hmm. reviews? yes? :D reviews=faster updates. :D eh? eh?

ha. okay. seriously. R&R, please. you've been doing awesome so far, but i'm SERIOUSLY getting lots of alerts telling me people have favoriteted (Sp?) that i've never even heard of...but thanks for favoriting it. :D

anyways...review for more. :D this chapter is very important, fun, cute, and then, it's just funny. it gets better later on in the series, though, when she lets Edward loose...

you'll see.

oh. this song? yes. it's off Demi Lovato's new album. i wasn't a huge fan of hers before. i mean, i kinda liked a couple of her songs, i guess, but i wasn't a huge fan. i'm a pretty huge fan of a big portion of her songs that i'm hearing now, a lot of which are new. like this chapter's song, for example? :)


31. Give Your Heart a Break: Demi Lovato


It wasn't time to get out for Christmas yet, but, after the party, I sorta crashed at my other house. Charlie did too, and I knew Bella was not happy when she woke up the next morning. It just sorta happened, though.

At any rate, it didn't matter. If Edward and I were gonna have sex, we would've done it by now. Charlie probably would've let us too, but we weren't. We were remaining abstinent, not that Emmett was helping this decision at all.

It was, once again, nice waking up to Edward. This time, I woke up in a different setting, but he was still there.

He always would be. I no longer doubted that.

It was another early morning awakening, and we were alone. Charlie had left right before I woke up, and the rest of his family members were off at their separate houses.

I couldn't wait until we had to go out and buy a house of our own. That's gonna be incredible.

He looked a little upset, uneasy even. I knew it was only a slight thing, because behind the thin layer of pain was a thick and permanent loving and blissful emerald orb.

It was enough pain, though, that I couldn't be sure it was just him getting upset at himself for leaving, so I asked, "What is it, baby?"

He hesitated, mostly because he loved it when I called him that.

"Can you tell me something?" he murmured. "I-I have to know, Mayzie. This whole mess I created . . . it's not something I can just get over. I have to know what it was like for you so I can get over my mistakes and start working on fixing someone else's—permanently."

I was confused what he meant, but I focused in on the first part. "What do you want me to tell you?"

"How can you still love me?" he asked softly. "I know I've asked this a million times, but I just can't grasp it."

"It's those million and seventy-four reasons to not love you that make the one reason you started loving them to begin with all that more important. The first reason shines so brightly that you can't see anything but that reason and the other reasons decorating it like a beautiful cake. Now, whether this is a good or bad thing is up to you, my love. I just know that I can't ever stop loving you, even if you truly stopped loving me."

"Another question," he continued on. "What was it like getting through the day?"

"I was hoping for a single moment where it wouldn't feel like the universe was about to crush me and my heart wasn't about to explode," I answered honestly because there was no point in hiding it. "I wanted to see you, have you in the same room as me. I would've kissed you and told you that I loved you. Then, I would've asked you to never go."

His eyes fell to the ground. "What was it like waking up the first morning after I was gone, after he . . . ?" He began growling because he simply couldn't think about it without getting pissed beyond belief.

I could tell his question, though, so I decided to try and distracted him. "It was the happiest day of my life—the day you told me you love me, that is. It was a crazy, wild day, but it was the best. The saddest day of my life was the day I woke up and realized it wasn't just a dream. You were as real as everything, and I was really raped. Nothing was fake, and you really weren't there to help me get through it anymore."

He looked like he might cry if he could. "Mayze, I'm so s—"

"Edward, stop it," I said firmly. "This talk is for the purpose of helping you get over this only. I don't wanna hear anything else, though. Stop beating yourself up. Like I said, it's the past, so please just move on."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Tell me something you want."

The way he said that . . . it was obvious what he was saying. He wasn't trying to buy my affections because he already had them.

He was changing the subject to something he wanted to talk about, something that might begin helping him feel the slightest bit better about everything. It would help him stop thinking painful thoughts, and he would be able to forgive himself.

It wasn't something I was quite ready to answer yet, so I hesitated and just picked something—something he needed to know.

"All I want is someone who will stay with me, no matter how hard it is to be there."

In just the blink of a sleepy eye, I was in Edward's arm, and his face was buried in my neck, holding me as tenderly as he could while squeezing me.

I think one of my ribs cracked, but I don't know.

Anyways, we stood like this for a bit while he held me. It was his way of saying, "I am never leaving you again," without using words.

"Mayze—"

"You asked, and I told you," I interrupted quickly. "I told you something that I want, yes, but it's also something I already have. Edward, you don't have to keep telling me you're never leaving me again, although I do love hearing it. I know that, though, and I trust you. I trust myself to know this. I already have what I want, though."

His shoulders fell a little, and very grimly, he sighed. "Mayze, I wish you would say something horrible. Tell me how bad I am and push me away. I wish you would get mad."

I didn't like this talk, and arguing it wouldn't help anything. So, instead, I put on a sultry smile he always seemed to love and stepped closer to him, allowing the curves of my body to line up perfectly with the contours of his.

"You've been very, very bad," I practically purred, and I slowly let my hand rub down his chest to the lining of his pants. I could hear him shuddering and feel the way his muscles tightened yearningly. A low breath slipped through his parted lips, and I felt myself getting excited, too. She was standing on the line between seeing how much more she could take and giving up—and I was she. Unfortunately for Edward, almost as quickly as my hand began getting somewhere that made him horny, it was gone, and I was smirking proudly up at him. "I'll save my anger for another night."

He was gawking at me. "Mayze!"

"Hey, you told me to tell you how bad you are and push you away," I reminded him, holding my hands up in defense. "I just followed orders."

Instantly, his eyes were narrowed, and he was pulling me up in his arms the very way I always used to pretend to hate. Now, though, I couldn't even pretend to anymore, and instead, I clung to him, almost desperately.

He was surprised, but he didn't set me down. The only adjustment he made was the way he moved me around in his arms only so that he could hug me and kiss the side of my face.

"You're not the same girl I stupidly left behind in June," he murmured lowly. "Different, but it's also to be expected—you finished growing up, after all. Most people don't do that until they're, well, older than you, but . . . you really didn't have a choice."

"That's why I'm not mad," I insisted. "Look, Edward, look at it this way—this whole mess. You left me. I was raped. If you hadn't left me, I wouldn't have finished growing up like I needed to do alone. You said so yourself. I needed incentive to do so, and if you were here, I wouldn't have had it."

He cringed. "If I were here . . . Blade wouldn't have touched you."

"You don't know that," I murmured. "You're not here all the time, ya know. Look, I'm starving." I pulled myself tighter against him, and it was enough to distract him. "Can you take me downstairs?"

It was the perfect distraction, because he loved this. He used to try and do it all the time when I was crippled, and yes, I was still crippled, but I never let him before now. Now, I wanted him to—requested it even.

He kissed my temple softly and nodded. "Of course, my love. What do you want to eat? We have . . . well, everything I knew you might possibly want at some point. I think there are more doughnuts."

I gasped quickly, and Edward began running full speed to the kitchen. When he did this, I lost all grasp of time, so I'll just say we were there very fast, and when we got there, he sat me gently at the bar set up in here before running over to the fridge, getting there almost instantaneously.

I blinked quickly. "Babe, that's one thing I'm not gonna miss."

He only briefly looked back so he could shoot me a questioning glance before turning back and looking through the multitude of food items in there. "What's that?"

"Not being able to see you move," I admitted sheepishly, grinning a little. "It's a strain on the eyes."

He looked back to me now, one eyebrow still cocked. "Would you like me to move at a normal speed?"

When he turned back to the fridge, he missed me rolling my eyes a little. I decided not to say anything, not yet, and with a sigh, I leaned back against my chair. "No, no. I'm starting to get used to it. It's kinda cool. I was just saying I won't miss it."

"Bacon, doughnuts, and Mountain Dew?" he guessed, and I gaped over at him.

With wide eyes and an eager smiled, I ran over to kiss his cheek quickly. "I think I just might marry you one day."

"I would hope so," he agreed, and the two of us began laughing as he turned the eye on and began the best morning full of cooking, eating, drinking, and, well, a mini food fight.

How do you start a food fight with doughnuts and bacon? Well, simple. It didn't involve doughnuts and bacon. It was flour, eggs, and the doughnut glaze.

Sticky, messy, and so much fun.


"Mayze, why do you never talk to me anymore?" Tyler demanded.

Not this again, I groaned, and beside me, I saw Edward's eyes tighten. So, I decided it was best for everyone's good to try and get Tyler off my case once and for all. "If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I'd fart."

They seemed surprised at the fact that I was a girl who said "fart," but it wasn't enough to turn him away. If anything, he seemed more interested, and it even caught Chase's attention.

I groaned softly and sank down a little in my seat. Edward, upon my request his first day back, bit it back, and I was starting to regret it.

If it gets bad again . . . I'll let the poor boy loose.

"Why don't you talk to me?" Chase tried.

"Because people like you are the reason we have middle fingers," I said simply. "I have no desire whatsoever to talk to you."

"Guys, she's stupid and ugly," Ashley interjected, once again butting into a conversation she didn't belong in. "Why do you even bother?"

I was sick of her, so I simply rolled my eyes. "Oh, hey, by the way, I found your fake nose. It was in my business again."

She gasped loudly and grabbed her nose. "The doctor said it didn't look fake at all!"

"Mmhmm," I said lightly, shrugging. "My point exactly."

Her eyes narrowed to the point they were almost closed, and she was making a strange snarl-like sound. "Elizabeth Swan, I hate you so very much."

"Hate me?" I snorted, but instead of letting her think I cared, I smirked over at her. "Wait here while I'm looking for a fuck to give."

Instead of coming up with a witty comeback—because she couldn't!—Ashley rolled her eyes at me and turned to the laughing Chase and Tyler. "So, I'm unavailable this weekend because I'm going to my college boyfriend's house for a romantic weekend." She looked over at Edward. "It's not too serious, though, Edward."

Chase and Tyler grew pale at the mention of his name because they realized in that instant that Edward had heard every word, and they took one look at him and knew he was anything but happy. They seemed to worry about their thoughts, too—maybe even subconsciously.

They all shifted away from him—the males anyways—whereas Ashley flirting shifted towards him, purposely leaning her chest down to try and show him what she didn't have.

I pulled her back away from him by her fake extensions, since she was right in front of me. "Too bad his is."

He looked over at me with a smug little smirk, and my eyes playfully narrowed. "Definitely not fair."

"It definitely is," I disagreed. "If it makes you feel any better, I'm about to say screw it."

His nose scrunched a little as he grinned over at me. "A little."