Okay I'm back as I've stated on Nothing in Life is Free. However this chapter is short as I am warming up to the writing process again. I'm sorry guys. I promised an update by today and so I will update however its not super long.


Can you tell me how you feel now that she's moved in?" Dr. Schwartz writes in her pad as she questions Nevaeh on our new living arrangements. It's been three days since Ana's moved in and it hasn't been smooth sailing. It's amazing how much can change in the matter of hours.

"I feel sad." I frown as I hear this. Never would I have allowed Ana and I to take the next step if I thought that it would hurt my child in any way. It was Nevaeh who had given me the okay to ask. Dealing with any child, but especially one like Nevaeh it was critical to get their opinion on your significant other. Many times step parents ended up doing more damage than good.

"Why is that dear?"

"Because I don't want daddy to forget me. I love Ana but when they get married they're going to have their own family." Nevaeh's blue eyes search mine and I feel saddened by her admission. How could such a thing even be possible to her? There was no way I could ever replace Nevaeh in my life. She had her own special spot in my heart.

"If they have a family, sweetheart you would be a part of that family. Your daddy loves you very much. Isn't that so Mr. Grey?" I look at our therapist before turning towards my daughter.

"Nevaeh, I would never ever replace you or forget you. Sweetheart, I love Ana and yes, if we get married, we would be a family, but you would be our daughter and you will always be daddy's little girl." I tell her earnestly. There weren't many things that could hurt me but my daughter thinking I could ever live a life without her was one.

"But," Nevaeh starts but stops and shakes her head. I sigh and scratch the back of my neck in frustration. Frustration because this was all my doing. I should have known that it was too soon. That everything was moving too fast, especially for a young girl like Nevaeh. I was so caught up in my own life that I didn't stop to think how this could negatively affect her. I was stuck on all the positives and I was a fool.

"But what Nevaeh?" Dr. Schwartz urges.

"But what happens when you have a baby with Ana?"

"Then you will be a big sister." I say slowly thinking about what she could be leading to.

"But then you would have a real son or daughter and I won't be important anymore." Nevaeh sobs into her small hands and I frown at her words. A real son or daughter? There was nothing more real than what we had. Any child that came later on would be loved and cared for just as she was.

"Are you afraid that because Christian isn't your biological father that he would love his children with Ana more?" My eyes widen as Dr. Schwartz addresses Nevaeh. Could she really be thinking that? Apparently, she could.

Yes, daddy will forget me because these babies will be his real babies and I'm adopted. Then you won't love me anymore daddy." I shake my head and gently take Nevaeh's hands in my own.

"No, that's not true angel." I say firmly, "I will never ever love you any less. If Ana and I have kids you will be their sister and I will love them just as much as I love you. You will always be my angel Nevaeh. I love you so much and just because you're adopted doesn't mean that I will love you any less than any other child that may come into my life."

Nevaeh stares as she bites her bottom lip in worry and I smile softly. That was a habit she had picked up from watching Ana over the time we have been together. It was cute to see her picking up mannerisms. I knew she loved Ana and I knew after tonight that she was worried about being forgotten. Little did she know that would and could not happen.

"Really? Are you sure?"

"Of course, I'm adopted and I have three other siblings. My parents love us all. Biological or not Nevaeh you are my child."

"He's right, dear. No matter what, Christian is your father and I can tell that he loves you very much and from what I hear so does Ana. I think you need to give her a shot, what do you think?" Nevaeh looks at me before shaking her head vigorously. I lean back in my chair, feeling helpless. It was clear from this session that Nevaeh wasn't ready to work with us and I had no choice but to give her time.

"Alright Nevaeh its play time. Why don't you head back there while I talk to your father for a bit." Dr. Schwartz sends Nevaeh on her way before focusing her attention on me. I resist the urge to squirm at her penetrating gaze. It was hard to be the subject of scrutiny, especially with an individual trained to read your every move. I knew when I adopted Nevaeh it was going to be difficult, but I had not put into account how difficult it could be adding a woman to the mix.

"What should I do?" I finally break the silence and meet her eyes feeling helpless. It wasn't like I could just start over from scratch what's done is done and I had to find a way to make it work.

"Mr. Grey how do you feel about your current situation?" Her question catches me off guard since I wasn't really thinking about how I felt but more about how my child felt. Was it time for me to put my opinion into the equation as well? I wasn't sure. It's hard trying to do right by a child in need of constant reassurance and still remember yourself in the end.

"I hadn't really put much thought into it. I mean I'm happy to have Ana with me." I hesitate as I turn to the back of the room. That little girl right there was the reason why I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure how to answer not because I didn't know what my answer was but more so was it the right answer? Was there even a right or wrong answer?

"But?" Dr. Schwartz presses before setting her book down," Look, there's no right or wrong answer Christian. It's okay for you to live your life freely even with Neveah in the picture." She gives me a pointed look and I send her a sheepish smile.

"I understand Dr., but it's hard. How do I know when I'm doing more damage than good?"

"You're a parent now. You will make mistakes and you need to understand that you are not perfect. Also, you can't stop living life the way you want just because you're worried about Nevaeh. She will be fine, she just needs to adjust. You are an amazing father Mr. Grey that much is obvious."

I feel my face flush at her words and I can't help but smile. Being a father had to be the hardest thing I ever have had to do and the fact that I was seen as a great one was more than gratifying.

"Thank you I'll try to keep that in mind. I guess we should just let her adjust and hope for the best."

"Exactly, I'm sure everything will work out in the end. Just remember she's not ready to share her daddy yet. Maybe take one night a week where it's just you two and ease her into this new situation." I nod my head in thanks as I looked at the time. Already it was the end of our session. Standing I bid her goodbye as I slide my jacket on. Taking Nevaeh's in my hand, I walk over to her.

"Come on angel time to go." I hold her jacket out as she rushes to my side. This session gave me a lot to think about. I needed to find a healthy balance in my life.


I settle onto the couch with Ana as Nevaeh plays in her room with Sophie. She's been here three days and they've gotten along way better than I could have hoped for. It was weird seeing Taylor in a father role. We were very different in our ways. He was a loving father anyone could tell, but he was strict and from what Ana tells me that's common with military fathers.

"So how did your session go?" Ana snuggles up to me as I hand her a glass of wine.

"It was okay. You know she told me Nevaeh needs to adjust and that eventually she'll be okay with this, but right now it's hard." I shrug my shoulders in indifference even though I was feeling anything but.

"I can understand that. It just hurts me to see her hurting." I smile as I look into her eyes. That is the one thing I love most about her. Her heart was always in the right place and I knew from experience how hard that was.

"I love you." I whisper as I peck her soft lips. She smiles and runs her hands through my hair. I can't help but sigh in contentment as I lay back against the couch. Staring at the woman in my arms and knowing that my daughter is safe and healthy in her room makes me realize just how blessed I am. It was more than I could have asked for and it was more than I could have hoped for.

"I love you too Christian, but," She bites her lip before sitting up and I frown at her apprehensively.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing! Nothing at all but, I was wondering how you would feel if you left Nevaeh with me tomorrow and maybe you could ask Taylor if Sophie could join us?" She mumbles as she looks at me and I can't help but laugh. I see her face change from unsure to upset and I sit up quickly grabbing her hands.

"Babe if you want to spend the day with Nevaeh I'm all for it. I love that you want to try to build a relationship with her. So go for it just keep me informed." I tell her honestly. Trusting her with my daughter was a big step for me. She knew how much of a step it was for me and I was okay with it only because I did trust her completely.

"Really?" She smiles at me.

"Really, now lets go check on the girls and then head to bed." I laugh as she hops on my lap. She cups my face, placing feather light kisses across my jaw line. I smile, squeezing her sides before standing up with her legs wrapped around my waist.

"Thank you." She whispers in my ear, throwing her arms around my neck. I hold her close before setting her down.

"Let's go check on the girls." I take her hand in my mine and walk towards our future. This was what it was all about. Finding a way to still be us and also be parents to a five year old child. I know I love Nevaeh and I know that I love Ana. Now it was time for my two girls to establish a bond between each other.


APOV

"Okay, I'll count to ten and you'll hide!" Sophie's excited voice filters in from the living room as I enjoy a much needed coffee break with Gail.

"They are absolutely loving each others company." Gail chuckles as she reaches for more sugar. I can understand her gesture because for the past five hours we've been running around non stop after our two little girls. Sophie has got to be the most well mannered child I've met. It was hard to believe she was only six years old. Of course they've had their little fights here and there, but nothing more than "who gets what toy first."

I was happy to see Nevaeh enjoying the company of someone her age. Mentally it would do her no good if she didn't learn how to socialize more. I knew it was hard for her. When Christian left this morning it was hard. She didn't even want to come out of her room for me. From what Chrsitian and I spoke about I knew she was trying to distance herself from me.

"I know I'm so happy for them. Taylor should really bring Sophie around more." I tell her honestly. Taylor must miss his daughter, especially when he worked so much for Christian.

"He would love to but you have to understand before Nevaeh came around Christian wasn't the man he is now." Gail pauses slightly turning her head in thought.

"Well, he was always a kind man. He did go above and beyond for his staff, but he was so reserved and cold on the outside. He never let anyone in not even his family. So, it wasn't the best place for a child." Gail smiles sadly no doubt thinking about the man she grew to love as a son. I can't even imagine Christian being that cold shell of a person, but obviously Nevaeh brought some type of light into his life.

"I wonder what about being a father brought him out of it." I muse out loud.

"It wasn't so much being a father, I think. It was probably more about seeing his four year old self inside of that little girl over there." Gail looks towards the living room and I can't help but stare as well.

"What do you know about Mr. Grey's childhood Ana?" Gail cautiously looks over at me and I swallow the emotion I feel in my throat. Christian had told me about his birth mother. It broke my heart to see the pain that was still residing inside of him. Granted, he was healing, but when he spoke of it, it was like opening the wound all over again.

"He told me about his birth mom and how they used to hurt him," I clear my throat and shake my head trying to hold back my tears. "It's horrible."

"That it is but you see that little girl over there? She's been through worse. It's not my place Ana but I know for a fact that Nevaeh saved that man." Gail's eyes gloss over as she looks at me. My hands tremble as I bring my mug to my lips. The steam from it slightly burns my face, but I can't seem to care. Gail was right, there was a relationship between Christian and his daughter that I would never understand. No matter how much I loved him or how long I stood by him I could never understand his pain or Nevaeh's. And I could honestly say I didn't want to. Parents were so supposed to love and cherish their kids. Abuse was an epidemic that shouldn't have been allowed to manifest in the first place.

"I'm glad she did." I murmur as I take a sip.

"Me too Ana, me too." Gail sighs before standing up and placing her mug in the sink. My eyes follow her as she walks out of the room. Placing my mug on the counter I stare at nothing in particular trying to understand the family I have been graced into. Was there more than I could handle here? No, I didn't think so. Sure, it would be hard. There was, after all, a lot of baggage coming from both Christian and Nevaeh but, I could be there for them. I could love them and cherish their every moment with me. I knew given the chance I could even be the mother figure that Nevaeh so desperately craved.

Standing up I set my mug into the sink as well and head into the living room.

"I found you!" Sophie screams as she jumps behind the couch laughing at Nevaeh's silent form.

"Oh man!" Nevaeh pouts and I can't help but chuckle at the simplicity of the scene before me. Hide and seek was the holy grail to these kids right now. Losing a game was like failing in life's greatest task at this age. I remember being so competitive at that age that even losing a game of tag was enough to bring me to tears.

"Hey, how about we head to the park girls! What do you say?" I look towards Gail, who gives me the silent okay to take Sophie and I smile in thanks.

"Yeah!" They yell simultaneously. Laughing I help them into their jackets before grabbing each of their hands and heading out the door. I smirk as I turn around to Sawyer heading out with us. Of course, how could I forget the security detail, we've been assigned. Apparently Nevaeh had one 24/7.

"Hey Sawyer! You gunna get some Ice Cream with us?" Nevaeh asks, smiling shyly at her bodyguard. Sawyer looks down at her as we step into the elevator and smiles softly.

"Of Course!" He was really great with Nevaeh. From what I could tell she had a hard time warming up to him, but that didn't stop him from trying and he did succeed. Although I still had to wonder how much security a girl needed when she was homeschooled everyday. Christian, however, insisted that it wasn't optional. I guess I could understand where he was coming from since he was a high profile man.

"Alright Sawyer, the park first, that's where we're going." I say as we step off the elevator. He smiles and helps the girls into the car before getting into his own. That was the one thing I was able to get Chrsitian to do, which was let me drive my own car. Sawyer followed behind us in the standard back Escalade that all of Christian's security seemed to have.

The drive to the park proved to be a simple task. Considering it was only ten minutes away it wasn't much of a hassle, but I wasn't sure what to expect with two children in the back seat.

Pulling into a parking space I jump out the car, but Sawyer's already somehow opening the door to the back seat. I never knew how that man seemed to everywhere and nowhere at the same time. It was unnerving at times.

"Okay Stay where I can see you!" I yell after the two little girls as they sprint towards the swing set. Sighing deeply I take a seat on the bench and see Sawyer hovering by the kids. Laughing I shake my head, watching the three of them from my spot. I should have known Sawyer would be right there with them. It was weird for me to play the step mom role. Even now, should I be over there with the girls? Was that the responsible thing to do? Was I being neglectful by sitting on the bench and watching them play from afar? This was all so new and confusing to me.

Laughter fills the air and I look around to see a group of kids on the slides. I smile as I see their faces shine in the sunlight and it has to be the greatest sight to behold. There was nothing like a child who was happy. There was nothing that could warm a compassionate heart more than a child who was carefree and dauntless.

"Ah!" Sophie's loud screech breaks my reverie and I turn to see Sawyer cradling her limp form. Rushing to my feet I sprint over to the swing set.

"What happened?! Where's Nevaeh?" I look around frantically as I spot her hiding beneath the slide. I frown as I look between her and Sophie. As I take a good look at Sophie I inhale sharply. Her right hand was bent at a painful angle. Sawyers strained gaze meets mine and he's the first one to break the stunned silence I'm in.

"I'll take her to the hospital Miss Steele you need to take Nevaeh home. I tried to stop her in time, but I was too late. I have a feeling she might be in some trouble when Mr. Grey comes home." Sawyer's gaze looks behind me and I nod my head before rushing to Nevaeh's side.

"Okay princess tell me what happened?" I kneel in front of her taking her all hands into mine. She bites her lips and stares at Sawyer carrying Sophie to his car. I gently turn her face towards me urging her to answer my question.

"I pushed her off the swing and I stepped on her hand." Nevaeh whispers looking at the ground. I sit back on my heels stunned yet again. What could have possibly happened for Nevaeh to act out so violently? That wasn't like her at all.

"Why? You know that's not nice Nevaeh. She's really hurt sweetheart." I say as I push her hair away from her face. She throws her arms around my neck sobbing into my shoulder. I sigh and stand up with her in my arms. Walking towards the car I wonder what the hell Christian is going to say once we get the whole story.


Here it is. Next chapter will be MORE Sophie and Nevaeh!( They still like each other no worries lol) Also let's remember Nevaeh is going through a lot and she will act out. She did something very bad here and now poor little Sophie is hurt. Navaeh is usually so sweet right? Unfortunately kids are not nice/good 100% of the time as we all know. LOL So how do we think Daddy Christian will handle this? Remember this is like the first time our little girl is in ACTUAL trouble trouble scary stuff for a new dad. Please Review. I hope you enjoyed.