Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

A.N: Life fucking happened

XX Chapter 28 XX

Naruto opened the door to his house. The sounds of things crashing to the floor reached his ears and he sighed leaning against the door and didn't feel like moving.

He let his eyes survey the damage. Papers everywhere, he'd have to clean this before Travis came home. He closed the door behind him softly and made his way to where the sounds were coming from.

He looked in and found her there. Her hair was covering her face as she muttered, her hands going through a box of papers, the sounds of crashing had probably come from the boxes that lay scattered on the floor next to her.

She lifted her head suddenly and looked up at him with green eyes, a sweet smile crossing her lips as she looked up at him through a curtain of red hair. "Naruto." Her voice was soft but happy.

He crossed the room quickly and sat next to her, a smile making it's way up his face at her childishly happy smile. "Hello mother."

"Kyuubi." His mother reminded him. A flicker of some strange sadness in her eyes as she focused more of her attention on him than the papers around her. The sadness was replaced by some other emotion he couldn't identify. She smiled again but her eyes were hard. "I want you to call me Kyuubi, Naruto. I told you this already."

"Of course." Naruto said swallowing the lump that threatened to choke him. She smiled, pleased and continued with her shuffling. The room which had been light and happy was now filled with tension. It was suffocation, Naruto clenched his hands together. It had been like this since last week. Things were changing, maybe before he had even met Sasuke. He just hadn't taken the chance to notice, hadn't wanted to notice, but now he was and he could see. He didn't like what he saw.

His kind, beautiful mother…wasn't satisfied with what she had. She wanted so much more, which had rapidly become obvious. No longer was she satisfied with his submissions, his protection. She wanted so much more and had wanted it for some time, maybe since the very beginning, maybe always.

He didn't know what to do. She wanted him to give her everything. His life, his body, and…she wanted his l-love to be only for her. Everything. And she wanted nothing less than that.

His sweet mother, the one he had always cared for, wanted too much from him. He couldn't do it and it hurt to know it. He wanted to give her everything but he couldn't, couldn't simply couldn't, didn't want to, no anything but that please. And the stinging truth of it all was tearing him apart. She would find out one day and then…. he clenched his hands hard enough to bruise. He didn't want to think about how she'd react to the truth. Even now their always balanced relationship of mother and son, confidant and keeper, was deteriorating. It was fading and he couldn't stop it.

His clenched hands were met with soft hands and he looked up at his mother's cool concern. He smiled at her, the smile feeling fake but she smiled back all the same. Her hand was on his cheek, caressing (She might as well be scratching his face as long as he was concerned), and leaning forward with sparkling eyes pleading for more, for everything. When soft lips touched his, he pressed back, how could he deny her this when this was the only thing he could give her?, and shut his eyes feeling despair rush through his chest.

I'm sorry mother but I can't give you everything. I could never have given you everything. You were a fool to hope for anything more than what you already have. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Sorysorrysosorrysorry. I hope that one day you can forgive me but…it's too late to ask for forgiveness.

And I don't deserve it…I brought this onto myself with that promise I made to you all those years ago.

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A young eleven year old Naruto sat on the porch and watched with his hands clasped around his ears, as he tried to block out the screaming and the cries and the ever present. Naruto! Please help mommy Naruto. Naruto won't you help me? Naruto why, why won't you help your poor dear mother?

There was never a real call, his mother wasn't screaming for him… he knew that. At the age of twelve he was smart enough to know that but he couldn't stop imaging the words that accused him, that pleaded with him to do something. Anything. But he was terrified knowing the pain that came when he defied his father. Didn't want it directed at him. Was glad his fath-, not mustn't call him father, can't be father after all that happened hurtmesomuchcan'tbefather, Travis hated his mother so much because that meant he didn't pay so much attention to him anymore, was too busy hurting her. And the admission burned but the fear of the cold pain and hands in places where nooneshouldtouch was too fresh in his mind to ever hope to stand up and help like he knew he should.

So for now all he could do was blot the noises and stay hidden because Travis wasn't nice after he came with Tammy, smelling of liquor and eyes so wild it was like looking into the eyes of a predator who had killed and would kill again.

There was a slam of a door and there were voices coming down the hall. His breath hitched and he waited, not wanting to cry but feeling the tears well up anyway, tears that told the world what a coward he was. A soft sweet voice was talking to Travis and from the crack on the door he could see the pair of heels in a short tight skirt, legs decorated with fishnets. Then the footsteps were leading Travis away.(Tammy always led Travis away when she could. Always there.)

Naruto had slowly stood up not wanting to move too much or he'd jostle his hips and he could still feel the bruises and didn't want to chance anymore pain. He made his slow way down the stairs wincing every now and then but he was almost there. He didn't look around the room, he knew how'd it look after all the sounds he'd heard. He had spotted her red hair easily enough and had rushed down as she cradled her cheeks, hiding her face. His relief at her lasted only until he kneeled at her feet and gazed at her and then he froze. He could only stare as his twelve year old mind processed the image.

Tears were running down her face. And her face was all scrunched up as if to hold back the pain. Mother, pretty, fragile mother, who knew nothing of what his father did to him on the nights that she was asleep in her room and Travis's breath rank of bitterness and fear, was crying. Crying…he'd never seen her cry before. She would cry out when she was hit, in those rare occasions when he was in the room and couldn't find it in himself to run nor help, but always she hid the tears like they were a sign of some sort of sin, some deformity. He always felt so horrible when he couldn't stop tears that inevitable always came and had to sit still and endure as his mother would wipe them away whispering that things were gonna be okay (liar, even back then always you were a liar.)

So to see her cry, when she always hid them away, was like a blow. He had thought for as long as this had been going on, too long, that as long as he didn't see any tears that everything was okay, knew it wasn't true but it didn't stop him from hoping it, wishing it. Her suppressed tears meant that as long as she was strong she had no real need of him. Because she could control the situation, because she was an adult and that's what adults did: they fixed the problems and made the pain go away.

Mother, mother why are you crying? Someone was screaming in his head. Him it was always him. Oh mother why-why are you crying? And then a stronger voice inside was saying, commanding him to stop being a kid, couldn't he see his mother was hurt? What are you doing just standing there?! Help her! Help her. Make the pain go away. Help her because you can and no one did the same for you. Help her because you watched. Help her.

"Shh. Don't cry." his voice shook as he held her in his arms. Small and fragile. She was so skinny. Not the proud strong mother that had raised him as child. "Shh. Don't cry." He croaked rocking her. "Naruto-Naruto will make it all better Kyuubi. All better." Intimate it was, speaking her name but it seemed right at the time.

She sobbed, desperately into his shirt and clutched him hard, muffling the sounds as if she felt she didn't have the right to do something even this small. Naruto's tiny frame shook, "Oh mom, mother, Kyuubi, oh I'm so sorry for not helping you. Shh. Shh. Everything will be all right now. Shh everything will be alright now. Shh. Naruto, N-Naruto will make it all better now. Shh. Please just please don't cry anymore mother. Shh."

"I promise to take all the pain away mother. I'll take it all away."

Mother, eyes full of so much tears and hope that it hurt, nodded and pressed her lips to his cheek. Naruto slept with his arms around her and whispered. "Mother I promise to always protect you…always and forever.

Always.

He had kept his promised hadn't he? The next week when Travis had raised a hand to smack Kyuubi, he had walked right up and taken the blow. He had come out bloody, hurting all over, but smiling. Mother I-I didn't break my promise. She had cried but he hadn't broken his word. And he had continued to do so, day after day. And she had grown satisfied with that. He had been happy with it too.

His promise kept him going. When he wasn't at home taking care of his mother he was at school trying his best to keep up with his Middle school work. Not that it was hard, he knew most of the material as well as he knew the back of his hand. Books, school just came easy to him. It had always been that way long before any of this had occurred.

The worst part of school had been the trips to the nurse and her assessing eyes on his wounded back and the bruised on his hands, neck, hips. He would always burn with disgust when she looked at him there and then with pity. He hated it. Absolutely loathed it and relieved when she said nothing about them.

He couldn't muster any feeling of resentment. It was always overridden with relief because with her not saying a word he was reassured that his mother would never find out about Travis and his games. It still happened, more frequently now that the girl with tight skirts and fishnet shirts was no longer around. He couldn't even remember her name, and he found didn't really care that he couldn't . Long gone were the days when he needed some stupid adult to try to take the bad men away.

Now he was the only one that could take Kyuubi's pain away and offer comfort. Tsunade, an old friend of his mother took care of her while he was gone and even she could never really keep her at ease as he could. It both saddened and relieved him. He felt that if he was to ever loose his mother he would surely snap. He would have no one to be strong for and no purpose other than being what Travis sometimes called him when he was particularly drunk, his pretty little china doll.

Still while home was taken care of, he had to make sure that the school never caught on to what happened at home because Travis had threatened to do many horrible things to Kyuubi should anyone find out the truth. His father wasn't stupid no matter how intoxicated he had been at the time. He would go through with his threats and Naruto would be left without both his disgusting, beautiful, father and precious mother and for some reason he found he couldn't let go of either. They were his, the only things he felt were really left that he had of his world, without them he would float forever into nothingness.

And nothingness scared him more than death ever could. There was something just so infinite about it. While death just seemed to indicate the end of pain, suffering, fear. And so tempting.

In school he had to be a different person too, the years previous he had been the great subject of various jokes from bigger and stronger boys who liked to bully him because of his delicate body , too blue eyes and too blond hair. He stood out so much. He didn't like it and while before he would have cowered now he handled it with a cold efficiency that had at the beginning even startled him, until he had realized from who he had picked it up.

He had beat up a boy so badly that he had suffered a broken jaw and had stood over him with a cold hard smile while he lifted a foot and slammed it into his ribs and crushed that too. Who's delicate now? He had been expelled and he had been surprised that he had received no punishment from Travis except a cool nod and then the realization had hit that his father wasn't just approving his actions, he was praising him for it. Naruto had to run down the bathroom a second later, his stomach heaving with disgust.

He didn't see that boy in school the next day after the incident, he had gone to school after school was out to pick up his stuff, they were moving him to the school down the street. He didn't know what he felt but when two boys who used to always beat him up, looked up at him with fear rooted deep in their eyes he could only feel a great feeling of satisfaction digging into his skin. And disgust at what he was becoming.

The next school had improved slightly. He didn't have to beat up as many kids, was learning how to control his temper not wanting to watch identical eyes praise him again, and because many kids had learned of his earlier feat in school and practically let him walk all over them when he wanted something. It had been fun, and utterly disgusting as he could remember being one of those weak kids.

He thought he had changed for the better. His mothers despairing eyes told him otherwise, so he kept fighting to a minimum. Then he had entered puberty and girls started to look vaguely appealing to him.

Even back then there was always a girl or two that he had noticed had liked him. He had been curious. What boy wasn't? He hung out with a group of hormonal boys, they wanted to be feared just as he was feared, and they had wasted no time filling him on just what a girl was good for. He listened with a bored ear. So what?

They had given him weird looks and had informed him that it was well kind of strange if you weren't attracted to girls. One had, bravely in the opinion of many of the other boys eyes, asked him if he was a fag. He had smiled, he didn't know the affect his face had on people, and uttered a, "Nah. Why are you?"

His first kiss, and nobody knew this, had been lost to the boy who had called him a fag. The boy had followed him home and had cornered him, lips pressed up to his desperately with awkwardness following his every movement, a sign that this was just as new to him as it had been to Naruto. Naruto hadn't minded, just liked the sinking sensation of another's skin against his, and was glad that at least this experience didn't remind him of Travis because Travis never kissed just fucked.

He had pretty red hair and green eyes. He wondered if Gaara remembered that when they became friends years later. He doesn't know and doesn't think he'll ever have the chance to ask again.

After that he doesn't remember seeing the boy with red hair, he found out later that he had moved away to another city because of a complicated divorce between his parents. He didn't really remember when he left either just that he had felt a small tugging sense of disappointment and resentment at being left alone again.

He had learned one good thing from the incident though and that was the utter detachment and sinking feeling he found between lips pressed together. He began to seek them and found them a day later in a kiss from a girl with brown hair. He didn't remember much about her but that she tasted like bubble gum.

He learned that if you dated a girl it was easy to gain a kiss from them and employed these tactics without much effort, just a smile and a few not completely sincere words. It had grown tolerable but he had gained the sudden insight that kissing two different girls was not allowed and broke up with the brunet. His newfound game gave him a bad reputation but at the same time it didn't deter girls from coming after him, if anything it just seemed to drive them to him in droves until it suffocated him.

He mastered the game and was suddenly bored of it. It had been entertaining getting the stubborn girls who didn't like him at all but it was disgustingly easy how a few kisses and smiles just seemed to change them into ditzy stupid girls. Then they started to change, trying to dress for him, giggling, and putting on makeup as if they could be more appealing to him this way.

He didn't care and told them so.

It was a completely separate part of his real life at home that he relished it. Here he could hurt with a few careless words and a sneer. He slipped from roles so easily that it was comparable to breathing the way he changed from a drop of a hat. And then he got careless. He brought a girl home.

He had been kissing her in the back of the porch. And then Kyuubi had stumbled in and he remembered the hurt and the pain as he scrambled off his feet and after her. She had locked herself in her room. Naruto had dismissed the girl, kissing her gently in the back of the hand, her cheeks blazing were enough to satisfy him that she wouldn't mention this in school.

He had knocked and waited. Feeling his stomach clench as he heard the sobs but unable to do anything. He had begged, pleaded and finally desperate told her, lied to her, that he only loved her that the girl outside had meant nothing. She was nothing. Nothing compared to you. Please. Please believe me, had been the only thing that he could remember thinking.

She had opened the door and rushed into his arms. Whispering, "I knew it, I knew it. You do love me. Say it again. Please say it again. Tell me you love me."

Stomach sick with relief he lied over and over. "Yes I love you. Of course I love you."

She had looked so happy and then she had leaned down and pressed cool lips on his and it had felt like something was breaking. He had backed away, what? What? She had a look of desperation on her face as she moved with him.

"You said you loved me. You didn't lie to me did you?" She asked in a voice so full of hurt, her eyes hard and he was reminded of Travis so much in that moment that he could only run from the room.

"Naruto please wait! I love you! Don't you love me too?"

He ran and ran and ran. He ran until he could run no more and curled in on himself in his room. Mother is just like Father. Kyuubi is just like Travis. Oh god no. Please no. No. I don't want to believe it. He ignored the pounding on the door feeling like the worst thing ever.

You promise to never hurt her.

No. Naruto denied despairingly. I promised to protect her. Not this. I never promised her this.

You owe this to her.

Shut up. Shut up! SHUT UP!

Then leave her. Go on do it.

What? No…moth-Kyuubi needs me. Right?

Leave her and you'll hurt her. Stay and you may be able to fix this. Just give her what she wants. It's up to you to decide.

The pounding on the door never stopped. Naruto rocked back and forth and decided. He stood up, slowly and opened the door to red hair and cool arms sliding over him as she sobbed and promised to never ever do that again.

Naruto smiled. "No it's okay mother. I love you too. I love you too. I'll love only you." and kissed her back, and the word burned deep in his heart.

Only you, so stop hurting please. I'll do it even if I don't want to because, you want it and I've never been able to refuse you.

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So foolish of him to hope that a small kiss would chase away all her desires but he had been so young when he had promised her the world.

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There's something beautiful about a butterfly. It's as free as a bird but can be captured so easily. We spend so much time just looking at the butterfly and hoping that it'll always stay with us that we forget that beautiful things can be fragile too. Hold too tight and no matter how beautiful a butterfly is, it too shall die.

It dies not simply because it is too fragile but because it lives in a world where fragile beings cannot survive.

Naruto looked up at Sai. Sai smiled at him. Naruto didn't know what to say so he settled with a shrug and said the first thing that came to his mind--

"I don't get you." Naruto said with a snort. "You speak of nothing but idiotic things, how do you expect to get friends with an attitude like yours."

Well nobody ever said what he thought was nice.

"You understand, you just don't want to admit it." Sai said equally carelessly. "You see the world around you as I see the world. Black and Gray, there is no white."

"What does this have to do with a butterfly?" Naruto said with a shift. He thought he understood some part of it but he wasn't sure.

"People see the world in color, bright beautiful colors but colors can hide people. Distort objects. Make you see things in such a way that you are deceived into thinking they're good. But you see the world in the way it is. Dangerous and ever changing. But just because you know the world moves does not mean that you move with it."

"Oh." Naruto said and took a moment to process it. "So you mean that I look at things a different way."

"Yes."

"I see." Naruto paused. "But what does that have to do with butterflies."

"Nothing really." Sai said with a shrug. "I just wanted to see what you thought of my writing."

"…"

"That's stupid." Naruto finally scoffed turning his face upwards to avoid looking up at coal eyes before he lost his nerve. "You could have just asked me instead of going into an elaborate speech."

"I wasn't sure you would answer truthfully." Sai said laying his head on his shoulder. Naruto twisted a bit in slight discomfort and sighed. This whole friend thing was awkward. Sasuke, Kiba, and Shikamaru had just clicked. Nothing hard or awkward. Maybe it was because they already knew him, or at least thought they knew him, and it had just been easy because they had done all the moves while he had just followed. With Sai…he had to think about it, he had to make the decisions. It was both exciting and terrifying.

He didn't know when he was being too harsh or too nice…or anything. Sai never told him. Sasuke had given him a wounded look when he had started to say something cruel, and Kiba had given him bemused glances when he was too nice. Shikamaru would sigh when he got too out of it. Sai just didn't seem to care either way as long as he was just at his side.

Frightening. At least he'd had some sort of idea what to be with them. He could be Naruto Uzumaki to them all, the cold bastard he was and they'd accept it. Sai wanted him to change…to smile, to laugh. It was hard. He didn't want to change. Changing meant that you couldn't go back to the way things were and that things were alien now. The things he had done to survive for so long would be nothing. His sacrifices nothing. His losses nothing. He couldn't do that…it'd…,well he didn't know what would happen. And that's what scared him. Not knowing… not knowing which would hurt more. Living in the past or trying to move forward?

Naruto chuckled softly. "Doesn't this mean you don't trust me?" He plucked out the box out of his pocket and played with it. His new brand…ha. Tammy had stashed it in his pocket on his way to class, and stolen a kiss too. He frowned a bit, Tammy had been acting unusually clingy lately. He shrugged it off to look at Sai, he'd find what was up later.

Sai looked up with a strange expression. "Of course I trust you." Naruto didn't know enough about Sai to know that he was feeling frustrated.

"You don't seem so sure." Naruto said indifferently, laying on the ground and idly tossing the box up and down in a series of tosses. Lunch would be over in a couple of minutes, ten to twenty tops. The day was ending fast nowadays, Naruto blamed it on Sai, he leached his time like a bloodthirsty leech. Always making time fly past quickly even when they weren't sharing a class together.

The box was snatched out of his languid hands and thrown over the railing. Naruto could only stare for a second, a bit dazed with shock, before standing up and in furious steps slamming Sai into the wall. "What the fuck is your problem!?"

"Cigarettes are bad for you." Sai said simply, eyes showing a hint of his bewilderment. "You can get lung cancer."

"I know that! Don't think I don't fucking know that!" Naruto said suddenly, ignoring the voice that seemed to scream liar, liar!, frustration bleeding into his voice. "I didn't ask you that! I asked you why you threw them away!" Sai looked at him and he had to turn away. He let the shirt he had been gripping go and sat down. The anger was draining and all he could feel was stupid irrational guilt.

The stayed quiet for a couple of seconds.

"You promised them you wouldn't smoke anymore."

"What?" Naruto asked his voice soft and still with a hint of frustration and exasperation. He was also honestly confused and feeling apprehensive.

"You promised them you wouldn't smoke anymore." Sai said in a smaller voice. " I don't see why you shouldn't promise me the same."

Naruto felt like the breath had been knocked out of him and felt like the biggest jerk in the planet twice over. Because that…that was true. He had promised but…

"I don't know what you're talking about." Naruto lied. He shook his head and sat there. Just shut up please. He pleaded inside his head but of course Sai didn't.

"You lying to me." Sai's voice wasn't accusatory only stating fact. There was an odd sadness to his tone.

"Yeah." Naruto hissed, eyes cold. Don't make me feel bad you bastard I have nothing to be sad about. Don't make me feel things I shouldn't. "I'm lying and I don't fucking give a shit. Still want to be friends with me?" He gave a low laugh, cold and biting. Sai remained silent.

"See I didn't think so." In a few quick strides he was away from Sai and leaning against the railing, looking up at the clouds. He fumbled with his pockets for a second before taking out his last and only cigarette as far as Sai knew anyways.

He locked eyes with Sai and lit it up. Lips curling up into a cold disdainful smile. Then he tilted his head up and breathed. God it had been a while.

Sai's fingers dug into his skin and he stilled. " Don't put words in my mouth."

Naruto grunted, an amused sound escaping his lips though there was nothing funny about this situation. Sai looked alive when he grew mad.

"You gonna punch me." Naruto asked, shutting his eyes and taking another drag. He had really needed this. He let out a laugh that was halfway a sob. God he really was addicted. Ha..ha..stupid. He had lied twice now. Or was it the third time. He had lost count now. Did it even fucking matter anymore?

Sai's fingers dug deeper into his skin and he glanced up. So alive. He looked so alive and breathtaking like this. Not fake or plastic, it was so stark that it left him breathless for a second before Sai pulled back his fist and punched him.

Naruto's knees buckled under him and he lay there. He didn't even move when Sai crushed the cigarette under his heal. He did flinch though, when Sai placed a hand on his cheek. It was throbbing. Sai's hand was gentle, apologizing. Naruto squeezed his eyes shut and smacked the hand away furiously. Fuck you.

Naruto stood up slowly and looked up, Sai looked so anguished and guilty, his hand, the one he had hit him with, held up to his chest like it was a cursed thing. Naruto sighed and picked up his stuff, watching Sai's eyes flicker with a twinge of panic. "See stupid. One day together as and we can't even stand each other. What makes you think just calling each other "friends" will make any difference at all? We should end this before we both just end up hurting each other."

"I-I want this. I want to be your friend but you're not letting me. Why won't you let me be your friend?"

"Don't try to put this on me! It's not like you're trying either you fucking hypocrite!." Naruto gritted out, his hands fumbling as he searched for another cigarette desperately and sighing when he found one. He held it up to his lips and jerked when Sai spun him around. Naruto tried to shrug off the grip and snarled when Sai merely gripped his wrists harder.

"Bastard let go!" Sai did to his surprise and he did so, so quickly that Naruto tottered there for a second feeling disoriented. Sai didn't give him much of a chance to recover, pulling him into a hug half a second later. Naruto could only stand there feeling the shock of the rapid series of events stilling him. Sai however was doing what he did best as far as he knew from days of experience: when words no longer worked he just invaded his space and made himself comfortable there. Naruto let out a small amused sound in his shock.

Sai's arms tightened around him, in response to the sound or not he didn't know, and finally spoke. "I don't understand how to be a better friend. I wanted you to teach me, I want you to be my first friend." The words were smooth and efficient but the tense hands told him louder than words that Sai felt nervous. Probably as overwhelmed as he did now and that thought alone comforted him.

"But you don't know much about friends either." Sai continued in a much softer tone and Naruto stilled his breath to listen. "In all my excitement it seems I forgot that as well and for that I ask for your forgiveness. I don't expect you nor want you to forgive me for the cigarettes though I apologize for my behavior. You made a promise and I want to help you keep it. I made a mistake but I still want to be friends, I'm sorry for expecting so much from you."

Naruto's mouth was on auto mode. "I don't mind it's not like you're any different from anyone else who's tried to befriend me. I'm used to it."

"Don't compare me to them." and again there was that odd emotion in his voice. Frustration? Anger? Sadness? Maybe all three of them and more? "Those people don't see you and I want to even if I still can't."

For some reason those words. Those words lifted a weight from his chest. This still might not work, he believed it still wouldn't work but he wanted it to continue non the less. Maybe he was just desperate for companionship but he wanted this. He really wanted this and the admission surprised and relieved him greatly. It made him feel oddly real in a world where people didn't think of him as such.

Naruto pulled away and Sai's face fell as if he had struck him. Naruto looked away, up at the sky once more, swallowing the lump around his throat. "God you're an idiot, getting all serious about something so stupid. You still want to be my friend? Fine, really I don't even care. Do what you want." He didn't turn back, so he couldn't see Sai's smile but he could feel it and he shut his eyes basking in the glow.

"Thank you." Naruto snorted but leaned back against the railing all the same. He reached into his pockets and pulled out a cigarette, he could feel Sai tense next to him but this time he didn't move. Naruto let his lips hitch a centimeter upward at that and threw the rest of the hidden cigarettes into the pavement below.

He looked up at Sai's surprised expression and shrugged. "I was getting tired of them anyway." He breathed in Sai's scent as he hugged him, dark mixing with blond, hands on his waist, and closed his eyes. I'm sorry but I'm lying to you too and I know you'll find out sooner or later and leave me as well but for now just let me bask in this.

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Sasuke had not noticed it in the beginning, he was too deep in his self-loathing to really on focus on anything outside of it for a while. Luckily, or unluckily on your point of view, Naruto's fan girls were not so preoccupied. They were the first to notice by the way.

It was only when they started talking about it in hushed voices in groups that he began to realize something was up. Girls would huddle in groups of four and five and just argue. Kiba and Shikamaru could only watch with pity as he finally began to notice the signs.

Sai was always around Naruto. He had known that and accepted it because really what could he say. I don't want you to be friends with him even after you made it quite clear that we were no longer any interest to you? Ha, he'd be lucky if Naruto didn't just kick his ass. Not that he was sure Naruto would even bother with that much, probably thinking of him as the lowest form on earth or worse as nothing at all.

Still the weeks before Naruto hadn't been any more friendlier to Sai than any other person even if he did hang out with him. Sai had been merely left to catch up but now….now even that had changed. Naruto was the one hanging around Sai's classroom now, to the glee of many of his lower grade fan girls, taking him to class and disappearing with him. You couldn't see Naruto without Sai following around anymore. There had even been one time when Sai hadn't come to fifth period and Naruto was absent as well.

Sasuke didn't even care about that anymore. He just wanted to talk to Naruto so fucking badly. He had chickened out the last time, feeling insecure about it all. What if he doesn't want to talk to me? And all that bullshit. But now he was just sick of it all.

If he didn't talk to him then he would have his answer and he'd have to move on. It'd hurt yeah but it hurt even more wondering about the if. So what if Sai and Naruto friends that didn't mean they were more right? He liked being Naruto's friend but he wanted to be more than that too. Wanted it more than anything.

Enough to just fucking give it a try because he was sick of wondering and letting all this indecision flood him. He was going to ask Naruto today. If he got rejected all right…but if he didn't….well Sasuke didn't want to jinx it but he hoped it would be the latter.

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TBC……

A.N: Yes, shit will happen in the next chapter. Be afraid....be very afraid.