14th November 1916
Dear Eponine
I am so pleased to have received your letter Eponine, especially this month. It's been a difficult one but your letters this month as always provide me with something to look forward to. We did not exactly suffer a defeat in recent weeks but our sleeping quarters took a direct bomb hit and several of the men who had recently joined the battalion were killed. Everytime we lose another man, another friend I cannot help but wonder how long I have left. I have been defying the odds for years now and it cannot possibly go on for much longer. Am I lucky to have survived this long? Sometimes I am not sure.
I am so pleased to hear of the news regarding Courfeyrac. We were expecting him to have some sort of negative reaction to the news. Of course he would, rather, it would be strange if he had absolutely no reaction at all. Combeferre had been a friend of ours since we were children and he generally served as the mediator between Courfeyrac and I who were always heated in our discussions, always ready for a fight; but Courfeyrac mellowed a bit more than I did as we got older. At times, especially when we were in the early years of our university education, it seemed like Combeferre was more a parent than a friend.
He would turn up at each of our apartments with food and constantly remind us to pay our bills. When we would miss school for some reason it would always be Combeferre who would remember to call in, making up some simple yet believable lie in order to keep our records unblemished. This greatly differed from Courfeyrac's lies which were so elaborate that by the time he had finished describing it he had contradicted himself at least three or four times. Then there was me, I used to have the bad habit of disappearing off for days on end, generally engrossed in some work, or on other occasions, books. The issue with disappearing is that one's makes no effort to create lies, rather they just let they unaccounted for days accumulate until they are threatened with expulsion. Combeferre, among many things was the man who managed to keep us both in school - the only man amongst us boys.
Next is Grantaire, perhaps you could tell him this month or the next. We met Grantaire at the university. He was a silly man, but had a good heart, he was loyal and brave, even if the drink seemed to consistently get the better of him. The two of them were close and therefore I am not sure how he will react. However, he reacted relatively well to Combeferre death, therefore we have reason to hope that he will react in a similar way to the death of Grantaire.
It is so strange to be openly discussing the deaths of my friends. I know they are dead, I have repeated it to myself so many times yet for some reason it always feels as if they are just on holidays or that when I get home, when this war is over life will return to normal, like nothing had ever happened in the first place. Eponine, every day I wish for that, everyday, I wish that I would return home, and things would be as they were previously, before this war, but that means I would not know you the way I do now, and I can not imagine living without your presence either.
Congratulations on your success in the cafe. It is the first in a number of small steps which will not only build and enrich your business but also assist in whatever political or social changes you wish to bring about. You Eponine, you are a revolutionary, a working woman who owns her own buisness and I do hope that they listen to you, I am sure they will. It is also delightful that you are having success with your small business and when I get home, I have every intention of helping you, working at the stall alongside you and Courfeyrac.
We're still slaving away in these fields and I honestly believe that this war will only end when there are no longer any men on this earth to continue fighting. These nations, no, not nations, nations do not chose to enter into battle, nations do not start wars, egotistical men do. These men will stop at nothing to ensure their own victory, to protect their pride and not their people. This war has been going on for so long that we are forgetting why it started. And so we should, the moments this powder keg exploded and the events leading to it are irrelevant, all that matters now is that hundreds of thousands of people are dying and it needs to stop. Death is working overtime here and life cannot possibly keep up, if we keep going like this. If our leaders continue sending men to their deaths I would not be surprised if, within a year you Eponine would be joining me here on the front lines.
Our world cannot go on like this, when I was younger, at school we went on an excursion through the north of France the area bordering right on Belgium. The south get all the praise, all the beauty but the North is a true jewel and now it lies in smoking ruins. Looking out upon the world one cannot help but realise that this world could exist with almost no one and nothing and these power hungry leaders would continue to fight, just so they could rule over its smoking ruins.
And you and I, we are trapped as these men battle and we are the casualties, not completely innocent but not deserving to die either. And since when did we vote in these men so that they may have power over life and death? I feel as if we are pawns in their games, we are insignificant, we are unimportant, at least to them. But you are important to me and I hope I'm important to you and I am sick of being trapped here when I just want to be back in Paris with you
I apologise Eponine, your letters are always full of such spirit and mine always sound so heavy and tired. I wish you all the best if you choose to break the news to Courfeyrac, otherwise, I hope to speak to you very soon.
Until next time,
Enjolras
29th November 1916
Dear Enjolras
Happy Birthday! You are now another year older! I know you find birthdays pointless but I feel as if you (and I) should celebrate it because given the world's current condition, it is quite an achievement to have survived the year. Did you hear me Enjolras? An achievement! You are lucky to have survived so long, yes it is hard. However I will not act like I understand what you are going through, I do not but what I can do is encourage you to keep fighting, no, keep surviving because that is what is most important. You do not need to be a hero, you do not need to be a fighter, you just need to survive, that is all.
It is unfortunate that more of your companions have perished in this war but every time you write of more deaths I am just thankful that it was not you. I am thankful that you always manage to be in the right place at the right time. Just always remember Enjolras that all of us at home, we are all waiting for you, we are all eagerly awaiting your return you just need to survive through to the end. It is hard but you need to survive, you just need to.
I chose not to discuss Grantaire's death with Courfeyrac this month. I am not quite sure why but it just felt like it was never quite the right time. We are getting busier at work now that we have been there for a few months. Furthermore, Courfeyrac is one of those disgustingly charismatic people and he is permanently having conversations with locals and inviting them to have some coffee and cake with him. Honestly, he's been out on the streets of Paris for just a few months but has made more friends in a few months than I could ever make in a lifetime. It is almost strange how brilliant he is at making friends, he is just so friendly with absolutely everyone. Whilst I find it incredibly strange, it is also beautiful to see him like that because I find that these days, especially in a big city like Paris, people are too busy and they seem to forget about the lives of others around them. Courfeyrac is different, he always cares and it is absolutely beautiful.
Perhaps it was because he received good news this month. His parents have invited us to travel up North to stay in his childhood home for Easter. It has been years since has seen them, though he does speak to them quite frequently. Apparently they would have invited us earlier but they have been remodelling the top floor of their home and therefore have been unable to accommodate guests. However, the remodel is expected to be finished very very soon and then we will go to stay in their new home for a few months, which is very exciting. You used to live close to Courfeyrac am I correct? Do your parents still live there? If so I would love to visit them, only for coffee and cake but I would really love to meet them. I feel like I know so much, yet so little about you. I feel like I know you, I know your friends - I especially loved that little story of your's about Combeferre in your last letter, he was so sweet! - however I know nothing of your life before Paris, perhaps they can enlighten me.
This also reminds me, are you speaking to your parents from the front line? Courfeyrac mentioned that he never used to have time to write back when he was fighting. Please forgive me if you feel that I am prying but, I do not want you to spend all your time writing to me and not write to your parents at all. Again, I hope that I have not offended you but I am sure your parents are worried sick, they may even think you dead if you have not made contact for quite sometime.
I worked at the cafe a few more times this week but am cautious about stirring up any political debate just yet. I feel as if I need to build up some strong friendships with the women there before attempting to rally any support for my view which, to be honest are not completely formulated just yet. I am sure you will agree that there is no point standing up on a podium protesting for the voting rights of women or to end French involvement in the war if there is no plan on how to achieve these ideas. Ideas are beautiful but they will remain just that if they do not have plans of action accompanying them. First I need a plan of action, then I can start gathering support.
There is also the issue that if I were to start pushing my political views on these women they may view my intentions at the cafe as insincere and banish me from their lives. This would not only be detrimental to trying to bring about a change in French society, it would also be detrimental to the business as right now, those women are my most frequent customers, I need them much more than they need me. For this reason I must tread carefully. I feel like I have the chance to do something great here but I cannot afford to rush it.
Speak soon,
Eponine
Thank you for reading, favouriting, commenting and following. Comments and constructive criticism are always appreciated.
I'm back yay! but my computer broke and I lost my plan :(
Hi J91, the cake is now on my list of things to do… when the weather here cools down, I wouldnt dare turn the oven on now. Statistics say that other amis would have to have died by now, but its difficult for the characters to discover this right now, perhaps they will after the war. Thank you for commenting, I really appreciate it.
BellaCam wow thank you so much for such an amazing compliment, I am trying to put some more reflections into my work… because there is only so much you can say about a trench. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
frustratedstudent, thank you and thank you for commenting it is very much appreciated, the next update has finally arrived and I hope you will enjoy it.
LESbiansMISunderstood unfortunately I didnt make it to Sommes but had an amazing time anyway. Thank you for such a beautiful comment, I am always so worried that my character development jumps around too much so thank you, it is very reassuring.
S10Luxoka, thank you so much for another lovely comment, I hope you enjoy this chapter too even though its been an eternity since I last updated.
