, she seemed to come out of her fog. Infuriatingly slowly when he needed to know.

'Have you seen him? Did he come back? Call?'

'N...no.' She shook her head slowly, seemed surprised to find herself there, against the wall behind the sofa. 'Wha...what happened?'

'Ya don't remember?' He shook his head in disbelief. 'Ya were cutting yaself...about to stab yaself in the belly. Were ya trying to kill the baby?'

'What? No!' She screamed as she lunged at him to attack him with her fists even as she winced and drew back and clutched her stomach in pain instead. Forcing him to immediately regret his words. But Dixons didn't do subtle and they weren't ones for mincing words neither.

He grabbed her small hands easily in one hand and he knew he shouldn't but he just wanted to shock her into reality so he yanked up her nightdress again– it was OK because he knew that she was wearing all-concealing underwear. 'Look!'

She obeyed but her reaction was like a doctor regarding a patient's injuries dispassionately.

'See- why did ya do it?'. He pulled it down again, more gently this time as his anger faded. 'Sorry...jus' wanted to make ya see what ya did to yaself.' He explained awkwardly because Dixons didn't do apologies either.

'I...I don't know.' She started to sob. He tried to put his arm around her but she jerked it off.

He started to realise that something was seriously wrong – maybe not her fault that she was in this state - had something happened? He reached out slowly to touch around her split lip. She didn't flinch away but carried on looking at him through her tears. Really- she's not that different from Daryl – both jumpy bags of nerves. But he'd been getting better.

He softened his voice. 'Did something happen?'' He repeated.

Her lips trembled because suddenly it was all coming back to her in an overwhelming rush.

'Did someone come round...maybe the psycho who's got my brother?'

'Yeah.' She tried to pull herself together but she couldn't. 'It's...B...Barry...'

'Ya sick fuck stepdad? What did he want?'

'He...he...' Her breath hitched. 'He's the one who's got Daryl.'

He grabbed her shoulders then. 'Where? Is he still alive?'

'Yeah.' She pointed to the other side of the room. 'He...he left his number...wants ya to meet him, man to man, tomorrow. He leapt up to grab the small piece of paper, carefully examining the number.

He breathed a sigh of relief. Took her face in his hand. 'Thank God. Knew Darlena wouldn't ever abandon ya and the kid...'

He traced her split lip gently with his finger again. 'Did he do this?'

'Yeah...' But her lips twisted and the tears threatened to spill down her cheeks again, belying her casual tone.

He tore himself away and thumped the table with his fist in rage. Started swearing loudly and foully.

'Bastard! Did he do anythin' else?' He pressed.

'Yeah...But it don't matter. Didn't do anything he didn't do before. We got to get Daryl back!' The tears were really now running down her cheeks and Merle suddenly had the urge to kiss them away but he didn't.

. 'But please don't ask me what he did. I can't...can't say...'

He turned away then because he didn't really want to know but he could imagine what the bastard did...he just wondered how far he went. Not caring that she was nearly due.

' Don't worry, I'm gonna fuckin' kill him. Make sure he'll never hurt you or anyone ever again.' He meant her and the baby as well as his brother.

She looked up at him and he couldn't read her expression. He hoped that she approved.

ii.

'Come on, girl.' He reached for her but naturally she flinched away. Thanks to Barry she didn't even trust him any more.

He paused and looked at her in mild exasperation. 'It's OK, don't ya know me by now? Said I ain't gonna do nothin' to ya...'sides, ya with Daryl now.'

'Yeah ...I remember us bein' together never stopped ya tryin' to kiss me!' She hissed weakly but she let him pick her up. Carry her up to the bathroom and lay her gently on the floor.

'Jus' gonna run a bath...then we need to bandage ya up. Lucky ya all this didn't bring on the baby early.'

'It's not that early. It's about due now.' She mumbled barely audibly, voice fading.

'You got any bandages, antiseptic cream?' He started to ransack the bathroom cabinet.

'Got it!' He turned around as her eyes started to flutter.

'Don't pass out on me!' He slapped her cheek lightly to wake her up. She came around slowly and he wondered if it was blood loss...if he should take her to hospital after all.

'No...' She mumbled as he began to strip her to her underwear.'Barry...don't.'

'It's Merle. And I have to do this...or maybe ya want to go to the hospital straightaway?'

'No...' There was panic in her voice.

'I ain't lookin', promise.' He told her as he lifted her up with a grunt and laid her in the warm bath. He'd checked the water temperature beforehand and filled it up with bubble bath. Of course he knew Darlena was mad on that stuff – they didn't always have even a bar of soap when they'd been growing up - hadn't been able to afford that necessity.

'See – can't see nothin' now.' She still had her bra and panties on – sensible white cotton and he really hadn't seen anything. Except for the cuts and the scars... the fresh ones standing out from the old...even Merle had winced when he saw them. He'd known that she was a cutter – but he hadn't known the full extent of it. Barely an inch of her limbs front and back were left unmarked.

He urged her forward so that he could sponge her back and neck. She even started to rcome to more and elax when he began to massage her there in circles.

'Ah.' She groaned. 'That feels so good.'

He smirked because he knew he was good with his hands. People told him all the time. Not just in the sack either...he could literally heal with them. He knew – he'd helped Daryl get over what their Dad did to him.

But was he really over it? And what was this crazy psycho Barry doing with his baby brother right now? Something that would set him back years again? He pushed the worry aside because he had to make sure Mira was OK first. Daryl would never forgive him if he didn't take care of her.

'Here.' He stopped suddenly and handed it to her. 'You'll have to wash...um...down there.'

He looked away and she was surprised to see him blush. Merle – embarrassed? Never?

She nodded and started to dab the cuts between her legs and on her belly. He knew that the warm water must have made them stung when he put her in but she'd been too out of it to notice the pain. Now she was wincing – he couldn't help catching her from out of the corner of her eye as she gingerly felt herself – her stomach and her upper legs and he chivalrously turned away even though it was all hidden by the foam.

'They hurt?'

'Yeah. I wanna get out now. You shouldn't have to do this ...take care of me...you should be rescuing Daryl.'

'Yeah, I know. But how's he gonna feel if he comes back only to find somethin' happened to ya and the baby? He'd never forgive me – he'd want me to put you and his kid first, I know him.'

She shrugged. 'I jus' can't believe...'

He took the sponge from her again and started dabbing her neck and throat.

'Don't worry, he ain't gonna do anythin' with him tonight...needs him as bait.'

She turned to glare at him. 'How can ya be like that! He's ya brother!'

'Sh...' He wound her long hair into a ponytail and tugged on it gently. 'If he was dead or injuried, I would know.'

'How?'

He shrugged. 'Look, I'm gonna get him tomorrow, bring him home after I've dealt with that asshole, Barry.'

He noticed her shudder involuntarily when he mentioned her stepfather's name.

'Wanna get out now? Towel's heating on the radiator.'

She nodded. 'But I can get out myself...don't need you.' But as if to disprove her words, she wobbled and nearly fell down in a faint when she stood up. He caught her.

'Allow me. Still not sure whether I shouldn't take ya to the hospital...you've been bleedin'...'

'I'm OK!' She snapped but her eyes fluttered and and he wrapped her in a warm towel and took her into the bedroom. Of course her underwear was soaking.

He tried to wake her up by slapping her lightly, splashing her with the bath water.

'Shit...Oh, shit...' He felt her pulse. It was strong and steady. 'Wake up!'

But she didn't stir. He lay her down on their bed, still wrapped in the towel. Checked her colour – pale but no more than usual.

He prayed that she was just exhausted or should he drive her to the ER?

And face all those awkward questions? He had more chance of getting rid of Barry for once and for all if few people knew he'd been here. Or why or what his connection to Mira was.

He sighed and went back into the bathroom to fetch the bandages and antiseptic.

Started to clean her up, she mumbled and jerked but otherwise didn't rouse. Maybe it's better that way but when she wakes up with her underwear off, she's gonna think I took advantage. Still sees me as a piece of shit with no morals and she's probably right.

Maybe I should leave them on.

He shrugged as he cleaned up the cuts. He noted with relief that he'd been right – they were superficial. She must just be exhausted ...no surprise if that animal had done to her what she'd suggested he'd done. Merle felt a thrill of rage and righteous anger because the girl was family now and he was going to make the sick fuck die in agony. Just like another pervert who had hurt his baby brother in that way...even if he had been their father because in the end, it hadn't mattered, none of it had. Not when they crossed that particular line.

In fact, he would look forward to ending the bastard nice and slow so he'd be screaming and pleading for forgiveness and mercy neither of which he would get before he died gratefully.

No, I ain't touchin' her ...leave 'em on. They'll probably dry overnight, don't want her to get the wrong idea. She still thinks I can't be trusted, he decided as he finished rubbing the cream into the last cut. At least she can't feel it stinging, he thought to himself.

He rolled her out of her towel but by then she was snoring lightly and he thought it was cute. Did Darlena mind her snoring in bed at night? Did it keep him awake? He didn't think so. Really, he should be more worried about him – he was and he would rescue him in the morning. After he'd arranged a rendez-vous with that sack of shit by phone. Keeping his temper and leaving out the threats and insults was going to be a challenge.

'Night, night, princess.' He kissed her forehead before he tucked her in. 'Don't worry, I'll get Darlena back for ya in time for the birth.'

He closed the door gently. Thought about just scouting around to look if he could find where Daryl was being held – he knew it must be somewhere isolated. An old factory maybe? Plenty of disused places around. It would be somewhere nearby, he knew.

'