Author's Note: I am so so so so so sorry! I seriously meant to only do a two week hiatus at most, but school only got worse, so I haven't been able to seriously write until Thanksgiving Break started, and for the past few days, I have been writing like mad, trying to get this arc written. So many details to balance! To be honest, the arc still isn't finished, but I felt so guilty about not posting anything in so long that I decided to post this early! Again, I'm super sorry. And to make this worse, the next few chapters (as expected) are going to hurt. I could not really work on this for too long without getting depressed while writing. I listened to a lot of Evanescence trying to get through this. Fair warning: Time will be wonky while reading the next two or three chapters. Eren's timeline is completely separate from Levi's, and I ended up doing a time skip in the next chapter, so if you get confused, just keep that in mind. Also, feel free to ask questions in the comments. I'll do my best to clarify things in the Author's Notes. Warning: This arc contains disturbing content. Please don't read if you are really sensitive, and if it all becomes too much, just stop reading, step away from the screen, and come back later. I won't mind; in fact, I encourage it. That aside, I want to thank everyone for reading, following, favoriting, reviewing, and PMing! Your praise means the world to me, and helps me keep going! (The reader counter passed 10,000 reads while I was on hiatus - Thank you!)
...
My mind feels so fuzzy… Where am I?
Eren tries to sit up, but finds that he can't.
Why can't I sit up? Why is it so dark? Am I blindfolded? And gagged? What's happening?
Eren tries to sit up again, but restraints keep him locked in place. He struggles against his binds, pulling and tugging as hard as he can. He hears a door open not too far away, and he freezes, unsure if someone is watching him or not. Eren tries his best to slow his breathing, trying his best to feign sleep as footsteps approach him.
"I know you're awake, so don't pretend that you aren't. That bastard that I hired used too much sedative on you. I was afraid he killed you, but you're clearly alive. In case you are curious, and I'm sure you are, you've been asleep for two days now." An unnaturally deep voice states, making Eren flinch.
"Mmmnnn! Mnn mmmm nnn!"
"Sorry, I can't understand you. Allow me to help."
Hands grab Eren's face and untie the gag and remove it from his mouth.
"Bastard! I'll kill you!" Eren yells in no particular direction, unable to see the man holding him captive.
Eren's captor mutters something to himself that Eren can't quite make out.
"… goal…"
"What did you say?"
"I'll tell you in good time." Eren's captor chuckles, making chills run down Eren's spine.
"What the hell do you want from me?"
"Oh yes, that's right. I'm just going to inject something in your arm and then I'll leave you alone for a while. I've been developing this formula for a while, and it's much better than the original, but it takes a lot longer to reach its full effect. I was waiting to make sure you were alive before injecting it because this stuff is expensive and time consuming to produce."
"Why me?" Eren spits, trying to lash out at his captor, but the restraints keep him firmly in place.
"There's a very short list of people who can survive the effects of the formula, and you were the best candidate, so here you are. You need multiple injections for the formula to take effect, so we better get started."
Eren's captor takes a step closer to Eren, and Eren begins to flail about violently, in a desperate attempt to get away.
"No! I don't consent to this! You can't submit me to this!" Eren cries, trying to pull his arms away from his sides.
"Quit struggling, it's not worth it…"
"Never!"
"Dammit, I need you to hold still!"
"Let me go!"
"Tch, you leave me with no choice…"
A rag with a sickly sweet smell is shoved over Eren's nose, the scent almost instantly making Eren dizzy and weak. His struggles become futile as a strong grip steadies his arm, and a pinch in his upper arm confirms that he has been injected with some foreign substance with unknown effects. Darkness starts to consume Eren's vision, but the rag is removed before he can go under.
"Are you still awake?"
"Bastard…" Eren replies weakly.
"I'll take that as a yes. That's good. I'll be back in a few hours with some food. You have until then to decide if you are going to eat your food normally like a good boy or if I have to put a tube down your throat and pump food directly into your stomach. The choice is yours."
The footsteps retreat and the door opens and closes again, leaving Eren alone in silence.
I need to get out of here! This guy… is holding me, and injecting weird stuff into my body… I don't know what it does or what it will do to me… I'm scared! I just want to be back home with my mom and Levi… Levi…. Shit, he still thinks I'm mad at him! How long will it take for him to notice that I'm gone? A day? A week? A month? What if I am here a month? Two months? Three months? Six months? A year? What if I never go home? What if I die here? Someone, anyone! Help me!
Eren begins to cry, a loud, obnoxious wailing of a lost child. The blindfold over his eyes keeps his tears from falling down his cheeks until he has saturated the piece of fabric so thoroughly that it begins to drip down his face. He tries to wipe his tears away, but because he can't move his arms, his tears just rest on his cheeks. Eren lets out a frustrated scream, hoping that someone will find him, help him, save him from this disaster. Eren screams again and again until his voice gives out from the strain, but still no one comes.
Please, someone come to me, wake me up, tell me that this is just some sort of twisted nightmare and that I'm going to be alright! Wake me up! Tell me this is all a lie!
"Please…" Eren whispers, his broken voice allowing him to speak no louder.
The sickly sweet scent from earlier pervades his senses, stealing them away as Eren surrenders to the merciful darkness.
…
Eren is shaken awake roughly by a set of hands.
"Wake up, you need to eat."
"How the hell do you expect me to eat if I can't move my hands and I can't see?" Eren replies hoarsely, trying to throw as much venom into his words he can.
"I'll feed you. Open your mouth."
Eren keeps his mouth firmly shut.
"I said open your mouth, brat!"
The use of such a familiar nickname by such an unfamiliar person, shocks Eren, igniting fury within him.
"Only-" Eren starts, but when something is shoved into his mouth, triggering his gag reflex, Eren is forced to stop. He chokes and promptly spits the food out, only to be slapped a split second later.
"Don't waste your food!"
A hand grabs Eren's face, forces his mouth open, and pushes in a funnel. A goopy sludge begins to pour into his mouth, and there is nothing Eren can do but swallow and try his best not to choke again. He futilely pulls at his binds, the cuffs on his wrists and ankles digging into his skin and rubbing as he thrashes about.
"L-levi, I'm scared."
"Of course you are, but I'm here and it's going to be alright." Levi whispers softly.
Levi's words from long ago echo in Eren's mind and his resistance fades as he numbly swallows the food forced into his mouth.
"That's a good boy." The deep voice purrs as the last of the food is swallowed. "Try to keep it down okay? If you can't, I'll have to punish you."
I feel sick. I feel violated. Everything. It hurts. I beg you. Please. Save me.
"I'll be back to check on you later."
The footsteps retreat once more, but this time, the empty silence is comforting rather than distressing.
If he's not here, he can't hurt me. If he's not here, he can't hurt me. If he's not here, he can't hurt me. Eren chants this mantra in his head over and over to calm himself down.
The disgusting flavor of the gruel he was forced to eat lingers on his tongue and burns painfully in his throat. His stomach clenches and threatens to send everything that Eren just ate back up, but Eren holds it down, fearing the consequences to throwing it up as his body wills him to.
Eren closes his eyes beneath the blindfold, retreating back into the comforting and welcoming darkness that sleep provides.
…
A loud obnoxious beeping startles Levi awake. He groans loudly and reaches over to his nightstand and slaps his alarm clock angrily.
"Shut up…" Levi grumbles, and rolls over onto his back, staring blankly up at the ceiling. He sighs loudly before getting lost in thought.
It's been five days since he was taken… Erwin doesn't have any leads and I've heard nothing from Kenny since I went to go see him. And my search has been a wasted effort. I've found my way through and around the underground looking for him, but no one has even heard of him, so I don't have any suspects or possible motives for his kidnapping either. I feel so… lost without my ray of sunshine. I guess this is a really messed up way of the universe telling me "You don't really appreciate something until it's gone." I've taken him for granted, the fact that he has remembered and accepted me so well, but until the misunderstanding with Erwin… And since he has been taken, I can't even try to make amends with him. I never realized how lucky I was. Even if I had never remembered him again, a life without him would be so… so empty. There are so many things I still want to say to him, so many things I want to do with him, but now… No, I will still be able to do those things with him. I must continue to hope and search, because if I give up, he's gone-
The alarm screams at him again, and Levi realizes that he had only hit the snooze button on his alarm in his haste to silence the beeping.
"I said, shut up!" Levi yells, slapping the alarm once more.
-forever…
Levi breathes a heavy sigh and heaves himself out of bed, getting up to get on with another meaningless day without Eren. He takes a quick shower and cooks breakfast, almost burning his eggs when he gets distracted by thoughts of Eren. He eats in silence, trying not to think of the time he made breakfast for Eren the first time he came over to Levi's house. The landline ringing pulls Levi from his thoughts, and he can't help but get excited.
Could it be that they found a lead? Or that they found him? Please tell me it's true!
"Hello?"
"Hi, Levi~! Buzz me in, please!" Hanji's annoying voice fills Levi's ears, and his spirits fall.
"Fine." Levi grumbles, typing in the code to let Hanji in.
"Thanks! I'll be up in a moment!"
Levi hangs up the phone, disappointed that he got his hopes up for nothing.
I should have known, since the call was to my landline. Erwin would know to call my cell if he had any news, so of course there wasn't going to be any news about him. I need to clean up a little bit before Hanji gets here…
Levi had just thrown away his barely eaten breakfast when Hanji knocks on the door. He quickly puts his plate in the waiting dishwasher, and goes to answer the door.
"Levi! Hi!"
"Come on in."
Hanji bounces her way into the apartment, almost forgetting to take off her shoes by the door, which in turn incurs a glare from Levi. She plops down on the couch and gets comfortable, and Levi grimaces when it reminds him of the last time one of his friends had come over to his house.
"Why the surprise visit, shitty glasses?"
"Oooh, grouchy hasn't had his morning coffee yet, hmm?"
"I don't need coffee; I'm just irritated by your presence."
"You wound me, Levi!"
"You should know by now that your infinite energy irritates me to no end. You're like a little kid."
"Oh, so it bothers you when I'm bouncy, but not when Eren is excited?"
Before she can even blink, Levi has slapped Hanji across the face, leaving an angry red mark on her cheek. There is a moment of dead silence as the two just stare at each other and shock.
"Hanji, I'm sorry, that was out of line."
"No, I'm sorry. I knew and I should have watched my tongue."
"You knew?"
"Yeah, Erwin told me. That's why I'm here: to check up on you."
"Again, I'm sorry about slapping you."
"I get it; you're frustrated about this whole situation, and for me to say something like that was bound to yield something like that. I deserved it."
Silence falls between them.
"Do you want some tea?"
"Yes, please."
Levi goes into the kitchen and puts some water onto boil before returning to the living room.
"What have you been up to Levi?"
"What do you mean?"
"You know exactly what I mean."
Levi doesn't answer Hanji; instead he retreats into the kitchen to get teacups.
"Cream or sugar, Hanji?"
"Sugar, please, and don't change the subject. What have you been up to? You went to the underground again, didn't you?"
"Is Earl Grey fine?"
"Levi! It's dangerous for you to hang around those people, after what you've done in the past."
"I'm still in shape, and I can still kick the ass of any bastard that comes at me."
"If the police see you hanging around those types and decide to check you out, it won't matter that Erwin's your friend."
"Then I won't get caught." Levi scoffs.
"Levi!"
"Sorry, Hanji. I'll do what I have to, and you can't stop me."
"You're right, I can't stop you."
Silence descends the two, and the water finally comes to a boil. Levi pours the hot water into two cups, puts teabags in each cup, and brings them over to the living room, along with some sugar for Hanji.
"Thank you. Have you gone to work since he went missing?" Hanji asks, spooning sugar into her tea and stirring it.
"I've been busy."
"Levi, this is not healthy. I don't want you to relapse."
"I'm an adult, I can do what I want."
"Do you want to forget again, too?"
"No…"
"Then please don't do this. I know it hurts, but you need to resume normal life. There are people who rely on you and people who care about you. Let us help you. Don't push us away again."
Levi looks up from his tea to look at Hanji. Her face is concerned, unlike her usual smile, and when he looks into her eyes, he sees fear, plain and simple. Levi sighs and takes a sip of tea.
"Okay. I'll go back to work tomorrow. I don't have any patients scheduled for today, so I'll still have today off."
"Do you promise?"
Levi rolls his eyes.
"Yes, I promise."
Hanji offers Levi a small smile, satisfied with Levi's promise. They sit in relative silence, simply sipping their tea, until Hanji bites her lip, her expression becoming uncertain.
"Umm…"
"What?"
"If it's not too rude, why wouldn't Erwin come talk to you himself? He asked me to check up on you and gave me a lame excuse for why he couldn't go himself."
"Did it not occur to you that I'm fucking furious with him?" Levi states coldly, putting down his teacup.
"It did, but I want to know. I don't want him to lose your friendship because of some trifle."
"Trifle? Shitty glasses, you have no clue what you are talking about! That bastard, that fucking bastard, came to me because his boyfriend left him, he got handsy, and now my boyfriend thinks that I'm cheating on him! And to top all of this shit off, I can't even talk to him, because he's been taken who knows where by some motherfucker and no one knows what the hell has happened to him and I can't find him! So, if you can't get it through your thick skull, I'm fucking pissed with Erwin, and I don't want to talk to him unless he has some sort of lead!"
"Why can't you say his name?"
"What?"
"Why can't you say Eren's name?"
Levi's face contorts into one of immense pain at the sound of Eren's name, and he opens his mouth to try to say that one word, the one word that means everything, but finds that he can't. Levi turns away from Hanji so she can't see his face.
"...e."
"What was that, Levi?"
"I said, leave. Get out of my apartment."
"Levi, I'm just trying to help."
"Well, you're only making things worse, so I suggest you leave before I punch your face in." Levi's voice is firm and cold, the weight of the threat hanging in the air between them.
Hanji gets the message and heads toward the door, deliberately taking her time in pulling her shoes out of the ones lined up by the door and tying them slowly, trying to think of the right thing to say.
"I'm sorry, Levi. I really am. Please don't let my words keep you from asking for help."
Levi says nothing and doesn't even look at his friend as she exits the apartment, lingering in the doorway before shutting the door softly behind herself.
…
Eren is still asleep the next time his captor comes into his room. He moves slowly and quietly as to not awaken the sleeping boy. He goes to Eren's bedside and sits next to him, watching him sleep. Eren's body twitches and convulses as he dreams, and the man watching him can't help but wonder what he is dreaming about. He takes Eren's hand in his own, giving it a comforting squeeze when Eren cries out in his sleep. Afraid that Eren is going to wake up and discover him like this, the man stands and releases Eren's hand.
"Oh Eren… I'm really sorry to do this to you, but this needs to be done. This formula will give you power, and this treatment will help you. It's for your own good that things are the way they are right now. I hope one day that you'll be able to understand what I did for you and for the world. One day…" The man whispers quietly, kissing Eren on the forehead.
He begrudgingly walks away from Eren, pushing up his glasses on his nose before taking one last look at the sleeping boy in the hospital gown before closing the door behind him.
...
Author's Note: *claps* Congrats! You made it through part one! I promise things will improve after next chapter, so please bear with me! By the way, as you may of noticed, I made a few references to Levi's past, and I plan on making more in the future. Confused? Everything (about his past) will be explained eventually. Leave reviews if you want a new chapter soon! (And feel free to ask questions: If I get enough, I'll post either a Q&A forum or I'll post an update specifically answering questions!)
