Chapter 28: Land Seals

"This place is … AMAZING!" shouted Eli, his voice echoing and causing the entire mammoth costume to cringe as it stumbled down the final glowing step into Troll Market.

"Shhh, quiet Eli," came a rushed whisper from one of the girls. "We don't know that our disguise is successful until we interact with an actual troll. They might see right through our costume."

"Ooh, right. Sorry," said Eli, his voice softening. "So, how about we send Infiltrator-1 first and see what's out there. Maybe we don't have to interact with them at all and we can just sneak through alleys or something."

"Good plan," added Darci, taking her backpack off under the rug and turning on her headlamp. She then unzipped said bag to reveal a remote-control car with a small camera taped on top. Mary, in turn, pulled out a tablet, having been dubbed the Communications Officer of their little rescue effort. Darci then placed the plastic vehicle outside of the mammoth-disguise and stood next to the other girl, readying the controls.

Biting her upper lip, a look of concentration on her face, Draci pushed the analog stick forward and the little monster truck zoomed to life, making a huge U and promptly hitting into Steve's leg.

Steve yipped and turned away from his eyeholes, glared at the girls. "Can you even drive that thing?"

"Yes," grumbled Darci. "I can drive just fine."

With that, she reversed the little vehicle and it was off. It sped along like it owned the place, running wild and free. It was going places, doing things. It was -smaaaash!

The three girls immediately gasped as the screen went dark. Steve and Pepperjack also gasped, immediately backing up into the girls, their gazes forward.

"What just happened?" hissed Mary as she shook the tablet.

"It wasn't me," groused Darci. "My driving was fine."

"What was the blur before it went dead? Did either of you get a good look at it?" asked Claire, leaning in.

"Uh, girls?" choked Steve. "I think we have bigger issues than Darci's driving."

As usual, Steve was promptly ignored. Instead, the three girls continued smacking the tablet until Eli finally stuck his head down into the body of the disguise, his voice squeaking, "Uh, I don't mean to interrupt … but I think you should peek out front. We … have made first contact."

The mass of fake troll's legs immediately shuffled ahead, none of the limbs seeming to march in time. It looked especially odd when all the legs crowed to the front of the costume to peek out of Steve's eye holes.

It ... was a troll.

The first troll they saw was a normal orange troll, loinclothed, and picking his nose. Some would say he was nothing special, humdrum, and certainly not worth this amount of excitement he was stirring up. The kids all gapped nonetheless, not that the troll knew that. He just lifted his foot, watch one of the rubber toy wheels bound away and then continued onward, unaffected. Not once did he look in the kid's direction.

Only once the orange troll had passed by did all the teenagers explode into a cascade of excited, terrified, and slightly disgusted whispers.

"Did you see the size of him! We're all going to die down here. Why did I come with you losers?"

"How has no one ever seen these things in town before? I mean, come on?"

"Eww, disgusting. Did anyone else see that he was picking his nose."

"I think he's made of Ryolite. Don't you think, guys? Or maybe some type of granite. I'd have to get closer though. This is so amazing."

The chatter continued for a few more seconds until another troll, green and burly, walked by. He didn't even glance their way.

"Okay, we passed the test. Let's leave and come back later ... or never," squeaked Steve, hating himself for getting involved in this whole debacle. If he could have just avoided Eli after school the other day he would still be pleasantly ignorant of the nightmares that burrowed around under Arcadia. Yeah, plenty of people said Arcadia was a little abnormal, but this was way above abnormal.

Claire, of course, killed Steve's dreams of fleeing.

"This still doesn't prove anything. Neither one paid us any mind. It just proves that trolls are nearsighted or completely oblivious to the world around them," said Claire. "Steve, go find a troll to talk to?"

"What?! Why me?!" he squeaked.

"Because you are in the front, nimrod," added Mary. "Now hurry up. My Rug-Uggs are getting sweaty."

Bemoaning his coming death, Steve shuffled farther into Troll Market, stalling in the middle of the street when an orange troll finally seemed to notice them. The troll just stared as if curious so, Mary having to poke him in the back to keep him moving, Steve tripped forward. He had no idea what to say. So, he decided to fall into a default conversation.

"Hey … what's up? You come here often?" said Steve as he tried to lean against a nearby wall and look cool, even though he was a few heads shorter than the troll in question. He could practically hear all the girls rolling their eyes in the troll costume.

The orange troll continued to look at them oddly before he grumbled, "Whatever," and wandered away. The teenagers were all silent until the troll was out of hearing range, someone poking Steve in the back. "Ouch! Why does everyone keep kicking and poking me?! You told me to interact with a troll and I did."

"I said to interact," grumbled Claire. "Not flirt with him."

"I didn't flirt with him. And how do you know it was a he and not a she? Its kind of hard to tell," defended Steve. "Regardless, I was just … breaking the ice. What's so wrong with that?"

Claire rolled her eyes, stepping up next to Steve so she could see out of the eye-holes. She could see a busy intersection about half a block away near what looked like a cat shelter? She had no idea, but there was a neon cat sign on the building. In fact, there was a lot of neon lighting in the place. She didn't know if it was magic or electricity, but with that giant glowing stone in the distance, she was guessing the later.

"This place is magic, isn't it?"

"Generally, I would try to gather supporting evidence before proclaiming this, but yes! This place is definitely magic," agree Eli as he peeked down at the teens below. "I still can't believe this place is right below our feet. It's amazing."

Staring at the city a little while longer, Claire's wonderment started to go sour. Her lips thinned into a frown before she spoke, "For such a pretty place, it sure has a lot of terrible secrets though, doesn't it? The Milk Carton Epidemic, Jim & Toby's kidnapping, and why anyone would try to steal my brother."

Everyone was silent for a moment before Darci added, "Then let's find some answers."

And so, they shuffled like an odd caterpillar into the city's expanse, unaware that they had already gained the attention of more than one figure in the great city.

Half an hour later, it became apparent that they seemed to be blending in just fine. And so, the Creepslayerz trudged forward through the odd streets looking for clues. Steve had almost been banned from asking questions after asking one troll if they had seen any useless buttsnacks around.

"I vote we ban Steve from talking for the rest of this trip. His communication skills suck," added Darci.

"Hey, that last troll kept sniffing us. He was being rude," grumbled Steve as they hurried past a merchant selling what looked like living slimeballs.

"We might think it's rude, but it might be completely normal for them," commented Claire, nearly plowing right into Steve as the taller teen sudden stopped dead in his tracks. "… Why did you stop, Steve? Do you see anything?."

"I think we've been spotted," suddenly whispered Steve.

Before any of the girls could even question it though, Eli poked his head own into the mammoth body, agreeing, "Uh, yeah, guys, I think Steve's right. The whatever and buttsnack trolls are both pointing at us … while talking to some armed trolls. I think it's the troll's peacekeepers or authority figures … and ugh … they're definitely coming this way."

Mary immediately grabbed Steve by his shirt and shook him, "I'm too pretty to die! I haven't even kissed Tight Jeans Hank! Tight Jeans!"

"Guys stop shaking Steve! I'm going to fall!" wailed Eli as he was nearly knocked from his perch.

"Mare, calm down. We can't panic now!" cried Darci as she tried to stop the other girl from strangling the school bully.

"Stop screaming everyone or you're going to blow our cover," hissed Claire as she tried to calm everyone down.

To the passerby, it looked like the mammoth-looking troll was having an episode or something. All his legs were flopping about as his main body shook, his head haphazardly swinging back and forth as he … shouted at himself?

The town guard, while originally just watching the newcomer, was now actively investigating as multiple denizens came over to them to report the oddity.

"They're coming closer! What do we do?!" squeaked Eli as he clung to Steve's head.

Claire quickly pulled Mary off of Steve, stating calmly, "Remain calm. That's what. Steve, Eli. Stay in the costume. We can't all be caught if that is in fact why those trolls are heading over here. Just … flirt with them or something, and we'll cause a distraction so you can shuffle away. Okay?"

"Flirt? Distraction? Like what? An explosion? Don't leave us here!" nearly wailed Steve as Claire lifted up the backside of the troll, running into a nearby dark alley while the other two girls followed after.

Swallowing, Steve whimpered, "We're so going to die."

Eli didn't get to reciprocate that statement when suddenly two large trolls stalled in front of them. One had an axe and the other carried a halberd. The one with the halberd might have been a girl-troll … maybe, if her voice was anything to go off. Not that either boy understood a word that she said. She was likely speaking in another language. Greaaaat. Just awesome.

Trying to keep his knees from knocking together, especially when the troll holding the axe tightened his grip on the handle, Steve stumbled, "W-what did you say?"

Crossing her arms over her chest, halberd thankfully still strapped to her back, the female troll spoke again. Her voice was gravelly, intimidating, and kind of lovely … in a biker chick way. Not that Steve knew any biker chicks, but if he did, they'd probably sound like that.

"Why aren't you replying in Trollish, newcomer," finally said the female troll, ill amused. "Have you taken too many hits to the head?"

Swallowing, Eli covering his eyes, Steve was left to deal with this conversation all on his own. "Ugh, nnnooo. I was just awestruck by … y-your rugged … beauty? P-plus, my Trollish is a bit … rusty."

Steve watched the Creepslayerz girls roll their eyes as they took cover in a nearby alley … though their opinions hardly matter as they all dived into nearby barrels a second later, a troll heading down their alley. Some help they were.

Turning his attention back to the tolls at hand, Steve noticed that the axe-bearing troll was now shaking his head and putting his axe away. Apparently, he was used to such flirtations happening as he spoke to the female town's guard. "Shout if he tries killing you, Lump. I don't wanna listen to more trolls flirt with you today."

The bulky troll then stomped a few yards away, leaning against the wall. Lump merely looked amused, puffing up her chest as she spoke, "Lump will not fall for your smooth-talkery. She knows that trick, but she will accept the compliment. You know Lump's name now, but what is yours, newcomer?"

"I'm … uuuuugggg," said Steve, trying to think of a name. Eli was about to whisper something, probably a suggestion, but Steve pinched the other boy's leg. They were already getting stares. They didn't need to seem even odder with having two voices.

"Uuugghh?" said the guard. "That is an old name. How many U's does it have?"

"Um, I said … Gump? Yes. I am Gump. One U, like Forrest Gump," tried to joke Steve, shifting under the costume nervously. He threw a look at the barrels. Said troll was still there … starring at the closed barrels curiously. The girls hadn't been spotted, had they?

"I know not this Forrest Gump. Is he a battle hero?" asked Lump, shifting her hands to her hips as she raised a brow in question, regaining Steve's attention.

Laughing for a second, trying not to squeak in horror as the alley-troll picked up the barrel Claire had jumped in and started to walk away, Steve stumbled over his words, "Who? Oh yeah, um… Well, Forrest Gump was kind of a hero. I guess he was fearless, but not very smart."

"Sounds like good tale, but why do you come to Troll Market? I have never heard of troll that cannot speak Trollish. It makes you even more suspicious," said the guard, crossing her arms over her chest again.

Eli peeked down at Steve and the boys started making quick hand signals. Steve was waving at the barrels and the departing Claire. He was totally going to start panicking. Eli, not liking the growing frown on the female troll's face, quickly spoke in the other teenager's stead, "Magic! Its … because of magic. I wanted to learn … ugh … text-speak quickly and it made me forget … my Trollish?"

Now both town guards were staring at the costumed teens.

Not knowing what else to do, figuring it had to do with speaking in a different voice, he added, "It also changes my voice. Randomly. I even end up arguing with myself sometimes."

Steve, facepalmed, but it seemed that the female troll was buying it as she hummed in acceptance, "This text-speak had a hefty price, it seems. So, you came for a magical cure? RotGut's may have a Polyjuice, but anything stronger and you would need a mage or magic user. If you came here hearing of the magic boy, he is still training with the troll leader. He will probably be little help to you."

Eli and Steve shared a glance under the costume. Eli even mouthed Jim and Toby's names. If Steve and he were on the same page, remained to be seen.

"Yes," finally spoke up Eli after some awkward hand signals with Steve. "We were speaking of the magic boy. It wouldn't hurt for us to at least meet him, would it? Just to confirm that he's here, alive, and unable to help us. If it wouldn't be too much trouble."

The female troll was still eyeballing him before she stated, "Your second voice is a smooth talker. I will be asking his handlers, and if they accept, you will be seeing Lump real soon. Lump likes how you smell and will escort you."

"That would be wonderful, my fine troll lady," said Eli awkwardly as the two troll guards walked away. Only once they were out of hearing range did Eli squeak, "Did a troll lady just ask us out on a date? I don't know how I feel about this, Steve. I expect candles, rose petals and maybe matching corsages on my first date."

Steve snorted and watched the female troll walk away, "Well … she's really strong looking. Buffy even. We could do worse."

Eli was silent for a moment, uncertain how to reply to that, "What does she being buffy have to do with anything, Steve?"

Feeling defensive, Steve started stomping in the opposite direction, "Nothing! Let's just find the girls. Some distraction they were. We had to save our…selves."

Steve and Eli both stared with wide eyes at the alley where the girls had gone. Not only was Claire's barrel gone, but all of the barrels that had been there, including the ones Darci and Mary had jumped into, were gone.

Sighing, wondering once more why he was here, Steve grumbled, "Eli … its down to just the two of us. We're so dead."

"Uggghhh, why are there so many hills? I think he's taking us on a death hike, Jim. He knows we'll be thirsty and weak at the end, so when he makes the move to drown us, it'll be like drowning land seals," complained Toby as he stalled on the path, panting.

Jim, his footing sliding slightly, raised a brow, "Land seals? Toby, that makes no sense."

Vendel, stalling on what basically was a goat trail at this point, turned around and leaned on his staff as he stared at the two boys. "Trust me, tubby one, there are easier ways to rid myself of your whining. As for the river, the gathering pools are over this hill."

"Hill?" Toby bemoaned, "That's a cliff."

Jim merely laughed but didn't disagree, stalling for a moment when he felt a set of eyes on him. Looking down, he only saw the normal hustle and bustle of Troll Market. Merchants and denizens were going about their normal day down below. Frowning, he only moved forward when Toby finally stumbled past him.

It was probably nothing … or at least he hoped so.

XXX

Paw07: I love Steve especially since I know he likes kickass girls. Eli, as usual, is adorable, and it seems the Creepslayerz girls have decided to go on a misadventure. Overall, it's going as well as everyone thought it would. XD

Anyway, the Creepslayerz rescue attempt is getting pretty long so I'm just going to break it up into a three-parter for now. Plus, shorter chapters are easier for me to do and allow for much more regular updates. ^.^

And sorry if the proofread is lazy, I'm old and tired. XD