Confirmation Bias
It was like a six way standoff you always saw in the Erusan westerns. No one knew where to look and everyone was on... edge. I cautiously stole a glance at Kei to see her still giving a confused stare at the man she had addressed as uncle.
"What's going on?" Petra asked in very quiet, venturing voice.
"I'm not quite sure," I whispered back, keeping my eyes on the two unknowns.
"What are you doing here?" Kei asked after another moment of silence. "Last I heard from you, you were still off in Usea being a freedom fighter," Kei said somewhat accusingly. The man she was addressing raised his hands as if in defense and chuckled slightly, either not catching on to Kei's distaste or ignoring it.
"I learned what I needed to and got away from that place," he said in a smooth, nonchalant voice. "I needed to get back into the sky, but I didn't trust myself enough to take the reins of a plane so..." He lifted his hands from his sides and dropped them. "Here I am."
"Here you are," Kei echoed lightly, no emotions playing across her face to tell me what she was feeling or thinking.
"You gonna' introduce me to all your friends or we just gonna 'continue to make it awkward for them?" he asked after a couple more moments of them facing off. Kei seemed to break out of whatever trance she had been in and looked back at us, as if realizing for the first time we existed.
"Right," she began bashfully. "Captain Irving," she began professionally, making me cringe slightly at the formality she was forcing. There was a look in her eye that told me she wanted me to continue the charade for now, at least. Why she wanted to hide our less-than-formal relationship from someone she called uncle was beyond me but I decided to play along for my own well being. "This is Larry Foulke, he," she looked back at him before looking back at me. "He was a close family friend." Was?
I walked forward to shake the man's hand. It seemed that Kei didn't have the best relationship with him at the moment but being flight lead meant I was friends with everyone. Or at least friendly. As I shook his hand, he gave me a surprisingly white smile.
"First Lieutenant Larry 'Lancer' Foulke," he said, a pained sort of expression crossing his face for a fleeting moment as he told me his call-sign, only to be covered back up by a forced grin.
"Lancer. How'd you-" I began to ask, looking to see if I could get an explanation before the man interrupted me.
"It's a long story," he man said, his grin faltering for a moment. "One I think we can delve into over a meal," he said in a suggestive tone. I simply nodded, unsure of what to think of the man. Once we released hands, I swore I heard everyone behind us release some sort of collective breath. We began to head towards the main building for some dinner. I was leading the group of people with Grimm, Sylvia and Kei in one group and Larry hanging behind them. I began to wonder where Petra had gone when she popped up next to me.
"We call him Big L," she began abruptly.
"Where did- what?"
"Larry," she said plainly as if we had been in an hour long conversation. "We call him Big L over the radio. It drives him nuts so we do it," she said with a large grin.
"What's the deal with that anyways? He seemed... touchy," I asked her, hoping for a little background on the man before we got elbows deep with each other. Petra took a glance back at the man who was looking everywhere but nowhere.
"It's probably best he tells you himself. It's a kind of personal thing," she said as she brought her gaze forward again. We had taken no more than four steps when she started talking again. "So North Point, huh?"
"Yeah," I said with a smile. I was glad that the new members of the flight, save one, seemed to be melding with us pretty normally. Actually... I glanced back at Grimm and Sylvia who were giving each other strange glances between their curt conversations. Kei had her hands shoved in her pockets and was looking at something to distract herself from whatever mood she was in.
"I bet you miss the caribou hunting," she said as if it were the next logical topic. I gave her an unbelieving stare.
"How did-"
"Well," she began with a smile. I now noticed in this close proximity that she too had very faint freckles on her face. "It was a shot in the dark as to if you've ever been," she told me, using her hands to an equal extent as her mouth to try and convey her message. "But I knew that if you had been, you were probably missing it like... well... like missing caribou hunting." I couldn't help but laugh at her way of communicating as well as her accuracy at my longing for a good hunt.
"It has been a while," I began wistfully, thinking back to the last time I had gone.
"Been a while since what?" Kei asked as she joined me and Petra, obviously tired of being on her own with her mood.
"A good caribou hunt," me and Petra said almost simultaneously. We quickly faced each other with child like excitement over such a trivial occurrence, grinning at each other like we had just won some award. Kei on the other hand had no happiness on her face. In fact it was quite stoic. I got the sense she wanted to do something, but she always kept glancing over her shoulder and when she saw Larry, she just gave a frustrated sigh.
For the first time in days, our table felt full again. The painful reminder of Chopper that had been an empty chair was now filled three times over. I chose to sit at the end of a table with my plate of food waiting for the rest of my flight. It wasn't long before Petra showed up and sat across from me eager to continue the good conversation we had been having on our way inside about who had the most snow days growing up. Grimm sat on my side as Sylvia elected to sit across from him. Larry continued the trend of a 'new comers' side and sat beside Sylvia leaving a seat for Kei beside Grimm. A seat that Kei seemed very dissatisfied with.
Petra and I had finished our meals long ago but were still sitting at the table. Grimm and Sylvia had left at uncannily close intervals and Kei had left only ten minutes after she had been seated, beating Grimm and Sylvia by another whole ten minutes. Petra and I had just finished getting over a joke we had made about tourists who always packed to light when she glanced to her side and saw Larry waiting patiently to speak to me.
"Well," she began, putting her hands on the table in finality. "It was great getting to know you," Petra said, giving me another one of her giant grins.
"Same here," I told her, still smiling from our joke.
"But as much fun as it was speaking to you, I think I'd better let Big L get some talking in." She stood up and grabbed her dishes. "I'm looking forward to working with your flight."
"Same here," I told her as she nodded and walked off. Once she had left the room, Larry slid over to her spot.
"You two certainly hit it off," he said with a smile.
"Yeah," I said a little distantly.
"Kei looked a bit miffed about it though," continued.
"Yeah," I said a little more thoughtfully, pulling myself out of my thinking about how great my socializing with Petra had been and remembering Kei's sour mood after Petra had landed. "What was up with that?" I asked myself more than Larry.
"She could be a little jealous that her boyfriend had a good time with another woman," Larry said out of the blue, his knowing grin never leaving his face. I stared at him in shock. "Or maybe it's me, what do I know?"
"How-?"
"Did I tell you I knew Kei a while back?" he interrupted.
"No," I said after a moment. "In fact, you haven't told me anything about yourself."
"Well, you were a little... occupied." I turned red though I wasn't sure why. I hadn't done anything wrong, I was just having good conversation with another one of my other wing-mates. "No matter, you're free now."
"Right," I consented, already wanting this conversation to be over. "So, how did you get the name Lancer?"
"It all starts about fifteen years ago," the man said, cutting right to the chase. "I don't know how much Kei has shared with you-"
"I know her father is Cipher," I told the man.
"Is that all you know?" he asked after a significant pause. I was suddenly unsure about how well I knew Kei. And how much I should trust whatever I was told next. "Okay, well, I'll try to prevent from spilling too many secrets; there are probably some things she hasn't told you with good reason." My arched eyebrow only got arch-ier. "So, you know that Cipher was Kei's dad who was also called the Demon of the Round Table." I nodded to show that this was common knowledge to me. "Well, I was his wing-mate."
Questions flooded my conscious mind after a half second delay. Records were always sketchy about 'The Demons' wing-mate near the end of the war. Some say he never left, some say he left and was replaced, some people even believed that he had turned to an extremist group and tried to kill his former partner. That one always seemed a little extreme to me. But all these deeper questions were somehow pushed aside by the simpler one that escaped my mouth.
"Weren't you called 'Pixy' back then?" Larry raised his thick eyebrows, clearly just as surprised as I was at my first question.
"Um..." he began, trying to switch gears from where he had thought the conversation was going to go to where it actually was. "Well, yeah, that was my call-sign. But after my last battle with that name, I didn't want anything to do with it. Besides, Petra's already got that name and to be honest, it's a little more suiting for her to have it than me." I nodded, agreeing with him that a fighter pilot as deadly and, for lack of a better word, manly, as Larry didn't deserve a name that conveyed an image of a speck of light.
"What was so bad about your final battle with that name?" I asked unsure. Officially, Galm's last flight had been over Avalon Dam and had ended in the successful destruction of a V-2 multiple nuclear warhead missile. If I had won a battle like that, I would be keeping whatever name I had been called.
"Here come the questions I was expecting," Larry deadpanned.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"
"No," he interrupted. "It's fine. I wouldn't have started this topic if I didn't want to talk about it." He sighed heavily. It was a sigh that carried much more than the normal 'I don't want to do this but have to,' sigh. "Takuma and I, we had been friends for a long time." When Larry caught my confused arched eyebrow, he clarified. "Takuma is Kei's father. He was a first generation immigrant. His father..." Larry got a far off look in his eyes as if remembering something that was so unbelievable, it required full focus. "His father was one of the reasons that the Belken's hate people who aren't Belken."
"What?" I asked. "That made no sense."
"You ever here of the Suicide Squad?" I squinted to show my further confused state.
"The Suicide... What?" I thought about it and tried to think of when we were talking about. Then it hit me. "The Squadron from Tyler Island back during the Osean War?"
"That's the one," Larry said, a grin on his face as he went back to reminiscing for a moment. "Takuma's father was probably one of the best in terms of killing Belken pilots. Well, maybe until Takuma took to the skies himself. And when he did, there wasn't a time he wasn't up there without me. We had flown for a while before the Belken War, mercenaries tend to get a lot more action during peace time than pilots who are nationally tied. But he had met someone in Ustio when we were helping the Sapin nationals fight against their rebellion back in '84. He settled down, I didn't. We were still friends... but... when friends spend time away from each other, they change. He had himself a family, something to ground him. I found a different family, and time would end up telling me that it had been the wrong kind." Larry's enigmatic story was pulling me in more and more. I felt like a child being lured into some kind of fantastic bed-time story. Larry seemed to notice my anticipation for him to continue because he sent me what I could already tell was going to be a trademark smile.
"What do you know about the Belken War?" the man asked. "At least the parts that have to do with my old squadron, Galm?"
"What everyone knows," I told him simply. "You and Cipher were unstoppable, taking out Belken Aces whenever and wherever they showed up, all the while helping the allies push Belka back until..." I trailed off, no knowing how sensitive Larry would be to the mention of the bombings. "And then afterwards finishing off that terrorist group over Avalon Dam." The smile that Larry had most of the evening was gone and in its place, a somber and contemplative expression.
"Yeah," he said emptily. "That sounds like what they want 'everyone else' to think.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"You probably know by now that the government will try to do just about anything to maintain the illusion of stability and cohesion. It's the one rule that every government will agree on unilaterally."
"Yeah, you could say I've had a recent lesson in that," I said a little softly. Larry just nodded knowingly.
"Takuma and I, we had a difference in opinion that caused us to go separate ways on June 6th of '95," Larry said after a long pause. I recognized that date. Everyone did.
"That was the day-"
"Yeah." He took another deep inhale of oxygen. "I tried to kill him." I stared at him unbelieving of what I had just heard. "I had joined the terrorist organization. I had joined them long before the war. They had been my family and I had betrayed the only true family I had ever had for them. I was flying a prototype that day." only the faintest hint of an amused grin touched Larry's face as he remembered that day. "Say what you will about that organization, but that plane was one of a kind. And I tried to use it to kill Takuma." He shook his head and got down to it. "For lack of technical terms, we jousted until he bested me. Now I have this call-sign as a constant reminder."
"You know," I said after a long, thought filled pause. "You don't have to keep that name."
"No," Larry said quickly. "I need it. It's what keeps me grounded now. A reminder to myself to really think about where my loyalty should lie." There was another long silence before Larry suddenly spoke up, surprising me to the point of making me jump in fright. "So, now you know the story behind my call-sign and a little about why Kei was so icy towards me. All without me revealing too much that Kei has probably carefully hidden." That's right. Now I needed to talk with her. Larry began to get up and I followed suit.
"Thanks," I said putting out my hand for the man.
"For what?" he asked, genuinely unsure what I was thanking him for.
"For sharing with me. You didn't have to, but you did. I think it's going to be enjoyable to work with you," I said with a smile. His confusion quickly went away as he grasped my hand and put a smile of his own on.
"Same here."
We both went our separate ways after that. I went towards Kei's room to see if she was still awake and in the mood to answer some questions. Once I reached her hall, I was very careful to sneak down it. I knew that there was still an army, or air force, of woman in this part of the base and I wasn't keen on them being party to the conversation I planned on having with Kei. When I reached her door, I gave a silent knock.
"Kei?" I called out in hopefully silent voice. I was surprised when the door opened with Kei standing behind it in her lounging clothes, some sweatpants and her white tank-top.
"Hey Caden," she said just as softly. Her face was tired but I could still make out an angry twinge behind it.
"What's wrong?" I asked, partially already knowing the answer. She walked back into the room, motioning for me to come in to continue our conversation in private. As I shut the door behind me, she gave a great sigh.
"I'm only telling you this because we promised to completely honest with each other and it's probably best just to address this and get it out in the open anyways." she said quickly with one giant breath. "I felt... a little... or maybe a lot... jealous."
"About Petra?" I asked, already knowing the answer. All she did was nod. "Kei, we were just talking."
"Caden, how did we meet?" Kei asked with enough seriousness to make me think back to the time we had first meet.
"I shot you down," I replied. Kei rolled her eyes and attempted to slap me before I pulled back and gave a real answer. "We met in that hangar." She nodded.
"Why'd you change your answer?" It wasn't so much a real question as one to get me thinking. I decided to think aloud.
"Because we talked." Kei nodded her head like it should be clear to me now. I still wasn't tracking.
"When you were talking with Petra today, it reminded me of that time me and you talked. It made me think that maybe I wasn't as unique as I thought I had been to you." I began to see why Kei had been so hurt at not being in our jokes.
"Kei, don't ever doubt you're one of a kind," I said reaching out and putting my hand on her knee. "What you and I have is something completely different from what Petra and I were having this afternoon. And you can be sure that it's going to stay that way. Of course, I'll try in the future to not make you feel as left out." Kei began to tear up a little as she moved in closer for a comforting hug.
"Thanks," she said simply.
"I love you," I told her after a moment.
"I love you too," she said as she pulled back recovering.
"I'll see you in the morning," I said as I got up to leave.
"Yeah," she said with a smile that told me she was going to be okay. "See you then."
The next morning, I was awoken earlier than usual by a knock at my door. Once I had thrown on a pair of pants and an undershirt, I answered the door.
"Nice to see you don't answer the door in boxers anymore," Kei said as I opened the door to find her waiting. "On second thought..."
"What are you doing here?" I asked her before I could change color much more.
"We'll be heading to Cruik," she said in a somewhat disappointed tone. "We'll be leaving soon but I figured we could get something to eat before that happens. Care to join me?"
"Sure, just give me a moment," I told her, slipping into my flight suit and heading out with her to the mess hall.
Kei and I had eaten our meals together so often, some things we did were becoming second nature. Some of these habits were good ones, like putting our napkins in our laps. Kei said that one made her feel like an old married couple. The first time she had said that, we both blushed, but now, we didn't bat an eyelash at it. Other habits were ones that we both had to look out for and stop. One of those habits was holding hands after completing a meal. While it might seem harmless in any other setting, at a military base, it can be... troublesome. We were doing just that when Petra came in, apparently looking to tell us about a preflight briefing the Colonel was going to give.
Kei made the move to try and hide our display, but on a spit second decision, I decided to keep her hand in mine only for a fraction of a second longer. Just long enough for Petra to see. Kei got an embarrass look on her face but as she turned to try and hide it, I caught a little bit of appreciativeness in her eyes as well. Petra's reaction made her face change again however.
"I KNEW IT!" she shouted in excitement and joy as if she had won some lottery. Almost immediately, she turned to the shade Kei had been seconds earlier and looked around to see all the faces that were now trained on her, including Kei's whose expression was one of... well, it was actually quite an unreadable face. Petra lowered her voice to just above a whisper as she leaned towards us. "You two are perfect," she strained.
"Really?" Kei asked flatly.
"What, you don't think so?" Petra asked in a concerned and worried voice.
"No!" Kei said quickly and a little too loudly, drawing some attention of her own. "No," she whispered as she looked between me and Petra. "Just, I guess I'm just surprised you saw it is all."
"Please, a blind person could see it," Petra said rolling her eyes. "We'll have to talk about this more. Anyways, the Colonel is starting to fume and I think it be best if we joined him in the conference room quickly. Dose he always have a short fuse?"
"Yes," Kei and I answered simultaneously as we got up and left with Petra. We got to the room quickly and sat as the Colonel cleared his throat.
"Today, you will be assisting ground forces on an attack on the enemies so called, Impregnable Fortress. I want you to show those Yukes just how foolish it was to give that name to an obstacle in our path. You should have had plenty of time to get to know the new additions to Wardog, so I will now give CSO assignments. Wardog three will consist of pilot Hans Grimm and CSO Larry Foulke. Wardog two will consist of pilot Kei Nagase and CSO Sylvia Solburg. That leaves Wardog one as pilot Caden Irving and CSO Petra Abels. I expect nothing short of perfection out there Wardog. Dismissed!" Without waiting for ceremony, the man left as we began to head out towards our new F-15E's.
