I stand outside her apartment and knock. She is my only hope. The only friend I can remember.

"Peeta?" Johanna says in disbelief when she opens the door.

"I need a place to stay." I admit.

"Oh… um… come in." she says opening the door for me. She gestures me to sit down.

"What happened?" she asks. I can't talk about it. It is too tempting to go back to the District when I even think about her. Countless times I pulled over from the driveway and nearly rushed back to her arms.

But I can't leave Johanna without an explanation.

"Katniss." Is all I can muster. She nods and doesn't ask further.

"It's a bit tight for space," She says looking around the messy apartment. "Would you mind sleeping on the couch?"

"That's perfect." I croak, my voice stil hoarse from tears. "I'll only be here for a while unti I can find a place to stay."

"You can stay as long as you like." She says with a smile.

0000000000000000000000000

I wake up with a painful crick in my neck from the uncomfortable couch. I groan and rub the spot.

I check the time. 12:30. I sit up and stretch. Johanna is already at her morning shift.

It has been a week since I barged in on her and it has been a week of torture. My thoughts haunt me and I can't do anything else but think of ways that it could of gone differently.

What will I do today? I can't sit around and wallow in my sadness as per usual. I wish I had a distraction.

I slump back down on the the lumpy couch and stare up in the ceiling.

What have I done?

The sentence swirls through my brain every waking hour.

I have damned this world to a death arena.

Guilt has taken more then just my soul it has taken everything from me, I can't even breathe without the sickening sensation of guilt clawing at me, blanking everything out.

Then there is Katniss. I can still feel her arms surrounding me and her lips pressed against mine. I hold on to our precious memories. I run them over and over again through my mind to remind me that they were real but everytime I suffer the pang of longing with every beat of my heart. It pulses through my body like blood and I know that without Katniss it will be permanent.

Why couldn't I have thought it through, maybe I could have brought the file and taken Prim then at the last second tore it up and rush away with her. Maybe then we could run away to the forest and live happily ever after with Katniss. But I know that could not be an option, he would find me and everybody I love and now I have not only volentarily taken apart my happiness but in the process given every child an uncertain future, possible death.

I feel nauseous.

I'm about to walk to the counter when a noise stops me from outside the door. I hear a knock. I approach the doorway and fiddle with the locks. I open the door and the next thing I know is I'm looking at the ceiling with a huge man towering over me. I blink. Is this a weird dream? I open my eyes and the man is still there. He has a humongous needle in his hand and before I can scream for help he inserts it in my flesh. I muffled cry escapes my lips as the pain shoots through the point of contact.

What is happening?

My eyes dart around the room in confusion and I shiver with fear. I open my mouth to scream but nothing comes out.

The man pulls me to my feet and throws me onto the couch. My arm is caught behind me in an agonizing position. I try to speak again but I stop, the shock of the moment leaving me speechless. Snow emerges from the doorway with a smirk and stands infront of me.

"What?" is all I can say. My voice is quivering. I remember the feeling of trying to be brave infront of this man but what's the point, he already has me pinned to the couch with a man twice my size insuring I don't move and I have already had an unknown subtance injected into me. I have every reason to be absolutely petrified. My breaths begin to turn shaky and I find it hard to keep still underneath the strong arms of the man and the cold stare from Snow.

"Mr. Mellark," Snow says approaching me. "How nice to see you again, I never really got to say goodbye after you rudely rushed out of my office."

I have the right to remain silent.

The snake looks awful. More sickening then usual. The corners of his eyes are sagging and a crease has formed between his eyes. I'm surprised that slime isn't crawling down his face because he is glistening. His eyes are drooping with lack of sleep and his snarl looks strained. Something is not going to his plan.

"I'm afraid that this isn't one of our usual pleasant meetings," he continues. I almost laugh at his absurd comment but it sticks in my throat with his next statement. "I have inserted you with sodium pentothal."

The mist of my confusion is still hanging

"What?" I repeat.

"Truth serum." I try not to gag. He chuckles slightly but it sounds like nails being pulled down a wall. It puts my teeth on edge. "I have just got my hands on it." He licks his lips and I half expect his tongue to be forked like a snake.

"Why?" I ask. My voice sounds tired and I am. I'm tired of him showing up with a new reason to inflict on my life. "What is wrong this time Snow?" I sound almost bored.

"I just need to ask you some questions." He begins pacing up and down the room with his hands clasped together. "It should become affective in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1."

I don't feel any different apart from the throbbing of the needle.

"Now," he says. He has stopped pacing and is now standing opposite me. "How about a little trial run, just to make sure it's working."

I feel my body begin to shake all over. What will I let slip?

"What is your fondest memory?"

"Every memory with Katniss." I don't even remember it forming on my tongue before it has slipped out of my mouth.

"Any one in particular?"

I don't want to tell him this but I can't stop.

"Our first kiss." I shut my mouth tight, willing myself to stop speaking.

"That sounds lovely," he says slowly, he has an evil smile on his face. He is enjoying seeing me like this. "Would you like to tell me about this?"

"No." I say through gritted teeth.

"How about some useful questions, hm?" He opens a briefcase that lies beside him and takes out a sheet of paper and a pen.

"I have one qustion in particular," he says, a frown forming. "We have a nasty situation involving the file,"

I sit up and lean forward, did something happen?

"It seems that you have given us the wrong information.."

I feel something lift off my chest. A weight that I didn't notice was forcing me to the ground, now I feel like I could fly.

"Was this your intention?"

"No." I reply.

"Do you know where the file is?"

"No." I say. I didn't need truth serum for that. A look of frustration flashes across his face. He turns to the men holding me roughly to the couch.

"Very well." He says.

"What does this mean?" I ask boldly. "Am I… free?" He laughs coldly.

"Yes, so to speak."

I'm free. I have escaped. I can't help let a huge smile spread across my face.

"Will you find the files?" I ask. I suddenly don't feel afraid. He has nothing over me anymore.

"I will try." He says determindly but we both know that I was his last chance.

Without another word he leaves the room with the men.

I lay back on the couch and I decipher what has just happened.

No more President Snow. No more Hunger Games.

I release a laugh and leap up from the couch. I feel like jumping up in the air but a thought stops me with a start.

Katniss.

I find that I'm already speeding off in the direction to District 12 with a manic smile that I can't seem to wipe away.