28 – Not a Given
The Headmaster's Office had presence. Snape felt it the moment he walked through the door, overwhelmed by the towering bookshelves, portraits of former headmasters eyeing him, and Fawkes perched above Dumbledore like a bodyguard, waiting to strike at any moment should anyone or anything make an alarming gesture to the Headmaster.
Dumbledore seemed to sense the anxiety in his student. "Fear not, Severus. Fawkes never brings harm unless there's reason."
"Yes, sir." Snape watched the bird from the corner of his eye. It wasn't moving at all—its eyes stayed glued on him, the way the mother bird evaluates potential harm around her nest. His hands were in his robe's pockets, and he could feel them start to tremble. How was he going to pull this off? This might have been even worse than having Slughorn standing by—now he had to contend with all of the portraits and the phoenix bodyguard while doing the Dark Tourist Curse.
"Now, why don't you tell me more about your request to speak in private."
"Yes, Headmaster. I wanted to tell you more about this horned beast."
"And why couldn't you tell me this in front of Professor Slughorn?"
"I—I didn't want to get Lily in trouble." Snape's eyes fell to the floor. "You see, it was her idea to go into the Forbidden Forest, and I know how much Professor Slughorn respects her, and I didn't want to get her into trouble. And I really did see something come from its horns, so I wanted you to take a closer look."
The portrait of Phineas Nigellus Black coughed and said "liar" at the same time.
Dumbledore relaxed in his chair. "That's enough Phineas. Severus, are you sure that's the reason you wanted to speak to me in private? It seems like something else might be bothering you?"
Snape could only think about the blue wafers in his pocket. Dumbledore was on to his lie, but did he suspect more?
"Allow me to elaborate," continued the headmaster. He leaned back in his chair. "I've watched you around her."
"Who?"
Dumbledore smiled. "Lily of course. I have no doubt that you would guard her with your life."
"Well, I certainly—I mean, I…"
Dumbledore chuckled. "I see not much has changed since we met that day at the fair."
"I remember when we met. I was only—"
"So it surprises me you admitted she planned this little trip into the Forbidden Forest. You know, that's against Hogwarts policy and can bring severe detention. "
Snape looked to the ground ashamed.
Dumbledore studied the young wizard's expression carefully. "It tells me that if you wouldn't shield her from detention, then there was something much more serious happening—beyond the injury that is. And what you're wanting to talk to me about in private, is that."
"How do you do this?" blurted Snape. Snape's hands were trembling even more violently, and he whipped out the poster of Tom Riddle. It was all that he could think of. He placed it on the headmaster's desk and walked around to the same side as Dumbledore. Fawkes let out a shriek.
"Severus?" Dumbledore raised a hand to the phoenix, which continued to cry out. "Fawkes, shhhh. It's okay."
"Sorry, sir. I need to show you this up close." Snape moved next to Dumbledore and pointed to the picture of Tom Riddle with his left hand. In his right, he took out one of the blue wafers. "I found this in the Forbidden Forest, which alarmed me because…. Because I could see visions streaming from Mr. Riddle's eyes, traveling somewhere deeper into the forest. It was like the poster was sending something to someone."
Dumbledore looked at Snape as if he'd lost his mind. "Severus, why are you doing this? You have all you need right in front of you."
Snape's face went blank. "I'm not sure I understand."
"Remember the day at the fair? I couldn't tear your eyes away from that Ferris Wheel. Never have I seen a boy so in love."
"Sir, with all due respect, what does that have to do with this poster?"
Dumbledore smiled a sad smile. "You have her, Severus. And might I add from my years of experience, sometimes we only get to feel a certain way once."
"Sir?"
"If you're not careful, those mutual feelings can change directions as easily as the wind, and your heart can physically ache…" Dumbledore's eyes trailed off. "It's not a given that you'll end up with the love of your life."
"Look at the poster. Look at Riddle's eyes . There seems to be magic there…"
Dumbledore sighed and looked at Snape again. Then he adjusted his spectacles and leaned in for a closer look. Snape didn't have any more time to think. He held the blue wafer to Dumbledore's ear and snapped it between his fingers. The wafer disintegrated into a fine mist, and Snape closed his eyes, envisioning Dumbledore announcing to Hogwarts that Voldemort would be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. He whispered, "Solvo Phasma Phasmatis," and opened his eyes to see the miniature clone of Dumbledore hanging in the air, a doppelganger that quickly transformed into a cyclone, swirling into Dumbledore's ear as the headmaster stayed intently focused on the Tom Riddle poster.
It all happened so fast. Snape's hands were now literally shaking, but no one seemed to notice. The other headmaster portraits were quiet, and Fawkes hadn't even shrieked. Dumbledore remained hunched over the poster. "Hmm," he said. "Well, the poster certainly seems to have a magical aura about it, but I can't be sure. Mr. Riddle is a talented wizard. Perhaps, I'll have a chat with him when we comes in to judge this Christmas Challenge."
Snape placed his hands firmly on the desk to stop them from shaking. "Yes, I think that would be good."
Dumbledore leaned back in his chair. "Well, thank you for bringing this to my attention. If Mr. Riddle has added some kind of magical properties to this sheet of paper, that is very impressive indeed. Perhaps I should give him another shot at—"
"Another shot at what?" asked Snape quickly.
Dumbledore smiled at Snape. "Another shot at teaching here. He's a very talented wizard, and perhaps I was wrong in turning him down the first time."
Snape couldn't help himself—a smile stretched from ear to ear.
Fawkes shrieked. Snape's eyes went back to the phoenix. "Why do you think it shrieks at me?"
His gaze stayed on the phoenix ,and at that moment, a fine mist began swirling out of Dumbledore's other ear—it transformed into the likeness of the headmaster, a mini-doppelganger, and in a flash, it vanished. It had all been out of the corner of Snape's eye, though he hadn't seemed to notice because his attention was on Fawkes.
The phoenix stopped shrieking. Dumbledore took a deep breath and released. "Now that's better." He looked to the bird. "I suppose it's protective of me, Severus. What do you think?"
