I do not know where this story will go so please watch up here for WARNINGS. This will be very important as time goes on.
Also, I know I've said this before, but I've started a Facebook page called SilverMidnight52. I believe this will be an easier way for us to communicate and for you to get a say when I have questions.
I own nothing. Enjoy!
"Mr. Gibbs," Dmitri greeted coming out of his office, "Do you have a case for me?"
I watched the younger man move gracefully through his lab as if he was at complete peace. He had been here for a year and a half. I would hope that he would be able to come into his own by now.
A year and a half. How had so long based without him and I...No, that wasn't right. This wasn't up to him. It was up tome and I should have done something before now. At least, I should have done something more.
I had been waiting for the man to make a move to show that he was interested in talking to me at all, but he didn't. At least I had thought that he just needed more time. Now I was realizing I was wrong.
Dmitri could see that I was closed off to whatever he wanted to say. Why would the man talk to me when he knew that I wasn't truly going to be willing to listen to anything he had to say?
"No," I shook my head, "I wanted to talk."
"Okay?" Dmitri questioned putting a file down.
The younger man stared at me curiously. It wasn't often that I felt nervousness anymore, but having those hazel eyes boring into me I found myself questioning if this was a good idea. I couldn't get away from this though.
Dmitri deserved to know what was going on. Even if I was just beginning to truly understand the whole situation myself. I had to let him know that things were going to be different now.
"Are you okay, Mr. Gibbs?" Dmitri asked moving closer to me.
"No," I answered calmly, "I'm not, Dmitri. I need you to tell me what happened with Abby."
"With... Why does that matter?"
"I need to know."
With a shake of his head the younger man turned away and started to pace. For the first time I had no idea what was going on in his mind. I could normally figure out what he was thinking fairly easily.
"It doesn't matter," Dmitri shook his head.
"Yes, it..."
"No, it doesn't. What she did doesn't matter."
"I need to know the truth."
Dmitri stopped his pacing long enough to stare at me. He looked so sad and lost for a moment. It was as if he had already figured everything out and was just waiting for everyone else to catch up.
Or waiting for me to catch up. Everyone else seemed to already know what was going on. They knew everything that had happened in the past and in truth they just didn't want to deal with how I'd react.
Everyone that worked for NCIS knew that I would never question Abby. They knew that she could get away with murder and I would stop anything from happening to her. Possibly even throw someone else under the bus.
I had done it with McGee too many times to count. Over the years I had put Abby in my agents care and time and time again she had lead me to believe that he had failed in someway.
I should have known better. I brought McGee onto my team because I saw something in him that I knew should be trained. He was a good agent and has just gotten better over the years.
My team was good. I had picked them myself for that very reason. I saw just how good they could be if they had the right training. I had thought that I was the right person to teach them. Maybe I was wrong.
I had let myself be taken advantage of for many years. Something that I always kept told them to never let happen. I had even made a rule of it. One that I didn't seem to follow myself.
That was another reason I wanted them to be on my team. I had been told many times how good of an investigator that I was. Having them on my team meant I could show them what I knew and help them be better.
I saw a future in all of them. One that I wanted them to be able to see in themselves. Maybe I did push them in those directions with some of the choices I made. There was a reason I did what I did.
With Tony I knew that he wanted to be a good team leader. It was why I let him have a little more control over things that happened during an investigation. Why I rarely told him what to do.
With McGee I pushed him into the computers and into talking to higher-ups. As much as people thought I didn't see it I knew that computers were the future. I didn't want him to forget the basics though. Him being the Director of NCIS would be good for him.
With Ziva... Well, she was a little harder. As bad as it sounded and I knew it did. I wasn't sure that this line of work was for her at all. She had been forced into it, but I felt like she would eventually find something better for herself when she was ready for it.
This was my team and I had thought that I was the right person to teach them and show them what they could be. I needed to figure out everything that came with my team. I needed to learn who they were again.
"Dmitri..." I started.
"Okay," Dmitri nodded, "I'll tell you. If you tell me something."
"What?"
"Why did you replace Kelly?"
My eyes widened at the younger man question. No one had ever questioned me like that before. There was no reason for them to. Well, there were many reasons for them to, but none of them were stupid enough to.
Dmitri was different though. He knew Kelly and he knew Shannon. He was her best friend. He was part of our family. He knew that he was the one person that could call me out on this.
"I didn't mean..." I tried.
"But you did," Dmitri interrupted, "Mr. Gibbs, you have no idea how long I've dreamed of meeting you again. Of being able to have my family back in my life."
"They're..."
"They weren't my own family. You were my family too. I called you Dad. I called Shannon Mom. Kelly was my sister. You know this."
"Of course I know."
"Then why are you being so disrespectful to their memory?"
"I never..."
"Yes, you did. Every time you stopped yourself from being happy. Every time you pushed people away to 'protect' them. That was disrespectful to them and you know it."
"Dmitri."
"Growl all you want, Mr. Gibbs. I'm right. They would never have wanted this to be your life. Surrounded by people, but still alone."
"It's what I deserve."
"What you... You blame yourself for their deaths? How does that make sense?"
"If I was there..."
"You'd be dead too. You would have been in that car with them and I would have lost you all. Or...Maybe I did. I think about them all the time, Mr. Gibbs. I think about you all the time. I never stopped living though. Kelly and Mrs. Shannon will always be my family and I love them too much to let that be the end."
Dmitri turned away and went to his office. He stopped at the door way resting a hand on the frame. I could see the slight shaking in his body letting me know that he was affected by this more than he was letting on.
"Abby is not Kelly, Mr. Gibbs, and I'm not the little boy you knew," Dmitri spoke softly.
"I know," I nodded, "But I want to know who you've come."
"Okay, but maybe you should figure out who you are first."
Nodding my head I turned and started to leave Dmitri's lab. He was right. There were a lot of things that I needed to know about a lot before I was able to truly figure out what should happen next.
"Mr. Gibbs," Dmitri called me back, "Abby was the one that told people that I was gay. She threatened my job because I wouldn't leave. She threatened me with you."
"You didn't leave," I stared at him.
"I've been bullied too much in my life to let a Princess tell me what to do."
Chuckling at the words I left the lab and went into the elevator. Seemed like I had a few things to learn from the younger man. There was one thing I forgot though. I forgot how close Abby's lab was to Dmitri's.
