Disclaimer: I don't own YYH

A/N: here have a shit post because I'm bored outta my damn mind.


Chapter 28: Talk Dirty

Characters: Hiei and Botan.

Rating: T pushing M

Summary: Botan tries to get Hiei to talk dirty to her. It goes exactly as expected.

X -x-x-x-x- X

She released his lips with a smack and smiled as he loomed over her. "Let's try something different tonight."

If someone had told her all those years ago while she was holding Keiko's Jagan closed while Yusuke fought a green dude covered in eyes, that that guy would be her lover someday, she would have laughed herself unconscious!

But here she was, in a... something with Hiei. Not only was that shocking but also how it started. Never in her wildest dreams would she have thought an attractive, powerful, self assured man like Hiei would be…

Oh, she couldn't say it!

But apparently Hiei had little to no sexual experience. It came out at a Christmas party when Hiei refused to kiss Botan under the mistletoe and the boys just wouldn't let up with their teasing, saying how sad that Genkai Jr knew how to kiss but Hiei didn't.

Hiei's face was red with shame and he looked like he was about to burn down the toddler's namesakes temple, when she intervened, announcing of course Hiei could kiss and planted one right on his lips.

Hiei had trouble responding and before the inebriated boys could catch on, she drug the humiliated fire demon outside.

It took some work, and more ogre killer for Hiei to drink, before he admitted he hadn't had much affection. Sexual or otherwise.

So a deal was struck. Botan would teach him all she could about such things if he would stop threatening to kill her all the time.

He reluctantly agreed.

She didn't know when but this... whatever it was, changed a little and she found herself looking forward to his company. No, the L word was not near but she was definitely in like with him. And lust. So much lust. Hiei was a quick learner!

But tonight she wanted something a little more tame. Hiei was looking at her to finish her request and she grinned wickedly.

"Talk dirty to me."

He raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Okay, he didn't know what that was either. Poor fella.

She giggled and played with his hair, to which he swapped her hand away. She knew he secretly liked it. "Talking dirty. It's when you say dirty things to your partner to spice things up a bit. Here, I'll start."

She thought for a moment. "I'm gonna work this…" she cooed, rising her hips up to grind against his pelvis, earning her a grunt. "Mmm, I'm gonna work it so hard…" Yeah, that wasn't exactly dirty but she was starting PG before she went full R...or X.

He looked confused, as he did with each new thing she showed him. "And this is normal to do? Is it part of foreplay?" he asked.

She nodded. "Uh huh. Now you try. Tell me some dirty things you want to do to me."

"I want to have sex with you," he deadpanned.

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, but what else? That's the end result. What other dirty things can you imagine? Don't be shy! Let it all out!"

He considered his words a moment and then slowly grinned. "You want to know what I want to do?" She nodded eagerly. "You really want to know?" She yelped a yes, pushing against him.

He fully smiled then, sharp fangs showing, with a feral growl. "I want to tie you naked to a tree, bathe you in the blood of all I slaughter, blazing their corpses with the flames of the underworld as their screams of torment become our song! Then I'll wrap their entrails around your neck and-"

She pushed him away from her. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, what the fuck?!"

He blinked at her horrified expression. "What, too dirty?"

~End


A/N: in case no one gets it, based from a scene in Scary Movie 2.

Also if you know my writing at all, then you know I'm an asshole and I do shit like this. Not sorry, goodbye.