Sam and Artie felt like shit throughout that whole wedding. Not only was their respectful dates being annoying as hell but their girlfriends well ex girlfriends was looking fine as hell and ignoring them at the same time. Only thing they wanted was to get their girls back and be happy but they had to be dumbasses and mess it up.
Even if Sam wasn't with Mercedes he shouldn't have dated Rachel knowing the relationship her and Mercedes had. On occasions they got along and was the best of friends. On other occasions they couldn't stand each other and was at each other's throat. He didn't think she would just ignore him everytime she came back to Ohio but he understood why he made a dumbass decision even though it's not his fault.
Ever since Artie seen Kitty on the football field he knew he fucked up. He didn't mean to sleep with all them girls and get a std but they seen him for him and not the dorky guy in the wheelchair. He made a stupid decision that caused girls to look at him funny and caused him his friendship with Kitty.
They got even more annoyed when Kurt and Blaine decided to join in on the fun and get married. They was focused on one thing and one thing only getting their girls back once and for all. They needed to whoo them though and make them realize that they are sorry and won't hurt them again. After the wedding Sam pulled Artie to the side to talk about what they can do to get Kitty and Mercedes back.
"Man we should be heading to that reception tearing the dance floor up. Why are we in the back of the church and what do you want?"
"One you know I can't dance so you be on that dance floor by yourself. Two our girls are here and not saying a damn thing to us and on top of that looking gorgeous and having other guys look at them. I don't like that at all so we need to come up with a plan."
"What you suggest we do idiot? Kitty won't accept any of the gifts I give her she throws them away. I remember buying her favorite candy and leaving it in her locker with a cute note. She ripped the note up and set it on fire and took the candy and shoved it down somebody's throat. Do you really think she would want anything from me?" Sam tucks in his lips to contain the laughter that's bubbling inside of him but contains himself.
"I know what you mean everytime Mercedes comes back she just looks at me with hatred and just rolls her eyes. Even when I try to talk to her she pretends to be on the phone and walks always..." Artie interrupts Sam with what he feels is an important question.
"Did you look at her ass when she walked away?"
"Why are you looking at my girls ass? Don't have me whoop your ass in this church for looking at her ass!" Sam glares at Artie when Artie starts to laugh.
"Sam listen I am a man and I know when a female is blessed in certain departments and I was looking at her ass even before you came! Don't get mad because you didn't notice it when you first came."
"Shouldn't you be looking at your own girls assets instead of mines?
"I look at hers to but we not here to talk about our girls and their body parts. You wanted to come up with a plan to get them back so I'm waiting to hear this bright idea." Sam just rolls his eyes and clicks his tongue a sign he's clearly agitated.
"Well chocolate and flowers are out of the question they probably throw it out. Mr. Schue said the best way to get our feelings out is through song..."
"What does Mr. Schue know? His first marriage ended in divorce, he was pining after Emma when she was married, and let's not forget she left him at the altar. But since we aren't him and are better looking and can sing I think serenading them is a good idea. What song do you have in mind to get them back?"
"Classic by MKTO it's upbeat and it get the people up and we can go to Mercedes and Kitty while we singing. Plus it gives you a chance to show off your rapping skills and it gives me a chance to do my body roll." Artie rolls his eyes when his friend mentions doing his cringeworthy body roll.
"Listen Sam we trying to get our girls back so I would appreciate if you don't do the body roll. I like that song choice though it gives me a chance to bounce around and have fun. Just follow the dance moves I come up with and don't mess up. First we gotta talk to Santana and Brittany to see if we can perform this song but I think they let us they suckers for love." Sam and Artie make their way to the reception and talk to Brittana about their plan of course Santana gave them a tongue lashing about their stupidity and how Mercedes and Kitty could do better then them. After the tongue lashing Santana gives them permission to perform their song and promised them if they don't do right by her friends she cut their balls off and feed it to them.
Artie and Sam rehearse the song and the dance moves to go along with it. Of course Sam had two left feet and screwed up the dance moves. Artie was getting upset with the blonde but he held it in cause in the end the reward will be greater. They rehearsed for a few more minutes and when they was satisfied with what they did they went out and sat with the rest of the guests at the reception. They was waiting on the perfect opportunity to go and perform their song and when they seen Blaine was about to ruin a song they got up and went to the stage.
After arguing with Blaine for 30 minutes about why their song was more important then his Blaine finally got off the stage with a pout. Sam and Artie looked at the sea of people at the reception but paid them no mind. They was looking for two important people who had their hearts and they needed this to go really good. Sam sees Mercedes take her seat next to Kurt and Artie sees Kitty sit next to Mason and where they are seated is absolutely perfect. They was extremely nervous about this it could either blow up in their faces or they could be walking away with their girls.
Plugging up his phone Sam turned to the instrumental version and mentally counted to ten before he stepped to the mic. Looking straight at Mercedes he begin to sing.
Sam
Ooh girl you're shining
Like a 5th avenue diamond
And they don't make you like they used to
You're never going out of style
Ooh pretty baby
This world might've gone crazy
The way you save me
Who can blame me
When I just wanna make you smile?
Surprising Artie and some of his old gleemates Sam hit all the dance moves correctly. He winks at Mercedes when he sees she's smiling at him finally getting the dance steps right.
Sam
I wanna thrill you like Michael
I wanna kiss you like Prince
Let's get it on like Marvin Gaye
Like Hathaway
Write a song for you like this
They make their way out to the crowd and go straight to Kitty and Mercedes to sing the chorus. Sam lifts Mercedes chin up when she looks down and puts his famous lopsided smile on his face when she touches his hand. Kitty had her stank face on but Artie knew her well enough to know that she was enjoying the performance. He winks and blows her a kiss when he sees her red face looking at him.
Sam and Artie
You're over my head
I'm out of my mind
Thinking I was born in the wrong time
One of a kind, living in a world gone plastic
Baby you're so classic
Baby you're so classic
Baby you,
Baby you're so classic
The guests was bopping and dancing in their seats to Sam and Artie. Santana was looking on at them like a proud mama and looked over at Brittany and winked. Blaine was sitting in his seat upset because he felt Sam and Artie was taking his spotlight. Rachel was upset that Sam wasn't singing to her and singing to his ex girlfriend. They was dating and she felt he was obligated to sing her a song after all she was the love of his life. Paying no attention to the rest of the guest Artie pulls Kitty into his lap while he sings the other part.
Sam
Four dozen of roses
Anything for you to notice
All the way to serenade you
Doing it Sinatra style
Ima pick you up in a Cadillac
Like a gentleman bringin' glamour back
Keep it reel to reel in the way I feel
I could walk you down the aisle
Mercedes shook her head when Sam tried to get her to dance with him when the chorus part came on. He gave her his puppy dog eyes and pouted a little bit until she gave in. Taking her small hand in his Sam put the microphone down and turned Mercedes around until her back was to his front. They moved in rhythm to the beat while the rest of the wedding guests got up to dance with them and enjoy themselves. Artie was rolling around with Kitty in his lap dancing around in his seat. He was getting ready to do the rap part when Kitty kissed him on the lips he was so caught up that Kitty kissed him that he almost forgot he had to rap until Sam tapped him.
Artie
Baby you're class and baby you're sick
I never met a girl like you ever til we met
A star in the 40s, centrefold in the 50s
Got me tripping out like the sixties
Hippies Queen of the discotheque
A 70s dream and an 80s best
Hepburn, Beyoncé, Marilyn, Massive
Girl you're timeless, just so classic
Sam and Artie finish singing the rest of the song with the help of the brides and the guests. After the performance everybody claps and cheers Artie and Sam on until Blaine interrupts them for his song. Mercedes removes herself from Sam's arms and walks out the reception hall as fast as she could. Sam watches Mercedes walk off thinking he really fucked up this time and hangs his head down in shame. He's feeling really down until Santana whispers in his ear to grow a pair and fight for his girl and hears Blaine sing I'm not gonna teach your boyfriend how to dance. Leaving the hall he looks for Mercedes all over the church and was about to give up when he hears laughing coming from the outside. When he reaches the outside area he sees her on the phone laughing and he becomes heartbroken because he wanted to be the one to make her laugh. He straightens up when she hangs up the phone and looks up at him he clears his throat and blinks a few times before speaking.
"Uhm did you enjoy the performance? It was dedicated to you?"
"I know it was cute I just don't understand why you would dedicate it to me when your girlfriend is in there?"
"Well I wasn't thinking about her I was thinking about you. I realize that what I did was wrong on so many levels. I didn't know you would find out about it so quickly and I thought..." Before he could finish his thought Rachel came out with Santana right behind her and Mercedes just shook her head not wanting to deal with drama.
"Sam why you out here talking to Mercedes when you should be inside dancing with your girlfriend!" Rachel puts the emphasis on girlfriend just in case Mercedes got any ideas that she was gonna take Sam back. Santana rolls her eyes and steps up to take a stand besides Mercedes.
"Hush it hobbit! You know Sam is in love with Mercedes so why would you even date him? Your suppose to be Mercedes friend and you go and date the guy she's in love with be with! That's lowdown and dirty Rachel even for you."
"Why wouldn't I date Sam I mean we are Will and Emma 2.0. Mercedes really isn't the dating type I mean she couldn't even handle a fake relationship with Puck..." Sam interrupts Rachel before he ended up doing something he regretted.
"First of all check how you talk to my girl. Second of all we are not Will and Emma 2.0 they actually care about each other! Third of all Will didn't have to be hypnotized to become attracted to Emma like I had to be hypnotized to be attracted to you..."
"Let's not forget you kissed me and asked me out. So don't try to play yourself Sam as I said Mercedes really isn't the dating type. She wouldn't even have sex with you how is she even girlfriend material? Matter of fact how did you even fall in love with her? Mercedes really didn't want to hear anymore so she stepped around Santana so she could go back inside the church before Sam stopped her.
"Where you going?"
"I gotta go pack I'm going back to L.A. tonight I just came back to support the girls. I see you and Brit in L.A. Tana have fun on your honeymoon and congratulations Sam and Rachel."
"Your not leaving Mercedes just because Rachel wants to be a grade a bitch means nothing. This is my wedding and if I have to beat her ass on my wedding day in my wedding dress I have no problem doing it.
"Oh please Santana..." Sam fed up with Rachel and her nonsense interrupts her.
"Rachel please shut the hell up! Matter of fact I want to break up with you. I don't want you I don't like you and I'm damn sure not falling in love with your selfish ass. So this is over and you gonna talk to Mercedes with respect I'm tired of you disrespecting her thinking its okay." Mercedes was shocked that he broke up with Rachel in front of her and Santana but kept quiet.
"Are you kidding me Sam?" Santana smirks as she walks pass Sam and leads a stunned Rachel back into the church leaving Sam and Mercedes alone to figure out what the hell they was gonna do.
"Uhm you didn't have to break up with her because of me."
"I didn't do it because of you. I did it for you. I did it for us. I did it because I miss you. I miss when you would come home from the studio and cuddle with me on the couch. I miss eating lucky charms at all times of the day with you and most of all I miss talking to you." The tension was thick and Mercedes didn't know what to say or how to say it so she just kept quiet and shifted her feet back and forth.
"Sam I... I appreciate what you just said and I miss all the moments we had to but that doesn't change the fact this is the second time you dated somebody who was suppose to be my "friend." It doesn't change the fact that this is the second time..." Mercedes speech is cut off when Sam kisses her for the first time in 6 months she fights it off at first but soon reciprocates it. The kiss ends and they look at each other Mercedes blushes while Sam puts his famous smile on his face.
"I love you Mercedes and I will not hurt you again because we not breaking up! Just give me another chance please? I learned how to cook and we can..."
"I love you to Sam and I'm willing to give you another chance and how you know we not gonna break up?"
"Cause I know just trust me on this. Come on let's go back to the reception and show these guests the true meaning of dancing." Mercedes giggles and shakes her head knowing her boyfriend can't dance but he has fun.
Meanwhile in the Reception Hall
Artie was on cloud nine with Kitty sitting in his lap and dancing with him. He doesn't know how to approach he with giving him another chance but sucks it up and rolls them inside the church. Kitty looks funny when Artie does this but doesn't say anything.
"Kitty I never told you about what happened in New York." Kitty rolls her eyes and gets off his lap sitting on one of the pews.
"There's nothing to really tell you went to New York, slept with a bunch of girls, got a std, and forgot about me. Pretty self explanatory if you ask me."
"Okay but that's not true I didn't forget about you. What happened in New York was a accident I forgot who I was and I was so happy that girls wasn't seeing me as the dorky kid in the wheelchair. I'm not trying to excuse me actions..."
"So I seen you as the dorky kid in the wheelchair?!"
"I'm not saying that Kitty I'm saying that when we first met you seen me as the dorky kid in the wheelchair. You insulted me everyday until it was almost time for me to graduate. Those girls didn't insult me or anything they seen me for me and it was refreshing."
"I insult everybody Artie..."
"Yea but then you started to have feelings for me! Where as I always had feelings for you and always wanted to ask you out." Artie was becoming frustrated with this whole thing and just wanted to move on but until he got everything out. "You confuse me Kitty, one minute you hate me and insult me the next you willing to be my girlfriend."
"Why did you bring me in here Artie? To get back at me for all the horrible nicknames I called you? To say that you just want to be friends..."
"I brought you in here to tell you I love you and I realized that when I was in New York being stupid. I'm in love with the head cheerleader who used to insult me everyday and to be honest it's quite scary."
"Your in love with me?"
"Yes I am and I'm so sorry for hurting you when I was in New York that wasn't my plan at all. My plan was to..."
"I love you to Artie and I'm sorry if me doing what I did confused you. It wasn't my intentions at all."
"Do you wanna be my girl again?"
"Are you gonna make me regret it again?"
"Nope I'm keep that pretty smile on that face of yours." Kitty sits in Artie's lap and they head back into the reception hall. When they reached the reception hall Artie sees Mercedes with her back to Sam's front and his arms wrapped around her waist moving to the slow song that was playing. Artie and Sam make eye contact and wink at each other happy that their plan worked and they got their girls back.
Excuse any grammar and spelling mistakes. Enjoy or don't.
