Jesse's POV

August

I could hear splashing coming from the hallway bathroom when I finally got home from my shift. I always hated the all day shifts at the hospital. I had barely placed my keys on the peg when there was a very loud splash. "Catarina de Silva," Susannah's voice said sternly, sounding tired and...something else, I wasn't quite sure what. Perhaps frustrated. The water had probably gone all over the room and created a large mess. "You know that you can't splash like that inside the house. It makes too much of a mess."

"Sorry, Mommy," my daughter mumbled.

"It's all right, sweetie," my wife said in a softer voice. There was a shrill giggle, indicating that Susanna had tickled Catarina. "I'm not mad at you and you're not in trouble. You just need to calm down and stop splashing so hard. Next time, you will be in trouble."

"Okay."

It was quiet then, save for the sounds of light splashing. I leaned against the doorframe so I could see into the room, watching Susannah finish washing Catarina's dark hair. I smiled, enjoying the scene. Susannah really was a wonderful mother to my daughter. She loved her very much and always wanted to do her best by and for her. She and Catarina had developed a wonderful bond.

"Mommy?" Catarina asked quietly, looking up at her stepmother. She dropped all of her toys into the bubbly bathwater. Her voice was somber, indicating that her question would be a serious one.

"Yes?" Susannah was distracted, trying to find the drain while straightening the mat at the same time.

"Why do you look so sad tonight?"

Susannah seemed startled by the question for a moment. She froze in her actions of draining the bathtub. Then she smiled and put away the toys before she helped Catarina out the tub, wrapping her in a large towel with a frog hood. "I'm not sad, Kitty Cat. Just tired."

I felt myself frown, even as Catarina accepted that answer at face value. I knew that Susannah was not telling the whole truth. I could hear it in her voice. I could see it in the slight tension of her shoulders. I could sense it. She was sad, though I wasn't quite sure why.

I watched her closely, as I helped her get Catarina ready for bed. Together, we told her a story about princesses and dragons. Susannah's happy smile never slipped, though I felt it was a bit forced. Then, as we tucked my daughter into her blankets and kissed her goodnight, I realized what was making my wife sad.

Two years ago today, Susannah had suffered her miscarriage. No wonder she was a little upset.

Once we were back in our bedroom, I pulled her into a loving embrace, trying to give her as much support as I could in that one hug. "I'm sorry."

"What in the world do you have to be sorry about? Did some patient make out with you at work today or something?" she asked, smiling a little. Then comprehension filled her green eyes. "Oh, Alexander? You noticed me sulking, huh?"

"I noticed. You hid your sadness well from Catarina, but I saw it. Will you be all right?"

She nodded, a sad smile pulling at her lips. "I'll be fine, Jesse, don't worry. I stopped by his little grave this morning, on my way to the grocery store. Being able to visit whenever I want has really helped me move on. His death isn't exactly the reason that I'm sad. I think I've gotten over that, mostly. It's just…" she trailed off, looking at the ground.

"Susannah de Silva," I said softly, lifting her chin so she was meeting my gaze. "What is it? What's on your mind?"

"I love Catarina, and I do think of her as my daughter, but…" Again, she trailed off.

I knew what she was thinking, even without her saying it. I'd come to the same conclusion, subconsciously. I was a little surprised that she wanted this, too, though. I was surprised that she felt she was ready for this. "You want to have a baby, don't you?"

She sighed, some of the tension leaving her. I think she was relieved that I seemed to know to what she was thinking. "Yes," she admitted in a slight huff. "I want a baby pretty badly, actually. I never did get a chance to have a baby. I want to experience that. I didn't even really get a chance to experience the pregnancy. It was pretty much over before it had even started. I'd only known about the baby for a month before I lost it. I want that again. I want the pregnancy, the whole thing, and the little baby. I want the pain and the sleepless nights and the first word. All of it."

"And I'd be lying if I said that I didn't want to expand my family even more. As you know, I've always wanted a large family. Are you sure you're ready for this now, though?" I studied her closely, looking for any sign of doubt or hesitation. All I saw was her determination. She was ready.

She smiled. "I'm pretty sure. The only thing that I'm really worried about are stupid ghosts."

I gave a humorless chuckle. "Yes, dealing with spirits can make having a newborn very difficult. Well, more difficult than it already is to have a newborn around. It was one of the reasons I moved back to Carmel after Maria's death. I needed help."

"I know. So, are you okay with us trying for a baby? We haven't been married for very long at all, but –"

"Let's pray about it," I said, ignoring her scowl at the words. She attended Mass with me and Catarina every week, but it wasn't very happily. "If it's meant to be, God will bless us with a baby."

"So…no more birth control?" she asked hopefully.

"No more birth control," I confirmed, kissing her fiercely.