Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.


Chapter 28

EPOV

The hours fly by and before I know it the storm has ceased and the sun is shining brightly in the sky. The roads are just about cleared and we're waiting to take Bella and Claire to the hospital.

Yesterday, between doting on Claire and worrying about Bella, we somehow remembered that it was Christmas day and exchanged gifts. We're a pretty simple family that enjoys the holiday more than the giving of gifts, but each of us took turns ripping through wrapping paper like children. This year mom and dad, or I should say mom, bought me new porcelain plates, sturdy pots and pans, gold silverware, and wine glasses…I know this stuff cost a fortune but mom played it down saying she got them for a good price. I know my mother—she's as over the top as her spawn, Alice. Speaking of her, she broke out a huge box filled with brand new clothes, shoes, and "manly" accessories as she calls them. I don't think a fanny pack is very manly but she promises that it's all the rage amongst men in my age group. Rosalie bought me a nice sweater and Emmett forked over a book of coupons to Bella Italia.

That's my brother.

Jasper gave me books. He always gives me books.

Mom, Rose, and Alice cooked up a hearty breakfast after all the gifts were open. I couldn't be more thankful for it, you know with everything that has happened food was the last thing on all of our minds. As day turned into night, we all spent time reminiscing on past Christmases and what we looked forward to in the coming months. Our annual trip back to Forks was coming up in the summer…I'd love to take Bella and Claire along to see my old neighborhood.

A small whimper interrupted my thoughts and I look down at the wiggling little bundle of joy currently lying across my chest. The bundle that I'm absolutely in love with… Her black, curly hair is lovely set against her russet color skin. Her eyes are pools of chocolate like Bella's. She has the most awesome birthday, and her mother is the one to thank for bringing her into this world.

It's the next morning and they both seem to be doing well despite the odds. I feel like Dr. Cope was trying to scare us when she said the baby may have deformities. She was wrong…Claire is perfect. Rose, Alice, and mom have been fawning all over her like she's the most precious thing they've ever seen. Really she is, truly a blessing in disguise. Even Jasper and Emmett go all goo goo eyes around her…I have a feeling that this little treasure will be a soft spot in all our hearts.

"Edward, we've been given the go ahead to transport the girls to the hospital. We need to make sure they're both bundled up tight. Emmett is going to go bring the car around."

"Alright dad." I pass the baby off to my sister and go upstairs to wake Bella.

I stand in the doorway and watch her sleep. It's truly amazing to see her so docile while this very room seems to protect her from outside burdens and troubles. Looking at her now, no one would think that she had just gone through something as life changing as giving birth. Sometimes I wonder if her life would have turned out different—would I ever have gotten the chance to meet her? If she'd never been hurt by those despicable people, would we ever have crossed paths?

I shake my head to clear the angry cloud that was sure to form just thinking about how much pain she's endured. I'd kill them all if I could…

Rubbing a hand over my tired eyes, I move quietly into the room, stopping when I reach the side of her bed. I stand there for a few minutes longer reaching out to smooth her hair from her beautiful face. I hate to wake her while she's sleeping so peacefully.

"Bella baby," I softly shake her "wake up love."

She moans and stiffly turns over. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong. The roads are clear now and we're going to take you and the baby to the hospital."

"Why? I feel fine."

I know she doesn't feel fine. Her skin is pale and she can barely move without wincing.

"You still need to be checked to make sure you're doing alright."

"Fine." She sighs.

"We need to get you into some warm clothes." I help her sit up first, then go to the closet to see if I can find something warm and comfortable for her to wear. I pull out a loose pair of sweat pants and a sweater and then search for her favorite slippers.

"Shit Edward, I'm bleeding all over your good towels." She cries.

"I can buy new towels. My main concern is you right now."

After helping Bella get dressed we argue about how we're going to get her downstairs and into the car. She wanted to walk, while I wanted to carry her. The good thing about Bella right now is she's so tired and her usual feisty attitude has taken a backseat, I win the argument.

With hugs and kisses for Bella from the family, I carry her to the car where dad is waiting. When I get her situated I jog back to the house to retrieve Claire from my mother. I carefully walk back to the car and climb into the backseat with Bella; dad begins the slow trek to the hospital. From time to time I see Bella steal a peak at the tightly wrapped bundle in my arms. I wonder what she's thinking…If within these last twenty four hours her outlook has changed. I know that mine has, about everything. I want Bella and Claire like this, forever.

We get to the hospital and Dr. Cope is waiting with a wheelchair. She and Bella may have had their differences in the past, but as soon as I place Bella into the wheelchair Dr. Cope stroked her hair as she looks over the damaged girl who has more guts than anyone I've ever known.

The maternity ward and nursery are located on the fourth floor of the hospital. Dr. Cope assures me that as soon as she has carefully examined both Bella and Claire I can see them. So, I pace and worry for three hours straight. Dad has tried to get me to sit down and relax but he gave in when he realized I was just too nervous to sit still. I'm waiting to hear about the two most important people in my life and I want them to be just fine, but I know there's a possibility that they aren't.

I've done everything that I can; I just have to trust that Dr. Cope will take care of them now.

"Edward, you have no reason to worry son. Both of them are receiving the best care." Dad lifts his tired head from his hands.

"How can you tell me not to worry? Any moment now Sheryl could come out here and tell us something is seriously wrong with either one or both of them. I don't know if I can handle that. I can't lose them."

"You won't lose them son." I remember him saying something like that when Jane slipped into her depression. That didn't end so well.

"Nothing is promised."

Logically I know that my girls are in the best hands…But it's the unknown that scares the shit out of me.

"Son." Dad nods behind me. I turn to see Dr. Cope walking toward us.

I rush toward her. "How are they?"

"Well, everything looks great with Bella. She has minimal tearing. Of course there's some discomfort and she has developed a slight fever, so I would like to keep her overnight. Other than that, she's doing well." My body sags in relief.

"And Claire?"

A small smile lit her face. "Miraculously she seems fine. Her vital signs are good, she's alert, her weight is still on the small side. She's just beautiful." She beams.

"Can I see them?"

"Sure. Oh, I meant to ask, how have you been feeding the baby?"

"Bella has been breastfeeding her."

Dr. Cope looks surprised. "Oh…Well, please follow me."

Dad and I follow her to the nursery where Claire is being changed by one of the nurses. She passes Claire to me, and I feel whole again. I hold her in my arms as I've done so many times before. She's only two days old but she's strong…A fighter.

And I love her.

I want her.

I want Claire.

I want to be her dad.

"Can I take her to see Bella?" I ask. Dr. Cope gives me the go ahead.

It's a short walk to room 4298. I knock with my free hand and let myself in. Bella is sitting up watching television.

"Hey." She greets me with a smile.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine Ed."

To my utter surprise Bella opens her arms for the baby, and I happily hand her over. She holds her against her chest, slowly rocking back and forth lovingly. It warms my heart to see this, Bella outwardly showing affection instead of pretending as if her baby doesn't exist.

When the baby becomes fussy Bella automatically pulls her arm from her shirt and exposes her breast. Claire latches on and feeds peacefully.

"This is so weird." Bella murmurs, looking down upon the blissful face of her child.

"It's beautiful."

"You Cullen's sure are strange." She rolls her eyes but smiles.

"Yeah, but you love us." I say. She seems to have a hard time with that, lowering her head so that she's hidden behind a curtain of hair.

I sit forward and move her hair from her face. I want to see her. "There's actually something I wanted to talk to you about."

"What is it?"

"It's about the baby."

Her eyes dart over to me then back down. "Is she okay?"

"She's fine. Actually she's amazing. That's why I wanted to talk to you." Here goes nothing. "These past four months with you have taught me so much. You mean the world to me, and watching you give birth to her solidified how strong you are. I love both of you very much and that's why I want you both to stay with me."

There…It's out. I can finally breathe; the weight of those words has sat heavily on my chest since I admitted them to myself. I didn't expect her to be so quiet though. It seems everything around us went completely silent as I wait for her to say something.

She said nothing for a long time.

So I did. "I want to adopt the baby Bella, but only if you want me to."

"Edward-" She sighs and without even having to say it, I know it's not something I want to hear.

"Just please hear me out. You and the baby can stay with me just like you have been. Nothing will change. I'll always be there to help you...Bella I know this can work."

"No Edward."

"Bella-"

"It won't work. My heart isn't in this."

"What do you mean your heart isn't in this?"

She takes a big gulp of air. "Let me go Edward." Her voice shaky, she doesn't look confident as she speaks. "The… baby… deserves to have someone as good and decent as you and your family. If you want her then I will sign my rights over to you...But you have to let me go."

It suddenly dawns on me what she's saying, and where this was heading. No…This is not happening. "I won't let you go back out there like that."

"It's not your decision to make. I've overstayed my welcome… I let you take care of me, but I'm not pregnant anymore. I have to learn how to make my own way without you now." Her eyes bore into mine.

"So what? You're going back to being a prostitute now? Even after all of this you think you can just go back to that life?"

She looks away from me. "I don't know what I am going to do."

"No! Stop and think about your daughter for two fucking seconds."

Bella looks down at the baby who has fallen asleep in her arms. Tears begin streaming down her face. "I am thinking of her Edward. I may not always show it but I am. Until she was born I kept thinking I have to find her a good home, I have to find people who will take care of her because I can't. If I stay in her life it will be more detrimental to her than her being with you, without me. Please, understand Edward…I can't give her anything." She cries, her eyes pleading with me to understand.

I don't think I can.

"You are her mother!"

"Yeah, well I don't deserve to be. I'm a fucking whore Edward! Even if I change and try to go on the straight and narrow I have to live with what I've done. How can you even look at me and call me a mother when I was fucking drinking, and doing drugs while I was pregnant before you found me. I'm so fucked up in the head Edward...I have nightmares all the time. I'm scared all the time…"

She's hysterical now. Claire, I'm sure sensing how upset her mother is whimpers. Bella lovingly rubs her hand over her baby's hair...In that moment I see what she's been fighting, what she would let none of us see...Love in her eyes. She loves her baby, but she's afraid because she never had the kind of love she deserved. I thought I was helping…I thought…

"I can't do this…" She moves the sleeping baby away from her breast and with shaky arms she hands her back to me. I can tell she wants to be alone now…And because I don't want to upset her or myself any further I'll go, for now.

I support Claire's head in my hand and drop a kiss on his soft little cheek. "Can I just say one more thing before I leave?"

She lifts her head, blinking through the moisture that has settled in her eyes. "Bella..." I lean down and kiss her. If I'm going to lay it all out there on the line, I might as well do it in style.

"I love you."

As I walk out of the door, I swear I hear her whisper that she loves me back.


BPOV

The past two days have been a whirlwind of ups and downs. I've done something that I never imagined I'd do in a million years, and I've had time to reflect on it in the moments that I'm alone. It was a tremendous hurdle to come out on the other side feeling that I accomplished what I had been destined to do, and that was to bring my daughter safely into this world. And now as I am alone once more I can cry the tears of happiness, sadness, and heartache.

What I have to do is killing me inside…

The moments that I've been able to spend with my daughter in my arms are something that I'll always cherish. It has changed me, altered my life forever.

…But it has to be done. For her, I have to do this.

I know Edward will take care of her; the Cullen's will be the family that she deserves. I see it now…This happened for a reason. Edward Cullen found me for a reason. He took me in and turned my world upside down for a reason…He came into my life to show me what love truly is, and he has accepted the responsibility of loving my daughter even though she doesn't share his DNA.

I'll never find someone like him, and honestly I never want to…I can only hope he'll forgive me one day for this.

After Edward left I asked one of the nurses to bring the baby back to my room. I needed some time alone with her. I couldn't relax until she was in my arms.

Will it always feel like this?

I thought when she was no longer inside of me I would lose that connection. I find myself with each time I hold her that I don't want to let her go. I've undoubtedly become attached even though I tried so hard to fight those feelings. She's mine and I love her…But my mind is made up.

No more doubting my decision…It's time to face life this time.

I prop my sleepy baby up against my knees and stare at her, noting her subtle changes and smiling at our similarities. God, I wish I knew who the guy is. If I could just remember what he looks like maybe I could piece together the features that I don't recognize.

"Hey peanut. You're so tiny." She didn't feel so tiny when she came out of my hoo-ha.

Her eyes open and she tries to focus on me, but she doesn't seem too happy having me in her face.

"Yeah, I don't like being woken up either. Sorry." I kiss her cheeks. She smells so good, like powder and milk.

"Listen, no matter what happens…I love you. I always have, even when I didn't want to. Edward wants you and I can't tell you how happy that makes me. You'll have a good family who will give you the world baby girl. Never take it for granted."

Please God, don't let my daughter turn out to be just like me.

I spend hours holding, watching, changing and feeding her—spending as much time as I can before I leave tonight. At around ten I call a nurse to come and get her. I know most mothers keep their baby's through the night but I was given the option to send her back to the nursery, and I need it under the pretense of wanting to sleep.

I kiss her one last time and try to hold back the tears as the nurse takes her back to the nursery.

I climb out of the hospital bed and find my bag that Carlisle brought for me. Inside held all of my belongings from before I lived with Edward, which isn't very much. I asked Rosalie to pack it for me last night; she asked no questions as I told her what to put in my duffle bag. The first thing I do is take a shower, because there's no telling when I'll have the opportunity to have one again. I brush my teeth…I comb my hair…I slip into my old clothes—baggy jeans and a loose sweater. In the back pocket is about three hundred dollars I'd been saving before I met Edward.

It's late, about midnight when I peek outside of the door. There's a nurse with her back turned to my room—I quietly tip toe out, searching for anyone else who might see me. Passing the nurses' station I speed walk down the hallway toward the elevators. The windows of the nursery stop me though; I peek in and see a nurse holding a baby in her arms.

It's my baby.

Tears stream down my face… It will be as if I never existed. Edward or his family won't have to worry about seeing me again. She'll be safe…He'll protect her with his life.

"I love you little peanut."

I leave the hospital with a promise to myself to become a better person from this experience.

One thing is for certain…I have to get the hell out of Seattle.


EPOV

Sleep came easy, surprisingly so because I haven't slept by myself in a few months. I've grown accustomed to having Bella and her belly by my side, tossing and turning all night to find comfort and always finding her way into my arms. I didn't want to leave the hospital yesterday fearing that I would miss something, or not being around just in case Bella or Claire needed me. Dad, being the ever present voice of reason pushed me to realize how tired I was and assured me that if anything happened the hospital would call right away.

My alarm blared promptly at eight-thirty the next morning—the sun cut through the gap in the curtains in a faint beam. I knew that if I didn't set my alarm I would sleep the day away, and I want to be bright eyed when I bring my girls home.

As I shower and get dressed I can already hear the chatter of women from the floor below me. Leave it to the women in my family to barge into my house while I'm asleep and take over. Privacy isn't exactly their specialty.

"Good morning." Mom greets me when I walk into the kitchen. She and the girls have crap everywhere. It looks like a baby store threw up on every surface of my house.

"Morning…What the hell is all this?" I bend down to place a kiss on her forehead.

"Language." She slaps my arm, earning a chuckle from Alice and Rose.

"This, dear brother, is everything Claire will need when she comes home." Alice is shaking with excitement.

Just the thought of bringing her home to this puts a smile on my face. I can't help it.

"Wow, this is great. You guys didn't have to do all of this."

"Of course we did."

I chuckle to myself, shaking my head at my sister's exuberance. "Well, as much as I appreciate it, I think we should hold off on everything until I talk to Bella."

"Do you think she's still having second thoughts?" Mom asks.

"I don't know. I just think it would be better to talk to her first about what she's feeling before we spring this on her." I don't want to scare her away if she's not totally comfortable just yet.

"Sure honey." Mom smiles up at me. "We'll make sure to have it all put away before you get home." She reassures me.

"Thank you."

I notice Rose is quiet on her side of the kitchen. Her eyes are unfocused as she stares straight ahead, something obviously playing out in her mind. I don't think I've ever seen her blatantly check out before.

"When are they going to be discharged?" Mom lightly brushed my arm.

"Um, whenever I get the call. I want to go up there now but I think it would be better if I didn't. If Bella's fever hasn't lifted I'm sure they'll want to keep her until it breaks. She needs her rest."

"What about the baby? I mean, if she's fine, can you bring her home?" Rose asks distractedly.

What is her deal?

"I want to bring them home together."

"Right." She states embarrassedly. She excuses herself to the living room to call Emmett.

"Anyway, aren't you just excited to get them back home?" Alice asks with a quick laugh. "It hasn't even been a full twenty-four hours yet and I miss them."

"Yes." I have faith that everything is going to work out, just fine.

But I felt suddenly, inexplicably drawn to wanting to know what was going on with Rose. My sister-in-law has never been this quiet, unless something is seriously wrong with her. I love my family so much and Rose has been a steady part of it for many years. I know when something is wrong with any of them because of how close we are…And I don't like to see any of them acting other than themselves. Mom and Alice start chatting about diapers so I take that time to sneak out. I find Rose exactly where she said she'd be, standing in my living room.

"You seem off." I come up behind her.

She doesn't answer. She's biting her nails staring listlessly out of the window. "Hey." I move in front of her.

"What?" She looks up, baffled by my presence.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm fine." Her cheeks redden and she looks away instinctively.

"Look at me." I say. Her face looks all the more overwhelmed as she complies, looking up into my eyes. "You can talk to me."

"I know-"there's a slight pause before she sighs, "have you ever done something you knew was wrong, but you don't regret it, even though it would cause a lot of heartache to those around you?"

As cryptic as it is, a feeling of dread washes over me because I know this has something to do with me.

"Rose, what did you do?"

A throat clearing interrupts us. It's mom, and she's standing with her cell phone outstretched to me. "Edward honey, it's your father."

I look between Rose and the phone. She's on the verge of tears and my heart is beating so hard in my chest, I feel sick. Putting the phone up to my ear I croak out, "Hey dad. Are the girls ready?"

"Hey son. I tried calling your phone." He sounds a lot like me.

"Yeah, um I forgot it upstairs. What's going on?"

"I need you to come to the hospital."

"What happened?"

"…It's Bella."

I feel woozy and I have to sit down. "What's wrong?"

"We'll talk when you get here."

My hands tremble as I disconnect from my father. My breathing becomes frantic and panic rises up in me, threatening to tear me apart. This can't happen again…I can't lose anyone else. I drop my face into my hands and try to calm myself.

"Edward, honey…What happened?" Mom embraces me, her worry doubled after seeing my reaction.

"Something…happened to Bella. Dad wants me to come up to the hospital now." I shudder just thinking about it. They told me she was fine before I left… I should never have left.

"We're going with you." Alice says.

"Good, because I don't think I can drive there by myself."

Somewhere in my brain, the rational side, screams at me not to panic. I wish for a moment that I wasn't riding in the car; that I wasn't on my way to the hospital for what could be the news that will break me in half. So many things ran through my mind, and none of them were happy thoughts. My future depends on what I find when I get there.

I couldn't shut my mind off fast enough as mom pulls into an empty parking space—I'm out of the car and hurrying into the hospital like a mad man. I curse the elevator because it's running too slow. When I finally get to the fourth floor my fear triples when I see both my father and Dr. Cope in what seems like a heated discussion.

My stomach clenches. "Dad?"

"Son," Dad took me into his arms. I knew it was something horrible then. "Try to calm down."

"Just give it to me straight, please." I take several deep breaths to prepare myself for the worst.

"…This morning a nurse went in to check on Bella. She wasn't there."

"What do you mean?"

"It's like she vanished into thin air. No one saw her leave." Dr. Cope says.

"You think she just ran? What if someone took her?" As I say it I know it's not true. Bella would never let someone take her against her will without making a scene. Believe me, I know.

"There's no sign of struggle in her room. Her bag is gone."

Everything hits me like a ton of bricks. She did this on purpose…No she wouldn't leave me like this?

"Son, Children and Family Services have been called. Because Bella left she has automatically relinquished her rights. They'll be taking the baby into their custody."

"What? No! I want her dad!"

"I don't know if that's an option son. These kinds of things are tricky."

"She's mine. She belongs with me." I say with conviction. I want this whole fucking hospital to know how much I love that little girl, and how hard I will fight for her.

"Can you do this, son? This won't be easy."

"I don't expect it to. All I know is that I'm Claire's father no matter what, and I won't let them take her away from me."

Dad regards the finality in my tone and can only nod. "If that's what you want we'll get everything figured out."

Every cloud has a silver lining. I thought my love for Bella was enough to make her stay with me…Now look what she's done. She's just caused more anguish.

Did I not mean anything to her?

Did we, my family, her baby, not mean anything?

I collapse into a chair in the waiting room. My mother, sister, and sister-in-law are right there in an instant. "Where's Bella?" Mom asks.

"She's gone."

"Gone where?"

"Gone as in she's not coming back."

I listen to their tears and worry….Breaking my heart piece by piece.

"We have to find her Edward. She belongs here with us. She can't take care of herself-"

"...She made her decision."

It's over.


A/N: If I still have any readers I want to say thank you for sticking with this. I do still have a little writers block with this story but I'm pushing through it. Let me know what you think.

I'll see you guys next time…