But I knew that wasn't the truth. I ran away from the evil in this world with the rest of our group, knowing I was leaving something behind, but not knowing what. I saw as Daryl had to be dragged away from the walkers, screaming something that sounded like a name.
Why would he not want to leave?
Why was he sobbing?
I've never seen Daryl cry.
Ever.
EPILOGUE
I walk numbly through Alexandria. I heard it didn't take too long for them to wipe out all the walkers that had busted down the walls. I wouldn't know; I was out for the whole thing. I don't really remember what happened, I only remember the pain. I was wearing a pair of sunglasses that Edith found for me, one plastic piece punched out.
My eye was a mess.
What am I talking about? There is no eye left.
Not that I care.
I don't really care about anything anymore.
All I can think about now is that she's gone. I haven't slept for more than a few hours in weeks. Every time I close my eyes I see her porcelain skin, the redness mapping out rivers along her body. Her blonde hair splayed out over her head like a golden halo.
At least I didn't have to see her face.
But I know what I would have seen.
Black eyes staring off into nothingness, completely white and cold. Hard as rock.
There would be no blush to indicate any life inside.
Just death.
At least I don't have to see that when I lay down and close my eyes.
I've been told I wake up screaming during the night.
I don't really care.
I can't help it. And I don't even feel sorry for waking up the whole town.
I don't mean to feel nothing.
I'm not allowed to go on runs anymore.
I'm stuck in this hell-hole.
That's not my fault either. I just happened to mistake a walker for Riley.
That happens, right?
Who am I kidding.
Who the hell has that happen to them?
I don't see where I'm walking, my legs just carry me. I am a shell of my past self.
Everyone keeps telling me that she wouldn't be happy with how I carry myself now. That she would want me to be how I was. Happy like before.
But I can't.
And I can't see her saying that either.
The only thing that I could see her saying is for me to 'Get my fat butt up and suck it up'.
It's hard though.
I can't tell you how many times I have accidentally ran into someone.
Most times I find myself standing at her grave.
Not her real grave, cause we didn't have her body to burry. But we made a spot for her anyways. It's nothing much. A simple cross made of two sticks and a shoe lace that belonged to one of her old shoes.
That's where I find myself today. Standing in front of that tiny cross.
And something snaps.
I rip the cross from the earth and chuck it at the wall. The wall that keeps us safe; the wall that separates us from the walkers. I wish she could see this place. She would have loved it. There was a library here, she would have lost her f***ing mind there. I miss her.
So does Daryl. I don't know how he got over it. He says he isn't, but then how does he get up every morning and go about his life? I don't get it. It's like he doesn't care.
Then I remember something that he told me when he first started going out looking for people with that Arron guy.
'I'm just hoping to find her, and I know it's stupid, but I keep thinking that maybe she ain't really-'
He had stopped there. None of us had been able to form the words stating that really is gone.
We can all think it; but no one can say it.
We all miss her craziness. Her false hope that everything would someday get better. Her motivational way of doing and saying things. Her stubbornness when no one would listen to her.
Even Judith misses her.
Apparently she somehow remembers her. Every now and then you can hear her asking for a 'rile', and we all know who she is referring to. I walk away every time. I don't cry over her anymore: I no longer have enough water in me necessary to make tears. I look down at the empty hole that once held her cross, marking nothing but grass and dirt.
That wasn't her grave: that was just some stupid thing that Carol built, hoping it would make us all feel better. I walked away from it. In a way, I was walking away from her.
Away from the memories of her forcing me to read books when I would rather be killing walkers. Memories of her running around the yard with the soccer ball.
But I couldn't really walk away from her. She would always be there: in the back of my mind.
I had been told time and time again that she wasn't coming back and that there was nothing I could I about it.
I ignored them all.
I sat down on a step facing the front gates. I would sit here and wait for Daryl to come back. I knew I would get in trouble by him for ripping up her cross, but I didn't care. It wasn't even really her cross to begin with.
I would wait here for Daryl to get back so I could tell him what I did.
Sounds stupid, right? I picked at the stupid weeds that surrounded that stone step. They were weeds camouflaged as little blue flowers. I saw them for what they really were though.
I had a strong hatred for these weeds.
Riley once told me that they were her favorite.
I remember her not caring when I told her they were just more stupid old weeds.
I looked up as I heard the gates slide open. Daryl was there, entering before Arron.
They hadn't found anyone else.
And I was secretly glad.
But I was thoroughly confused when I saw Daryl's smile as he came running into our makeshift town. I frowned.
How can he be so happy?
I saw Arron standing in the gate way. He wasn't moving.
I don't know what happened to these people while they were out, bu I think they went Dorothy. Like Riley had said Joey went, just before he shot her.
I watched as Arron stepped two steps sideways. Which was weird.
I sucked in a breath. I felt as if I were dreaming, almost. Or like I had died and gone to Heaven. Because that's where Riley would be. She never did anything to where she wouldn't make it in. No God could say no. She was like the fire that kept everyone going, what kept everyone from going Dorothy.
But I hadn't died and gone anywhere. I hadn't fallen asleep and entered a dream world.
There in the gateway stood a blonde girl. I knew her from somewhere, and I knew her from everywhere.
She threw me one of her classic crooked smiles.
Riley.
Reviews? Please?
And if I get enough people wanting one, I will make a sequel.
