Chapter 28
"Barrage's home address, nice snag." Lee said examining the principal's I.D. as she and Cam rode on a street car, and Cam leaned back into the seat complacently. "Oh, and thanks for coming with me."
"Just dying to see where a guy like Barrage lives, you know?" he questioned. "Is it like some whacked out steel fortress of doom or whatever? Or maybe like a little Spanish bungalow?"
"I'm going with log cabin, something he could build with his bare hands." Lee replied and looked at the beeping dots on her virtual map of the city. "Let's just hope we make it back before class starts." She said before something caught her attention outside. She grinned slightly. "Hey, isn't that…?" she trailed off and quickly dialed a number on her phone and held it up to her ear as she covered her mouth to stifle a chuckle as Cam pressed his face against the window, trying to gain the attention of the person Lee was calling. "Correct me if I'm wrong," she said through her chuckles, "but you're the one called Biffy T. Goldstein, boyfriend of Lee Ping, correct?"
Biff chuckled quietly on the other line. "That'd be correct." He said and Cam snickered as he leaned onto Lee, making smooching noises before she pushed him to the floor and he huffed as he sat back down on the seat. "Oh, and tell Cam he's dead when I see him!" Biff continued and Lee rolled her eyes, knowing that so far Biff hadn't gone through with any of his threats. "And I'm not going to school."
"My mother got you that scared?" Lee asked amused, as she had yet to break the exciting news that her mother had given some grudging approval of Lee seeing Biff. If she speculated, Lee would think it was because Biff was the only guy she was ever interested in.
Or that sending her to Alaska probably wasn't going to let that get in the way of them seeing each other.
"No!" Biff shouted and Lee pulled the phone back as he got defensive of his manly bravery. "I mean-I got to confront my parents, remember?"
"Oh right, the whole, 'they built the brainwashing tech'." Lee replied. "And possibly work for the guys who planned it?"
"Yeah, they've been dodging me for days!" Biff replied. "Weird, huh?" he huffed in frustration. "I finally need them for something and they're gone! So, I'm gonna…"
"Biffy?" Lee questioned with a frown when Biff stopped speaking.
"Gotta go, bye!" Biffy said and disconnected the phone.
Lee pulled the phone back in disbelief. What was that about? A flash of insecurity flared in her as she remembered where he was the last time he'd been so secretive. 'With Kimmie.' She thought darkly, but tried to shove those remaining feelings of jealously away. She had nothing to be jealous over, and if Biff didn't get jealous over the guys she spent her time with, then Lee shouldn't be envious of Kimmie spending her time with Biff.
Lee was soon pulled out of her thoughts when the street car eventually stopped and she and Cam got off it, and her phone beeped, with her expression going flat. "Great, first day back and I'm already late."
Cam clapped his hands together. "Numero 6." He said, but gapped at the small house in front of them. "Uh, wow, that's just so not what I pictured, man. Like, no evil fortress? Dude, so what, we just go up there and knock?"
Lee pushed him toward the bushes. "No, we hide." She said as a large truck came pulling into the driveway.
"Yo!" Cam said indignantly, his face covered with smudges of dirt. "Warning next time! Er, the dirt!" he hissed and scrubbed the dirt off one cheek.
Lee pointed to the other. "Sorry, you got a little piece," she said and he scrubbed harder, "no, you're left side. No, not my left, your left-here." She said and was about to scrub the dirt away herself when several Cleaners busted out of the moving truck and ran into the house.
"Okay, my gut instinct is we get out of here." Cam said, but Lee was already gone. "But I'm gonna guess yours is-"
"Come on." She said from beside the bushes right by the house. "Let's check it out."
"Yeah, pretty much that." Cam continued and they both surveyed the house, coming to the other side as the Cleaners began to haul out boxes. "Holy fretangas those guys work fast." Cam said amazed and once the last Cleaner left they both walked into the empty house. "Dang."
Lee walked further into the house, her eyes roving over the wires hanging out of the wall. "Barrage disappears, and now they make it like he never existed?"
"What's next?" Cam questioned. "The house vanishes?" he added and the house began to move and they both began to stumble. "Hey, I was just kidding, yo! Where are we going?!" he shouted as they looked out the back window.
"Aw man!" Lee shouted and they quickly pulled out their phones, Lee calling Tina first. "Any luck?"
"Holger and Brandy aren't answering." Cam said.
"Yeah, neither is Tina." Lee replied. "Hold on." She said and called Biff up. "Biff? Help, I'm in a 911."
"Yeah? Well I'm in a 912, mine's more important. You're not gonna believe this, but the place my parents work, it's been erased." Biff replied.
"Trust me, I believe you." Lee said as she tried not to fall when the truck hit a bump. "I'm dealing with the exact same thing." She said and she and Cam fell down when the house hit another bump, but she grew suspicious when she heard a voice in the background. "Who was that?"
"Uh, nobody, I'm gonna lose you in-" Biff said but was cut off.
Lee's eyes widened. "Biffy? Biffy?" she questioned, her fingers clenching her phone tightly as her thoughts whirled once she figured out who the person was in the background. Kimmie was with Biff right now.
"Dude!" Cam shouted and broke Lee out of her thoughts. "Check it; I'm totally getting the hang of it." He said and began to 'surf' with the bumps that the house hit. The two of them watched as the house was pulled into a warehouse, and they were sent onto the floor as it jerked to a stop, only for them to get thrown to the floor again as the truck dropped the house onto the floor outside. "Oh, man."
"No, we're off the grid." Lee said checking her phone, but saw that there was a no signal icon on her phone.
"'Kay, so, now what?" Cam asked nervously as he peered out the window.
"I'm gonna go with: escape." Lee replied and headed for the exit.
The two of them watched two Cleaners go by with boxes in their arms, and then Lee and Cam hurried down the shelf aisles, only to stop at the exit as two other Cleaners went by and they saw that there were many more aisle of shelves. When the Cleaners passed, they both snuck over to the other aisle, crawling on their hands and knees to avoid being spotted.
"Okay," Lee said once got back to her feet, "I think I figured it out," she continued as she looked at the alphabetized aisles, "these stacks are labelled alphabetically, so Alexander Nigma High School stuff would be over…" she trailed off as they walked down the 'A' aisle.
Cam ruffled through a box on the side. "Flakes, stink bombs, this is the stuff from the prank, yo!" he said as Lee hurried over to one of the boxes further down.
Lee opened the lid, the box having a red X over it. "And this should be the box with-bingo! Barrage's computer!" she exclaimed and Cam picked the hard drive up. "Now we can check out the rest of the computer and see where they took h-" she was cut off by the sound of an alarm and they both had to flee as the Cleaners caught sight of them.
"Andale!" Cam shouted as he struggled with the computer.
The two of them ran through the aisles, before devising a plan and Lee let the Cleaners chase her down another aisle as Cam got ready. "You ready?" she called.
"Lead 'em in, homes!" Cam shouted.
Lee ran through the aisle Cam was up against, waiting until she was near the end so she wouldn't be crushed. "Now!" she shouted and jumped the rest of the way out, the shelves beside her falling over on the robots.
"Yes!" Cam cheered as Lee hurried over to him and they hive-fived.
"And look," Lee said nodding at the door that had been obscured by the shelves, "a way out."
"Uh, homey?" Cam said pointing behind them to the new batch of Cleaners running over to them.
Lee and Cam hurried over to the door, with the redhead rummaging through her bag as she saw the weird-shaped lock. "Now where did I put that…aha!" she shouted and pulled the key out.
"Might wanna hurry that up, bro!" Cam said as Lee opened the lock, and Lee tried to push the door closed as Cam slapped the Cleaner's arms out and once the door shut fully, they high-fived again. "Maybe we rule!"
"Actually," Lee said nervously as she heard a growling from the darkened tunnel, "I think he does." She said pointing at the blue Tazz that came slithering out and lunged for them, but they both managed to dodge it and went running down the tunnel.
Cam continued to struggle with carrying the hard drive. "Dude, I gotta drop this." He said stopping.
Lee halted and gripped his arms to keep him from letting go. "No, pass it over." She said, but the blue Tazz knocked into them and the hard drive was sent crashing into the floor. "No!" she shouted as the computer sparked and cracked open. "Okay, enough is enough." Lee said getting angrily to her feet. "I'm sick of you guys always messing with me."
"Dude, what are you doing?" Cam asked incredulously.
"Something I should have done a long time ago." Lee replied and narrowed her eyes. "You want a piece of me?" she challenged and the blue Tazz snarled. "Let's go! It's on!" she shouted and ran at the blue Tazz as it charged her, but before they collided, the red Tatzelwurm knocked the blue Tazz down and it slithered off after the red Tatzelwurm bit into its tail.
"First, that was awesome." Cam said getting to his feet. "Second, uh, computer's finite, man." He said picked up a disk. "You think the hard drive still works?"
Lee grabbed the disk and put it in her bag as she looked at the Tatzelwurm. "Hey Tazz, you know a way out?"
The Tatzelwurm used its tail to gesture for them to follow, and not wanting to stay in the tunnel for any longer, they followed it to a ladder.
"I think he wants us to go up there." Cam said and Lee went climbing up first.
"Come on." She said and pushed the tile up once she reached it, her eyes widening in disbelief. "Hey, Cam, you are not gonna believe this."
Cam came up beside her and peered out at the giant clog in the shop class that held Tina and Holger in it. "Check it."
"Psst, hey." Lee called out to one the geniuses. "What's going on?"
"Lee Ping?" he asked. "You here to rescue us?"
Lee shushed him and Cam looked at her with an annoyed expression. "Man, why can't anything we do be like, normal? So what now?" Cam asked.
"We save them." Lee said simply. "I've got a plan." She added and snuck out of the hole.
"Ah, I've heard that one before." Cam said and tossed Lee her key back.
Lee caught it and crawled over to the clog cautiously and heard Holger talking about shoes as she peered in through the bars, Tina brightening up once she saw her.
"Lee." She said quietly, but happily. "I'm so glad to see you, Holger is driving me bonkers. And Blompkins is bonkers."
"Hi Lee, it's me, Holger from school." The blond said cheerfully.
Lee sighed tiredly. "I know who you are, Holg." She said and tried to pry the clog off the door. "Okay, open already."
"Forget us, save everyone else." Tina said.
"Already on it." Lee said pointing over to where the other students were escaping down the ladder.
"Where are all my clog workers?" Blompkins questioned as he noticed everyone was gone.
Cam saluted him mockingly. "See ya, wouldn't want to be ya." He said and went down into the hole.
"No, my workers!" Blompkins cried before turning a furious gaze over to the redhead. "Lee Ping, I should have known. Once a bad egg, always a bad egg."
Lee pointed at herself. "Me? No, I was just here making sure the lock was…secure." She said lamely, but nearly jumped when Blompkins pulled out a gun with a clog attached and began to fire clogs at Lee. She dodged them, but was in disbelief at what was happening. "Hey, that's dangerous! And ridiculous!"
"Yes, the power of clogs, for those who seek to unlock its magical powers, are most dangerous!" Blompkins retorted.
"See? Totally bonkers." Tina said.
Lee looked over as several Cleaners charged her, but Lee dived out of the wall of more clogs being fired at her, and the clogs took out the Cleaners instead of her.
"No!" Blompkins shouted. He got angry once again and continued firing clogs at Lee, who had to duck around desks to avoid being hit.
"Okay, how about a five-minute time out?" Lee questioned as she breathed heavily, but then she tripped over a mallet.
Blompkins aimed the gun at her. "Advantage Blompkins, now taste the devastating power of the clog!"
The door slammed open and just like at the dance, Sue Ping stood there in the doorway, her eyes zeroing in on the gun aimed at Lee. "Mr. Blompkins! Are you firing clogs, at my daughter?!"
"Mom?!" Lee asked incredulously.
"Quit, angel. Mama is confronting a mad fruit loop." Sue replied and looked back at Blompkins. "I'm sure that is against school policy."
"Mrs. Ping, your daughter is a rotten egg," Blompkins said and readied the gun, "she must be taught a lesson." He said as Sue marched over and struggled with Blompkins over the gun. "Let go!"
"No, you let go!" Sue retorted as she pulled the gun free.
"Well played indeed." Blompkins said as he backed away. "But…on guard!" he shouted as he reached behind his desk and pulled out another clog gun. "Now I see where Miss Ping gets her bad manners."
"No one says that about my daughter!" Sue replied. "Except me." She said and they both began firing at each other.
"Mom?" Lee repeated, still a bit stunned.
Sue ducked down. "Not now Lee, can't you see your mother is busy?" she questioned and crouched forward.
Lee picked up the mallet she tripped on and used it to break the giant clog lock off.
Holger burst free, cheering wildly. "Go, Mrs. Lee, go!"
"So I guess your mom is kinda awesome." Tina said as she got out of the clog prison.
"Yeah, she kinda is." Lee replied as she watched the continued clog fight between her mother and Blompkins, which her mother ultimately won as she stood on a desk and hit Blompkins from an angle.
"Point, match: Ping." Sue said.
Blompkins got back to his feet unsteadily. "You may have defeated me today, but-"
"Hush!" Sue shushed him. "The whole school knows about what you did, and they will be bringing this up at the next parent-teacher council meeting." She said and looked over at her daughter. "Lee, let's go." She said and Lee had no arguments as they all left the shop class.
"Mrs. Lee's mom, you are perhaps the most awesomest of action heroes of all times maybe, and most yesfinetly Holger's new favorite." Holger said.
"Yeah mom, that was so-look out!" Lee shouted as Blompkins opened the door to fire at them, but Sue shot another clog, knocking the gun out of his arms.
"Nice try." She said. "Class, dismissed."
Lee plugged the hard drive into her computer and her eyes widened. "Whoa, a submarine?"
"What are you looking at?" Sue asked from the doorway.
Lee nearly jumped as she minimized the picture. "Oh, nothing."
"A few parents at the parents council called an emergency meeting, Blompkins has been officially fired." Sue relayed.
"Way to go mom." Lee said brightening up.
"Fighting is never the answer!" Sue replied sharply.
"Unless," Lee said slyly, "someone is shooting clog at you?"
Sue didn't reply to that as she flipped the switch. "Lights out, I love you." She said shutting the door.
"Love you too, mom." Lee said looking back at her computer as Biff appeared.
"Lee, we gotta talk." He said grimly.
Lee froze at those words, her heart racing, but she tried to keep it from showing on her face. "Sorry Biff, it's lights out." She said quickly, wanting to avoid whatever news he was about to give her and closed his screen.
She just didn't think she could stand what he had to say; nothing ever good came from those words.
