MERLE

"He has to come out sometime," said Parker over dinner as he, Merle, Daryl, Michonne, and Hans sat at the kitchen island picking at cornmeal and gopher.

Merle, who hadn't seen Milton in four days and hadn't spoken to Andrea in just as many, wasn't concerned in the least, but he had to admit that a future with no Milton to make fun of and no Andrea to throw sexual innuendos at was looking quite bleak. Parker had been locked out of his and Milton's shared room and was now sleeping on the couch on the main floor, which scared the shit out of Merle when he came down at three in the morning looking for a light snack. It was Rick who suggested giving Milton time to cool off once Merle and Andrea explained (separately, of course) what had gotten Milton upset in the first place.

"He'll come out when he's ready," said Hans, fishing a chunk of gopher out of his bowl and wrinkling his nose at it.

"How d'we know he didn't just die up there or maybe kill 'imself?" asked Daryl, running his finger around the rim of his own bowl to get every last bit of food.

"For one, he ain't got the balls t'do it 'imself," said Merle. "And I've heard 'im takin' a piss at odd hours when he thinks everyone's asleep; if he was a biter, he wouldn't be needin' t'do that, would he?"

"That could've been Andrea," Parker reasoned. "They're still sharing that bathroom."

"And Milton could've hung 'imself," Daryl chipped in, "We'd never've known—"

"Why don't you all stop discussing how you think he offed himself and go up there to check on him?" Michonne suggested.

"We've all tried already," said Hans. "He wouldn't open it for any of us."

"Not everyone's tried," said Parker as he spooned the last of his meal into Daryl's bowl, looking green in the face again. "Rick did, but Beth was going to have a shot at it by pretending that she needed someone to watch the baby."

"He's smart enough not to fall for that," said Michonne with a roll of her eyes.

"You never know. Beth can be very persuasive."

Merle tried to contain a snort, but only succeeded in nearly making a loogie shoot out of his nose, so he wiped the back of his hand across his nostrils and jabbed his spoon at Parker. "We all know how persuasive she can be, Parker, but I think you'd know best."

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Parker tersely.

"Oh, don't you two start," said Hans before Merle could respond. "That last thing we need is for you to be at each other's throats and then one of you finds a room to lock himself up in. We're some of the last adults in this world, fucking act like it, will you?"

They heard the front door open and uneven footfalls followed by Maggie and Beth's voices as they tried to dissuade their father from whatever it was he was about to do.

"Daddy, he doesn't want to see anyone."

"If Andrea can't reach him, I doubt you can."

"This has gone far enough," said Hershel, and Merle was actually pleased to hear how angry the old man sounded. In his heyday, Hershel probably could have given Merle a tussle for his money, but in his wizened age, his voice was enough to command authority. "We're a group, and to function as a group we need everyone doin' their part. Hidin' up here because of a bruised ego and an injured heart is not an acceptable excuse for lettin' the rest of us down."

Merle heard Hershel's hobbled footsteps and then a pounding on Milton's door.

"Milton, you open this door right now."

"I'd rather not, and I can guarantee that if you could see me now, you wouldn't want me to go anywhere near that door," came Milton's reluctant reply.

"I wouldn't be standin' out here preparin' to blast a hole through it if I didn't want you to come outta there."

"Feel free to break the door down, but it won't make me come out."

"Now you sound like a child throwin' a tantrum. There's not a shroud of common sense in what you just said, but if you're gonna act like a kid I'm gonna treat you like one. I'll count to three and then I'm comin' in."

"I'm asking you to just leave me alone in here until I want to come out. I don't trust myself around other people right now."

"You're backpedalin' on everythin' you've worked for, son, and if you don't get help, you'll be in that room for the rest've your life."

"However short that may be," Merle mumbled into his cup.

"If you can think of a better solution than me taking a bat to Merle Dixon's face the next time I see him, I'll open the door," said Milton after a brief pause.

"There's tons of loopholes in that proposal," Parker observed. "Hershel just has to say that Milton could take a tennis racket to Merle's face instead."

"Don't think I won't knock out all them pretty white teeth just 'cause you're still on the mend," said Merle, holding up his middle finger to Parker as he used his spoon to scoop up the last of his cornmeal.

"Shhh," said Hans as the sound of the door opening upstairs reached them.

"That's another thing," Merle stated, slapping his cloth napkin down on the counter to address Hans. "What is it with you always shushin' people? I'm so damn tired of hearin' 'shhhh' every time we get a good argument goin'. Say that one more time t'my face and I'll—"

"Merle, my dad wants to speak with you in the livin' room," said Maggie, popping her head into the kitchen.

"Is the social recluse in there?" asked Merle.

"Yes."

"Then I ain't goin' in."

Daryl, Parker, Michonne, and Hans all pushed against Merle's back at the same time so that he was forced to walk out into the hall, then take a sharp left into the living room where Hershel was sitting on the larger of the two couches with Milton at his side. The old man motioned for Merle to sit on the smaller sofa, as far away as Merle could be from Milton while still sitting. Rick and Andrea followed Merle and the others in so that everyone except the children were present.

"Is this an intervention?"

"Something to that effect," said Hershel, patting the sofa armrest and Merle flumped down, resting one foot on the coffee table.

"I've spoken to Milton about this and also to Rick, and we've agreed that the best thing to do to avoid further conflict is to separate you two."

"That's it?" said Merle. He had expected a four hour speech on the importance of all humans coping with their fellow survivors to live another day.

"No, it isn't," said Hershel. "We need to establish what that phrase means."

"If we're going to continue living like this for as long as we can, I will not condone any more self-righteous shit from him," said Milton. "He's an abusive, egocentric bully—"

"You're just too delicate t'handle it, son."

"Merle, shut up," pleaded Daryl.

"If he puts his hands on me again or does anything to antagonize me, that'll be it. I've let him walk all over me and bury my face in the ground as he wipes the shit off of his boot and into my hair. Just let it happen one more time and I'll put a bullet in his useless fucking face," Milton told the others without looking at Merle, and the fact that he didn't have the balls to look Merle in the face as he said it was the last straw.

Merle drew back his fist to really break Milton's nose this time, but Hans intercepted him, blocking the attack and pushing Merle's arm away. Shoving Hans aside and knocking him over the couch, Merle turned his back fleetingly on Milton, bringing his right leg up and in a wide circle to come around and clout Milton in the side of the head with his ankle. Milton had seen Merle use this attack dozens of times in the Woodbury arena, but Merle was betting that the little fucker wouldn't have expected to see it used on him, and he was right. Dazed by the hit, Milton fell sideways into the reclining chair where Parker sat, sending both of them into a sprawled mess on the floor.

Taking advantage of Merle's pause, Hans moved back in front of him, daring him to try pushing him aside again. At the same time, Milton stood up and raised his own fists to defend himself, prompting Rick and Michonne to drive him back. Merle tried to get around Hans when he felt someone jump on him from behind and hold on tight to his neck.

"Calm down!" shouted Beth's voice next to Merle's ear as he tried to throw her off.

Parker and Daryl joined in to restrain Merle while Maggie and Andrea guided Milton out of the room.

"Get off!" Merle hollered.

"You'd better quit it right now, or this is gonna get ugly real fast," Daryl warned.

"As long as he's involved, it'll always be ugly," came Milton's voice from the hall.

"Bring your lil' punk ass back in here, boy, I'll skin you alive!" Merle bellowed.

What happened next was something Merle never would have expected as Hershel held out his pistol to Merle. "You wanna ruin everythin' you've accomplished since leavin' Woodbury, take this gun and shoot yourself through the head." Merle stopped fighting back, but remained upright with Parker tugging on his handicapped arm, Hans hanging off of his other, Beth still clinging to his neck, and Daryl trying to bring him down in a choker hold.

"You put effort into gettin' this far, but if you're willin' to throw all've that away because you don't know when to quit, save yourself the trouble and put a cap in your own skull."

Merle straightened up, prompting Beth to slide off of his back and Daryl to release his hold on Merle's neck, though Hans and Parker didn't let go of his arms. Regarding the pistol with uncertainty, Merle glanced from it to Hershel.

"If y'want me gone or dead, y'just gotta say so, old timer."

"I want your head screwed on right, son. I want it out've your ass and in a position t'think about someone other than yourself for once. We need you, we need Milton, and if you make a move t'hurt him, we lose both've you. The only way I don't see that happenin' is if you avoid each other completely. Unless there's an emergency or meeting that calls for the two've you t'be in close proximity to each other, don't go anywhere near him. Don't talk to him, don't look at him, don't come within twenty feet of him. Children can handle those directions just fine; let's see if grown adults can too."

/ /

Grown adults could handle a simple arrangement such as the one Hershel and Rick had decided upon, but sometimes adults needed an outlet, and that was just what Merle needed as well. He knew he couldn't very well leave his post on watch duty, so he waited until Parker came to take over for him to jump the wall and head off into the woods to find himself a biter or two whose brains he could bash in. What he hadn't anticipated, though, was Parker abandoning that same post to come after Merle.

"Get back t'your post, pretty boy, or better yet, get lost."

"No one goes outside the wall after dark alone," said Parker, treading after him and making almost no noise.

"Them rules're for the general population, not the hunter gatherers," said Merle.

"Well, the fact that I'm with a hunter gatherer should make up for me breaking curfew, then," said Parker brightly.

"Lemme rephrase this: beat it or I'll—"

But Merle was cut off before he could promise Parker a painful death as Parker made a kill the music gesture and knelt down. Merle followed suit, hearing voices not far off and concluding that there was maybe four or five men headed this way. He and Parker were hidden in the bushes, but they could see flashlights bobbing in the darkness about a quarter of a mile off. The people holding the flashlights weren't troubling to keep their voices down at all, something born of either confidence in numbers of arrogance and stupidity. As they drew closer, Merle could make out what they were calling.

"Come back to Terminus, Eddie."

Merle froze wondering who Eddie was and if he had possibly passed by Groverfield earlier that day, but immediately unfroze when he realized that Parker knew about Terminus and therefore must know about Eddie. And for those bits of coincidental information to fall into place at this moment was enough for Merle to suspect that Parker might draw on him at any second. He brought his assault rifle to Parker's head.

"You lyin' son've a bitch—"

"No, listen," Parker pleaded and Merle heard the voices calling again, though this time it sounded more like taunting.

"Come on home, Eddie. You don't belong out here. Come home to your nice, soft bed. Come back to that taste of fresh food."

"Your sister misses you, Eddie."

"Gareth misses you too."

"So they are lookin' for you. You've got a sister, don'tcha?"

"They want to drag me back there," said Parker, and it was clear that he was terrified, for he had thrown up his hands to show Merle he meant no harm. "It's been weeks, Merle, why would I have someone weeks behind me to attack your people? The fact that they came by here is just coincidence."

"I should let 'em have you if you're gonna be this much trouble protectin', Eddie."

"I don't need protection. If you want to send me on my way, I'll go—"

"You're not goin' nowhere. How d'we know you ain't gonna go right back t'the Termites'n tell 'em where we are?"

"Because I'm a good person. Even with them force-feeding me and beating the shit out of me, I still managed to remain a good person and I thought you people were too. Most of your friends trust me now. I saved Milton's life and Beth's and even Carl's. I saved yours at the wall and you'd hand me back over to the Termites after that?"

"No, I'd hand you back just 'cause I don't like you. It don't add up t'me. Why're the Termites still lookin' for your sorry ass two months after y'left? Y'must be worth more'n you're lettin' on if they ain't given up the search yet. If they thought y'couldn't survive on your own, they'da figured you t'be long dead by now, so why're they all the way out here now? Can't be t'help recruit more cannibals. Do they think your face is just too handsome t'let go?"

"You know why they kept my face intact, Merle? Because they liked me pretty for when they fucked me. That's what they do to half the people who say no before they eat them; they rape them. And they raped me a lot. Happy now, or do you want to see my abused asshole to be satisfied?"

Merle had met a lot of men like himself who had been kicked around by their fathers. He had met women who had been raped by family, friends, and strangers. But he had never met a man like Parker who had been used as something of a sex slave by cannibals after the world went to shit and still managed to have the strength to flee. Despite the odds stacked against him, Parker was made of sterner stuff than Merle originally thought. The man was almost as badass as Merle when he had to saw off his own hand. Almost.

"I'm used to begging," said Parker when Merle still hadn't spoken. "I had to beg them to stop hurting me, otherwise they'd keep going all night. I had to beg them to take my sister and me in. So I'll beg you now, please—"

"Don't," said Merle. He didn't know if he just couldn't stand to hear Parker submit himself, but Merle did not want the man pleading for anything from him—ever. "You can stay s'far as I'm concerned an' I won't tell no one 'bout this, but you gotta forget we had this conversation. You gotta start over'n forget 'bout Terminus too. I don't ever wanna hear 'bout the place or the people ever again, unnerstand?"

"I can do that."