*creeps in from around the corner* Hi guys. Okay, to start off I am SOOOO sorry about how long this has taken to upload. I'm in year 12 (senior year) and lets just say school is successfully destroying my social life at the moment (what social life?) BUT here is the next installment! I'll have the next one up as soon as I can. Thanks so much for sticking with this story for so long. 28 chapters is a lot! In view of recent events I just wanted to say that I love you all. You guys are Totally Awesome, and seriously mean so much to me.

Okay Without further ado, chapter 28 :)


Lauren looked around desperately trying to spot Brian, but she couldn't see him. It was dark outside, and bitterly cold. She regretted not bringing a jacket with her. Brian had actually recommended she grab one on her way out, but she thought she knew better, as usual. She got snappy sometimes, especially when she was told what to do. Maybe it was her way of proving she could be self-sufficient, despite her small size, but she couldn't focus on that at the moment. She needed to find Brian. She squinted, straining her eyes through the darkness along the road in front of her. She could hardly see the end of it, as the majority of the stationed street lamps weren't working.

"Brian?" She called out but no one answered her. She sighed heavily as she ran down the steps out the front of the theatre and spun around desperately looking in all directions, until her eyes landed on a large park. But it wasn't just any park. That was the park they stopped at, almost a month ago. Where they talked everything out; where they officially became an item. It was their park, and she knew instantly that Brian would be there.

Lauren stared at the entrance of the park for a moment before she headed over to it. She couldn't believe she hadn't realized before, how close they were to where it all started. Lauren entered the park and looked around. She spotted him sitting at a park bench with his head in his hands.

He looked so broken; so defeated. She'd never seen him like that before, and it broke her heart, knowing that she was the cause of it. She approached him cautiously, and quietly sat down beside him. He didn't look up, or acknowledge her at all, so she sat in silence and watched his body move in time with his heavy breathing.

"Brian…I'm so, so sorry…" She said in a soft voice after what felt like an hour in complete silence.

Brian remained silent, but sighed deeply at her remark. They sat like that for a few moments more before Brian finally sat up, leaning back against the bench, staring straight ahead. Lauren watched him closely. His eyes were red and puffy and it hurt her to see it. Brian sighed again before saying "I'm sorry I lost control in there… the others shouldn't have found out like that."

Relieved to hear him speak, Lauren answered almost instantly. "They had to find out at some point…." She replied softly. She spoke so quietly, and he could sense the fear in her voice.

The two fell silent once again. Lauren wanted to say something, but she really didn't know what. Honestly, the way he acted in the auditorium had shocked her. She'd never seen him so violent; it just wasn't who he was. Although, it was comforting to see how much she really meant to him.

"Did they say anything when I left?" He asked her, looking straight ahead.

"No" She answered. "We just stood there silently before I came out to look for you…"

Brian nodded in response but didn't say anything else. Lauren continued to watch him closely. She couldn't read his expression. She had no idea what he was thinking. His face was straight, and his eyes were vacant. He seemed so deep in thought. Lauren wondered what was going through his mind and what he might say, but he said nothing, so she sat silently beside him, quietly panicking to herself about what would happen next.

Brian sighed again. He didn't know what to do. He was trying so hard to quiet his thoughts but everything was still spinning. He had no idea what to think. How exactly was he supposed to react? Darren was his oldest friend. And Lauren, the one person in the world he felt truly understood him. The girl he had loved for six years now. He just couldn't believe this was happening. Just when things were going so well, just when everything was going to work out and they were going to be happy; it just didn't seem fair. He noticed Lauren move in the corner of his eye and finally glanced slightly in her direction. She was shivering severely and her lips were beginning to turn an off shade of purple. It was a really cold night and he knew it would be. He'd warned her, but she hated being told what to do and she was so stubborn. Probably the most stubborn person he knew. Brian shook his head before leaning forward and taking off his own jacket. Lauren looked over as he moved and watched him. He placed the jacket on her shoulders before leaning back again, without meeting her eyes.

Lauren snuggled into the jacket. It was much too big for her, but it was warm, and comfortable and comforting. They sat quietly again before Brian finally cleared his throat to speak.

"I'm… I'm struggling to understand a lot of things right now…and… unless I say something now…we'll probably sit here in silence for the rest of the night."

Lauren watched him silently as he continued. "Here's the thing… I love you. I'm in love with you…I have been for six years. I've never felt this way about someone before… and I guess… I guess I used to believe that you felt the same way."

"But I do! I love you so much…"

"See, I don't think you do… at least not as much as I love you. That much is clear."

Lauren's eyes widened as he said this. "How can you say that? You know I love-"

"Just… just let me talk okay?" He interrupted. "I blame Darren for what happened, but what he said had some truth to it. If you really did love me, as much as I love you, as much as you say you do, you wouldn't have done it. You wouldn't have kissed him. I know because I would never do that to you."

"Brian…" Lauren started but her eyes began to tear up again as her breathing became ragged. "It was a mistake…I don't know what happened. I don't love him. I love you..."

"Lauren, you know… I can't stop picturing you with him… and… You have no idea how much it kills me."

Lauren didn't say anything. Her eyes had gone blurry from her tears, but she knew she deserved to sit there and take everything he was saying. He had been nothing but faithful, loving and devoted since they started this relationship.

"I just… I don't understand, Lauren…" He sighed as his voice broke slightly. He felt his eyes tear up slightly, but breathed in deeply to calm himself. He didn't want to cry in front of her. "I don't understand why you did it." He continued. "I mean, it's one thing that he kissed you, but you kissed him back. You made out with my best friend. Did you even consider how that would affect me? Did you think of me at all?"

"I …I don't know what happened... My mind was thinking of you, and I tried to stop…but it was like, I was just… caught up in the moment… I don't know… but, it wasn't the same as when I'm with you. It felt empty. It didn't feel right so I pulled away. I don't love him."

"You say you don't love him… but I can't understand why you'd kiss him back if you didn't have some feelings for him. He'd already kissed you once. Shouldn't that have been enough?"

"Brian." She pivoted in her seat and grabbed his arm, looking into his eyes. "I don't know what I was thinking… I really don't but I'm positive I don't want to be with him. All this time, all I've wanted was to be with you. You don't know how much I regret going over there. I wish I could take it back, but I can't."

Brian sighed in response. "Lauren, that's all well and good, but you don't have a reason for kissing him. You keep saying you don't know, right? If you had no reason this time, you won't need one next time. How do I know that won't happen again?"

Lauren didn't answer.

"It's so hard… I love you so much, and I'm ready to spend my life with you…but what's the point if I can't trust you?"

"But Brian-" She started.

"I mean…. I'm not going to control you Lauren. I can't forbid you to see him again. I'm not going to lock you in the house. Am I supposed to ban you from hanging out with other guys? No. That's not who I am, and no one deserves that. So what am I supposed to do? How was I supposed to react?"

"Brian, you have to believe me, I didn't want this. I want you and only you. I promise it won't happen again."

"But how do I know that? I believed that before, and look where we are now."

"Brian. I love you. I love you and I want to have this baby with you. I want to raise a family with you. You wanted that too right?"

"I… I really don't know what to think anymore"

Lauren stopped as tears fell from her eyes. No… no, he couldn't be saying this.
"Brian…"

"You know, I think…." He looked at her, just for a moment as his eyes held the gaze of her large brown ones. She looked so scared and it hurt him too much to look at her, so he looked away before continuing. "I think I need a break…"

Lauren shook her head as she let out a sob. "You can't mean that"

Brian stood up, without making eye contact. He sighed heavily as the pain in his chest deepened. He closed his eyes tightly in an attempt to stop himself from crying. He didn't want to leave her. He just needed to figure things out. And he couldn't do it here. "I do." He said in a husky voice. He glanced only a small moment at Lauren, long enough to see her broken gaze before turning and leaving the park as a single tear finally fell from his eye.


I'm so sorry, please don't kill me.