Author's Notes: - Thanks to Stonedtoad for betaing.

The next two chapters are finished and will be posted over the next few days. But until NaNoWriMo is over then there will be no further chapters – assuming I keep focus.

Enjoy


"You wanted to see me?"

Kristin looked up from her conversation with her daughter to find Kate standing there. The bruising and cuts on her face were fading, she was wearing a high necked top hiding the dark bruising on her throat. Her face was blank, not giving away anything, the way she had been when she'd first come onboard.

"Just a quick check," Kristin assured, "Especially your wrists. I don't want the cuts to get infected."

Kate nodded and Kristin frowned. Kate had been extremely quiet since she'd returned to the Seaquest after her encounter with her step-father and Kristin hoped time would help her deal with what had happened. Unfortunately the last few days Kristin had been far too busy with what had happened with her own daughter to worry about Kate.

"Take a seat," Kristin told her before smiling, "Kate, this is my daughter Cynthia."

Kate glanced over giving a slight nod before asking, "How's Tim?"

Kristin saw annoyance flash through Cynthia's eyes at Kate's rudeness but she shook her head so Cynthia didn't say anything.

"You could check on him yourself?" Kristin pushed.

Kate stared at her for a few moments before stating coldly, "Or you could just answer me?"

Kristin was very aware of her daughter watching the dance between them, she glanced at Cynthia before she shrugged, "Tim is healing nicely. His arm is in a sling just now but he is back at work. With some physiotherapy his arm will be as good as new."

The young woman nodded softly, a flash of something that Kristin wasn't quite sure how to translate flickered across Kate's face before she offered her arms so Kristin could check them.

She sat patiently allowing Kristin to check the deep scrapes on her wrists from the ropes. Kristin cleaned and rewrapped them once more. Kate nodded and slid away without another word.

"She's a joy," Cynthia noted sarcastically once Kate had walked out.

Kristin sighed, "Usually she is. You saw the bruises, she was attacked recently and it seems to have shaken her badly. I just hope she finds her way back."

x

"You wanted to see me?"

Nathan looked up as Kate stood in his doorway, "Come on in."

He watched her walk slowly to the chair and sit stiffly her face blank, Kristin was right Kincaid's attack had scarred more than Kate's flesh.

"I wanted to know if you feel able to get back to work?" he asked.

Kate shook her head, "Not yet."

"Okay," he nodded, "You know if you need to talk, I'm here."

Kate's lips parted for a moment and he briefly saw the girl he'd taken care of after her previous encounter with her step-father before she disappeared with a shrug.

"Lt O'Neill is asking about you," Nathan continued, seeing her flinch slightly, "Let him know you're okay."

Kate stood and started out, she turned back to him, "I'm sure you can tell him that. I'll see you later, Nathan."

As she left he sighed, Kristin was right Kate was pulling away from them.

x

"Sir?"

Nathan smiled slightly to see Tim O'Neill come over to him, he was happy how quickly the young man had recovered, even if his right arm was still in the sling so he didn't overwork his injured limb.

"Yes, Lieutenant?" Nathan asked, "What can I do for you?"

The younger man nervously licked his lips, "Is Kate okay?"

"No, she isn't," Nathan told him bluntly.

Tim sighed, "She's avoiding me. I think she came to see me when I was in the infirmary but I was pretty groggy."

Nathan rested his hand on the younger man's uninjured shoulder, "Everything that happened…she just needs some time to work it out and she prefers to be alone."

Tim shook his head, "She shouldn't be alone."

Nathan winced as Tim walked away with determination, hoping that the determination would last against Kate's walls.


Kate sat on her bunk staring at the wall. She didn't have the energy to move and she wasn't quite sure what she would do right now if she found the energy. Part of her wanted to run, to get as far away from the Seaquest as possible but another part wanted to lock the door to her quarters and stay hidden.

She sighed as someone knocked, "Go away," she snapped.

For a few minutes there was nothing and she assumed whoever it was had left, then the door opened. She looked up about to tell whoever it was to get lost freezing as Tim stood in her doorway. Her eyes quickly flicked over him checking he was alright after being shot, thankfully other than the sling he seemed fine so she leaned back and looked away.

"Go away, Tim," she said.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay," he stated softly, not budging.

"Tim, I'm tired," Kate told him coldly, "You can tell Nathan you've checked on me."

"Is that why you think I'm here?" he demanded annoyed, "Because the Captain asked me to check on you?"

Kate shrugged.

"Oh, it's you," Tim shook his head, "I thought you'd left a long time ago."

Confusion covered Kate's face, "What?"

"The Kate who came on board at the beginning of the tour after the Stark incident," he explained, "Who dressed like she was hiding and kept herself separate from the crew, who Krieg once described as colder than ice."

"Maybe that's who I actually am," Kate retorted.

Tim shook his head, "With someone else you might get away with that but not me. After everything this year you can't pretend with me."

"Go away, Tim," anger filled her voice.

"No."

She glared at him; it was a look that Tim would normally step back from but this time Tim held his ground.

"I am not walking away when you're obviously in pain," he told her taking the few steps inside and took a seat beside her on the bunk, "I'm your friend."

Kate's eyes closed, "Please," she whispered, "Tim, please just leave."

"No."

She turned her head away trying hard not to look at him, especially when he took her hand. After a few minutes he broke through the first wall.

"You could have died," Kate whispered, "Because of me."

Tim squeezed her hand, "It wasn't your fault."

"He shot you because you were talking to me," she reminded him angrily.

"Kate, that wasn't your fault," he soothed, "He thought you were someone else."

Kate dropped her eyes.

"And even if you were who he was looking for," Tim continued, "The only person to blame is the guy who shot me."

Looking up at him Kate finally began to crack, she took a shaky breath, "I shouldn't have come with Nathan, I should have stayed on the island or…or…or..."

"Do you have any idea how glad I am you did come here?" Tim told her when she trailed off, "This tour wouldn't have been half as much fun without you."

Kate smiled very slightly. Tim wrapped his arm around her not letting go when he felt her stiffen at his touch.

"Tim…"

"I'm not going anywhere," he told her, "You don't have to deal with this alone."

He could feel her shaking and knew he just needed one small push to get past her walls completely. Tim knew he was possibly taking his life in his hands but took the chance and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. Kate's body shuddered and her head dropped onto his chest. He felt the sob wrack her body before he heard her begin to cry. Tim pulled her close letting her weep.

x

"Nathan."

At the soft voice Nathan looked up finding Kate standing there looking small and sad.

"Come on in," he told her.

Slowly Kate moved and sat across from him. Nathan studied her as she sat quietly.

"Are you here for a reason?" he asked after a few minutes of silence.

Kate sighed, "Before I ended up on the island I only had to think about myself. Then there was you but I could deal with that because you'd been in my life for a long time and you never expected me to be normal," she took a breath, "When he…when he…" she paused again and took another deep breath, "If he knew that I actually cared about Tim," she stopped again and rubbed her eyes, "I had to survive. I had to stop caring."

Nathan nodded in understanding, "So you decided to continue not to care once you came home?"

"It wasn't a decision," Kate whispered achingly, "It was survival. I thought if I let anyone in again then I would shatter."

"Kate…"

"Please use my real name," she asked softly, "Just for the moment."

Nathan nodded, "Of course, Sophie."

"He took everything from me," Kate continued, "My childhood, my mother and now I find out he also took my father."

"I'm so sorry, Sophie," Nathan told her.

She nodded, "I like being Kate. Kate is who I chose to be. And I do like my life. Tim and Miguel are my friends who make me laugh in a way I never have before I came here, Lucas is the little brother I never had, you're the closest thing I've ever had to a father and Kristin is practically a mother. I like being Kate but there are days, like today, when I wonder what it would have been like to be Sophie."

Nathan smiled slightly.

"What would my life have been like if I had grown up with my real parents?" she wondered, "What would I have done? I don't even know anything about my father."

"I'm so sorry, Ka…Sophie," Nathan gently brushed a lock of hair back, "But I know that they would be proud of you."

Kate smiled, "Thank you," she sighed softly, "I should go see Kristin, she went through a lot with her daughter and I was a bit of a bitch."

Nathan chuckled, "Will you be back to work tomorrow?"

"As long as Kristin signs me off," Kate told him before smiling softly, "I'll see you later."


Kate sat by the moon pool watching Darwin as he swam. Kristin had been as supportive as always when Kate apologised for her behaviour.

"I thought you weren't hiding away anymore?" Tim's voice made her look up.

"I'm not," she smiled at him, "Just taking a moment."

He sat beside her, smiling as she took his hand.

"Thanks," she said softly.

"For what?"

Kate rolled her eyes, "I don't know, for putting up with my bloody mindedness," she looked up at him and smiled, "For not leaving when I tried to make you and forcing me to deal with what happened."

Tim squeezed her hand, "I'm your friend. You're stuck with me."

"Good," she chuckled, "Because I have serious abandonment issues."

Tim bounced up and pulled her to her feet, "Come on. Let's go get some dinner."

Wrapping her arm around his waist, Kate allowed Tim to move her away from the moon pool.

Her step-father had tried to break her and he'd almost succeeded. If it wasn't for Tim then Kate was sure she would have given in and that the psychopath would have won. Impulsively she squeezed her friend who looked down with one of those smiles that filled her with warmth.

She had made the right decision coming to the Seaquest.