Lake Calenhad

"You're not nearly as irritating as I feared you would be."

"I know we do not see eye to eye on many things, but that does not mean we cannot be friends."

"Perhaps." Despite having no love for the Chantry or Orlais, the bard preparing her arrows had proven to be tolerable company to the Sabre Seeker, "Perhaps we should work towards greater understanding rather then strive for conflict."

"But true art emerges from adversity."

"What do you mean?"

"It can be messy, but conflict and adversity challenges people. It allows them to grow and change for the better." Leliana explained, "Lets say you wardens, though some get along better with a few others, for the most part you tend to clash over almost everything."

"We come from different walks of life, it is to be expected."

"Yet, you have come to accept those differences through your clashes and have even found ways that you are the same." Leliana further added while Gilead pondered her words, "You and Brosca are heavily competitive and possess a love for archery and folklore. Cousland and Tabris are fiercely proud, determined and dedicated to their families and to their people. Aeducan and Amell possess great pride in what they are and-"

"Enjoy rubbing it into people's faces to where they're driven insane." Leliana had to agree with Gilead's assessment, "We would be at each other's throats if not for this Blight. What we went through at Ostagar more than proved to us what was truly important."

"Ostagar...none of your fellow wardens ever speak of it. Could you tell me what happened?" Leliana carefully inquired, "I know that it was terrible for you and you don't-"

"I suppose I could indulge that curiosity." Unlike some of the other wardens particularly Alistair, Gilead had managed to divorce himself from that fateful night to focus upon the future. Mostly because Gilead lost nothing at Ostagar save for his treasured bow, "I only as much as I remember before the darkspawn overwhelmed me."

"Tell me what you can...people will want to hear stories of your survival."

"In that event would you prefer a lie or the truth?"

"What would you want?"

"The truth of course." Gilead answered while the Bard waited for him to start his tale, "King Cailan led his army at the southern entrance overlooked by a great bridge. Duncan and the other Grey Wardens were with him in the vanguard. The plan was for myself and the others to light a signal in the Tower of Ishal within the fortress. When the signal was lit, Loghain was to lead his forces into a charge to entrap and defeat the darkspawn."

"But Loghain fled."

"He did, but looking back perhaps that was the best course of action that he could have taken." Gilead stated, knowing fully well that he'd best keep this opinion to himself or risk the wrath of his fellow wardens who were native to Ferelden, "By the time that our rabble of newly recruited wardens had come to the Tower, darkspawn had already emerged from a hidden tunnel and had overran it. Cousland managed to rally what remained of the garrison to help us win the entrance though few survived to retake Ostagar and fewer made it with us to the top floor."

"It must have been terrible." Leliana commented, "But I have heard of the ogre that was at the top, how did it get up there?"

"There were five of them and I'd guess that they climbed or are more nimble than they'd let on." Gilead figured, honestly uncertain about the answer himself, "All I know is that myself, Amell and Aeducan rode an ogre as it was cast from the top floor and crushed it's back on Ostagar's stone floor. Soon afterwards, the Tower was lit, but by then, it was too late. Perhaps the fog of war had been shaken from my elven sight, but I saw the endless reaches of the horde spanning as far south into the wilds as I could spy. I initially forgot due to my haste in battle and because of my eventual injuries, but I knew then that the battle for Ostagar was lost before it started. Whether Loghain had charged or not, nothing would have changed."

"You sound as though you agree with his action..."

"I cannot pretend to know his exact intentions, but retreating was the best decision that he could have made on that night. Or else more souls would have been pointlessly sent to through the Beyond."

"I see...thank you for telling me."

"Thank you for listening, recounting the story was honestly more troubling than I had anticipated." Gilead admitted to the bard, "But, it is best to let these things go rather than hold them in."

"That...is..." Before Gilead to question the girl's sudden reluctance, her eyes widened in glee as she spotted something in the sky, "Look! Shooting stars!"

"Is that so?" Gilead followed the girl's eyes up into the sky where indeed several stars where shooting across the night sky...


Spoiled Princess Upper Floor

"Brother?" This was not the time. "Are you alright Revan?"

"Shatele?" Especially since Revan was currently in the middle of coitis with a strangely naturally blue haired elf whose nails dug into his back as he grinded his "third arm" in an out of her tight "front bottom". Further complicated by how Lily had decided to brush his "Fade Mark" and activate his Spirit Aura.

"What's wrong shem? Scared of getting caught with your cock stuck in the honey pot-" The girl gasped when Revan thrusted up to his hilt and held on even tighter, "Is that all you got? You've got size...now use it!"

"Revan?"

"I am...tired...at the...moment..." Revan was caught between his own unleashed sexual hunger and his own desire to keep Shatele from entering the room. Lily wasn't make things any easier due to her moans of clear pleasure, "I am...feeling much better!"

"I bet you are..."

"You're not helping!"

"I thought was..."

"Is Lily in there with you?"

"Yes and we're playing a game that needs a lot of concentration and-" Revan gasped from the tightening of Lily's insides, a result of the rhythem that the two of them had managed to find that both obviously liked. Revan could feel his concentration begin to slip, the enrapture of feeling his shaft within this toned, slender elf caused his heartbeat to increase and the aura of the Fade thickened on his body, "Only...two people can play..."

"She could watch-"

"She's my sister."

"Oh wow...I...sound like...slut...right now...don't I?"

"Okay...I'll just leave you to rest and play games." Shatele called through the door, "Hope you win brother!"

"I think that I can manage." Revan sucked on Lily's neck and licked down in between her breasts before settling on the nibbling the left nipple. His choice caused Lily's back to buckle and her grip to tighten as she climaxed. Soon after that, Revan savagely increased the pace of his thrusts amidst Tabris' bliss and finally unloaded after he had thrust all the way within her.

"Yeah...you win...this round..." Lily managed when Revan prepared to pull out and ran into a problem that Lily felt, "What's wrong?"

"I'm stuck." The City Elf let out a loud laugh as Revan glared up at her, "This isn't a problem?"

"Guess I'm the tightest girl that you've ever been with?"

"Seeing as that this has never happened before, you try and guess..." Revan answered as Lily kept laughing as Cousland remembered a trick from a mutual friend, "Isabella did say that this would loosen up any queen..."

"What are you doing-" Revan thrusted further into Lily, catching the elf by surprise before he kissed her and tickled her stomach. The elf laughed in his mouth and when Revan tickled further down and did that. Feeling a firm hand performing that action caused Lily gasp and climax again which allowed Revan to pull out after some effort. Effort which caused him to release partially within Lily's opening and upon her stomach and breasts as he gasped in relief.

"I can't believe that worked..."

"Can't believe I'm saying this...but I wouldn't have minded you being stuck...a little longer..." Lily laughed again, feeling thick semen drip out from her vagina, "And don't make me regret this Revan..."

"You won't-"

"You sure, cause I'm hurt already..." Lily mock-complained, "I'm probably gonna be a pariah to the resident dalish and you're too ashamed of me to get caught by your little sister?"

"If you recall, my last lover was an elf. And besides...having Shatele here would make things...awkward."

"Awkward? Are you a naughty brother?"

"No! She's my sister! What's wrong with you?"

"I just got fucked and creamed by a human noble with a penis as thick as a fist and wrist. And I'm in the best mood that I've ever been in over a year." Lily replied, reaching down taking some of Revan's essence onto her tongue, "Now I have a question for you-"

"No." Revan quickly answered to Lily's surprise, "I don't want this to be a one-time thing before you even start."

"Really? What if I want it to be a one-time thing?"

"I highly doubt that you'd impale yourself on a human cock knowing it would deflower you and expect it to be a one-night stand."

"Alright...I won't try to bullshit you." Lily cuddled next to Revan and kissed the side of his neck, "But don't think that you've got me as your lady fair just cause you bedded and marked me. And if you share your bed with another woman, I'll cut off your balls."

"What if said woman is my sister?"

"Other than your sister and it better be nothing more than a..." Both partners shuddered at the very thought of incest even if Lily knew that there was no way that Revan and Shatele were biologically brother and sister. Even then, the idea still seemed wrong, "So...I'm up for another round if it'll scare away the disturbing thoughts."

"I can oblige." Revan grabbed Lily's hips and impaled her upon his erected lance while she kissed him even as her lower body began to instinctively grind upon her partner.


Spoiled Princess

"And there at last I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the mountainside!" Mckellen finished his tale, the crowd of drunken mercenaries and bar attendees including a large "vashoth" named Adaar looked on in awe and amazement at what they had been told by the elder Enchanter, "Any questions?"

"You're making it up."

"And your tale of surviving Ostagar by riding a flock of pigeons is any less fanciful?"

"Honestly, I was unconscious and didn't ask questions about how I survived." Gimli answered Mckellen while the two of them puffed in their pipes, "But, I've gotta be honest. If you knew that the demon was coming, then why didn't you break the bridge after you crossed it? Or just shoot it from the other side? You really didn't need to break your back or nearly die, especially at your age."

"Fair enough...but that was 20 years ago when the damned Orlesians tried to take over the tower."

"This was not the first time that your tower had been conquered then?" Durin inquired, impressed by the smoke rings that the old enchanter blew out, "It's a wonder that the magic knights are able to police your affairs at all."

"Magic knights?"

"He is new to the surface old friend." Wynne explained with humor, "He believes that the templars have magical abilities."

"I keep telling him that it's just the lyrium, but that's only encouraged him."

"And yet he's not the stupid one in the group."

"Hey!" Alistair yelled in objection to Morrigan's quip, "I am very smart! You're the one who doesn't know who Andraste's husband was!"

"I thought this Andraste lady died a virgin?" Gimli asked, "You mean she got shacked by some barbarian with a shaggy beard before she "knelt" before the Maker?"

"As Brosca has pointed out, how does ignorance of history make one less intelligent?" Durin asked the ex-templar, "On this thread of strange logic, let me ask you a question. What was the name of the first Warden?"

"I don't know-"

"His first lover?"

"Eh..."

"How about the name of the first Archdemon?"

"Dumat-"

"Do you know this for certain? How about the second Archdemon?"

"I don't think that they had names-"

"Do you think or do you know? In your viewpoint, it seems that ignorance is the same as stupidity and yet this makes you more stupid than a mindless dog." Rabbit growled in objection to Durin's statement as the dwarf tossed the dog a bone that it happily chased after, "So shall we put that to rest?"

"Quite the observation Lord Aeducan," Morrigan complimented the dwarf exile, "So shall I be forgiven for not knowing some tart's husband?"

"That "tart" is Holy Andraste and you shall give her your respect!"

"Okay...who is Andraste?" Durin inquired to Wynne's annoyance and Morrigan's humor, "Why should we give veneration to a hallucinating woman who was tied to a stake, set on fire and stabbed as she burned? What makes her worthy of worship?"

"Indeed...does this make me stupid for I know no answer Aeducan."

"Stop messing around Morrigan! Even the Qunari know who Andraste was!" Alistair turned to a nearby Sten who was munching on a third jar of cookies, "Sten! Do you know who Andraste is?"

"No."

"Really?"

"Qunari pay no attention to delusions and make-believe gods."

"Tell us what Qunari believe in then!"

"No." Sten answered Alistair who now felt very silly in that moment, "When the ships of the Antaam land upon your shores, you will know for yourself."

"Wouldn't they have to stop fighting Tevinter first?" Shatele inquired when she rejoined the celebrations, "That war is still being fought, no?"

"Finally! Someone whose on my side!" Alistair exclaimed happily and found that he had embraced Shatele. He immediately released her and backed away before he spoke, "Ah...so...where is...your brother?"

"He's fine now. He's playing-" Something in Shatele's visage betrayed that she was about to say something that she shouldn't say before she settled herself, "I mean! He was too tired to play and went to bed early."

"And Tabris?"

"She went to sit on the roof and try to find a shooting star." The girl answered, "I would so love to join her...but I don't have a wish for the star."

"Magic Knights that fail in their duties; Kings who are too easily betrayed by their lords; The central tenet of faith is centered around a woman who was burned and stabbed and now you humans apparently make wishes on flying celestrial objects?" Durin shook his head in utter confusion, "The surface baffles me constantly."


Spoiled Princess Upper Floor

"Why the hell do you have that dress?" One of three guards asked as Skinny Frank held a dress from that he stole from a city elf up to his face and inhaled. Their boss was a tan-skinned thick-skinned man with a small head and a large pot belly. But, one would be surprised at just how good he was at killing people, "Seriously..."

"Reminds me of the last elven lass that I fucked and then gutted."

"Nevermind." The three guards waited in Frank's crowded room for their fourth member, the scout. Said scout finally entered the room with a half drained pint of whiskey, "Really man?"

"This is gonna be easy! Two of the warden's are in the room across from us! Banging like rabbits!"

"How the hell haven't we heard any of that shit?"

"They're getting rowdier downstairs thanks to the dwarves." The scout replied and drew out his loaded crossbow, "Makes my job easier."

"Can't we watch them?"

"Tell ya what...we'll kill the Rivaini, then ya'll can take turns with the elf and then we'll kill her." Skinny Frank offered while the pointman shuddered, "What are ya, gay?"

"I have a foot in both camps. But honestly, I'm not too comfortable with raping someone-"

"Pussy! More for the rest of us right?" A larger ex-knight asked to the boasts of the other guards as they started sneaking across the hall, already hearing loud moans from the room of their target, "Speaking of pussy...wonder how good that elf?"

"Look! We are not going to rape her!"

"Don't you hear the Rivaini? That guy is humorless as a Qunari on the john!" The ex-knight pointed out while hearing a stern male voice gasp with clear enjoyment, "I want some of what he's got..."

"Stop stroking yourself, we've got a job to do." Frank stated to get his men in line, "We're gonna have to stay close to the wall if we want to get out of here and get the reward."

"Then what are we waiting for?" The scout kicked in the door and immediately fired his crossbow. The guards gasped when the bolt bounced off of some kind of translucent white-blue being who was thrusting a third arm in and out of a blue haired elf, "Eh..."

"Lily..."

"Why'd you stop-" Despite her ectasy, Lily's eyes narrowed at the stunned scout that was aroused, frightened, confused and amazed at what he saw, "Like what you see? Time to pay the peeking fee."

"Fee-" A thrown knife embedded itself in between the scout's eyes as two of his compatriots and his boss ran into the room to earn their bounty. Still connected at the hips, the Blue Rivaini pushed down Lily and seemed to fire a surge of energy that enraptured, crushed and threw one guard out through a wall; and the ex-knight's sword was snapped in half after being blocked by the blue rivaini's arm and left vulnerable to a deep paralyzing stab just underneath his ribs.

Skinny Frank blinked at how quickly two of his men had been disposed and how his third minion was standing in the doorway watching the entire scene. Frank moved with surprising speed to avoid both a thrown knife and another burst of blue energy as he ran towards his targets. Any doubt that the point-man had concerning this mission was confirmed when the Rivaini grabbed the ex-knight's sword and used it to block Frank's duel strikes aimed at his neck. Which left him vulnerable to a twin stabs that punctured the underside of Frank's belly and to be stabbed and thrown out through the previously made hole in the wall.

The next action for the remaining scoundrel wrote itself.

"Okay. I'm done." The Point-man saw no further reason to throw away his life and promptly dropped his weapons. Not even his cock dared rise despite the alluring view of his former targets still in coitus, "I never liked that fat bastard. I didn't like any of them. I didn't like working this job. Can I go home?"

"Okay."

"Start running."


Spoiled Princess

"I can't get over it! You're so ignorant of how the world works that you don't even know how much silver equals a sovereign!" Alistair laughed at Morrigan's expense just as a terrified guard ran out of the inn, "Every child knows that 100 silvers equal a sovereign."

"I thought we had put this line of thought to bed." Durin stated as Shatele suddenly coughed up her drink, "I know the line is terrible, I knew it as soon as I uttered it. But tell me, if you are so smart Alistair then you can tell me how Duncan perished."

"What? He was killed by the darkspawn-"

"I mean, how did Duncan die? Was he stabbed or-" Alistair smacked over the table and stormed away as Morrigan laughed while Durin looked at the toppled table in puzzlement, "You didn't answer the question."

"I don't know! How did you kill your brother?" Alistair asked the now stern Aeducan, "Cut his head open? Gut him open and let him bleed to death? Or did you castrated him with a blunt spoon and horrified him to death when you cooked and ate his cock?"

"Why would I use a spoon?"

"You tell me. How did you kill your brother?"

"I punched him in the throat. He attacked me and I attempted to work out a compromise. He refused and kept ranting about his own inferiority towards his younger brother...it kept going on and on...so I punched him in the throat to shut him up."

"You killed your brother because he wouldn't stop talking?"

"If you knew Trian or had a brother like him, you would understand. But did you have a brother?"

"I..."

"No need to answer, your own logic has invalidated your intelligence-" A loud boom sounded from outside that shook everyone from their seats, "Was that the sound of stone striking the earth?"

"You don't know-" Gimli looked out a window and saw a rain of glowing rocks streak across the sky and shook with terror when several rocks hit the ground, "THE SKY IS FALLING!"

"Skies fall'en? RUN FOR YA LIVES!" Oghren and Gimli both cried out in despair and fear while more booming sounds came from outside and the more drunken denizens joined in the panic like chickens who had lost their heads. The Wardens and their companions immediately ran outside to check upon this strange phenomenon.

Immediately regretting it when another star struck just in front of them and knocked them all off of their feet.

"Perhaps charging outside when the sky falls is not an intelligent idea."

"Pashera...the sky has not fallen. This is a meteor shower." Sten explained to Aeducan as the group regathered themselves, "Has your Chant held back your knowledge this much?"

"I am new to this surface and I know nothing of this meteor shower."

"I guess you're the new stupid one in the group!" Alistair remarked with a bitter laugh as they all spied a blue glowing rock in the middle of a deep crater in front of them, "It looks shiny."

"Are you sure that sky hasn't fallen?"

"Look up and you will see that it is still there." Sten stated to the skittish Gimli who seemed afraid that the sky would smack him for looking up at it, "The Tamassrans have no knowledge of where these rocks come from. But they are said to be fallen stars that lose their power and so lose their ability to stay above the earth."

"So the sky ain't gonna fall and crush us?" Oghren asked as Revan and Lily exited the inn, "Where the hell have you two been?"

"I was resting and heard a loud noise outside." Revan explained, buttoning up his tunic as Shatele smirked to Revan's subtle annoyance, "Is everyone alright?"

"I felt like my heart was about to leap out of my chest...but I'm alright..." Gimli answered while still hugging Kalah to himself like it was a protective blanket, "I've only been on this blasted surface for a month and just I've come to accept that I won't float up into the sky, suddenly rocks fall and I'm terrified enough to think that the SKY IS FALLING!"

"THE SKY IS FALLING WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE-" Oghren was kept from spreading any more panic thanks to being smacked in the head by Surana's staff and fall flat onto his back.

"Anyone else want to panic?"

"Isn't that a little excessive?" Lily asked the fellow elf who shrugged while a nearby Mairon emerged from the crater with the smoking rock in his hands, "How are you not getting burnt?"

"Magic. Jealous? Too bad! I'm keeping this one." Mairon laughed while juggling the rock in his hands and ignoring his burnt palms as if he didn't care about any pain that he would be feeling, "So where was the warning Tabris?"

"Warning?"

"Yeah...Shatele said that you were on the roof watching the shooting stars. It would've been nice to have a warning." Morrigan slyly noted, "No matter."

"Is anyone hurt?" Leliana inquired when she and an injured Gilead asked when they rejoined the group, "Marvelous night..."

"Apart from you almost dying and my arm being wrenched from it's socket-" Gilead screamed when Surana suddenly reconnected Mahariel's arm back into it's socket with a healing spell, "Why did that hurt more than it should?"

"Lealion? What have I told you about sudden healing?" Wynne rebuked her former apprentice, "This shower appears to have affected the greater area. We should look for any survivors."

"Why?" Gimli asked and then quickly answered his own question, "Dead or alive, they'll have a lot of loot."

"Shame on you."

"What? It's a long road old woman, we're gonna every bit of loot that we can find." Gimli remarked just as a man with raised hands approached the group, "Whose that?"

"Didn't we tell you to run-"

"You did. And I was running when the sky started falling and...well...I saw it as a sign." The man explained to Lily, "In fact...I was just about to tell you who hired me to kill you."

"What?"

"So you were hired to kill us, the meteor shower killed your group and now you've had a change of heart?" Revan asked the man who nodded as if trying to silently beg for his life, "Could you show me where you were to met your employer?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I know things look different right now-"

"Meteors tend to do that, calm yourself." Sten rebuked the shaking mercenary as he, Revan, Gimli, Lealion and Leliana looked up a deep crater in the middle of a path leading out from the lake, "This is convenient."

"I suppose their plan was to have us attacked at the inn and then lured here to where we would be ambushed and killed?" Revan asked the mercenary who nodded, "Alright, you can continue running."

"I say we shoot him-"

"Put that piece of wood down."

"It ain't just a piece of wood honey!"

"Hey look! An old couple!" Surana yelled pointing out to where a pair of elderly civilians were climbing out of the crater, "Are you alright over there?"

"We're fine! Thank you! The Maker has answered our prayers!"

"How?"

"We found a baby boy!" The old wife held up an infant wrapped in cloth for the wardens to see, "It's a miracle that he survived."

"How did a child survive that? The crater is still smoking."

"Maybe the kid was in the meteor?" Gimli asked and was ignored, "Yeah, I thought that was stupid too."

"There are a few corpses around here...some more recognizable than others though." Surana inquired as the group scattered out and searched the bodies littered around and within the crater, "One of them was a mage."

"One of them knew a friend of someone named Red Jenny."

"This one collected Qunari swords and...sold them..."

"This one has a detailed account of targets that match all of us including...Rivani who thinks he's Ferelden?"

"And this one was very hot..." Surana shook her head in disappointment as she passed a very handsome tattooed elf and gasped with hope when she heard the man stir, "Got a live one!"

"Heal him as much as you can!"

"That's why I'm here."


An Antivan's Dilemna

"He's waking up." Zevran opened and saw three upside down red-haired ladies staring down at him spinning in a circle around his dimmed vision, "Hello? Can you hear me?"

"The voice of an angel..." Zevran muttered in the throes of his stupor. A stupor that quickly weakened when he recognized other faces around him to be those of the wardens that he had been sent to kill. Not to mention the small inconvenience of being tied up with rope and chains.

The chains would be kinky if not for the situation.

"Might I ask why I have been tied up? Not that I don't mind-"

"You tell us, crow." The blue haired elf, Tabris if the assassin could remember correctly, "Our friendly bard says that you're an Antivan Crow. Is that true?"

"My reputation proceeds me then?" Zevran asked with a smile only to be received with frowns, "Tough crowd."

"The sky fell a little while ago, we're not in the most happy of moods." Gimli said to the dalish elf's amusement which earned the elf a sharp elbow to the stomach, "I'm also new to the surface, so care to explain what an Antivan Crow is?"

"Crows are birds, this elf is not a bird." Durin muttered to himself, "How can he be a crow if he is not a bird?"

"I am pretty like a bird." Zevran asserted in an attempt to charm his way out of the situation or at least into the bed of one of the nearby beautiful women that stabbed him with their eyes, "I also happen to know many bird songs-"

"No need."

"Good sir, might I know your name?" The Rivani Ferelden, Revan inquired politely though Zevran could feel the man's hatred, "I am Revan of House Cousland and Grey Warden of Ferelden."

"And I am Zevran Araini and might I say that your ebony skin is beautiful-

"He's trying to charm us, can I kill him now?"

"Now, now, let's not be rude to this handsome traveler," Leliana suggested to Lily, "I am not the only one curious as to why an Antivan Crow has gone through all of the effort to make his way to Ferelden."

"He's an assassin, he was likely here to kill someone." Shatele guessed, "Who exactly were you going to kill?"

"I was here to kill the Grey Wardens." Zevran saw no point in hiding the truth, "All of you in fact, except for the lovely lady crowned with the sun's yellow silk within her hair."

"You were going to capture me, rape me and sell me to Howe for an additional bonus?"

"Shatele..."

"Brother! I know how men are...especially this scum."

"He's an assassin, if Howe wanted you-"

"Actually the girl is quite astute, I was going to capture her and then give her to Howe so that his son could rape her." Zevran confirmed to the disgust of the Cousland siblings, "And...though rape is an especial evil that I do not debase myself to commit...I was perfectly willing to chance charming into her sharing my-" Upon seeing Revan's glare, Zevran silently chose to keep from finishing his confession.

"That plan won't work obviously, so what's your new plan?"

"Eh, I was thinking of joining all of you." Zevran replied and waited for a chance to speak further before any objections were heard, "I say this in full awareness of my situation. I am fully aware that you have reason whatsoever to trust me-"

"You heard him! Kill him-"

"Halt Brosca! Perhaps we can make an arrangement."

"I like this dwarf, he doesn't want me dead and his beard is quite...alluring." Durin paused in confusion as Zevran signed, "The truth is that I am essentially a dead man in the eyes of my fellow crows. We are tasked with slaying our targets or dying in the attempt. So I am in a bit of a predicament. I have not died, yet I have been thwarted quite handedly by the design of fate through means that no man on this world could possibly foresee or prepare against."

"You've gotta be made of something tough if you're still alive when sky falls on you."

"I also like this dwarf! He smells of blood and piss and...honey?"

"It's what I use for my brew!"

"Charming." Zevran complemented Oghren, "In any case, I happen to like living and I want to keep living if at all possible. So here is what I propose. I work for you, I protect and serve the Wardens of Ferelden for as long as you deem necessary until my death. As a bonus, I am also trained in infiltration, entertainment, physical therapy, linguistic training, and various methods of murder involving poisons, knives, swords, and even your bare hands."

"What about feet and hair?"

"I did kill a pirate once..."

"What does that have to do with anything-"

"With the hair on my back."

"How...You know what? I'm gonna take your word for it," Lily stated, her knife still gripped in her hand, "And what's stopping you from betraying us like you just betrayed your former employer?"

"As long as the sky doesn't fall on me again, we should be fine." Zevran answered, "I also happen to know intimate information concerning the movements of Howe and Loghain's forces for the next month or so."

"How?"

"I knew a pirate who..."knew" Howe..."

"Isabela?"

"Isabela, you know her?"

"She's the one that taught me everything I knew." Lily answered and caught a questioning aside from Revan, "Yeah...everything..."

"She was a good teacher then." Revan laughed while Lily rolled her eyes and most of the wardens missed a great deal of subtext between them except for Gilead who shook his head in detached disappointment, "In any case, you won't worry about the sky falling on you if you betray us. I'll gut you myself, understood?"

"So you will accept my deal?"

"You're making a unilateral decision for this entire assembly without consulting the rest of us?" Durin inquired, more angry than curious, "Unless you intend to hire him as your personal assassin, in which case, fine."

"That's not fine! He outright admitted that he's doing this to save his own skin!" Gimli objected, "If we're not going to kill him, we should at least tie him to a tree and leave him there!"

"What? That would kill me...kill me! Imagine all of the women and men who would take advantage of a helpless beautiful elf!"

"Stop being so melodramatic you're embarrassing me." Gilead rebuked as Zevran chuckled, "You believe this is a game? Do not think that we will not kill you, crow."

"He's more useful to us alive than dead." Morrigan remarked, "And if he does betray us, then we kill him like all of our enemies."

"All deserve a chance for repentance in the eyes of the Maker." Leliana stated though her visage was less warm than her words, "Let him have a chance."

"He's funny, but I say kill him."

"The blue-elf speaks wisdom for once."

"I have a name Sten."

"I am sure that it is a lovely one."

"He's a murderer that was hired by Howe..."

"I prefer the term assassin..."

"But...he's sorry for trying to kill us."

"Sorry wouldn't be-" Noticing a gesture from Shatele's hand, Zevran realized that this lady was giving him a chance to more greatly secure his survival, "Yes...I am very remorseful for following my orders and wish to make amends...along with living. But the lady is right, I am sorry for trying to kill you. Especially after the giant rock that nearly killed me."

"It was the sky!"

"Against all of my better judgement, I suppose we'll need everyone that we can gather to fight the Blight and Loghain." Alistair wearingly accepted and groaned when Zevran gave the ex-templar an innocent and somehow attractive "sad puppy face", "Stop that!"

"Then we are agreed! Now untie me!"

"Nah...We're not that dumb." Oghren spoke for the group as they decided to leave their newly recruited assassin hanging upside down above the Lake.

"Brasca."


Author's Notes:

Yeah, I picked on Gimli a little bit didn't I?

Just think about it from his perspective. Imagine if you lived all of your life underground to where the idea of a sun and sky are ludicrous to your understanding. Then you leave the underground kingdom that has been your world and step out into this open surface with a wide sky that you're afraid of falling up into. Just as you start to become assured that you won't get swallowed into the sky, a meteor shower appears and now you know that rocks can fall from this wide sky and kill you.

In fact, how do you think a newly surfaced dwarf in Dragon Age would react to other events like storms, tornadoes, floods, or even earthquakes? The surface world suddenly seems like a very terrifying place to live.

And before you say anything...yes, what happened to Revan during coitis is very possible. Look up "Penis_captivus", it has happened, I didn't make it up. I know that I was probably having a ridiculous amount of fun with the two-part lemon scene. But I made sure to try and keep it plausible, at least by the standards of a setting where: demonic dragon-gods lead armies of zombie-orcs; Magic Knights addicted to drugs police mages on the fear that they'll slit their wrists; and where everything has been stuck in the middle ages for over a thousand years.

Anyway, hope you're enjoying the ride.

Later.