The months following were some of the longest of Lin's life. For the sake of the charade, she and Tenzin continued to be distant. Lin threw herself into her work in order to forget about her loneliness. When she was left with her thoughts too long, she always wondered if this had been Pema's intent: to make her miserable and keep Tenzin all to herself. Then she had to remind herself that Pema was a good person and friend, and Tenzin wasn't hers to have anymore.
Would this be her life? Working double shifts whenever possible? Going home to an empty apartment to wallow in her thoughts with only books and her dreams for company? No. She convinced herself she was only acting this way until the wedding was over. Then she and Tenzin would see each other again…as friends. And Pema was her friend too. Lin was determined her future be full of evenings on Air Temple Island with those she loved most.
The night before the wedding, Katara demanded Lin and Toph's attendance at dinner. Air Temple Island was a bit of a zoo. Firelord Zuko and his family were visiting for the wedding, as were Sokka and Bumi. The combination was enough to make anyone uneasy, and their time in the United Forces together had only increased the mischief they could get into. Kya and her husband came as well, and of course, Pema's parents and younger sister.
Socializing and catching up would have been a delightful time for Lin under different circumstances. As it was, however, everyone seemed to be walking on eggshells around her and oozing sympathy.
"I'm sorry about the baby, Lin."
"This all must be so hard for you, Lin."
"I admire your courage, Lin."
"I hope everything turns out alright for you, Lin."
Furthermore, all she wanted was to speak to Tenzin in private. Or at all. But every time she moved toward him, something or someone would get in her way. When she finally thought she'd have her chance, she was thwarted by Pema catching her hand.
"I want you to meet my parents," she said excitedly.
Lin was lead to them before she had time to reply, and Pema hurriedly poured out introductions.
"Finally we meet," Pema's mother beamed. "We've heard a lot about you, and not just from Pema. Everyone talks about you." The kindly woman lowered her voice a bit as if she were telling a secret. "To be honest, I was a little intimidated by it all. But you seem such a lovely person."
For a moment, Lin mentally entertained the thought of reliving this encounter in her metalbending uniform instead of the traditional gown she was wearing. It made it easier to force a polite smile. "I wouldn't pay too much attention to all that."
While Pema's mother was amiable, Pema's father was giving Lin a look that made Lin wonder just how much the pair knew about what their daughter had been going through for the last two and a half years.
After a few minutes of awkward conversation, Pema led Lin away from the hustle and bustle.
Where her face had been full of laughter moments before was suddenly painted with panic. "I don't know if I can do this."
Lin stared. Supposedly brides often developed a case of cold feet before their wedding, but something in Pema's tone made Lin's stomach flip flop. Why must she be the one to deal with this? She was possibly the least qualified to handle the situation. Especially since a large part of her was delighted and screamed for Pema to pack her bags and leave so she could have Tenzin back. "Why not?" she asked uncertainly.
"I asked the White Lotus for more time with one goal in mind. I was going to make Tenzin fall in love with me for real." She stopped and made a face. "That sounds bad. I wasn't seducing him or anything. I just… I just wanted to see if he did… love me, that is."
Lin couldn't think of anything to say that wasn't fueled by the mutiny of her heart against her brain.
"He's so kind, and I think he tried very hard, but it was never me he was thinking about, I'm sure of it." Pema sighed. "I know you're the last person who wants to hear all this from me, but I don't know who else to talk to."
In spite of herself, the news was reassuring. Tenzin would always love her, and her heart rejoiced. But that wasn't the point! Her mind asserted that Pema had to marry Tenzin, and he was supposed to love her. Lin swallowed. "It's okay. You can tell me whatever you need."
Pema nodded gratefully. "Well…Every time I thought I'd broken through, it was ruined as soon as he kissed me."
Lin shuddered involuntarily. Spirits, was she ready for this?
Pema didn't seem to notice though. "He might as well have kissed me on the cheek."
A sharp intake of breath from Lin. What she wouldn't do to have a mere kiss on the cheek from Tenzin then…
"I swear, we've never kissed," Pema said sadly, gripping Lin's arm and staring directly into her eyes. "Not really. I just… I don't want to seem selfish or anything, but I want…to be wanted. How can I go into a passionless marriage like this?"
It took Lin a moment to realize that Pema was waiting for an answer. "Oh honey, you have every right to be wanted. That's not selfish. But you need to put a little faith into this. You have to understand Tenzin hates change. It takes a long time for him to let things go. So, yes, he may continue to dwell on my, but as some point, he will let go. And he will fall in love with you. And then you won't have to worry about passion. You know he's capable of it."
Pema blushed.
"Pema?" Tenzin's voice called from down the hall.
With a sense of urgency, Lin whispered, "Can you accept that?"
Pema bit her lip but nodded. Then she took a deep breath and answered, "I'm here, Tenzin."
He strode into the room and blinked at the sight of Lin.
Heart pounding, Lin stole her chance. "Pema, may I have a moment to speak with Tenzin?" She offered a reassuring smile.
"Of course. Is there something you wanted though?" Pema asked Tenzin.
"I just wondered where you'd gone," he replied. "I'll be back to the festivities and by your side as soon as Lin's done."
Pema smiled on her way out.
The instant she was gone, Tenzin practically pounced on Lin to steal her mouth in a kiss.
She slapped him. "Stop it!" she hissed. "This is exactly what that poor girl is worried about."
"As she should be," Tenzin said callously. Lin glared, and he softened somewhat. "I need you, Lin. I've barely seen you in months." It had been eight months since they'd last kissed.
"I made a promise," Lin said, standing firm. "I promised Pema that you'd be faithful when you married her."
Tenzin winced.
"She's afraid," Lin said forcefully. "Tenzin, she says you haven't even kissed her."
"I have. Many times. Starting with the night I proposed," he retorted defensively.
"Brotherly kisses. Barely more affectionate than a peck on the cheek."
"You mean like this?" He craned forth his head to press his lips to her cheek. He kissed her with enough fervor to make her gasp. She shoved him away, but only after she'd taken a moment to bask in his love. She turned from him, clutching a hand to her cheek.
"You're marrying her tomorrow," she said softly. "And you realize the purpose of that is to have airbending children, don't you?" She took a deep breath. "You know what you have to do. I beg you to try your hardest to be sincere. Love her as she deserves."
Tenzin placed a hand on her elbow so she'd turn to face him. Then he embraced her with all his might. "I will."
The wedding was a quiet affair considering all the heartache and trouble it taken to make it all happen. It was better for Lin than she'd anticipated. There were no tears on her part. Though, she'd gripped her mother's hand tightly enough to leave a bruise a few times.
At the reception, Lin barely talked to the newlyweds more than the obligatory congratulations. Sokka and Bumi were trying their best to entertain her. She appreciated it. They weren't always passing her pitying glances or being unbearably sympathetic. In fact, most their conversation consisted of teasing Lin for all her life choices. Honestly, she wouldn't have had it any other way.
Eventually, the party died down. All too soon, Tenzin and Pema were getting ready to depart for their honeymoon at Ember Island. Oogi had been prettied up for the occasion by Kya and Katara. Lin tried to focus on how ridiculous the flying bison looked with his fur braided with ribbons because her heart ached whenever she let her gaze fall on the "happy" couple.
But Pema wasn't letting her get away that easily. The young woman trapped her in a giant hug and whispered in her ear, "Thank you for supporting me. I'm still terrified out of my mind, but I know everything will be okay because you said it would."
The words seemed to strike Lin across the face. When had anything been okay because she'd said so? Her life was so far from where it should have been. How much of it had she spent unhappily? She was the last person Pema should ever rely on. But she bit back her cynical comments and said instead, "Good luck, Pema."
And as she watched Oogi disappear into the sunset with Tenzin and Pema, all she could think was how much the poor girl would need luck. Spirits, would she need it.
A/N: Guys. I think this is the third to last chapter. I'm almost done. I'm almost done.
