5:30 pm—Stetson-King Household

Lee felt aimless. Yesterday morning, his first ambition had been to return home. Once there, his ambition had been to discover what fate had befallen his stepson, Philip, after hearing about the tragedies at the Twin Towers and the Pentagon.

Once Philip had been found, his plan had been to return to work and determine why there had been no active intelligence on this attack, and how to prevent another such attack from befalling the nation. Everything had gone according to plan—until he'd learned about the Colonel's fate.

Then, the world had stopped. As shocking as everything else was, the idea that Lee's only living family were the generations after him instead of before him—that he was the patriarch of the entire Stetson family—had made his world stop turning.

He hadn't even liked the man for most of his life, so it had come as a shock that Lee was going to actually miss him. But now, thanks to Francine's insistent shooing, he didn't even have the advantage of working through his grief. No, he was standing in his home, feeling more than a little bit aimless with nothing to do.

He should be doing something. He should be helping someone. People like him, with jobs like his own, were working around the clock in New York. And yet, he was stuck in Arlington, Virginia. Aimless.

"Mom's sick," Jennifer announced as she walked down the stairs.

Lee looked up, his brow furrowed in concern. "Sick?"

She nodded. "I guess she got the same bug I had yesterday."

Lee nodded. "I was afraid that might happen. I'll go up and check on her."

Jennifer nodded noncommittally as Lee's cell phone vibrated in the pocket of his jeans. "Stetson," he answered after he had put the opened cell to his ear.

"Lee, it's Billy Melrose."

He straightened in surprise. "I didn't expect to hear from you."

"I didn't expect to call you," the retired section chief, and Lee's predecessor, mentor, and friend, said with a sigh. "I heard about the Colonel. I'm sorry."

Lee's face tightened. "Thanks, Billy."

"I tried to call you at the office. That's when Francine filled me in and told me I could reach you on your cell."

"Any particular reason you needed to speak to me?"

"I got a call," Billy said after a moment. "They want to bring me back in and have me go to New York."

"Until they can restructure the New York office?" Lee asked, continuing the thought.

"Exactly."

"They made a good choice."

Billy sighed. "I wish they hadn't had to make a choice at all."

Lee couldn't help but agree.

"Lee, I called because I need to debrief you about the administrative meetings you were at in New York. If I'm going to restructure and run the New York office, I need to know what was decided at that meeting," Billy said, his voice reluctant. "I know this is a difficult time for you personally, but—"

"I'll come over tomorrow," Lee said instantly. "Amanda suggested I tape the meeting as well as make my own notes, so I'll give you a copy of the tape."

"She suggested you tape the meeting?"

A reluctant smile pulled at Lee's lips. "She says that sometimes she can't read my handwriting."

Billy chuckled, though his enthusiasm seemed far less exuberant than usual. "Who would have thought back then that putting you two together as partners would have been so permanent?"

"You," Lee said without rancor.

"Yes, but not nearly this permanent," the older agent said after a moment. "You two are a good team. You have been for a long time."

"Thank you."

"Lee, I can come to you tomorrow," Billy said after a moment. "You don't have to come here. You've got a lot on your plate."

"No, Billy, it's fine—it's good. I need to do something more than just—moping," Lee explained.

"Moping?"

"The Colonel's death hit me harder than I expected it would," Lee admitted.

"It's not like there was a lot of love lost between you two," Billy murmured thoughtfully.

"No, but maybe that's the problem. We'd just started to really respect each other, and then, as I was breathing a sigh of relief about Philip, I find out that it's really the Colonel who I should have worried about," Lee said with simmering frustration.

"Lee, you had no reason to worry about him," Billy murmured.

"I know that, but I still—I already felt like I'd let people down, but to add the Colonel to that list was—it was just too much."

"You feel guilty for surviving."

Lee sank into a chair and hunched over in defeat. "Yeah, it was a fluke—I missed my wife and daughter, and so I came back to Arlington early. I should have been there."

Lee winced momentarily. If he'd been speaking to any agent besides Billy, he would have made a stunning revelation, but that admission had come only a few years earlier after another set of distressing circumstances—a Russian agent who had targeted his young daughter for assassination.

"And if you had been there, we would have been worrying about finding yet another section chief," Billy reminded him.

Lee raked one hand through his hair. "I know."

"You should call your therapist."

"Who said I have a therapist?"

Billy chuckled. "When I had your job, I had to get a therapist. I figured you'd have to succumb in order to cope."

Lee nodded. "Right. Well, I don't know—I'm not really in the mood to talk. To anyone."

"Even Amanda?"

"Especially Amanda," he sighed. "You know, Jamie was talking about how he didn't want anyone to see him look weak, and I have to admit—I know exactly how he feels."

"Lee, you can't carry this burden alone," Billy said soberly. "You have to talk to somebody. PTSD, Survivor Guilt—these things aren't just nightmares. They're real."

"I know."

"It's good that Francine's in charge of the DC office."

"I should be helping," Lee murmured as he stared at his hand, knowing how weak and useless it was right now.

"You are helping. You're taking care of you so that when you come back, there's still strong leadership."

Lee closed his eyes. "I wish there wasn't a need for strong leadership right now."